• Published 29th Oct 2012
  • 6,075 Views, 335 Comments

And Then, Twilight Was a Marine - totallynotabrony



Exactly what it sounds like

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Plus, Fluttershy Was a Spy

Fluttershy felt like she was drowning. Her eyes snapped open and she coughed, spitting out a fizzy, slightly bitter beverage. Above her was a worried face, sporting reddish whiskers and framed by more locks of the same.

“What’s your name, lass?” His voice carried plenty of accent.

“F-Fluttershy.” Her chest heaved, attempting to regain her breath.

The face, of what she realized must be a man, nodded and gently let her head down from the position in which he had apparently been force feeding her from an amber glass bottle. The label on it read Killian's.

He moved a few steps away and gave Fluttershy room to take in her surroundings. She sat up on the bed and looked around. The place appeared to be a small hotel room. She could hear the sounds of a city outside the curtained window. It seemed to be evening.

Fluttershy knew she had to figure out what was going on, to see if this situation was important to what her friends were trying to figure out, or if it was just a random event in the life of whoever she had replaced. She asked, “Who are you?”

“Call me Mick. It’s easier to pronounce than my name, and close enough regardless, despite being on the wrong side of an ethnic slur.” The man shrugged. “I’m a private contractor working for the United States National Security Agency. The NSA assigned me to work with you as your intoxication specialist.”

Fluttershy frowned. “Intoxication?”

“Aye, the Killian’s. Apparently me being Irish is qualification enough.” He shrugged again. “I’m the one who keeps you in the stuff so you can pass undetected.”

Fluttershy leaned forward, sensing this was important. “Undetected by what?”

“Security guards or polygraphs. If you’re Fluttershy, then you don’t know anything, so you’re not lying when you say that you don’t know anything. We use it to smuggle you into places.”

“Smuggle me where?”

“Well, right now we’re in Shanghai.”

“Where is that?”

“China.”

Fluttershy swallowed hard. Yes, this was important.

Mick checked his watch. “It’s about time to be going. We have to be there after nightfall, so all the nerds will have gone home for the day. Or at least most of them. Hackers never truly sleep. It doesn’t matter that it’s Christmas Eve.”

“Hackers?” Fluttershy asked, getting up.

“Electronic bandits. Thieves that don’t need to break into your house to steal your valuables. Total arseholes. It’s the NSA’s job to catch them, patrolling the internet, using digital forensics, jaming with the console cowboys in cyberspace.”

“Oh, okay.” Fluttershy nodded. “What’s Christmas?”

“A holiday. The Chinese don’t celebrate it, but they do manufacture most of the stuff that people who do buy for the event.”

Mick paused, continuing the pack things up, and changed the conversation to a different subject. “We’ve managed to track a major group of hackers to this city. One of them must have gotten a little sloppy and we actually identified the building where they operate.”

“What will we do?” Fluttershy asked quietly as she got off the bed and began to help him clean up the room.

“The internet is great, but there’s only so much we can do, especially if they’re prepared to counter our hacking. Sometimes we need a backdoor.”

“Like…bypassing the main defenses?”

“That’s right.”

Fluttershy finished packing all the gear that looked like it was sized to fit her. She slung the pack over her shoulders and followed Mick out of the room. The two of them went down the hallway and got into an elevator. Mick pushed the button for the ground floor.

There was a few seconds of silence as the elevator started to descend. Quiet music played in the background. Fluttershy shifted a little on her hooves. She looked at the panel of buttons. “Can you hack that?”

“Huh?” Mick glanced at the panel. “I suppose so, although if it’s not connected to the internet it would be more difficult.”

The entered the hotel lobby, crossed it, and went out the door. The weather was chilly and a few snowflakes drifted down from the night sky. Everywhere Fluttershy looked, there seemed to be a holiday atmosphere.

Mick quickly corrected her on that. “Like I said, it may look like Christmas here, but that’s just because they sell it to us.”

“Did they…hack Christmas, too?”

“Sometimes it seems that way.” Mick sighed, but then smiled. “This is a perfect opportunity for your cover, though. Let’s take a walk and do a little sightseeing.”

They strolled down the street looking at the decorations. Fluttershy would occasionally stop and ask Mick if he could hack something. When she asked about a bushel of plastic mistletoe, he sighed with exasperation.

They paused at a street corner. Mick looked around and then knelt down to Fluttershy. “Here, I’m going to put this receiver in your ear.”

He poked it in carefully, the tufts of hair concealing the small device.

“What is it for?” she asked.

“I’ll tell you later. Right now, we just need to get you into position.” Mick pointed down the street to where two men in uniform stood. “I want you to walk that direction. Those guys will probably stop you. Just talk to them and be polite.”

“Okay.” Fluttershy began to walk, just as she had been instructed. She was a little nervous, but nothing indicated that she was in trouble. Yet, anyway. As she drew even with the men, they stepped towards her and said something in a language she didn’t understand.

