• Member Since 12th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 21st, 2017

Simon_oSullivan


Brony, Whovian, gamer, writer, reviewer, riffer, have a beard... I guess that's pretty much it.

Sequels1

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Drakkar, a pony from the Frozen North, is sent to Equestria to update the maps they have in Scandineighvia. Once he arrives to Ponyville, though, he finds out that there's a descendant of one of his townfolks living there.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 89 )

MOAR :flutterrage:

<3

I said it before, and I'll say it again-I love this story so far!

Nice story... Greetings from Norway!

Ok, time to fav this:rainbowkiss: and me like this:pinkiehappy: :flutterrage:MOAR

Luz

GIVE ME MOAR! :pinkiecrazy:

Dammit, you. So close, Dakkar, so close...

When they were interrupted I was like "Oh come on!":flutterrage:

Well, that was an awesome chapter! Wrapped up a few plot points as well. I'm liking how you're playing the romance part too. CARRY ON! MOAR!

Mjǫllna nodded profusely. “Yes, she’s staying at Fluttershy’s. He’ll surely be playing with the wild boar friend he’s made.”

People from up North are all so strange, always changin' genders and playin' with boars.

Nice:eeyup: and what is that in English I wonder:rainbowderp:

Yay updates!

Dat chapter.

Making Norse Mythology adorable.


You have become another reason I love this fandom :twilightsmile:

D'awww. Mjollna wants to get her freak on, mmhmm.

Required site during reading http://translate.google.com/#is/en/
Good chapter.

1971856

:twilightoops:That’s one of the mistakes that autocorrect never fixes. Having a 100 to 1 female-male ratio, it’s common for me to misplace pronouns like that. Fixed.

1974457>>1972151

A very good idea indeed. The Old Norse I use is Western Norse, which gave us Old Icelandic. However, despite being a useful guide, it’s not foolproof, as there are words here and there that had changed from the Old Icelandic to the one it’s spoken nowadays. To make things easier (thought not better maybe), I used that Author's Notes thingie to put the translated lines. Due to the reviewer saying that I was able to make the conversation understandable despite the language being unknown, I thought it would be unnecessary. But anyways, the translated lines (and poem) are there for you to read if you were curious about them.:moustache:

1973698

Yup, after what we talked, I did some extra pondering, and I considered that, due to the Norse era courtships, a more passionate approach would fit them. Glad to know that it worked :yay:

1973047

Glad to hear. I'm working on two stories at the same time, but I'll try to get these one going. Expect more Norse culture madness from time to time.

Sandy? Wat are you doing here? Get back on tumblr!

Outstanding my friend

2207119 is saying the right thing.

I like how this story fells distinctively unique compared to almost every other romance on the site.
The characters and 'the good vibe' of the story makes me happy every time I see it in my inbox.

Yay, an update!

I really love the way you've written Luna, Shining and Drakkar in this chapter. The bear riding was also a nice touch! :pinkiecrazy:

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. This is such a unique, well-written story! :yay:

Norse Mythology + Ponies? Sir you have made my day. Favorited :pinkiehappy:

You are incredibly good at telling stories, both through drakkar and in this story itsself

great story and chapter! keep up the good work

1401944 I agree completely with the gif up there.

2207859 I agree wholeheartedly with this statement.

I only wish you will be faster with updates my dear author!

I loved that drinking game, I should try that sometimes if I figure if Im good at poem at all

I wanted to say, that The Lovers' Edda made into my ever-expanding list of favorite/good fanfics, hopefully bring in one or two extra readers to this.

-Morfonious

:rainbowderp:Wow, we held our spot in the feature box much longer than the last time. I wonder who downvoted it and why they did; I love discussing possible issues with my stories. Now, comment replying.

2207161
Thanks. :pinkiehappy:I usually have exotic ideas, which apparently work well when readers give them a chance. Most of my stories, due to me being fairly unknown and with unusual premises/crossovers/shippings, barely get noticed. I'm glad to see, however, that thinking out of the box gets its reward.

2210984
I also wish I could be able to throw chapters here more often. However, college and work make it hard to get myself inspired to write, and sometimes I prefer gaming, spending a free evening either playing Disgaea, Patapon or whatever floats my boat that day. Aside from that, forcing myself to follow deadlines works poorly. For me, this is still both a hobby and a means of evasion. I've grown attached to this story as I've written it, becoming my pride and joy even above Ponies of the Five Rings, the story with which I began in the fandom. I'm already working on a few scenes for the next chapter, at least some drafts.:twilightsheepish:

I read this in one breath.You deserve A LOT more likes here! :pinkiehappy:

This is great, if he would be bragonborn it would be just pure epic.

Keep e'm coming, keep doing what you do and keep being awesome!

