• Member Since 1st Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 22nd, 2017

iDeltaVelocity


I like writing and music

T

Thank you to revan1801 for pre-reading

"We work in the dark to serve the light. We are Assassins."

These words mark the very existence of the Brotherhood and their mission to preserve the freedom of man from the Templar Order.

The Mane Six, having arrived in France after a mishap with the Element of Magic, are rescued by a member of the Assassin Order. Who are the Assassins and Templars? And why do they have such interest in the Element?

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 81 )

In celebration for Assassin's Creed III which is supposed to come out by the end of the month, I finally had the guts to uploaded an Assassin's Creed/MLP crossover of my very own.

Hope everyone likes it! :pinkiehappy:

So far so good...I hope this doesn't turn out like all other Assassin's Creed crossovers:ajsleepy:

'The ponieshad been lifted' paragraph 16 from the beginning.
'checked to see if the close was clear before' 5th paragraph from the end.
Aside from these, everything else is well written and leaves the reader wanting more. Keep it up.:twilightsmile:

1443004
I try to be helpful, gotta put my creative writing class to good use somehow... Though something just occurred to me that I'm pointing out your mistakes for all to see...
Should you wish this to not happen, then say so and such corrections will be sent via private message.

1443026 Criticism and advice are all I ask of people who read my stories. Pointing out my mistakes is quite okay... :pinkiesmile:

1443088
Just wanted to take into account of your personal feelings. My paranoia makes me not want to offend.:fluttershyouch:

I'm gonna thumbs down this and here's why:

There is certainly a lot of potential in this story, and yet you deny yourself so much of it. This chapter could just as easily be three, and as such it feels rushed.

I think it needs a rewrite, not because it's bad, but because it could so easily be better. Put a little more time into the story and it could be compelling..

1443634 Rushed? Really? It took me more than a week coming up with this chapter alone. Plus to be honest, I don't really see how I could split it up into three chapters.

i'm probelay going to get ac3

PMC

1442831 What do you think most Assassins Creed crossovers end up as? I never really noticed a trend.

Well you sir have my attention. :moustache: I will be following this, so carry on.

Just gonna leave this here.

1498644

This comment shall be my most favourite.

so who's exited for AC3?

1533019 About to get it right now. WOO HOO!!!

Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooot

It seems a pretty good story overall. However, I can't help but to see some aspects about it that could have been made better. My main issue is that it feels kinda rushed. You could take some time to better describe the situations and places they ponies find themselves in. For example, you could add some detail to the French city they landed on, maybe give some hints so that those who know can recognize it. You could also describe the ponies' new human forms and the clothes they're wearing, that and a little bit more of a psychological effect that it could cause to anyone landing on another world in a new body like some HiE fics but the other way around.

Thats pretty much my thoughts about it. Keep it up!

2484998 I am trying to write more. I'm currently going through a rewrite and editing process with the other chapters I already got done. Aside from that, as well as several stories I'm writing and plan on writing, as well as the dubstep song I'm currently working on, it's gonna take a while.

MOAR PLS! really good so far.

2687415 And I thought I liked to show people weird things...

1469965 Never finished. At least the ones I've seen.

2687639 I'm gonna try to finish this story

2688618 I look foward to reading it. :pinkiehappy:

I'm not usually into ponies being humanized stories, but this one is really good! I also love assassins creed, so that may have helped. But still a cool story!

I definitely want to see the girls as assassins. That'd be BAD ASS!

2726038 Thanks for that wonderful comment :pinkiehappy:

2729434 np bro. If I ever make a comment its almost always going to be positive. If I don't like a story I just ignore it. I NEVER down vote because its just my opinion. Some one else may love said story so who am I to say its bad?

cool, I hope the Mane 6 gets some small guns.

Really the only crossover that actually interested me was Fallout Equestria, but this chapter was well written and kept me here so I think I'm going to follow this and maybe some other AC crossover fics to.:twilightsmile:

alright, I'm hooked. Definetly following this! Keep it up this is great!:pinkiehappy:

I'm a big fan of AC; this is on my radar.

With the girls and what little experience they had, it was going to take more along the lines of luck rather than skill to successfully infiltrate the fortress. Each of them had separate disguises: Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash were dressed up as thieves; Fluttershy was a civilian; and Pinkie Pie and Rarity would be acting out as guardsmen. Aw, I was hoping they'd be disguised as Courtesans.

jeez bro you really kept me aiting! Its about time!:twilightsmile:

Interesting to see Celestia and Spike finally get involved. I'm very curious as to what they do next; try to recreate the effect and see if they can contact them?

wonder what'll happen next, maybe Celestia gets transported there as well?:trixieshiftright:

I am sorry, but my memory fails me. who is Gabriel Robert?

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