- Member Since 11th May, 2012
- offline last seen Jul 10th, 2016
Vedavyasa
I am a mad scientist who works with ideas and words.
Vedavyasa
Joined 11th May, 2012 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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me sensing pony altiar I know his full name
Altiar iben la-ahad
838827
Nope. Ombra della Lama is his name.
He just hasn't earned it yet.
This is a good story so far. I don't see how he'll become an assassin, only because he is in Canterlot and under Princess Celestia's watch but, I haven't read the second chapter and it is early in the story. Keep up the good work
.
Huh. I like your narrative style. It contains the perfect balance of vagueness, and descriptiveness, and I look forward to seeing where this goes from here.
One thing however, that confused me, was why receiving the hidden blade would relieve the princess' worries. Would this not just enhance them?
838854
Thanks much! Pretty much exactly what I was aiming for with this.
Edit.
Le oops. Missed your question the first time.
The Princess isn't worried about his choices for his life (if she was, she would never have allowed him to train now would she?), but instead because he hadn't yet found his true calling. A cutie mark (in my headcanon anyway) literally defines what a pony does. If the cutie mark says he's a blacksmith, then by jesus he's gonna be a blacksmith. He's spent years training to be an assassin, and yet the cutie mark evaded him. He was following a path with no guarantee it would be right for him.
I love Assassin's Creed and I love My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic. This is a really good way to mash them together. I have a question. What is the "time?" Is it before the first episode or after the second season? If there isn't a time that's fine.
838872
The story starts somewhere between thirty and forty years before season one.
Sweet Celestia.
The grammar is FLAWLESS! The spelling is FLAWLESS! The awesomeness is FLAWLESS!
This is truly a great crossover. Keep up the good work!
Just one question, why is Twilight a main character if this takes place around 30-40 years before season one? Do I sense a plot twist?
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/133588115197s.gif?1336215221 -Storm
hm...not bad. Have my like.
838981
Feel free to pm me any guesses. If you get it right, you get a cookie!
839285
In some cases, I would have called the part leading up to the kill "Rushed." But in the way that it is written, its a good pace.
Also, may i make a side fic to this? Perhaps a story line about another Assassin?
Anyway, good story, and keep up the good work.
-Storm
841540
Go right ahead man, I'd love to see what you can come up with
All I ask is credit if Ombra pops up in your story.
841569 It shall be done.
point of note: when making an authors note, please label it as such. :D
(also, if I double or triple post, its because of latency issues. sorry if that happens.)
841886
I shall try. I tend to add them when I'm posting the chapter, so I never really think about it
841902 All you really need to do is say 'A/N' and most people will get it. I personally like to colour mine.
Well, if you're gonna do it...
844711
?
845406 Oh, its the first half of an open ended expression. I meant it in a positive way though.
'If you're gonna do it, do it like that' or something to that effect.
846139
Ah, alrighty then
846530 I Have finished the second chapter of the sidefic. It's pouring out of my head like a pitcher of cold water. Also, I like the way you've made it like he's telling a story.
Another question: Is Ombra now old, like Ezio in Revelations? Since there's a Alternate universe tag, I'm not exactly sure. But, all I can say is that the story is AWESOME!
-Storm
846604
He isn't young, but he's hardly ancient either. I'm pegging him at forty-six during the "present-day" sections of the story.
846639 I see. Smart, not making him a crippled old man, but not super young at the same time.
846649
Precisely. Old enough to be wise, but young enough that his body hasn't quite failed him yet. Think Ezio at the beginning of Brotherhood.
846656 Damn it, the only thing I can think of on Ezio is his beard!
assassins are not mortal they are death given form and you cannot kill death
Truely a Crossover to be Proud off, you sir have done great
847839
We shall see
847899
Only one problem I have.... these chapters only take me a minute and a bit to read...
Oh well, tis the curse of production. you spend a long time making something, for only a fraction of the product.
This is one of the best crossovers I have ever read. (the other is a Portal 2 crossover)
HOORAH! needs to be more >:3 Russian ponies have alot of weapons <- random
849102
Yeah, I tend to do that in my writing. Short chapters, frequent updates.
849424>>850837
>>SlimeOrion ?
