Chapter 7 - A new world, a new life
You are Twilight Sparkle, and you are utterly inconsolable. The Princess' scroll lays unfurled on a nearby table, its grave news open for all to see.
How could you have been so stupid, so reckless?
"Aw c'mon Twah we all know it wasn't on purpose. How could ya have known?"
"Applejack is right darling. It was an honest mistake."
"No it's not!" You wail. "This isn't just a mistake; it’s a catastrophe! The Princess always told to me never cast spells that are incomplete!"
The page containing the Transuniversal Summoning Spell had a small piece missing. You thought nothing of it; that it was just torn, blank page space...until the Princess' scroll informed you that it had contained the spell's one limitation.
"Now...now Anon can never return home and it’s all my fault! He is going to hate me!"
"Oh Twilight. Anon won't hate you...I don't think he could hate you. He seems so...nice."
"Yeah! Bros don't blame people for mistakes. It'll be fiiiine."
"I just hope he and the Princess get back soon so we can finally have this Paaaaar-"
The Pink pony is interrupted by an eruption of white light at the center of the library. In its wake, two beings stand...well one stands and the other is doubled over in apparent discomfort.
-----------Anonymous------------
Fuck teleportation.
Agreed.
Holy shit BRAIN! You're back!
Yeah. So...that was utterly fucked huh?
No doubt...but we're alive.
Yeah...I think we're gonna be okay bro.
Yeah. Me too. Oh wait we're back in the library!
After stabilizing yourself so you won't vomit all over the floor of the treehouse, you glance about. All of the little ponies you met earlier are here, but there is another you don't recognize. She's Pink, with a poofy mane and tail.
"My loyal subjects..." Celestia greets the group with a warm smile. "I have concluded my...business, with Anonymous."
"And?" Twilight asks with trepidation. You can't help but notice she looks like shes been crying. All of the room's occupants look tense.
"You were all absolutely right. Anonymous is no threat to Equestria, in fact quite the contrary." She closes her eyes. "I acted brashly, and without the same amount of patience and understanding I expect from my subjects.
"So...so Anon's not going to be punished?"
"No my faithful student he isn't. I have already welcomed him to our world personally."
All the ponies exhale at once...and then cheer.
"Yee-haw!"
"Yay~"
"Woohoo!"
"Simply marvelous!"
"Awww yeah!"
"Thank goodness..." Twilight sighs, but she doesn't seem truly relieved. "Anon, I'm glad everything turned out alright but...but there's something you need to know."
"I already do."
She winces. "Anonymous I'm so sorry! I shouldn't hav-"
You stop her mid-sentence when you walk over and wrap the little purple pony in a hug.
“It’s alright. I'm not angry."
She pushes away to look at you in shock. "What?! But- but you can never-"
"I know Twilight, and I am okay with it."
The purple unicorn is at a loss for words. She just stares at you, mouth agape.
"There's a reason...just...it's personal. Okay?" You smile. "I'm okay. Really."
The purple unicorn just stares in disbelief for a moment before nodding. "A-alright Anonymous..."
Celestia smiles. "Twilight, my faithful student."
Twilight whips her head toward her teacher. "Y-yes?!"
"You are the one responsible for bringing Anon into this world, as a result, it should be you who is responsible for his safety and well-being."
"O-of course!"
Celestia nods. "Then it is settled. Until he can find his own home here in Ponyville, he is to remain here with you and assist with your research."
"Huh?!"
wat
"Furthermore I expect an additional report from you regarding your experiences living with him, and a report from you as well Anonymous detailing what you learn about our world. Consider this an intensive, if accidental, cultural exchange project."
"Uh...er...okay?"
"For your work you will receive a monthly stipend of two hundred bits, and I will begin the process of your citizenship...starting now."
With that, Celestia turns back toward the door, then looks back. "Well? Come my little ponies and human!"
Dumbly, you all follow her outside into midday Ponyville.
Minutes later, you are all located in Ponyville square. The entire walk there, your head was on a swivel. You hadn't actually seen Ponyville yet...and it was blowing your mind. It was all so goddamn COLORFUL, like a liter of acid had been poured into your brain.
