Adagio’s confession

Adagio hesitantly asks Sunset Shimmer to talk with her, having been friends for sometime now, after Sunset opened her eyes to the world of friendship, that is, she decided it was time to tell Sunset what has been on her mind.

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Grand-Galvatron

Grand-Galvatron #1 · Sep 5th, 2023 · 1 · ·

Wow, this is a very interesting read, keep up the good work.

zachary12

zachary12 #2 · Sep 5th, 2023 · 1 · ·

nice

Obi-Lan

Obi-Lan #3 · Sep 5th, 2023 · 1 · ·

Pretty good for a first try.
Minor detail: In the short description, you have the following: "Sunset could of never expected...". Please do not use "could of" (or should of, would of, must of). It is not proper English and also doesn't make any sense. The expression you are looking for is "could have", commonly abbreviated as "could've". This sounds similar to "could of" when spoken, which I assume is the reason for the misunderstanding.
I'm just a grumpy old fart, so feel free to ignore my suggestions 😉 However, if you aim to be a writer you should strive for proper grammar imo.
Oh, and the title of the fic is missing an apostrophe (should be Adagio's confession).
The way I see it: if you want to be a writer, you should also read a lot. Reading high-quality texts gives you a better feeling for what's right and what's wrong. It is not just about grammar, it is also about how the writing "flows". There are LOTS of well-written fics on this site, so there is a lot of material you can learn from. Good luck!

CameraVice