Suntaker

by Climaclysm

Sunset (Epilogue)

"What a disappointment you are."

Lucent's head hung low as she stared holes into the concrete. Celestia regarded her icily.

"My powers served to you on a plate and you still fail."

"Your student tricked—"

Celestia stomped her hoof and Lucent fell quiet. "I had hoped that weeks to think on your shortcomings would lead to you admitting your wrongs, but..."

Lucent's shoulders began to shake. "Mistress, Mother Sun— I could try again! If you gave me another opportunity...!"

Celestia shook her head. "A vessel that couldn't even subjugate one little town? Only a fool would use your body as a replacement." She sighed. "Now I must find another foal with acceptable strength."

Lucent bit back a wail as Celestia turned away.

"Goodbye, Lucent Streak. The gallows are a more than suitable reward."

Author's Note:

Edit: I was uh, not expecting all the reactions to this epilogue. Thought I made it pretty obvious what I was going for in regard to Lucent and Celestia. I could see PC doing something like this in canon, too, so I have no idea why some people are so on my back about it. Thanks to those that liked but some of you need to get a grip... I've had to delete way too many comments.

Comments

[UnknownError]

A genius series of snippets straight out of Tyrantlestia Fic #853 from 2012. Have a like.

[Mystic Sunrise]

No. Celestia would never do something like this. Only in Tyrantlestia fics perhaps. I haven't heard a damn thing to convince me otherwise.

And frankly, this needs to be a properly long story for me to care more.

[Kodeake]

Alright, I admit that was way more intelligent than I thought on first glance. Something was bothering me about this after my first reading, and it wasn't until a second reading that it all actually clicked in my head with the A/N's. This was actually really good! And a very good fit for the experimental theme. Best of luck in the contest!

[SparklingTwilight]

I do not really see Celestia speaking in such a cruel way, but that said: a hilarious idea to make a Cliff's Notes-like snippet adventure.

[RB_]

I dunno what everyone’s talking about, this seems like a perfectly canon Celestia to me!

Very amusing… even if it seems like not everyone is getting the joke. Best of luck in the competition!

[Appleody]

So Celestia was the one behind it? Was she looking for a replacement or something? She seems like she wanted Lucent to succeed.

Part of me thought something was possessing Celestia and it went over to Lucent, when she mentioned the vessel thing.

Anyways, I enjoyed the unusual style of this story. It felt frantic and clearly purposefully keeps the big picture from you.

[Moonlight Eclipse]

That was amazing!

[Mr Swanky Hat]

11608442
I think you are missing the implication in what "Celestia" said.

[Mystic Sunrise]

11609495
Obviously, cause I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Mr Swanky Hat]

11609515

A vessel that couldn't even subjugate one little town? Only a fool would use your body as a replacement.

[Mystic Sunrise]

11609585
Still sounds like Celestia wanted to steal Lucent's body for herself.

[6-D Pegasus]

oh well that's definitely unexpected

[Sorven9]

I'm confused is there a specific reason the story is jumping so many chapters there seems to be a few gaps in the story.

[Bicyclette]

Celestia shook her head. "A vessel that couldn't even subjugate one little town? Only a fool would use your body as a replacement." She sighed. "Now I must find another foal with acceptable strength."

ah, such unsubtle villainy! 

---

so there are three layers i see here, which are the very straightforward adventure/thriller story, the “twist” of Celestia’s motivations here, and the artlessness of said twist reflecting a less developed author, perhaps a commentary on or pastiche of the early fandom. i do love metatextual things like that, but i also wonder if i am missing something from the above. thank you for writing!

[Climaclysm]

Thank you to all commenters/readers!

11697808
With everything all said and done, I added on to a BLOG if you'd like to see all I was going for.

[FanOfMostEverything]

I’ve seen several entries that felt more like scenes taken from larger stories, but this is the first time that feeling was deliberate. Fascinating glimpses at the larger narrative and good stuff overall. I’ve never been big on Tyrantlestia, but I am left intrigued to see where you might go with this. Thank you for it.