Pros of this story:
ASSASSIN FUCKING CREED CROSSOVER,
Original story (From what I've seen)
Cons:
Nothing, just nothing
That is all!
~Xaiden
PS if your looking for an extra Pre-reader, I'd be nothing less than honored.
853130
Why thankee very much
853148
Well as of the fact I just finished AC: Revelations, and love MLP to death, I WILL BE THE ONE WHO IS THANKFUL
853160
If'n you say so :lol:
And, as a matter of fact, I have no pre-reader or editor or any such thing. If you're good with catching missed words and the occasional grammar slip that'd be awesome.
853179
Not much of a grammar nazi as I constantly have people telling me my grammer needs fixing, I'm more along the lines of helping with writer's block, and occasionally giving ideas, but if you need someone for grammar, I wouldn't be a first choice, but I could provide some assistance
Excellent, I love how the scene unfolds as a past-tense journal-like form. That Ombra's past experiances make a sort-off "step-by-step" list of desisions that are leading to where he is now, from that cliffhanger I can tell he's not exactly in the best of positions with all the "deeds" he's done.
Again I would still have to say, MAGNIFICO WORK!
(Btw I'm mediocre when it comes to editing, actually have to re-vamp my entire fic, especially that not-too decent 1st chapter-prologue
)
853266
*checks your profile*
AHA! I knew I wouldn't be the only one with this crossover idea.
As far as Ombra's position... yeah he's pretty fucked. I'm a terrible, TERRIBLE little god for my characters like that.
853283 First you smite, crush, salt, etc. Then give them a chance to redeam themselves and......
WAM! Make them suffer with a diabolical plot twist!
As the saying goes, "First you fly, then you die"
Really anything can happen in a story, just as long as your imagination/the fic itself allows it.
Honestly I have no idea how I got away with "Reapers" and other Mass Effect stuff, STILL 100% ASSASSIN RELATED
~Turn a character's suffering into enjoyment for all! Turn their world upside down then when they get used to that, rightside up!~
853354
I see your Reapers and raise you Reavers from Firefly... an expy of which may or not be swimming around my mind...
I keep reading this in Altair's voice
have some moustaches
This is a great story.
854331
So do I. I didn't base Ombra off of Altair on purpose, but his seriousness seems to have rubbed off on me.
And, thankee for the spikestachesv
I'm glad to see how this is turning out.
I can't wait til the next chapter. See how the death of his master changes him (Though I already have a good idea of what it is.)
So the death of his master has a ton of outcomes but I'll stick with 2 possible ones:
Ombra is confused, the grypons own everything, he goes into nervous shock and into hiding, super-mega-awesome redemption time, and then Assassin ownage.
OR
Ombra upon seeing his master is dead starts to maniacly laugh. Harvesting the dark powers of The Assassin Gifts he goes on a quest to rule the galaxy and to destroy the battle droids and reletive republic governments with his assassin clone army in the creation of the new EMPIRE, with Darth Ombra leading everyone with an iron hoof.
They say all the great Assassins are the ones that live the longest (count their high death ratio) and what type of furniture they happen to be sitting on when they die.
Altair was in a Chair, Ezio was on a bench, Connor's probably going to die sitting on a stool, and likely Desmond in the Animus Chair.
Gotta love em seats
)
(Forgive me, I use paragraphs in my daily writing and speech and looking back I realized most of this was garbage with the Star Wars referances. I look forward to seeing how this death affects him
858332
You have no idea how tempted I am to waste a few hours tonight writing Darth Ombra, Sith Lord of the Equestrian Empire, ruthlessly eradicating the Rebellion lead by the mane six.
858345 So it would be something like this? First the invention of glowing sticks, then finally lazers!
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTd7lA5pqDdKahn6TPKYYdSyTWolWbf_GbG2T_4nkLA9nj45XU8 t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQVxiRHkhqN-04kbvJKqRRqKMbnt7WU5-ezdEw8zA2QPmew1B9kEQ
Pinkie should be Yoda considering he broke the 4th wall of death and came back to life as an all powerful spirit.... FOREVER!
858365
Yes, quite like that. :lol:
858365 Please tell me there is a mod for AC like that. And then tell me how to install it. Please?
@Author: I may just have to start waiting for you to release 5 chapters so I can have a nice half hour sit down of reading
Still doing great, by the way.