Tripping balls dude.
I know BRAIN.
You received no small share of double takes and gasps of shock, but the presence of the Princess was enough to set them at ease, and have them prostrating before your group. As you had all walked, the Princess requested that word be spread of a royal announcement, and godDAMN had those little ponies moved.
This Alicorn, right here, RAN this shit, and though she seemed kind and humble...you could tell she knew it.
Now, you were all standing on a raised platform, which has been built in fucking MINUTES just for this. You could kind of tell what was going to happen. The spaghetti was already starting to flow; you never did well in front of crowds.
But this would be the easiest way...
...you hoped.
"Greetings, my little ponies." Celestia addresses the congregation with that honey-like voice. "As you can no doubt see, we have a visitor here in Ponyville!"
"WOAH."
"IS THAT A MONKEY?"
"Why is it wearing clothes?"
"IT’S HIDEOUS!"
"I think it’s kind of cute~"
"MONSTER!"
Oooh boy, here we go. You can already feel the bile tang in your throat. You were about to lose it. Suddenly you feel a hoof on your leg, looking down you see Twilight smiling.
"It will be alright, The Princess will make sure of it."
"SILENCE!" The alicorn roars in a reverberating octave.
The crowd becomes as quiet as a grave.
"For shame. My little ponies I am disappointed in you. Judging one by their outward appearance is wrong...though, even I forgot that lesson today when I first met this individual; and for that-" She turns to you with a sad smile. "-I am deeply ashamed, and sorry."
You manage a small smile and nod. Celestia turns back to the crowd, who is also shamefaced.
"I have studied this being, named Anonymous extensively, and he is no monster. He bears no ill will or intent. He is kind, and intelligent, and here to stay as it were."
"Consider this, my little ponies, a royal edict. Anonymous is to be treated with the same respect, dignity, and kindness that you would show to any other pony. He has my personal seal of approval and my protection. He is your neighbor now, I expect you all to think of him as a friend."
The crowd murmurs amongst itself for a moment, then stamps its hooves in applause.
"WORKS FOR ME!"
"WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!"
"Why is it wearing clothes though?"
"SORRY FOR CALLING YOU HIDEOUS."
"I still think he’s kind of cute~"
"NOT A MONSTER! HURRAY!"
Well fuck you sideways, that had to be the quickest reversal of a potential lynch mob EVER.
She runs this shit alright. Like a boss.
Satisfied, Celestia turns back to you and the mane six. "I hope that clears the air for you
here. And, Anonymous?" She smiles. "Welcome to Equestria."
"...thanks for having me?"
She chuckles warmly. Twilight is hopping in place. "Thank you Princess! I- WE won't disappoint you!"
"I know my faithful student."
You turn to see the six ponies chatting amongst themselves happily...and you know.
...yeah...yeah you're gonna be okay.
Soon you are walking back through town again with Twilight and her friends, amongst a MUCH more welcoming populace. They smile, and wave, some even offer kind words, apologies, and welcomes of their own.
"OH! MISTER ALI-I MEAN ANONYMOUS!" One of the ponies you walk with calls behind you.
"Ye-"
OH GOD FACE FULL OF PINK
PANIC MODE ENGAGED
Two large light blue eyes dominate your vision as a sentient ball of cotton candy latches itself onto your face.
"MYNAMEISPINKIEPIEANDIT'SONICETOMEETYOUWELCOMEAGAINTOPONYVILLEISAWYOUPASSEDOUTEARLIERANDHADTOPREPAREFORAWELCOMINGPARTYBECAUSETHATSWHATIDOI-
*gasp*
PLAN PARTAAAAYS! And I have your welcoming party all ready! You can meet all the ponies and really get to know them and let them get to know you!!!!"
Your ears. THEY FUCKING BLEEEEEED. And she is STILL LATCHED ONTO YOUR FACE OH GOD.
"Uh...welcoming party?" You manage somehow.
"YUH HUH!" The two blue eyes bob up and down rapidly.
"Er...I, uh...I don't really do parties."
The pink pony falls to the ground, dejected, and poofy mane flat. "Oh...okay. I mean, that's alright...I guess." She looks like you killed her cat.
