This story is a sequel to The Ponies who Played with Fire
Warning: Some comments may contain spoilers
After being injured during the events of The Ponies who Played with Fire, a now-captive Discord is awaiting trial for murder, while Fluttershy and her small band of allies are facing possible enemies on every side in their desperate struggle both to clear Discord's name and avoid their own capture.
AU Fluttercord set eleven years after the first three seasons minus the Discord episodes. Inspired by Discord and Fluttershy's relationship both in the show and several fanfics (*cough* Bride of Discord *cough*) Based loosely on the plot from "The Girl who Kicked the Hornets' Nest" by Stieg Larsson. Rated T for some plot-related Murder Mystery Elements.
Edited by Nightwalker
Constructive Criticism is welcome.
Cover art belongs to me so please do not take without permission. Thank you.
Alright, great first chapter! Very tense and dripping with atmosphere! Great to be back in this story!
Yes! New chapter! I love it!
OMG, it's finally here!:D Squeee like Rarity!
LolXD Oh boy, where do I begin? Um, let's see....let's start with...noooo! Just when I thought Fluttershy could accompany Discord to the hospital, no that sweet Fluttercord is taken away from meX'0! Haha lol but it's okay though, I know that they will be reunited either soon or eventually;) Especially since we have our certain good ole paper parrot on Discord's trial on Flutters^^ Good birdie^^ Lol! Oh man, I wasn't prepared for the action and fighting to start so soon when that changeling attack at the cottage occurred:0 Welp, that was quick0-0 Lol;) Le gasp, how dare you ponies drug Discord?!:0 Lol;) XD
Also, this quote:
This quote is TOTALLY making Celestia and Luna very suspicious to me;) And as soon as I say that, Celestia and Luna in this story are like in my presence:
Haha lolXD
Yay we get to go back to the Tree HAB^^!
Good job on the first chapter Sharkie:) <3!
Loved the start, but poor Discord!
I don’t know how to feel about the princesses: are they a red herring? Are we supposed to think they’re acting very suspicious? I think that’s what’s good about these kinds of stories. That tense mistrust of everyone because you don’t know if they are actually who they appear to be.
Can’t wait to see how this final instalment goes
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Thank you and thank you.
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*sighs wistfully and shakes head* Oh, if it were only that simple.
*Chuckles* Well, in their defense, he'd probably be in a lot of physical pain right now if they hadn't.
Also nice clip for Celestia and Luna. *Snickers*
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*grins slyly* Possibly.
*Grins* Good to know since that's what I was going for, both for you readers, and for the characters actually in the story, experiencing it.
Thanks all of you for your comments. I'm currently hard at work on the next chapter and will have it up as soon as reasonably possible.
So in the first book, Discord and Fluttershy are together practically all the time, and we are happily bombarded with a thousand adorable moments between the two, even though a lot of them are also tragic.
The second book is a complete contrast, where they aren't together a lot and when they are, there's just angst all over the place.
So what's gonna go on with this third one, huh? Because so far, it ain't looking so good.
Which makes me sad, 'cause like... you know... I DON'T LIKE FEELING MY HEART RIP IN TWO BECAUSE MY OTP CAN'T SEEM TO FIND THEIR HAPPY PLACE! (And yet, the angst hurts so good...)
Hopefully Mache Max and Discord's tattoos will help those two out a bit... Though by the cover of the story, it seems that the two will eventually be doing some interrogation together. But by the looks of those chains on Discord, he won't be absolved from his crimes before then. Hmm...
Anyways...
Aah, Twilight, you clever ol' girl you! (Even though she's supposed to be younger than some of her friends, I believe.) I like the added touch of an invisibility spell where you have to stay very still or it wears off. It actually works well with the whole theory of camouflage/invisibility, too. After all, I chameleon changes colors to fit in with the background, but it works best if it doesn't move too, so predators don't catch the colors moving.
TO THE TREEHAB!
Now, a little nitpick from me. And again, this nitpick credits you as an excellent author in the long run, I'd say. I beg you to be careful with exclamation points. You tend to use them when something is supposed to surprise the reader in your stories (i.e., "Then a pony appeared right behind her!"). But the truth is, you're very good with suspense and catching the audience off-guard. You really don't need those exclamation points. Rather, choose your words in a way that indicates something surprising or suspenseful, so we can... Hmm, how do I put this? So we can feel the exclamation points ourselves, rather than having to see them. Let us react to your words and not the punctuation. I'm not sure if I'm being clear with this. It's similar to a piece of advice I used to get about my writing--"show, don't tell". It's almost like it lessens the dramatic tone to it. It does it my opinion, anyway. It gives it more of a comic book flair than a serious, dangerous situation where we aren't sure if the hero will prevail or not.
