• Member Since 1st May, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 13th, 2022

godf0006


Comments ( 179 )

D'awwww... Thanks God! :heart:
And I have to say, the story came out really great! :pinkiehappy:

Quite promising, quite promising indeed. :twilightsmile:
Some areas are very well written and detailed, though some are very rushed as well. :applejackunsure:
I also noticed a great amount of spelling errors and such. They appear too frequently in my opinion, but I'll let it go for this time. But only this time.
You have to improve within' this area. :duck:

Regardless, it was a neat little read. :pinkiesmile:

The only thing that is keeping me here is the idea behind the story.

What is really a glaring issue and the reason I haven't read the story yet is because of the title and description.

Filled with errors.

Red marks spelling changes
Green marks grammar changes

Unbound: Secrets

Spike has always been able to use magic, but due to circumstances he had to keep it a secret. However, not everything goes according to plan, especially when a big dragon decides he wants revenge.
Follow Spike as he is pushed to his limit, through lies and secrets, friendship and pain, death and glory.
NOTE: This is just a story that's been bugging me for quite a while, and I have to get it of my chest
or else I won't (<-- Thank god you got that right) be able to focus on anything else. Updates will be made whenever I have the time. I assure you it will not be forgotten. Thank you for taking your time to read this story.
If you're (<-- Fcuking thank Celestia you know the difference between Your and You're and know how to use them.) unsatisfied with the story please leave a comment and tell me why so I can improve, it means a lot

I will not read the story until you fix this shit.

Pro: Alot of good detail and good use of words. Seems original and I might read the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

Con: Spelling errors, seemed like you didn't really take enough time, and a bit redundant with words. I had to reread certain sentances because the spelling made no sense. I'm bad with spelling to, But get your self a proof reader. If you already have one, fire him and laugh at him because he did awful. :ajbemused: I also found myself constantly wanting to stop reading it. Maybe make more suspense,

Not really sure if I would read the next chapter or if I would recomend this. I probably will read chapter two and see where it goes. Don't disappoint me

Interesting.

Also, by any chance, will Spike get shipped with someone? If so, then with who?

So Spike the superhero. Interesting start.

I Loved it :pinkiehappy: I can't wait till the next chapter

1446055>>1446081>>1446107>>1448081

Thank's, all of you, it means very much to know what you think of the story. :scootangel:

1446371

thank you for the advise, it will come in handy for the next chapter's

1446266

I will fix this as soon as possible, thank you.

1446509

i'm still thinking about that.:eeyup:

1448012

yeah, just wait for the next chapter.:scootangel:

1448081

You're awesome:rainbowdetermined2:

1448493 If he does, please let it be Sparity. I really hope it is.

Though that's only if you choose to ship him.

1448631
yeah, trust me it got something to do with Rarity alright.:trixieshiftright:

1448660 Sweet! Already looking forward to it!

1448690
Alright, see you at the next chapter:moustache:

1449083
are you thou not pleased with dine art?:rainbowhuh:

1446371
Hah! I can take the hit for that one. :twilightsheepish:
I'm not really a proof-reader. Just a friend that's tying to help. :derpytongue2:

NOBODY HAS POINTED THIS OUT YET.
THE TITLE. OH GOD, THE PUNCTUATION. THERE IS NO APOSTROPHE WHEN THE SUBJECT IS PLURAL. CHAAAAAAAAAAANGE!!!
Thank you for your consideration.

It was a little wordy about Spikes eyes and a little over dramatic ( I AM BatSpike!) at the end but a good story and worth many many likes. :moustache:
I Really Love the take on the possible Spike Wings. Green Fire = Awesome :twilightsmile:
All in all this story is %100 Spike Approved :moustache:

...the wolf was already right in front of her, ready to finish her off.

Doncha mean get started on her?

Just before the wolf managed to get his claws on her...

Doncha mean teeth?

It has its flaws, and it was a little melodramatic, particularly where you spent a whole paragraph talking about his eyes, but it was pretty fun. Good job.

They were all of those things, ice and fire and rage. Ancient and forever, burning at the center, watching the turn of the universe. Combined with such weariness, guilt, and hate. Yet, they were wonderful.

Do I smell a Doctor Who reference? :trixieshiftright:

1455385
''Yes, yes you do''

''great observation'':scootangel:

Its... good. Rather good... but well. The spelling mistake in the very first sentence is rather off-putting. Its 'prey' not 'pray'

1455385
... Dammit, I should of noticed that!

Absolutly amazing I can tell why you had to get this off your head it's amazing the type of story that could get stuck in your head can't wait to see where this goes it has ultimate promise. Chow Bennet out.

1465044
Well I should of noticed the Doctor Who reference, so I guess we are equal.

You're improving. Tense issues still exist, but this is much better and very readable.

1449262 Ah. Well next time use a proof reading thing that will recognize spelling errors. If you already do then I would suggest updating it cuz it didn't do so great. If all else fails kill it with fire:pinkiecrazy:

1482479
Well I was mostly just trying to spot the errors using my own two eyes and what's left of my brain. It is better now than what it was before I edited it, but if you're only 16 and don't have English as your native language it's a bit hard to see all the errors. :twilightsheepish:
I will start using a proof reading thing as you said. Do you know where I could download one? Nah, don't worry. I could just Google it and see what comes up.
And I do believe he's got his hands on a real proof reader (am I right, godf?) Hopefully you wont see errors like these in the future. :pinkiesmile:

1482543 your computer should come with a type of soft ware that called "Word" or "Notepad". If it does then you could always highlight the story, cope and paste it to the "Word" or "Notepad" and it will underline what is spelled wrong. Of course thats depending on what coputer you have. And i see where your coming from with the whole 16 and english isn't your native language thing. But the software should hopefully help a bit. good luck :twilightsmile:

1482543
no i'm still looking, that's why there is no new chapter yet:twilightangry2:
1482645
i hope you don't mind but i'm going to use your advise too:scootangel:

1482645
Well I do have word, but sometimes there is nothing wrong the the meaning itself, but it sounds really weird in context. Word doesn't care about context.

1483343
Ouch... :fluttershyouch:

1508051
thank you very much, you shared your thought's with me and for that i thank you:moustache:

hey author, would you have an estimate as to when the next chapter will come out?:yay::yay:

1579311
let's see,:rainbowderp: my mom won't let me be:raritydespair:, have to help my sister moving out:raritycry:, school 8 hours a day:flutterrage:, my ''20 min book reading'':yay:, boxing, martial art's self defense, (shooto, judo ect.):rainbowdetermined2:, time for myself(5 hours of sleep:ajsleepy:).

with all of that on my schedule I've decided to cut something's out of my daily life, now seeing my friend's are a true rarity. But i think i can have it done by...... actually i think i can have it sent to my editor by the end of the day if i'm lucky:unsuresweetie:

1580973 wooow... hard life ya have there... here, have a mustache :3:moustache:

1582060
not hard if you get used to it but it's effecting my social life and i'm getting more and more tired everyday, imagine going to school to write reports, schemes, ''Fabler'' (it's a kind of poetry). to go home and start to work on my stories. The original reason i made this was to clear my mind so i could focus on my life.. now if you will excuse me i'm going to school, training is cancelled for the day so i have two hours of free time, in that time i hope i'll be done with the rest of the chapter:pinkiesad2:. (By the way do you know any kind of drug that removes tiredness just in case.... i got money)
XXX Godf0006 :scootangel:

1582100 aha well then, you dont have to reply on this comment :p

also, fabler translates to fables... i know this 'cause i'm a swede.:yay:

I will definetly be tracking this. Looking forward to where this goes!:raritystarry:

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