Spike is taller then he was, and later he asked Twilight to start paying him and having more rights. but she just says he's being ridicolus and runs off to the spa trip that Rarity promised.
Meanwhile Spike, who is filled with rage and anger for Twilight, runs off to Canterlot to stay with the princesses,but he also finds a mare with her son and daughter who are homeless, Spike brings them with him and starts to live in Canterlot. Although Twilight demands that he comes home, he says no.
So I wonder what it'll be like for Spikes new life.
Chapters (2)
Ummm.....
I like the story, but the proofreader did a halfassed job.
Yis your storys really good cant wait for next chapter
Twilight is a raging bitch.
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This is an interesting start. I can definitely see Spike doing this, finally getting fed up with Twilight. I do love that the other three Princesses care for Spike deeply, as well as the implication that Canterlot is his original home.
Since I can see that the main character are Spike, Princesses Celestia and Luna, as well as a OC (the mare that just recently became homeless), I am waiting for more.
In a little bit of a tangential sense, this beginning reminds me of a similar story "Spike's journey", specifically the time when he was in Canterlot. As well as seeing the Princesses once again, I wonder if his hidden talents come to the forefront, and that he meets with some of the Canterlot Elite, like Fancy Pants and Hoity Toity. Hey, how about eventually he becomes a member of the Canterlot Elite himself? And while all those events happen, back in Ponyville, the mane 6 confront Twilight on Spike's disappearance. I expect that if could be split, which some agree with Spike and the others just think Spike is just being a baby.
I graciously and greedily await for MOAR!!!!!!
Aww! Spike is being so nice! It adorable... :3
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Except for a few spelling and grammar mistakes, this was fairly enjoyable.
The only other issue is explaining why Spike wandered down the alleyway. Shortcut? Maybe he way carrying something and it rolled into the alley?
As for the rest of the story. I'm kinda of a huge fan of those fics where a character has a terrible job, a lousy boss and just quits.
I curious to see where you go with this and see the interaction between Spike and the family of three. I hope you update soon.
Well Twilight just took Celestia's spot on my Bitchs to kill list and dude stash bomb
KA-BOOOMMMMM stash stashes every were for this story CLAPING
3022252 Hey, I did a nice job!
Before, there wasn't much to work with, but I helped churn this out. If you don't like go find some other editor to bother. I have better things to do than to listen to you say I did a half-ass job.
Like everyone else said, there are spelling errors. But this still got a good review so I look forward to the next chapter to edit. My advice, find more proofreaders. Having only one will make this hard to correct. More eyes can help spot more errors and make the story more beautiful.
MOAR it's sooo goooddd
I like it. Fast, but original.
Im hoping we get a letter from twilight later saying how she is begging him to come home because she cant do anything on her own.
MOAR NOWS
MOAR!
spikes only reaction shoulda been: Twilight, Twilight, Twilight... F*** you then.....
I have to read more
3025112 I believe that she would probably have trouble going to the bathroom if spike wasn't there to wipe her ass.
!
This story is to good to be left on hiatus or cancelled
!
I am really interested in this story. It has caught my attention and can't wait to see where it goes. I am dying to see Twi come there trying to demand him back and he just goes off on her. I mean there is only like a 4 year difference between them and she think she can boss him around. Celestia is his mother not her. Paint better watch out, with all the charm Spike has and talent she will fall for him very quickly. We all know he is quick to compliment a mare if he think she is cute lol. I hope this is a sign the story is alive again and we wont have to wait so long for updates. Keep up the great work and I will always be here to read your work.
So we mite have some Spike x Celestia, or Celestia wanting to be Spikes mom going on. Awesome! Loving this story.
4514856 I am with you ether way. I can see Celestia falling for Spike as well. She is one of the only people to see how mature he is and I know she can see what a great dragon he is. I am sure she could sweep the Sun Goddess off her hoofs.
Oh, yeaaah! A new chapter finally! Oh, I see some dislikes, but this is beacause from your much time for writte, no? Well, it's good that this continue.
Good to see you back. Though I wonder how long it will take for Twilight to notice that he's gone and try to get him back. I do look forward to see how the romance between Paint and Spike bloom.
Nice job. You caught me with this story and I will see forward to more chapters^^
4515142
Can't wait to see more, great job!
I cant wait to see what happens next.
I want more bring me more please please please I am begging I love this story
More ?
Lack of pony terms and grammar aside, I like the overall idea, even if there were times that you failed to clearly convoy character emotions.
Saddened to see it practically die though...
I shall read once another chapter is added.
Counting the points brought up by thewaffler there are twenty one things the two of us found. I am not counting the spots where I thought the wording was awkward, those could be differences of opinion. this might not be a halfassed job as TheDerpyOutcast said but it certainly rates as slap dash.
book.After the Changeling [ needs space ]
but no, intact the work increased [ in fact ]
She though all he was interested in [ thought ]
Twilight would ether get jealous [either]
My choir list consists [ chore ]
he pulled out the choir list [chore ]
I've ( ) never given a day off! [ been]
Braeburn's going out with a buffalo!" He said angry. [ angrily ]
your probably made for some slacking you did. [ mad]
his teeth were starting to Hirt itself [ hurt themselves ]
causing the floors being covered in books [causing the floor to be covered ] ???
then he burped up the response from Celestia [ the next lines are the letter he sent to Celestia]
we now come to the spots pointed out by thewaffler
then this one "You now the princess Mr.Spike [know] [ space needed]
HOW DARE YOU PUT THIS ON HOLD!
5633695 when did i say I was putting this on hold?
5633760 well, the fact that u haven't updated it for almost a year suggests that...
5633781 I do plan on updating this, but I've got other stories, life issues and a limited time I can write. I'm still thinking of ways to continue for the next chapter but I will update it.
Yeah, great behaviour from the country's hero. Especially to her supposed longest time friend.
I have to say that considering who he is, I really don't think Spike would swear so openly.
How much longer before the next one?
Interesting premise, however, I'll hold off until one or two more chapters appear.
Well, the story is quite interesting.
But the grammar, I have to say, is rather bad. I had to reread lots of sentences to understand what they meant. Do you perhaps have an editor, or even a proofreader? They definitely come in handy and could make your story more likeable for others.
If you do have one already, fire him/her and find a new one please. I'll keep reading since there is only one more chapter left. Hope it's not as bad though...
Well, the story is good. Has a lot of promise. But I'm kinda bothered about the fact that nothing really started with the two chapters that were given and this story has been out for over a year and a half. Plus, since it's been out, you didnt even go back and re-edit the two small chapters you have to make them more readable and fluent.
I feel like this won't continue. But I don't want to give up on this idea. So, I would like you to know that I'm considering making a story similar to this, but different enough that I wouldn't be taking anything from your story.
I wanted to let you know so you won't think I'll be trying to take your material.
Very promising. I like this a lot. Wonder what will happen later on. Keep it up.
love to see more of the story! :)
When are you going to continue!?
Any day now man.
How's the update coming