I so want to hurt her mother in some horrible way now:twilightangry2:

I am eager to see the end of this conflict... And yes I do share the same feelings and wildstallion in that wanting to make her mother redeem herself.

Ouch, her mother should learn to not meddle in their affairs because her relationship didnt work out and even I can see Beamie LOVED her and his daughter but he left because he thought he couldn't be good father or take care of them that well. Sometimes love hurts.

I'm bracing for next chapter when her mother gets the talk that she deserves.

Hurry up my dear author!

2358889 Redeem herself and would be crazy (but out of place) if Beamie returned hmmm

Alright...This chapter was amazing.
I seriously want to punch her mother square in the jaw. :pinkiecrazy:

This is gonna be interesting.

2360479
I say let drakkar go 10 rounds with the mother. and even if she's knocked out he can still keep going. it only ends when all 10 rounds time out.:pinkiecrazy:

It's a thoroughly pleasing story, and one that has strengths in several areas, instead of just one. There's the educational bent, which for anyone with even a passing interest will find thouroughly rewarding. Then there's the more story related 'fish out of water' plot element we have here, but one that is done more skillfully than many. Yes, the mane six are involved and relevant, but they don't stifle the characters or steal the show. Likewise for the CMC, and the bit with the wrestling was a cute touch. I had to imagine the fillies standing a fair bit slack jawed when they came to it.

Mjollna is an interesting character, particularily in that she knows what she wants and is going for it, and quite briskly at that. Usually in this sort of case the ship is the two shippees humming and hawing and twiddling their non-existent thumbs about taking the plunge. Here there's none of that - she knows what she wants, and she's not afraid to say it loud and proud. If anything, it's Drakkar who's a bit slower on the uptake of the two (typical male.)

Rarity and Fluttershy are used to good effect. Being the most socially savvy of the lot, I'd full expect Rarity, being as it twere attuned to this society's idiosync..thingies that she'd inadvertently make the greatest number and most dire of faux pas when regarding someone from a differing one.

There are times where the telling is a bit threadbare and noticeable, but never dangerously so. Likewise with the Norse education thing you got going on - I find myself quite liking the faux-asides to explain some tidbit of inquiry about their circumstances and lifestyles, and so far you've done very good at keeping such pieces tied into the moment and relevent.

The Hearth Fire situation is one that bodes poorly for Mjollna, but well for the reader. I'm interested in seeing how that conflict develops, particulary once she's had a chance to meet the 'savage' for herself, and whether her bias is reaffirmed or undermined by what she sees there.

I like this story. Keep it up, but update faster:duck:

Since you asked me nicely, I'll give it a read. I will probably review what is currently up on a chapter by chapter basis due to time constraints I have right now.

Didn't think I'd ever see a fanfic with Old Norse on here. :rainbowderp:

"Máttr jafnvægi hrind!"

An unrelenting force blast flung the úlfsvetir away and scattered them across the battlefield.

I see what you did there :ajsmug:

Been waiting for this to update. And it was worth it; I love this story, all of it :yay::pinkiehappy:

AWESOME CHAPTER; is all I could say at this moment.

Would Heath Fire able to see her husband ever again? I can't feel now but think that she should deserve her own happy ending that now her daughter got one.

Get back at me on this :D (hopefully)

Okay, I'll be honest with you: I am severely underwhelmed.

I expected an interesting piece of character-on-character drama with a streak of adventure and some worldbuilding concerning Scandineighvia. What I got was... I know this sounds harsh, but so far it's another one of those bland "OC comes to Ponyville and meets the Mane Six" stories, except buried under a ton of exposition.

Everything just goes too smoothly, too quickly. He has an easy time making friends with everypony - hell, he's even got a mare who's flirting with him (and laying it on thick, too) after talking to him for perhaps a few minutes. That way lie Marty Stus.

And like I said, I expected some worldbuilding concerning Scandineighvia, and I was interested in what you had fleshed out. But you're overdoing it massively. 'Drakkar always loved talking about everything concerning his homeland' is an understatement: he jumps at every chance he gets to explain some quirk of Scandineighvian language or culture. Hence most of the text consists of exposition, which does a poor job of covering up the lack of anything interesting going on in the story itself. The fact that they're not actually in Scandineighvia and seeing it "in action", but merely talking about it, also brings Show Don't Tell into play. You probably didn't intend it this way, but it really comes across as you saying 'Look, I know all this cool stuff about the ancient Norsemen and their language, isn't it cool?' Repeatedly. Through a megaphone.

So, to sum up: 1) there's no interesting characterisation whatsoever, 2) everything goes much too easily for Drakkar, making him a borderline Marty Stu and robbing the story of any drama or conflict, and 3) there's just too much exposition.

No, I haven't read the whole thing, but I've read the first two chapters, which together amount to more than 10,000 words. I'd say I've given this story a fair chance, and it failed to deliver. This is going off my Read Later list.

