The stranger lives here now. I wish he'd go away.
An entry for the Thousand Words contest. Stop screaming. This is serious.
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[hide message]Cars are still parked outside. If the rapture had happened, why was it unrecognizable? Why was the sky blue? Why did no one tell me? Do these things not announce themselves?
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don't really understand the ending but ok
A good story is a story you can't keep out of your head. That goes for authors and readers and this definitely hits the mark for me as a reader.
Nice!
11640144
Yeah I’m not sure what I’m missing but I can’t figure it out either.
I don't quite follow, for a minute I thought the stranger was alcoholism or something but that don't quite add up, maybe it's cause it's late and I'm not quite thinkin str8 enuff to figure this out
...What the Tartarus was that all about?
Spooky, but at the same time a bit hard to follow.
Forgive me if I'm way off, but is this supposed to reference Granny Smith?
I'm trying to figure this out. I'm catching that the white, green, and earthy is mold, but it's also Granny Smith maybe? Is the stranger death? Decay? Rot? Cancer? They dug up Granny Smith's body then Big Mac murdered his father, Bright Mac? I'm not sure I really understand the cherry pit imagery, either. Is it just a reference to their cousin's death, or is there some wider meaning I'm not understanding?
I suppose what I'm getting at is that I really like this story, but it's confusing as heck.
Well, tried to look for a metaphor with the stranger, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. Still, this was very evocative and creepy.
i liked the horror of it - but what it means or what the metaphor is eluding to is beyond me.
well that is certainly disconcerting!
extremely disconcerting
and ooh, Granny Smith as a stranger that was never there before? the “light green and white” thing that was growing before. reading back, then
reads as agreeing to burn the evidence that Mom and Dad were around long after their deaths in what was presented to us in the canon. so the ends of the stranger were to replace the existence of Big Mac’s parents with a false history to explain the presence of Granny Smith, who herself is the source of some strange inconsistencies in the canon timeline anyway. that is a very fascinating idea, and the uneasy atmosphere is well-rendered. though i admit i’m not sure what the significance of cherry pits are here besides the imagery of a sweet, blood-colored fruit surrounding a hard pit that can kill you (or is that it?). anyway, thank you so much for writing!
Fascinating and certainly horrifying. Concrete answers are the anathema of most horror—understanding something makes it that much less scary unless you know there’s truly nothing you can do about it—but this still might have been too vague for its own good. It’s a gripping downward spiral, yes, but I feel I’m missing the deeper meaning. Still, thank you for it and congrats on the judge prize.
Hello! A belated courtesy note for my review of this. Not for the first time from you, I got a little frustrated with the opaqueness. However, there was a very clear sense of unease and (if this is a word) disconcertingness throughout. Enough for an upvote despite my slight frustration.
I am not entirely certain about what happens throughout the story, but having it be Granny Smith at the end is really cool.