Oh god what DID YOU DO?! WHAT DO YOU DO?! SAY SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING SA-
"But, uh, I guess I can give it a try?"
*POMF*
"WOOOHOOO! LETS GO! TO SUGARCUBE CORNER!!"
The six ponies, now caught up in the spirit, corral you toward what looks to be a fucking gingerbread house. You are dragged inside as the door slams behind you. Everything goes dark. Oh God. They were just waiting to get you alone. Now you will truly d-
The lights flip on.
"SUUUURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!!"
HEART, TALK TO ME.
SHE CAN'T TAKE IT CAPTAIN
GET ON IT!
Holy shit. You feel your pulse normalize as you take in the spectacle. It looks like a bakery, a bakery FILLED with ponies in party hats. You are about to remind the pony that it isn't really a surprise party if you are told about it-
When the most divine piece of culinary art to ever grace your tongue is shoved into your mouth. You realize you haven't eaten ALL FUCKING DAY.
God in heaven. It’s so good. IT’S SO GOOD!
"Wh-what is-"
"My cupcakes! Good huh? Want another? It’s your party after all!
"...yes. Yes I do."
And so you party like you never have before, and it is good.
-----------------------
In Canterlot, the Princess of the sun disembarks from her chariot.
"Thank you all for your work today. You are relieved."
The squad of guard ponies bows deeply before departing. Once out of sight and earshot of her guardians, the princess finally releases a long sigh. Today had been an utter roller-coaster of emotion; she was absolutely exhausted. Wearily, she makes her way toward the entrance of her castle. Thankful that the day would soon be over and Luna could-
"Hello Sister."
Celestia freezes and whips around, to find the Princess of the Moon standing right behind her.
Sun and stars above she was sneaky when she wanted to be.
"Luna! How many times have I asked you not to do that?! ...and Good evening, I trust you slept well?"
The younger sister giggles impishly. "But it is ever so much fun! And good evening to you as well, yes we slept fine...until you began yelling." Luna's face becomes etched with worry. "We hear word of a...visitor?"
Celestia furrows her brow. "...yes. Yes Equestria has a visitor, and I am sorry I woke you."
The Goddess of the sun turns away from the door she had been about to enter and gestures for her sister to follow. The two deities trot serenely across gilded walkways and parapets until they find themselves seated side by side on an ornate balcony overlooking all of Canterlot. Celestia closes her eyes, simply enjoying the feeling of the breeze across her coat in silence. Luna does the same. She can sense the turmoil within her sibling, and simply chooses to wait until she is ready to speak.
What feels like an eternity passes before Celestia starts. "My student is a gifted mare Luna. Very gifted."
"So we've heard. You tend to go on about her for ages and quite frequently."
Celestia smiles warmly. "I do so out of pride, and it is well placed. Today...today she did something incredible."
The moon princess turns to her elder with a tilt of the head. "What?"
"She called an extrauniversal being into Equestria."
Luna blinks in surprise. "Oh! Well, splendid! We assume she sent it b-"
"Her copy of the spell was incomplete. I do not know how she even acquired the tome. She did not know about the limit of connection."
Luna gapes. "But there is more." Celestia continues as she turns to Luna with a smile.
"He's human."
Luna gasps. "Human?! Truly?!"
Celestia nods as she turns back to their city. "Indeed...Twilight actually seems quite taken with him...but there is still more Luna."
Luna blinks incredulously.
"...I believe him to be one of the displaced."
The moon goddess stares, frozen, in disbelief. "How...how can you know? For sure?"
Celestia sighs and looks away in shame. "When I received my student's letter...I...I panicked. I lost myself to the old horrors Luna. I personally took him into custody and...sun and stars I did something unthinkable."
Luna's face grows stern. "We thought we recognized the echo of that magic when we were awoken. You dove into him didn't you? Saw all he was."
"Yes..." Celestia utters faintly. "Yes I did Luna. I had to know. To be sure..."
"...and?"
The Princess of the sun's smile returns. "He is good. Good in heart, mind...and somewhat deed. He has faced adversity...faced that world alone and yet he did not let it stain him...not completely at least."