I don't know why I never brought this up before, but it's to my attention now. And please note that this is a tiny, tiiiiiiiiiny nitpick. You can keep writing the way you have been and it will not change my enjoyment of the story in the least. However, I do think that sometimes, the exclamation points take away the... the seriousness of the situation. Does that even make sense? Like I said, the comic book thing. Whoosh! Bam! Pow! Scenes like that are usually when the hero is beating the baddie up and the reader is just having a good time watching the hero win. Not when the protagonist is about to be walloped in the head with a tree branch and the poor thing's had a terrible day already.
(You can tell I've been rereading the first book, can't you?)
However, there ARE times when it is totally appropriate, to me. Especially when it comes to Discord. Such as in this scene, from this chapter:
Those exclamation points are perfect! They are nods towards Discord's tendency to easily offended and to overdo things. It matches the mood, and even gives us a little bit of comedic relief (it does for me, at least).
Anyways, a great opening to what will most surely be another great book of your fanfic series. (And obviously the last.) It flowed nicely from the last book, too. I look forward to hearing about what happened with Dinky.
But I look forward the most to seeing how all of this wraps up, and how our characters will prevail through it all (because I'm hoping they do).
One last thing... You mentioned it in Book 2, I believe, when you implied that now Fluttershy won't be the one to 'kick the hornet's nest' because she lost her wings. That we have three possibilities left.
Listen, my good buddy, my dear friend, my fellow writer... You can't fool me. You be a sneaky, sneaky little writer. That's what you are. A sneaky, tricky little trickster who makes the reader think it's gonna play out one way, and then BAM. It all goes astray.
For all I know, this Pegasus could end up being Discord in a Pegasus disguise. It could be a paper mache Pegasus. It could be Fluttershy because she's a Pegasus at heart and the lack of wings mean nothing. Heck, it could even be RAINBOW DASH BECAUSE MAYBE SHE'S NOT DEAD AFTER ALL!!!!!!!!!!
All I'm saying is... I'm watching you, my sneaky friend. Watching you...
What a great start!
I love how high the stakes keep rising, and are already fairly high at only the first chapter (of the third story, but I digress!). Now that our beloved characters have nowhere else to go except Skywishes's place, there's this sense of dread. Like "Nowhere is safe, not even our own homes or our town." And these changelings are tough, which makes it all the more worrisome since characters like Fluttershy aren't exactly fighters. Although if we end up seeing Fluttershy smacking around a changeling with, say, a bat, hey, that'd be some damn good development there.
And uuugh, youuuu! YOU! Watching Fluttershy and Discord actually being pulled away from each other hurt my soul. He just wants to see her, dammit!! The thing is, it's actually a nice parallel to the previous book, where Discord was actively trying to avoid her for the most part, and Fluttershy had no idea he was around for a decent chunk of it—and once she did know, he kept pushing her away every chance they got close. Hopefully, our beloved idiots will get their time in the sun. There will be angst, but hey, who doesn't love some good old, angsty fanfiction?
I'm sooo looking forward to how this whole thing will turn out. One last book to go, so excited!!
Amazing! Absolutely amazing!! I love how tense this chapter was and I'm so glad we got a little insight on how the Changlings know where they're always hiding. I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!
OoooooOoOo I can’t wait for the newest chapter! I binged this story last night and boy oh boy was I sad over not reading this sooner! I’m really excited to see where your goin with this
Best of luck!
Alright, this book must fill my deprived Fluttercord fuel, I'm still trying to get over the ending.
You better still be writing this, my dude.
I'm too sucked into the plot to lose it now
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Oh, no worries there. I actually just sent the next chapter to my editor, so depending on how long the editing takes it could be posted as early as sometime next week.
First I want to thank all of you both for your comments and your patience. I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting so long, but I'm happy to report that I've completed Chapter 2 (it ended up being a long clunker) and sent it to my editor. Depending on how much editing I have to do, the chapter could be up as soon as some time next week.
Warning to my fellow Fluttercord shippers: Unfortunately Chapter 2 will be a bit sparse on Fluttercord moments, but it does have some important plot points that will help lead up to those moments.
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Thank you. *Chuckles* Can't make it too easy for our heroes, can we?
Also thanks for the nitpick/writing tip on not overdoing the exclamation points. I'll keep it in mind with my future writing.
*Laughs and shakes head* I'm glad it did. For some reason the idea of a guy like Discord feeling "scandalized" at anything just cracks me up.
*Chuckles* Oh, dear. You're onto me. (Or to quote a certain character in the upcoming chapter: "Rats, you catch on quick.") ;)
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*Chuckles* I don't know if she'll necessarily be going that route, but she will definitely be playing an important role in things that can't really be filled by any of the more ... shall we say, aggressive characters.
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*Chuckles* You gotta love those chatty changelings. (And the chatty doctors for that matter.)