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

One of the men switched to recognizable speech. “Why are you passing in this direction?”

“I’m just sightseeing.” It was true, after all.

“What is your name?”

“Fluttershy.”

The two men consulted a small device and appeared to be rapidly poking buttons. Fluttershy wondered if it could be hacked. Based on the trouble they seemed to be having, perhaps it already had.

After a few minutes, one of the men turned back to her. “Are you just a tourist? Do you plan to hurt the Chinese government?”

“Oh no, I would never hurt anyone!”

They continued to give her a critical eye for a few more seconds and then waved her through. Fluttershy continued on her way.

“You did well, lass.” said Mick’s voice in her ear. “Don’t give any indication that you can hear me. Just keep walking and take a right on the next street.”

Fluttershy did as she was told. Mick continued talking. “Your earpiece has a small GPS beacon in it so I can track you. That will become more difficult as you go along, with interference and such, but I’ll help you as much as I can. Open your bag.”

Pausing to take off the backpack, Fluttershy discovered a black suit inside. It was not quite a Dangerous Mission Outfit, lacking the cute bunny ears, but she supposed it looked stealthy enough. With instructions from Mick, she slipped it on, instantly feeling more hackery and secret agenty.

“Okay,” said Mick, “Look for the nearby office building. It should be mostly white in color, twelve stories tall, and with a lot of windows. It’s also surrounded by a wall and has soldiers guarding it.”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy murmured to herself. She easily spotted the compound he was talking about.

“I want you to go inside,” Mick said.

Fluttershy nearly squeaked in surprise.

“They aren’t expecting a penetration from the air. Actually, they're not expecting a physical penetration at all. That's the beauty of this op - old school gets things done. Nerds don't expect non-internet attacks. Now get going. You’re wearing black and it’s night. You’ll be fine. Just fly to the roof.”

Fluttershy gulped and forced her wings to spread. She hesitantly took to the air, carrying the backpack. As predicted, none of the guards looked upward as she drifted overhead.

She gently set her hooves on the rooftop. Mick spoke to her again. “There should be a door nearby. It leads down to a bank of cooling systems that keep their security servers in check. If we force the cooling to stop, it should shut down the computers to keep them from overheating. When that happens, our software should be able to get past the security and into their deeper systems.”

Fluttershy wasn’t sure how that worked, but decided that the man who spoke the technobabble probably knew what he was talking about. She quietly opened the rooftop door and descended the stairs inside. She realized this must be the literal “backdoor” the NSA was looking for.

Mick’s voice was scratchier now, more indistinct. “I need you to find the…” a burst of static cut in “…cooling system. It should be…” more static.

Fluttershy poked at her ear, trying to improve the reception. Mick continued. “…bomb. Small one, just a poof, really….trying to see what they’re doing. Something…Equestria Project…interested to know…”

That caught Fluttershy’s attention. This must be the server farm where the malware and hacking appearing on the Ponynet was originating from. She had to stop them!

While Mick’s directions were unintelligible, Fluttershy decided that to be sure, she had to take out the most pieces of equipment possible. He might have said something about just the small ones, but surely he wouldn’t be mad if she did more than he asked?

She carefully moved through the maze of whirring machines, eventually finding a staircase that led lower. On the next floor, there was even more equipment, including tall computer banks and associated gear. Mick’s instructions had gone completely silent by this point.

There were large tanks around the room that connected to a network of piping. Fluttershy couldn’t read the foreign labels, but surmised from the pictograms that it contained some sort of coolant, maybe liquid nitrogen. That seemed like something vital to the cooling system.

She dug into her backpack, finding a small device with a magnet on one side and an electronic timer on the other. She pressed the button and it started counting down from three minutes.

Fluttershy quickly affixed it to the main valve of the piping. She looked around, trying to remember which direction she had come in from.

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy’s head whipped around, looking frantically for the stairs. She darted towards the corners of the building, looking for a way off this floor.

Finally finding the stairs, she shot up them and then faced another challenge of picking her way through the field of cooling pumps and condensers. She didn’t know how much time was left when she found the door to the roof, and decided the best course of action was to get airborne, and quickly.

Seconds after her hooves left the roof, there was a small pop as the detonator she’d planted went off. It was immediately followed by a whoosh as all the pressurized coolant was suddenly released. It flooded the computer rooms, shattering rapidly spinning hard drives and icing motherboards.

On the upper floor, the pumps were instantly starved of coolant but hadn’t been able to shut down quickly enough and began to explode in showers of metal fragments.

The sudden loss of load on the building’s electrical grid overpowered the remaining floors and they each blew out their circuit boxes with showers of sparks. The whole building, the data is computers contained, and all associated systems, went dark.

Everywhere in the city, people looked up from their holiday decorations and turned towards the distant explosions, thinking them festive fireworks. It was the perfect atmosphere for the season.