"Well...that is good, and we are sure you learned something as-… stars, there is more isn't there?"
Celestia nods gently and gazes up into the twilight skies. "Yes. Luna...he is their son."
"...that's...that's not-"
"He bears her focus Luna. A keepsake of his mother; her pendant..."
Luna shakes her head in disbelief. Her gaze snaps back to her sister. "If that is true, if he truly is their child...then, you saw it? He spoke of it?"
"Yes."
"A friend?"
"Yes."
"That bore no name, voice, or shape-"
"-yet guided him all the same."
"Then it is true...then as you gazed into him-"
"-he in turn gazed into me, and knew the truth about me. About us."
Luna remains silent for a few long seconds before turning back to the darkening skies...
"It will be time for me to rise soon..."
"And for me to set. Yes."
With that, the sisters close their eyes, horns aglow. The sun rapidly finishes its descent beyond the horizon while the moon soars into the heavens and with it the tapestry of the cosmos.
The two deities stare into the heavens. "...magnificent as always Luna."
"Thank you Sister...we try."
Silence reigns over the monarchs for a time.
Celestia sighs. "Luna...I, I know you still disagree with my decision...about what I did so long ago but-"
"Sister." Luna interjects tersely. "We are not a foal. We know who it is between the two of us that holds more sway over Equestria, politically and literally. But-"
The smaller of the two alicorns gazes into the eyes of the larger, expression one of glacial ice. Imperial authority rolls off her in waves
"If it is as you say; that this human is one of the displaced, that he is their son, that he bore...'it'." Her eyes narrow. "Then 'it' will return. He will manifest. When that occurs, when that day, nay, moment comes-"
Her gaze becomes even more piercing, if that was possible. "-you will tell him. You will tell him everything. He deserves to know, and you will grant us this kindness."
Celestia balks for but a moment at the magnitude of her sister's intensity before bowing her head in acceptance. "Yes Luna. I shall reveal to him all, I will bear all the sins of my heart...my shame. I promise you this."
"We will hold you to those words sister."
"I swear upon the sun."
Apparently satisfied, Luna's expression softens and she gazes back out across the dark world, Celestia follows suit.
"...this human. Does he have a name?"
"Yes, though he cannot remember it. He has taken the moniker of ‘Anonymous’..."
Luna nods, as if rolling the moniker around in her mind. "Anonymous...the last son of Arcadia."
Silence returns as the two goddesses sit side by side gazing past the horizon at something unknowable beyond the world.
-----------Anonymous------------
It’s night when the party is finally over.
Your stomach feels like it’s going to burst, your legs feel like jelly, your ears ring, your hands ache from shaking so many hooves-
And yet you are grinning from ear to ear.
That had been the most fun you've had...ever. The seven of you walk back to the tree house, laughing, not a care in the world.
"Land sakes, didn't know you humans could dance lahke that"
"It was goofy as hay! That thing you did, 'the worm', GOLD!"
"Now Rainbow dear I thought his dancing was quite...unique. Yes, unique."
"I am glad you...um...you were able to meet so many ponies tonight Anon."
"Definitely! Pinkie you outdid yourself like always!"
"Aw shucks Twilight don't I always?!"
"Really Pinkie, it was so awesome! Thank you!"
Eventually you make it to Twilight's home, exhausted.
"So, Anon, you say you don't do parties?" Pinkie asks gloatingly with the waggle of a brow.
"Yeah...uh...that was actually...well it was my first real one."
Pinkie gasps. "No. WAY! How is that possible? How come you and your friends never had a party?"
Oh god...
"Er...I've never really had friends, least not for long."
There is a collective gasp. "What? No friends?" Twilight cries in shock. "But why?"
...whelp.
"Kind of why I'm so glad to be here really...my life back home wasn't very fun. Not like this at all..."
You say this as you flop yourself down in a chair, the ponies all sit down around you.
"Anon...what was your life like back on earth?" Twilight asks with concern.
...You tell them everything.
Your life as an orphan.
Your lack of a family, or a true home.
The abuse you suffered within foster care.
Your time living on the streets.
Your chosen fields of study at college.
And finally the straw that broke the camel's back; the termination of your loans.