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Thank you and thank you, for your comments, and no worries. I've been a bit busy with real-life commitments the past several weeks, but I will never quit on this story and will do my best to update as soon as I can. (Which could be sometime next week, once my editor gets his suggestions back to me.
Wohoo! Chapter 2 is here!:D Happy Day^^ This calls for a happy dance;)
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Alrighty, enough of Missy's silliness, onto the important part which is the review!
While we didn't get any Fluttercord in this chapter, but we still got some good stuff in the form of some Apps x Screwy shipping;) Yay our favorite B couple besides High x Ray are back^^ <3! And all that I can say is... Screwy is just as persistent and stubborn as Pepe Le Pew is, huh?;) And I think Apps can see this too, if Pepe Le Pew possibly exists in this universe or some pony version of it anywayXD ;) Lol!
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Although, unlike Pepe, Screwy definitely knows that his sweet heart is not interested in him. Or at least, not yet anyway;) Although, it does make you wonder if Pepe does know that Penelope is not interested in Pepe but has same mind set of Screwy's and insists that Penelope the cat is just not interested in him yet. Hmm, the world may never know;)
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Anywho, back to this wonderful story^^! I just love how epic and action pack Rarity was in this chapter:D Yes Rarity, this is why I love you <3! You can be a real action hero when you want to be;)! Lol!
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Oh wow, what a great way to reference back to the episode where Rarity and Pinkie powered a push cart all by themselves back to Ponyville by having Rarity remember this experience and use this experience to save their lives!:D But aww, poor Rarity:( She barely has any time to process that her beloved friends, Pinkie and Rainbow, are gone:( I have a feeling that once our heroes have some actual time to rest, I can sense that Rarity will have a proper break down and mourn the deaths of her two friends.
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Ah!:0 More mysteries!:0 Stop it Sharkie, now I need to make up more conspiracies and theories for my little conspiracy corner;) Lol;)!
Great overall chapter Sharkie, I can't wait to see what happens next like what's going on with Discord right now, what's going on with Apple Bloom right now, and with Scootaloo & Tank & Apple Bloom & now Gummy now, who knows what will happen next;) :D <3 Keep being awesome Sharkie^^
Absolutely so excited for chapter 3!!
Pretty bleak ending to the chapter.
I do have to say though that I kind of like what’s going on with Screwjob and Applejack. I don’t know if you are planning on having them get together eventually but I do like how they interact with each other. And it’s good that Applejack has finally been involved again as well as Rarity.
Loved this and can’t wait for the next.
Man now I'm even more anxious for the next chapter! What will happen to Applebloom? Will she realize those ponies are her friends? Will she somehow find Scootaloo? What about Princess Celestia? Did she...maybe got killed? Especially with how the letters are being sent to Twilight. Or maybe she's captured and stipped of her magic? Also what about Discord! I've been so curious what might've been going on with him since the alarms went off. Man you really got me pumped!!!
Also I'd like to say I love the little hints of Apps x Screwy. It's absolutely adorable & comical and I hope you'll get the chance to keep working on their relationship too as the story moves along.
Amazing chapter as always & I can't wait for the next one!
AND THE PLOT THICKENS!
I ship AJ X Screwjob now. Their banter is just too perfect for me not to. And I feel like AJ would be attracted to sass and endurance.
But Shark, much as I love you and your works, if you killed Sweetie Belle too, I may have to give you a mad emoji. Thaaaaat's right. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF, SHARKIE OL' PAL.
At first I was shocked that Rarity didn't really seem to break down and hearing that two of her friends died (OR DID THEY????), but obviously she's in shock. But I liked the subtle way you had her mention Pinkie on the pushcart. It's definitely on her mind. She just can't focus on it yet.
Skywishes and Maud really need to hang out sometime. I feel like Maud would like that TreeHAB. She isn't into wood like her bf but I feel like she'd appreciate it nonetheless.
Shoot, I forgot about Scoots and Tank!
...HOW MANY PONIES HAVE YOU POSSIBLY KILLED, SHARKIE???
GET READY FOR SOME MAD EMOJIS, MY FRIEND! THEY'RE COMIN' FOR YA!
Anyways, again, another great chapter. You always keep us on the edge of our seats. You don't need fluttercord in every chapter to make this story worth it, trust me.
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*Snickers* Maybe.
And don't worry about the typos, I plan to go through this story and the earlier two to catch the typos I missed as well as fix a few other goofs. (IE Screwjob is described as having dark hair that's almost black whereas later on it upgrades to straight-up black. Not a huge inconsistency but it bugs me.)
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*Chuckles* Hello again, my favorite Koi Fish Pony reviewer. To be honest, I was a bit nervous about this chapter because in a lot of ways it felt like a repeat of my experience writing Chapter 8 in TPwPwF. Translation: It's long, it took quite a while to write, it had no Fluttercord, and my wrestling boys spend a good chunk of it earning their keep.