Fluttershy turned to look back at the carnage she’d caused. A smiled played at her lips. “Yay!”

And that's how the NSA saved Christmas.

Comments ( 43 )

Heh, I like this chapter, though, too bad we didn't see anything from the equestrian side this time. :pinkiesmile:

Oh wait, it's complete? Ah, well, not a bad ending.

And that's how the NSA saved Christmas.

Totally lost it there. :rainbowlaugh:

Well that was one of the more interesting fics I've read :rainbowwild:

And that's how the NSA saved Christmas.

*facehoof*

3583495

Yeah, I wanted a resolution on their end. Not sure it would be appropriate, with the six chapters thing and all. It provided a resolution from Equestria's perspective, but a little epilogue for the Mane 6 would have been nice.

and then Spike became a Delta Operator

EXPAND ON THIS. NOW.

3583716 I'm not sure what you mean.

3583805 Play the game and you would know what I am talking about.

Oh my god... it's 00-Shy!!! lol

This almost makes me think you planned this to end in December.

3583839 I plan a lot of things :trollestia:

Everyone knows that the NSA saves Christmas from Chinese hackers. It happens every year.

Moar! Plz some with all of da characters! Like Luna, Derpy, and Discord! (OMG DISCORD LOOOOL) :pinkiecrazy:

Heh heh~

3583839 Indeed.
3583501 So I wasn't the only one

And that's how the NSA saved Christmas.

And there was much rejoicing.

watch out its flutterspy da na

Flutterspy/Flutterspook, why didn't I see this coming?

Because you aren't as clever as you think you are?

*WHAM*

Quiet you! They told me I was a special snowflake in kindergarten!

See this?

This is the face I make when there is insufficient conflict resolution in a story.

This is not a face of happiness.

...What?

...

See: 3584648

I mean honestly, what?

Wait, wait, wait.

Fluttershy shifted a little on her hooves.

Mick looked around and then knelt down to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy gulped and forced her wings to spread.

So basically Flutters was actually in her pony form and none of the Chinese gives a damn?
Is this story set in the Battleship universe or it's just that random?

On a side note: Sam Fisher is proud of her.
(NSA, black suit, night infiltration, you see? :rainbowwild:)

You should make a group for this.
Like how Fallout: Equestria has a group filled with spin-offs.
Or Five Score, Divided By Four having a group with spin-offs (spin-offs were banned afterwards though due to increasing numbers of fiction that lack pony material).
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Wait, just like that? That can't possibly be the ending. You're obviously trolling.

I demand a continuation! The ending seemed so abrupt to be the end I hope theres a sequel or spin offs as I like this. :fluttercry:

Is this really the end?

But, but, but ...

FlutterSpy is best spy

Haha, loved this chapt- wait, who's breathing down my shoulder?
*turns around*
uh, hey Dr Breen. Breen? You okay? You loo-
Hey! What the hell! Get outta my computer!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!
What?
*computer explodes*

3583632
I could totally see this happening :pinkiehappy:
Fund it! :pinkiegasp:

Flutterspy? Ha ha, couldn't get this out of my head the entire time.

th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/293/e/f/flutterspy_by_ncmares-d6r4t6g.jpg

Bonus chapter with Celestia being Fictional US President (or a real one :trollestia:) please.

Poor girl, she can't even get a break from governing in other universes.

*reads chapter*

...The NSA assigned me to work with you as your intoxication specialist.”

I like where this is go-Damn it! I just made a joke about them, now they are the heroes? What?

wait, so this whole story was an elaborate joke where the punchline is the NSA?

And that's how the NSA saved Christmas.

:rainbowlaugh:

While the ending was funny, it didn't tie everything together enough for me. You built up to something larger that never happened. Still, good job.

Ok... What the frick? This whole thing built up, with a couple of plot twists (and flutterspy) ending last chapter with THE CHINESE FREAKING HACKING EQUESTRIA, but yet I stood by you, through the through and through, and you end it like this? This was a marvelous work of art, but then you kinda gave up on it over the past two chapters. Also: Really? A punchline with the NSA saving Christmas?! What about Equestria? What about all of the plot build-up? WHAT ABOUT MY HOPES AND DREAMS? You suck at endings.:applecry:

...I have no idea what just happened, but I think it was awesome.

not my fav ending which means you should totally continue this. this doesn't stop the problem of them changing sides in the dreams. actually im still trying to figure out how Chinese hacking would affect them, it just stops potential future problems.

they must have ALOT of people turned to ponies if literally nobody seems to really care a small talking horse is around. and not just in the US military either. especially one speaking English in a high security Chinese area. didn't even check her backpack.

just think how many other ponies you can write about. Lyra would beg you to if she could.

Badass Twilight is Best Pony:twilightsmile:

I was really hoping for Celestia to be Obama whith having the power of the nuclear brief case. All while having Discord be Putin

Is funny ( no) how the Americans see themselves as the good guys wen they are the bane of peace in the world

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