2646464

All those are fair an interesting points. Let me stand for my story.

it's another one of those bland "OC comes to Ponyville and meets the Mane Six" stories, except buried under a ton of exposition.

That's because the first part it's true. Half true at least. The story isn't only about the main character arriving, meeting the girl and leaving with her to live happily ever after. It also shows how Drakkar tries to adapt to a totally different culture, which is a side-plot by itself. The Main Six are basically used because they're the best known character and they've shown to be trustful with foreigners (at least since the Zecora incident.) I chose Fluttershy instead of the usual Pinkie Pie because it would be interesting to see the clashing of their personalities and interests.

So, yes, "OC goes to Ponyville" is a trope seen in quite a lot of stories, and this is one of them. There's much more in it, though, but that's just my opinion as the author.

He has an easy time making friends with everypony - hell, he's even got a mare who's flirting with him (and laying it on thick, too) after talking to him for perhaps a few minutes. That way lie Marty Stus.

I never mentioned that he made friends with basically everyone. Fluttershy has shown hospitality to Discord himself, so she as much as tolerates his presence for now, and only after swearing that he won't hurt any of her animals. And remember when Fluttershy went batshit crazy, screaming at him when he thought he was hitting the young wild boar.

As I said, Equestria has shown to be quite friendly, and as long as the newcomers don't act in a hostile way, they' get accepted easily. However, I consider that Drakkar, at the point where you stopped reading, was mostly acquaintances with the characters she met so far, save for Mjollna.

And THAT is one of the points you threw here too, and one I'll explain as well. Mjollna finds something in Drakkar that didn't find in any other other stallion in Ponyville: He is both exotic and familiar, being from her ancestor's hometown. She's interested in him for who he is, and wants to know about Scandineighvia, and about him indirectly. She doesn't fall for him for nothing, i.e, just because he exists, but because of curiosity that slowly turns into interest not only for Scandineighvia, but for him. It's rare to see a woman in this role, when it's mostly the man who takes the step forward in a relationship, but I DO like the idea of a woman who shows interest and is willing to fight for what she wants; being a life time achievement or a love interest.

And like I said, I expected some worldbuilding concerning Scandineighvia, and I was interested in what you had fleshed out

I do have a lot of things about Scandineighvia and Fimbulvetr, but you can't expect me to put everything in the first chapter; that's an info dump. It's shown through the whole story, little by little. The fic is actually, as some readers have pointed out, very educational, and I consider that, while sometimes a bit heavy, it's still relevant to the point of the story.

Drakkar always loved talking about everything concerning his homeland' is an understatement: he jumps at every chance he gets to explain some quirk of Scandineighvian language or culture. Hence most of the text consists of exposition, which does a poor job of covering up the lack of anything interesting going on in the story itself.

He's very proud of his heritage, yes. However, about that "jumping at every chance", there's also a reason behind it. Despite being able to speak Equestrian with certain fluency, he still doesn't know much about Equestrian culture (the reason being explained; previous hoofcarls simply updated the maps, so little to nothing about Equestria is known beyond that) and Drakkar is mostly thrilled about it, and compares it with his hometown. Which, for ponies who have no idea about a kingdom beyond the Crystal Empire, is an interesting conversation.

It's also "Slice of Life", so it has "non-action" parts. I would've tagged it as Adventure if it didn't.

You probably didn't intend it this way, but it really comes across as you saying 'Look, I know all this cool stuff about the ancient Norsemen and their language, isn't it cool?'

When you spend more time doing research and skimming through debunked Norse culture and traits than actually writing the story to make a honest portrayal of a ponified Norse kingdom, and take the time to learn a dead language just for the sake of said story, you really want to brag about it :eeyup:.

Jokes aside, it's all part of his hometown, which he mentions when he's asked, taking great pride in it. I also take prie on my hard work and hours of research to make this as accurate as possible, though I took artistic licenses here and there because ponies are a bit more accepting, so some things aren't as accurate as they should.

So, to sum up: 1) there's no interesting characterisation whatsoever, 2) everything goes much too easily for Drakkar, making him a borderline Marty Stu and robbing the story of any drama or conflict, and 3) there's just too much exposition.

1) Though Drakkar is the main character and one of the two lovers in the story, there's much more revolving around it as I previously mention (the part of him adapting to a different culture and learning about it)

2) While I agree that not everything in the story is a Herculean task for Drakkar; I already proved my points a few paragraphs before this one. If you consider then valid points or not is up to you to decide.

3) You mentioned you wanted to see about Scandineighvia, so this comment about excessive exposition, when it's about what you wanted to see, it's a bit odd. But as I said, exposition comes when they ask him.

In a nutshell, it's nice to see that you gave the story a chance, and took the time to give me reasons why you didn't like it. We part ways here. Far þú vel.

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