*Chuckles* Yes, that he is.
*Chuckles* True again. Despite all his claims to the contrary, Screwjob's got a shrewd brain in that handsome head of his.
Personally I think Pepe is so infatuated with Penelope that it never occurred to him that she doesn't feel the same way. (*Chuckles* At least not on camera. I think I've told you about my behind-the-scenes headcanon of the Looney Tunes as actors, where Pepe and Penelope have been married since before their first cartoon debuted, but Chuck Jones felt the cartoons would be funnier if they weren't portrayed as a couple.)
*Chuckles* You can thank Nightwalker for a good chunk of that as he gave me a ton of help with expanding on Rarity's part in that particular scene.
Why thank you. I did like coming up with that idea. (*Chuckles* Partly because it helped me get around the dilemma of sneaking them on the train.)
Hmm, we'll see. Though without giving too much away, I can tell you Rarity is going to be playing an important (if somewhat challenging to write) part in things to come.
*Chuckles* Well, on the bright side at least you now know where that mystery equine ended up. (And we'll be getting more answers regarding exactly who and what she is soon enough.)
Aww thanks. That's sweet of you to say.
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Yay! *Pumps fists gleefully* While Fluttercord was, and still is my favorite MLP (and one could argue I'm technically cheating considering Screwjob is an OC), I had a ton of fun letting Applejack and Screwjob bounce off each other in this chapter, so I'm glad to hear you all enjoyed reading it as well. And yes, I definitely plan to give them more moments as the story goes on.
Thank you all for your reviews and I will keep you updated when I have the next chapter ready.
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Haha lol did they earn their keep?;) LolXD But seriously, I feel you when it comes to writing non Fluttercord centered chapters because I'm the same wayXD
Haha lol trueXD
Haha lol even more trueXD Oh I remember you telling me this awhile back and I still love it^^
Oh, in that case, thanks Nightwalker^^
Yeeesssss:3 More development and an important role given to my second favorite pony:3 <3 Yeesssss <3
OMG, why didn't I make that connection?!:0 It's sooo obvious, man my conspiracy hat was not on when reading this chapter
Yes! Victory for Sharkie and their awesome writing abilities!:D Yeeesss:3 Come join us shippers, come and join us in shipping Screwjob x Applejack:3 Mwhaha!>:D
I always worry about such loooong chapters, because it's possible to get distracted or bored because of how many words are in one single chapter. Yet I went through that entire thing. It was a great and active chapter, with tons going on but all well spaced out. I really enjoyed the action that went down—very exciting and well written (I can never ever do action scenes so lol good on ya)!
Gosh, Applejack and Screwjob have such great chemistry and hilarious back and forths. I can just... see Applejack gritting her teeth while Screwjob has this giant grin on his face. Such fun and witty dialogue between the two of them. (whispers) pst I totes ship it.
Umm, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo better be okay or I'll be throwing fists around (not at you, I promise. Those changelings have it coming)?! Just saying.
That ending though. It's-it's fine. It'll be fine, guys. Don't worry.
But everything will be fine... eventually. One day. After a load of fighting, conflict, and probably some good ol' angst thrown in there, too. Until then, fantastic chapter as per usual. Looking forward to the next update. :)
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Hey everyone. First I want to say thanks again for your comments. Second, MLP G4 may be over but that doesn't mean I'm abandoning this story. No sir, I have every intention of finishing it. (*Gets pensive* Actually considering I wrote most of The Draconequus with the Dragon Tattoo in that dead time between Season 4 and Season 5 maybe I'll have a much easier time now that I no longer have upcoming Seasons and Episodes hanging over my head like the proverbial Sword of Damocles. *Shrugs* Who knows?) Anyway, Chapter 3 was unfortunately delayed due to some technical difficulties involving my computer. However due to being blessed with good backup, and a computer-savvy father who helped me with the restoration process, that problem has been dealt with, and I'm back in business. I just sent Chapter 3 to Nightwalker (Fortunately it's not a super-long monster like Chapter 2 ended up being) so you could be seeing it soon depending on how long the editing takes.
Now onto the comments I haven't replied to yet:
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*Chuckles* Considering I can't really see the story working if I tried swapping them out with some canon characters from the show, I'd say they did.
I heard somewhere once that part of making a decent OC in fanfics is keeping most of the focus on the existing characters. (IE Fluttershy and Discord) but including the OC if you have some role that can't be filled by a canon character. (For example, I don't think the idea of the Mane 6, or what's left of them, having to trust these characters they only recently met and don't really know that much about, would work as well if I used established characters the fandom is already familiar with.)
*Pats you on the head* Oh, don't worry about it. I was slinging a lot of information at you in this chapter.
