Polyamory is a Surprisingly Effective Solution to the Housing Shortage
They had asked the question as a joke. But it got them thinking.
“Why don’t we buy a house together?”
It wasn’t easy for new graduates to afford a house so early, but together, they managed to secure a fixed-rate joint mortgage at four-point-six percent. Sunset and her six friends were excited to move in together six months ago, immediately after their graduation.
81860 Canterlot Oaks Avenue was a cozy fourteen-hundred-square-foot single-floor family home. With only two-bed and two-bath, they had to be creative with their space. Since she needed space for her live streams and video editing, Sunset took the garage and renovated it into a bedroom and office, with a heavy curtain to separate her stuff from Rarity’s sewing supplies. Applejack and Rarity, being a couple, took one bedroom for themselves, leaving Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash to share the other. Pinkie Pie traveled a lot for her job and opted to park her RV in the driveway and sleep there instead. And with the seven of them, the TV rules were as simple as assigning it by day.
After a month, however, they started having incidents. Someone left their vibrator charging in the living room. Rainbow Dash forgot to lock the bathroom door during some “personal time.” Thanks to Applejack and Rarity, they all found out just how little the walls could block out. And although no one pointed fingers, they all knew it was Fluttershy who had ordered eight volumes of “Wolfboy x Bunnygirl” manga from Amazon.
Eventually, they needed a house meeting.
As far as problems to have with a new house, it could be worse,” Sunset said when she called them to the dining room. “Still, I think we need to work something out.”
“I try not to think about it too much. It’ll be like getting used to hearing traffic outside the dorms,” Twilight said. “If I can ignore angry truckers at 2AM, I can sleep through Rarity getting her back blown out by Applejack every night.”
“I beg your pardon?” Rarity’s face reddened. “That is hardly the problem when Dashie can’t even lock a door.”
“It was one time!” Rainbow pouted and folded her arms. “Maybe putting all seven of us into one house wasn’t the best idea.”
Twilight shook her head. “The math is clear. With rents the way they are, this mortgage is still the best deal in the long run. We just gotta work through this phase.”
“We should count our blessings,” Rarity added. “We’re lucky enough to have even found a property with this housing shortage.”
“So, are we just going to ignore everything we’ve seen?” Fluttershy asked.
Pinkie Pie, who had been uncharacteristically silent up until that point, stood up to address everybody. “Ladies, please, you’re all missing the obvious solution here.”
“And what d’you reckon that is?” Applejack asked.
“Well, everyone’s feeling awkward about these incidents, but you two aren’t uncomfortable with each other, right?”
“Not in the slightest,” Applejack said, smiling. “What are you getting at?”
“Don’t you see? We could solve all our problems if we followed your example and all just hooked up! Nothing to be embarrassed about if we’ve seen it all, right? It would have to a unanimous, of course, but—”
“But nothing,” Twilight interrupted. “Pinkie, this is a serious conversation, we can’t solve our problems with… carnal release!”
“I dunno about that,” Rainbow Dash mumbled. “It could work.”
“I second it,” Fluttershy murmured. She simply shrugged as everyone else eyeballed her as if wondering if they had heard correctly.
“Funny,” Applejack chortled. “We’ve been struggling to try new things with just us two. We’re willing to experiment if y’all are, right?” Rarity nodded eagerly.
Sunset chuckled. “A little unexpected, but you gotta admit, it’s not a bad idea.”
Twilight looked around the table. “You’re all okay with the idea?”
“I think the question is, are you?” Sunset asked. “If it’s not unanimous, all it does is leave someone out, and that isn't going to fix the problem.”
Twilight chewed on the end of her pen, slowly shaking her head. “I can’t say that certain thoughts never crossed my mind, but all of us? Are you girls sure?”
They all answered with an affirmative “sure” or “yeah,” or “absolutely!”
“Fine. But we’re going to need to set some house rules first.”
They discussed it back and forth numerous times, sharing interests that they all had kept secret for the years they had known each other. Once they had their list of rules, they all saved it to their phones.
- Curfew: No sex in the house after 11pm
- Or on Tuesdays/Thursdays from 5 to 8pm. Sunset is streaming.
- No sharing toys. Put your name on it, it is yours.