You did leave out a few more personal facts, but there really was no need for them to be known, not yet at least.
"And, well...that's pretty much it."
Not a dry eye in the house.
"But hey...that's life as they say. Got used to it, you just sort of learn to adapt...keep on keeping on y-"
You are struck mute, and dumb, when Twilight throws herself into your chest, hugging you desperately.
"Stop-" she chokes into your chest. "Just stop Anon...no more of that...please."
Your heart stops when those big purple eyes, filled with tears, look up into your own.
"You don't have to think like that anymore, you don't have to live like that anymore. We, all of us, we're your friends now."
One by one the ponies around you stand and wrap their forelegs around you.
"And this-" she looks around the treehouse. "-this is your home now, for as long as you want it to be."
The mane six murmur and nod, sniffling themselves.
...brain, something is about to happen-
Hell no. You hold that shit in like a fucking man.
But-
HOLD THAT SHIT IN PUSSY.
You manage to hold it together and swallow the lump in your throat but your eyes remain damp as you hold the ponies close.
It feels so good. It feels so good to say you have friends, that you have a home.
So you weep, spiritually at least, in joy, that you have found a place for yourself. A true home.
...you're gonna be alright.
Eventually you all separate. The other ponies bid you goodnight and invite you over to their respective homes, jobs, and recreational activities. You happily accept as your body reminds you that you are dead tired. Twilight leads you up the stairs to the loft.
"You can have that bed over there for now, the sheets are clean."
"Awesome, thanks Tw-"
There is a lizard in a basket at the foot of what you assume to be Twilight's bed.
"Oh! That’s Spike, he’s a baby dragon and my assistant!"
"Oh...a dragon? Awesome."
You are too out of it to lose your shit over dragons being real. You allow yourself to just fall forward into the guest bed.
And in the name of every pantheon in existence it is the most comfortable bed you have ever had the privilege to lie on.
Twilight giggles. "Good night Anon."
"Night Twi."
She looses a wicked yawn before climbing into her own bed, then gasps.
"Ohmygosh! I just realized something! We're going to get to be something I've always wanted to be with another pony!"
"Wassat?" you murmur, already drifting off.
"Study Buddies!"
You are already asleep.
-----------------------
Luna's moon hangs high over Canterlot, and the goddess herself is spending this night much like she would any other; marveling at her work. Celestia had gone to bed hours ago, drained from the events of the day. As the Goddess of the moon moves a star juuust right-
She feels it.
On the edge of her awareness, she feels it. The tiniest thread of the ethereal plane that overlays the physical world twitches, shakes…
Then courses full speed toward a certain hamlet in the distance.
She smiles.
-----------???------------
It comes in sleep from nowhere.
You know exactly what it is.
It’s excited, jubilant, and cheerful.
It knows you, and you know it in turn.
It wants to be with you once more, inside you, and never be apart again.
It wants to be used through you, be learned and understood by you, and for others to learn of it through you.
You understand, and you welcome it.
You have your friend once more
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Anon is a little bitch please stop writing
Anon and his brain, funniest "buddies" ever. Even if the rest of the story hadn't been good, then the Anon/BRAIN conversations would still make it worth the read.
"Tripping balls dude."
I nearly wet myself!
The conversations between Anon and BRAIN are freaking hilarious.
Otherwise, good writing, interesting premise, and promising amusing antics. I'll make sure to follow this one.
Good work man, good work.
Loved it!
... also First! (I hope)
...Damn
funny as always, fitanon.
I laughed.... So MUCH! Just, thanks.
You are awesome.
Dude forget what haters say this shit is gold. I am always looking forward to the updates from this story. Keep them coming.
I spy... a Plotline!
As always, very good, and you did an excellent job of remaining very vague in what exactly it is that Anon is supposed to be the son of, or represent.
Looking forward to the next chapter as usual
Let him have a real name!
I mean, Princess Celestia seriously saw his entire life, and Princess Luna was apparently the 'friend' he had in his head. So how could neither of them know his name?
OH SHIT'S HITTING THE FAN
Lovely, just lovely.
I-I mean Soddin Humies...