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*Laughs and shakes head* Oh, Applejack and Screwjob.
These two in a nutshell:
Screwjob (*Chuckles* Yes, I know it's a woman singing, but just roll with it.):
Applejack (Thank you Miss Koi Fish Pony showing me this song):
Screwjob again:
Applejack again:
Also, Yes! Another reader who enjoying this couple!
*Chuckles* I don't envy those changelings. And as for Apple Bloom and Scootaloo... Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens.
Honestly, I was ready for a breather. All the madness needed to take a break. I ain't Discord, after all.
But dang, AJ. *Dang*. Are we sure that isn't a changeling?
Awww. Fluttershy sighing at the moon in longing. Such a pretty vision. How I hope she sees him soon!
So happy this is being continued! You keep 'em coming, and I'll keep coming back for more!
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At present no, mostly because I haven't read the fourth book yet, though I do plan to at some point if only to see how it compares to the first three original novels. If while reading it, I end up getting an idea I like (*Chuckles* and that takes a hold of me with the intensity this one did) I'll likely write it, but for now I have no plans to ponify the fourth novel.
*Chuckles* Good to know.
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*Shrugs* Well, in her defense, she's probably taking this the hardest, considering she went into hiding all those years to try and keep the changelings' sights off her family.
Oh, no worries there. Screwjob made sure it was really her in his own oddball way.
*Chuckles* You and me both. Most of their time together in the last story was during dreams where neither of them knew they were interacting with the genuine article, and I've missed having them work together on the mystery like they did in the first story.
Thank you. So glad to hear that, and I shall continue endeavoring to give satisfaction.
Applejack surprised me, but at the same time in their situation can you really blame her? Poor Fluttershy too. She's been through so much and a lot of pressure is being placed on her too.
I completely forgot this all takes place within a week or so! It's crazy, to say the least, how much can happen in such little time.
Regardless of the emotional breakouts between Applejack and the main 4, it was a calming chapter. Which leaves me very much excited to see what you have in the future!
Wohoo! A new chapter here at last!:D Let's get to it and quick^^
D'oh, ouch! AJ! I felt that! Right over here on the other side of the screen! Dang, no wonder you're the Element of Honesty, you're brutual with YOUR OWN, emphasis on her's, honesty:0 Lol! Sorry, couldn't resist;) But for real, this moment really did hit hard not only because of AJ's pain and what she said but the physical pain shown on Skywishes. This is the most hurt we have seen Skywishes. We have seen her flinch or show signs of emotional hurt when characters mention her sister's name and such, but when they did mention her, it was by accident or it was done carefully in consideration to Skywishes's feelings. Besides those moments, Skywishes has shown to be one of the strongest characters in your series, physically and mentally. Therefore, with all these added factors together, makes this scene hit hard and physical signs of Skywishes emotional hurt, the kind of emotional hurt that show more physical tension on her body than previous instants before, oof! My heart hurtsX0! Oh my girl, my sweet girlX0! I still love you AJ, you're stressed baby, but just like the girls & High said, you need to chill and not go that far;) Side note, I love how High is calling Applejack "Apps" just like Screwy doesXD Haha lol that's how you know your bro approves of your girlfriend, they do the same nickname that you doXD Lol! Anyway, another thing why this moment also really hits hard is because through out the story, the readers get a sense that Skywishes and AJ are connected because they are both actively involved in the chain of murders performed by our hybrid changelings. Despite their different positions and takes in these murders, they are still connected and now that they finally get to interact on a more personal level, their first conversation together ends with hard blows on their emotions:( Just dang:( Plus Skywishes could help AJ go through what she's going through right now. AJ just recently lost Granny along with Pinkie and Rainbow and hasn't had any time to process it, while Skywishes has had time to grieve over her sister's death.
Oh my gosh, lol oh ScrewyXD Just oh ScrewyXD But seriously though AJ, don't worry about Screwy, he is a gentle-colt and keeps it classy
Haha lol oh my gosh Screwy, you corny creative little genius you;)
I'm with High on this one, face palm hard on my face:/ Good job Screwy, gooooood job:/ You were doing well earlier, then quickly crashed and burnedXD
Overall, this was a nice short chapter with a good balance of venting out feelings, focus on how our characters are doing after the action, get a break from the action, some Fluttercord fluff and fluff at the end of the chapter with Skywishes making hot chocolate:) I look forward how these emotions of the characters develop in the next chapter & how this affects the interactions they have with each other:)
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*Chuckles* I know what you mean. I realized while writing the previous book that a lot had to happen in a short time, but I didn't realize just how short it really was until just looking back now.
Well, I'm happy to report that next Chapter is out now.
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*Chuckles* Well, at least he's honest.
*Laughs and shrugs* Well, no one's perfect.
