I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
Fluttershy can’t awaken from her nightmare, if it even is a nightmare. Nopony knows predators and prey better than her, but she'd never truly felt like prey before. She only has to make it until morning.
An entry in A Thousand Words Contest II
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yikes.
Haven't read a pony fanfic in years now, but man was this a good one to stumble upon when the itch arose. You managed to craft something genuinely unnerving in a thousand words without a single drop of gore and with an Everyone rating to boot. I can see you've been doing this for a while and the expertise shows. I just wish I could craft a story like that.
After seeing the way Fluttershy treats her brother, I find stories like this both karmic and cathartic. It’s just too bad Fluttershy didn’t get slowly eaten alive and screaming by that monster in the end. Please respond to this comment.
11648431
I'm sorry, but her brother DESERVES that. He's a stuck up, self centered, self important idiot who gave up at the slightest hint of actual work. Fluttershy is the kindest, sweetest, most gentle pony in Equestria and her self centered brother took advantage of the fact that she doesn't say no to anyone.
Nice ambiguity, definitely added to the vibe.
The creature is definitely coming back
I really hope Fluttershy tells Twi, before its too late
Delightfully creepy, with just enough of an ambiguous ending to really send a chill up one's spine!
That really sent the chills. I have no idea What's this all about, or why is it suddenly happening, But she's been a good friend to all her creatures, and can surely overcome a beast that can't even stand in front of her face to face. I'm sure it's the beast that has life issues.
Nice job, keep up the good work!
11648431
Firstly, He's not relevant to this story, so there's absolutely no valid reason of your bringing him up here.
Secondly, no one deserves to die.
Thirdly, some thoughts are better kept to oneself, so beasts don't come after you.
Edit: Got a respond from Starlight Nova via PM and no further reply. The results are: He's careless, and couldn't care less about the surroundings.
It left in the sunlight. So clearly it's a DEMON!
Flutters needs to call the Slayers!
nawpic.com/media/2020/demon-slayer-desktop-nawpic-8-e1621888085708.jpg
Or just become as powerful as me. I can CHOKE SHADOWS TO DEATH!!! DON'T QUESTION IT!!! MAGICAL BS EXPLANATION GOES HERE!!!
11648431
Man, you sound INsufferable.
Why does nearly everyone in comment section thinks it's Zephyr Breeze threatening Fluttershy?
Hello, can I narrate your fic on my channel?
11648431
i'm responding because you requested it. unless you meant the author; if so, my bad
11649483
Nobody thinks that. One guy would like to condemn Fluttershy to being killed for the way she treated her brother and everyone else disagrees, but that has nothing to do with who/what the monster is.
11649521
I don’t mind. Put a link in the comments when you’ve posted it.
11649524
He probably means anyone. He’s got a history of posting comments that usually make it clear he hasn’t read the story.
aww, poor Fluttershy!
ooh, do love this magical creature, really adds to the immersion
aww that sure does sound like a nice conclusion to this fright
aww, Fluttershy thinking of the critters even now is just so her
oof! just when we were ready to think of the danger as an illusion, and over. really great use of the dread of the unknown here. thank you for writing!
This is fascinating. Is it a true dream monster? A creature in the real world? A manifestation of Fluttershy’s anxiety? Whatever the case, a pointedly worded letter to Luna may be in order. Excellent tension throughout, and the last note merely adds another layer of uncertainty to the dread rather than dispelling it. Well done, and thank you for the entry.
11698552
Horror can be tough to do, since there are two distinct flavors of it: gore and suspense. I don't like the former at all, but it seems like the majority of people are less interested in the latter. I've always had an odd relationship with horror, and for how seldom I write it, I do find it fun. And I'm a firm believer in "the scariest monster is the one you never see."
11649521
Here is the video!
https://youtu.be/-0EDvoI54z0?si=gqaX_jXu3N4Aetou