- If you’re using one of Twilight’s experimental designs, put a condom on it.
- P.S. If it overclocks, unplug it.
- No fucking on the dining table.
- No cursing or swearing with Fluttershy
- Excessive cursing or swearing with Rainbow Dash
- Clean up after yourself. The bathroom tiles are especially slippery with lube.
- P.S. Avoid glycerin and oil-based lubricants. They stick and have a higher risk of bacterial/yeast infections.
- Get tested for STIs regularly, even if you think you don’t need it. Check with Twilight for the schedule.
- If you're using anything with latex, let Rarity know ahead of time. She’s only allergic to direct contact.
- The safe word is “Strawberry.”
Twilight and Sunset held hands in contemplation after a day of “team bonding” with everyone and changing their internet plan to fiber optic. Not at the same time, of course.
“I knew this house was a good idea,” Sunset said, caressing her hand along the inside of Twilight’s leg. “It’s close to everyone’s jobs, plus there’s a Trader Joe’s within walking distance. We’re lucky.”
“To be fair,” Twilight said, softly kissing Sunset back, “I prefer this compared to getting fucked over by rental prices.”
Sunset laughed. “You’re right. I guess we’d be screwed either way. Who knew polyamory could solve the housing crisis?”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- SonicSpeedster97 · 2.6k words · 40 0 · 953 views
- Spyder27 · 3.8k words · 14 0 · 338 views
- Rewan Demontay · 3.6k words · 27 0 · 503 views
- TheKing2001 · 3.2k words · 17 0 · 493 views
- Rune Soldier Dan · 4.6k words · 54 1 · 709 views
- Newtimestonight · 1.3k words · 24 1 · 674 views
- Newtimestonight · 1.6k words · 29 0 · 682 views
- ThisPonyIsNamedSinewave · 9.9k words · 64 6 · 1.6k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
1,054 users online
1,590,418 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Friggen hilarious
This definitely got a giggle out of me.
Sometimes it's interesting to see the creative solutions people come up with for a shortage of space, such as only 1000
~square feet~WORDS for seven young women to live in.Rather silly,
~but~AND I enjoyed it.Boo.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Strawberry is a terrible safeword with Pinkie Pie involved. Sooner or later somebody's going to forget to call it "the S. Berry syrup" and ruin the moment.
This is just perfect, quite a winner already.
This sudden shift is hands down one of the best little moments in this whole story.
Perfect title drop.
So, this is cute, and Rarijack always gets bonus points. Also good to see that the girls have laid out some proper rules to be safe about everything. Responsibility and all that.
This said, there's not much to the story beyond a couple bawdy jokes? Which, admittedly, is the point, but I think the 1k word limit is holding the story back. There's a lot fo expositio for not a lot of payoff-- it might've been a little more effective to just jump into the "house meeting" dialogue and reveal the sordid details through that, rather than just laying it all out ahead of time. Likewise, 7 characters is big cast for such a short story-- even though having everybody involved is kind of the point?
So yeah. It's fun enough, but there's also plenty of room to expand it if you wanted to?
This can't be it. This has to be the set-up to something truly exceptional.
So Fluttershy likes the spicy stuff huh?
I laughed the whole time reading this story
It was just brilliant, especially for a 1000 word story that can only have so much. Remember kids, polyamory fixes everything. At least when it comes to these girls' housing crisis. Maybe.
Love this story
a part of me imagen my Pizza Family O.C.s
I wish this could get expanded some day
oh that rate sounds really good right about now!
living in an RV parked on the lawn of her seven-woman polycule’s house, Pinkie is really living my dream here
weeb!
ahaha
very Sci-Twi way to object
yeah, that does seem to be the way things are headed. really makes you think about Society…
i guess the matter-of-factness is part of the comedy but as a lover of the Omniship i do yearn for a slow-burn version of this! very fun idea, thank you for writing!
This is entertaining, but its priorities feel skewed at times. Did we really need all those details about the house and the mortgage? The full list of house rules? Heck, that last “let’s explain the joke” callback to the title is eleven words that could have gone elsewhere. A key part of this challenge is finding the best way to allocate your allotted word count, and you stumbled there. Still, thank you for it.