In that case, I'm happy to report I got that next chapter out (squeaked it out) just before January ended. It's a bit light of the Fluttercord moments but I think people can get their fill of that with Fluttercord week.
Screwjob and Applejack, sitting in a TreeHUB, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
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Screwjob: "Well, MisterEdd, I am certainly working my way in that direction."
Applejack under her breath: "And fighting a losing battle."
Every time I think of Screwjob's flirting with Applejack, I think of the song "Sucker" by Jonas Brothers.
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*Listens to song* Yep, that about sums it up. Thanks for the song.
By the way, if you enjoyed the moments between Applejack and Screwjob, you might enjoy Misskoifishpony's The Power Ponies vs The Forces of Good & Evil. It's a collection of AU stories featuring the Mane 6 as superheroes, and Screwjob guest-stars as a secret agent assigned to investigate them. And of course he's every bit as infatuated with Applejack as he is here, while she's every bit as less-than-impressed as she is here.
Great chapter. I’m really looking forward to seeing how they deal with the little equine but I hope Discord’s going to join back up with Fluttershy sooner rather than later.
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*Chuckles* Without giving too much away just yet, I can definitely tell you it will be sooner rather than later.
Another great chapter! The increasing stakes allows for good story pacing and good tension. The entire Everfree burning, oh dear. I can't imagine that, even if the TreeHAB is safe from being burned, that they can stay there for much longer because of the spreading fire.
Oh, I'm so glad we got to see the group meet up with the mysterious equine creature. And I'm still at a loss as to what it could be. I'm, like, a complete dolt, so for all I know, there have been clues strewn about since the character was previously introduced, but I still haven' t the faintest. I'm curious if it's a character we're familiar with or something, but I can't think of anyone it might be (then again, I've been out of loop with the show for several seasons soooo, haha)! Then again, it's in the mystery genre here for a reason.
And of course Fluttershy's the one who's really trying to befriend her; not just because she's the Element of Kindness, but because she also recognizes how the creature is acting out of instinct to protect herself. I'm sure the equine will start opening up to her in no time. Bonding time!!
And finally! A little reunion right at the end. We haven't heard from Discord in a while (aside from Fluttershy thinking about him... a lot; oh, sweetie, everything will get better between you two soon), so we better hear from him soon!
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Haha lol at least he's honest, that's very true^^ And again, that should be very attractive to Apps;) Just sayin;) Lol!
Haha very true and good point, but good thing Screwy has High to keep him in check;)
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Dawww, thank you for prompting this story Sharkie^^ I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it^^ <3
Before I begin, I have to apologize for being soooo late in this review:0! Oh boy, irl stuff really took me away from Fimfiction for awhile and I am so sorry to post my thoughts on this one cause oh man what a chapter!:D So much stuff happened in this, where do I even begin?!XD
Haha lol nice
I like the way you think Sky
Haha lol I'm shaking my head too Sky, except I'm chuckling under my breath uncontrollably while doing itXD Lol! Oh Screwy, stopXD
Daww my heart:') Continuity and call back at its finest, at last we're addressing this:') One of my favorite parts from the first story was the adopted sibling relationship between Rarity and Applebloom & Rarity being the best sister she can be for Applebloom after all those years AJ would help her to be the best sister she can be for Sweetie Belle <3
Heeeyyy, Fluttershy at last achieved her cover art look:D Huzzah!^^ Lol! Sorry, I don't know why that's important to meXD It's so fascinating to see Fluttershy with short hair, don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm soo used to seeing her with long hair?
Oooh that's right:0 Discord did take away Fluttershy's wings, I almost forgot about that:0
Haha lol good one HighXD! Lol!
Dawww my heart:'( It's breaking:'( What a reveal, what a confession, oh boy:'( It's sooo heart breaking because ever since we've met Sky, we have seen her to be nothing less but an amazing sister to Sunny, doing everything in her power to solve her sister's murder and bring those murders to justice. And now, we get to see a now more realized, flaw but still amazing sister like Skywishes <3 It's fascinating to compare and contrast Pinkie Pie & Maud with Skywishes & Sunny Daze in this scenario. What these two sister pairs have in common is that they are complete opposites from one another, but they are opposites that compliment one another too. But the difference is, for Pinkie & Maud sure they were different but that didn't prevent them from spending time with one another and loving each other deeply. While for Skywishes and Sunny, while they loved each other deeply just like Pinkie & Maud, however they did let their different keep them apart and create a divide between the two despite the love they share <3 And poor Sky is blaming herself and living with regret:'( Dawww Sky:'(
Haha lol that's our girl;) Hardcore and ready to go;) Lol!
Oh my gosh, lol, I will never get tired of this back and forth between these two I swear:3 ^^
Hey, it's our favorite baby bird boi!:D He's back^^! What message do you bring us?:)
In terms of the new equine in this chapter, revealed at last....