1867036 Yeah, I don't know if you're going for the audience insert or not, but he should have a name...
I have no words to describe how much I love this, take my moustaches!
Now that he's apparently found his place in things and gotten the first real friends he's ever had, I think this might be approprate to leave here...
1866852
I find it ironic that you call Anon a little bitch yet your profile pic has the main character from MLD. He's way more of a "little bitch" than Anon.
1866188
*COUGH*hrrmmm*COUGH*Iwouldhavexpectedsteamtobesoothing*COUGH*foryourthroat*COUGH*thenagain*COUGH*yoursuckingitfromthesource*COUGH*andnotinhalingitindirectly*COUGH*likekettlesteam*COUGH*
Again, love brains commentary
i just thought of an anagram for BRAIN
Biotic
Referee
And
Internal
Narrator
Its gonna be.... Alright...
3 things.
The BRAIN is back and apparently his whole body can talk to him, hilarious.
The last son of Arcadia, that sounds very familiar..
Pinkie Pie scene was hilarious.
Brilliance and comedy for teenagers manifested themselves into this story.
Please continue with your fabulous writing
Me like new chapter.
Yes, please continue, I'm loving this. Twilight's reaction to Anon's life story was perfect, that's exactly how I see her reacting to such a thing.
"SHE CAN'T TAKE IT CAPTAIN!"
Epic chapter. Loved the parts with the brain as always. The ending was sufficiently cryptic and awesome as well. Keep 'em coming!
I need to stop juggling 6 different story's at once
"MYNAMEISPINKIEPIEANDIT'SONICETOMEETYOUWELCOMEAGAINTOPONYVILLEISAWYOUPASSEDOUTEARLIERANDHADTOPREPAREFORAWELCOMINGPARTYBECAUSETHATSWHATIDOI-"
There should be an extra S here after IT'S unless you did that on purpose to make it look even more scrunched. The THATS near the end should have an apostrophe so it's consistent with the IT'S from earlier.
This is getting ominous for anonymous
At some point in this story, shit's gonna get real. Can't wait to see how it develops.
REGISTER HEART!
TOO MANY FEELS!
SO MUCH PLOT
Hm... Well, what are the odds. I don't really like stories where the MC is revealed to be a "Oh my Celestia! He's... the One!
" character, but I think it'll be tolerable.
And... if he gets turned into a pony later I'm going to throw a hissy-fit!
"OH! MISTER ALI-I MEAN ANONYMOUS!" ~~ Awww shit, foreshadowing activated.
Ep-Epicosity overload.
System malf-f-function.
Nee-Need MOAR!
1870398 I guess she wanted to say Alien.
I thought the friend was going to be Brain.
1867036 Maybe it's because ponies can't pronounce his name and he can't either, now that he's only capable of speaking equestrian.
I think everyone agrees when i say that we need more lines for Brain
MOAR! I MUST FIND OUT WHAT WILL HAPPEEEEEEN
YEAH WHAT MY BRIAN JUST SAID!
WTF MY NAME IS NOT BRAIN! ITS BRAIN!
Oh gosh. I love this!
Just one thing that caught my eye.
Are you sure you should be using a term like "the mane six" in a story like this? Now, I don't know if MLP exists in his world, but "mane six" is a brony-created term and it felt a bit odd to see it here...
Other than that, awesome job, mate. Have a moustache
"MYNAMEISPINKIEPIEANDIT'SONICETOMEETYOUWELCOMEAGAINTOPONYVILLEISAWYOUPASSEDOUTEARLIERANDHADTOPREPAREFORAWELCOMINGPARTYBECAUSETHATSWHATIDOI- Explodes
Someone tell me what that says I can't even comprehend it.....
and......
that life story!!!! 
Wouldn't pulled be a better word to use then called?
Also great chapter, and I already have an idea at where this is heading.
Loving BRAIN. I really thought that would be the "friend," but I guess you're going a bit deeper than that. Welp, looking forward specifically to some non-plot related filler interaction between twi and anon.
its going down ! but to were is it going I have a slight idea.
The BRAIN's wise advice.. where would Anon be?
Dead I tell you, dead.
AWWWW YEAH Brains back =D