*Ahem, clearing my throat* (Singing) THIS PONY IS ON FIRE!!!!XD
LolXD! Sorry, I couldn't resist this obvious joke;)
In terms of what I think this creature could possibly be, besides being a nice reference to your second story "the ponies who played with fire";) (Lol!), I think this firey changeling is a malfunction result from the hybrid changelings' experiment or a natural evolution result that just slowly came to be in order to naturally come back against this hybrid changelings (but this second theory I have less faith in when comparing it to the first theory). Great chapter as always and I cannot wait for Chapter 5:D <3! Keep up the good work Sharkie, especially after MLP officially ended<3
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Sorry, meant to reply to this review sooner, but it's been a rather crazy couple months. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for the review, I really appreciated it, and wanted to address something you mentioned. The following:
Oh, we will. I can promise that we both be seeing him, and finding out why he's been out of the story as long as he has. (And I can also promise that is about to change.) I've sent most of Chapter 5 to my editor and we're working hard to have it ready as soon as possible because I've been keeping you wonderful readers waiting for far too long.
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Hey, no problem. You've done me proud with that story so far, and it deserves more attention.
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Hey, it's been pretty crazy for me as well, which is why it's taken me this long to get back to you.
*Chuckles* I had fun including that little bit.
Fun fact: Those lines were actually Nightwalker's idea. I swear the two of you can read my boy like a book.
Yeah, I know it wasn't a really major part of the overall story, but I enjoyed the relationship between them as well.
*Chuckles* Well, Discord's had his own slightly-different-from-canon look for pretty much this whole trilogy, so I suppose it's only fair Fluttershy gets a bit of a slightly-different-from-canon makeover as well.
Side Note: And we also now know why one of her legs is all bloody and bandaged in the cover art as well. Now she just needs one more thing to completely achieve her cover art look. *Chuckles again* I'll let you see if you can guess what that is.
Fun fact: So did Nightwalker while he was helping me edit this chapter. Though in both your defenses, there's been a lot of other things to focus on, and her current lack of wings hasn't really been a major plot point until this chapter.
Regarding the relationship between Sunny Daze and Skywishes: Thanks for commenting on this because I was wondering what you'd think of the fact that Sunny and Sky's situation wasn't just a carbon copy of Pinkie and Maud's. (As much as I still love those two.)
*Chuckles* I doubt I ever will either. I just find them too much fun.
Regarding the mystery equine: I like your theories but I can neither confirm nor deny them at this time.
Thanks again for the review. I know it's been quiet a while, but Nightwalker and I are currently working on editing Chapter 5 so I will have it up as soon as I can.
"This is light on the Fluttercord'' you say, you know, like a liar
Bro this chapter has me in Fluttercord-based tears. Their meeting was just...So soft and sad. God, I have a soft spot for this kinda stuff; Flutters just cares so much about Discord, and even when he's half unconscious and facing potential execution, Discord cares so much about her! Their reunion, though brief, was the sweetest hecking thing I have read in a long time.
There is NOTHING sweeter than that scene bro; just something about god-like creature being brought so low, but still having the care and love of his less magically skilled friend/lover...Agh, I have cavities... Just thinking about how hard he tried to stay awake just to see her has me in tears an hour after reading...
This is one of the reasons you're a good writer. You make it so darn relatable and do a great job of comedic relief. Also, this is obligatory at this point, so I will randomly add:
But are Pinkie and Rainbow really dead?
I'm pretty sure he already finished it, though. Another thing you're good at is making OC's we actually care about. Personally, I don't normally care about OC's. I just want my ship like the disgusting shipper person that I am. But I love your OC's. They're all so good. And I still hope that Rainbow and Pinkie aren't REALLY dead, because DANGIT THE OC NEVER GOT TO PROPOSE TO HER, HE DESERVES HER HAPPINESS, COME ON COME ON COME ON.
Fluttershy's quiet strength is what makes her such an amazing character in the first place. She's the most easily terrified of all the girls, and yet she goes on the exact same adventures as they do despite herself. And now your stories have followed canon in terms of her development. It's an interesting parallel, because the show wasn't like this at all, but Fluttershy is still becoming stronger and more confident each day. I love it.
...Wait a second. Pony with its skeleton on the outside? I didn't realize this the first time I read this chapter, but... an inside-out pony...
Skywishes' story breaks my heart. I can't even imagine what it's like for her. And now I have an idea of what the fire-breathing thing MIGHT be, but you and I both know you're not going to reveal anything yet, because where's the fun for either of us in that???
...An inside-out pony... but what of the fire? Could the changelings be making a new breed...? The others that were attacked, like Derpy, they were reported to be inside-out balls of themselves... Could they have not been through the entire process...?
An excellent chapter, as always, from one of the best series on this website! On to the next one!
Oh my goodness. Such a good chapter. It wasn't even necessarily action-packed, but I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, because this mystery has me in its grips. That, and I got REALLY excited when Fluttershy said she'd go see Discord.
I agree with Spiritofchaos227. That scene was soft and sweet, but tense and packed with emotion. And all their touches are so soft and meaningful. Discord tracing her face, exhausted. Fluttershy nearly kissing his fingers. It's true this series is a slow-burn, but oh, it is such a ssatisfying slow burn. You do what you need to do, friend. This is all going to pay off, I'm sure.
And oh, I'm so proud of Spike! Gosh, I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him so much. Skywishes is pretty awesome too. Once again, an OC I are about, when I don't normally care for them. But you make all the characters so raw and real and every word you put into this is so clearly thought out and worked through. I'm very curious about Bonfire, especially now that I've got this new theory in my head that is probably wrong because I'm not very good at solving mysterious, like at all. I'm quite terrible at it.
Please tell me we will meet Big Tim and Aunt Moonshine. They sound so amazing. I wanna meet Big Tim!!
Amazing as always, Shark. I'm so impressed with your writing and dedication to finish this series. It's one of the best.
YAYYYY!:D At last, Chapter 5 is here at last and oh boy was this chapter good, like really good^^ Like my favorite so far due to, well, obvious reasonsXD Lol! What can I say?;) I'm biased and I never admitted to being not biased;) This favorite ranking of chapter will definitely change in the future, but I do not care^^ Lol!
Haha lol oh Screwy, never change you heel youXD!
Dawww what a sweet Apps x Screwy moment <3 ^^
Yeah High, don't call Screwy old in front of his marefriendXD ;) Lol!
With all this talk about Moonshine and Big Tim, I hope we get to see them in later in this story and I especially want Apps and the others to meet these two particular characters;) <3
Dawww I never thought that a name like Bonfire could make out to be such a cute name^^ I love it cause they can shorten it to Bonnie:) We can't shorten it to Bon Bon because well, obvious reasons, looking at the actual Bon Bon we have in the showXD Lol! Also I love how she's so in theme with, not only her whole appearance, but in theme with your other story "Ponies Who Play With Fire";) Lol!
OMG this is like that Season 9 episode, celebrating the 200th episode special where Spike and Fluttershy get to be spies together and they're going through the air duct together and whatnot^^!
Oh man, shooooooot :0 I think this is the first time that Flutters has seen Derpy like this... oh man, how in the world is she going to explain this to Dinky? Will she even tell Dinky? </3
YOU LIE! AND I CAN APPROVE IT WITH THIS SWEET FLUTTERCORD MOMENT AND IT IS BEYOND LIGHT! IT IS FULL BLOWN INTERACTION IN THE REAL WORLD!
OMG YES, Letter Writing/Pen Pal time!:D
Once again thank you so much for producing such a great chapter and thank you for advertising The Mare Who Became Queen to all & for always supporting me & my projects <3
I like where you’re going with the little equine now. And yay progress with Discord. Now just need to know about Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Hope they’re ok.
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*Chuckles* And you can probably guess my obligatory answer (or lack thereof) at this point.
*Chuckles* Very true.
Why, thank you. Believe it or not, I actually felt the same way towards OCs back when I was just a lurker reading fanfics, so I was a bit nervous about using some in this trilogy. Hearing that you’re loving them really brings a smile to my face.
*Smiles calculatingly* I can say that a few of those ideas are a bit on the right track, but I won’t say exactly which ones nor how they are.
*Bows and says in a pompous voice* I endeavor to give satisfaction, sir.
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*Laughs and raises hands in surrender* I stand corrected. I said that this chapter was light on Fluttercord moments because when I was writing it, those moments felt like they were only a small portion of the overall chapter and thus didn't seem like a lot to me. (Of course, it probably would have felt different if this chapter wasn't such a long clunker, but I digress.) *Chuckles* However, judging by your reactions, it seems I was wrong. But if it means I delivered more Fluttercord than I initially thought, I am happy to be wrong.
*Chuckles* Well, we’ll see. I’d like to have them show up, and meet the other characters but we’ll have to wait and see how it works with what else I have planned.
Screwjob: “No, you don’t!”
*Chuckles* Ignore him. He’s biased due to the fact that he and that rattlesnake have a mutual hate relationship.
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Ahh, it feels so wonderful to finally call her by a proper name, doesn't it?
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*Chuckles* I love him, too. Spike is awesome.
The funny thing is I wasn’t even thinking of that when I wrote this scene. *Chuckles* An unintentional reference. Cool.
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And thank you for the support and kind comments.
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No problem, I'm happy to. And thanks for all the support you've given me and this series as well.
How many chapters long will this story be?
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Eighteen chapters total with no prologues or epilogues this time. So yeah, 1/3 of the way there so far.