Protocol K.I.N.O.*
A shitty day dawned on Equestria.
In her castle, Princess Luna was having some tea with one of the Canterlot noblestallions. It was just protocol, really, but it wasn't as bad as she expected.
"Why, Lord Bleeding," she started "You are much more agreeable than most of the fops from the capital. We are most honored by your presence."
Lord Bleeding took a sip from his cup, and answered:
"Thank you, Your highness. I must say, being your guest is...
But he couldn't finish his sentence, as a changeling appeared behind him, and started munching on his head. Lord Bleeding slowly collapsed among screams of agony, bleeding out, as Luna hesitated to shot, fearing she might hit the stallion instead.
"OH MY GOODNESS!" Luna bellowed. "DEFCOLT 1! DEFCOLT 1!"
Luna grabbed a slice of toast in her mouth, as she didn't have anymore time to eat it, and galloped to her emergency changeling room. There, she spitted out the toast, and fired up her communication gem.
A visage of Celestia's chambers appeared, but there was no sight of her sister. Instead, a maiden came into view.
"Quick! I need to speak to my sister, fast!"
"Oh, I am so sorry, Princess, but Her Highness is in the shower, and I really wouldn't want to interrupt!" said the maiden sheepishly.
"But this is an emergency! There is no time! You must contact her NOW!"
"In that case, I can try. What should I-AAAAAIIIIIAAAAGHHHHH!!!!"
The poor maiden was cut short by a changeling jumping on her, and tearing out her throat. Luna could hear the death throes before she cut the transmission.
"By the ancients, this is just like last time! During the wedding of the little pink whore! I must go to Canterlot at once!"
But before that, Luna pushed a button on the wall, and the machinery of the room (it was Rarity's design) put on her clown outfit. Luna stared into the mirror on the wall.
"No, that's not it. I need my "saving Equestria" outfit!"
Luna pushed the button again, and she was changed into her Gala gown. Then came another try, and her "Slayer Moon" cosplay appeared on her.
"NO!"
One final button push, and she was changed back into her usual regalia.
"Ah, perfect! Ready to go!" she thought out loud, and left.
Luna took flight, and began towards Canterlot, but it quickly came to her mind she can actually teleport, and did so.
With a loud "Pop!", Princess Luna appeared on Celestia's balcony. She looked around, and the damn 'lings already did a number on the city. She moved inside, to find her sister. She wasn't inside her room.
Of course, she must have already took the fight to them.
She left the room, and galloped down to the lower levels of the castle. There was fire, destruction, dead royal guards, weapons strewn about, the usual scenery.
Luckily, in the corridor she was walking, Celestia came right at her.
"Sister, it's so good to see-" Luna said, and suddenly stopped. "Wait, how do I know you are really you?!"
Luna lit up her horn, and asked:
"Tell me, my dear sister: What was the best cake you ever ate? Describe it to me."
"Really Chrysalis, that's the best you can do?" came the answer, and Celestia's horn lit up too.
"Wh-what?! I am not..."
"If you are indeed Luna, tell me your most embarrassing foalhood memory!"
"AHHH! No way! I'll never tell that, never ever! I'd rather get shot, or get banished even!"
Celestia chuckled at her suddenly agitated sister: "Checks out! And my most favorite cake is Pinkie Pie's monstrosity with the donuts, éclairs, and chocolate mousse. Yum!"
"Checks... Out." Luna gagged, then added "Let's go. We have to find Chrysalis before it's too late."
Celestia nodded an affirmative, and now together, they began towards the exit of the castle. They took a shortcut through the throne room, and galloped down the corridor leading up to it, when suddenly, changelings. Luna could almost hear the record scratch.
Changeling platoons trapped them from both sides. And Chrysalis was among them. There was no escape.
"You didn't think could just run, hm, my little princesses?" Chrysalis cackled "Soon, my changeling army will take over Canterlot. Then, all of Equestria! But first, I will deal with YOU!"
Hearing that, Celestia got a strange feeling of déja vu. At that moment, she already stood back-to-back with Luna, ready for anything.
"Well Luna," she spoke "I guess this time you really won't miss anything."
"Is there anything you wanna do with your pathetic lives before you depart?" Chrysalis asked, voice filled with sinister malice.
"Yes." came the answer from Luna "I wanna ROCK!"
That was the cue for Celestia, who pushed the hidden button just under her hooves. Loudspeakers emerged from the walls between the windowpanes, from the ceiling, and from the ground too. In a few moments, it was all loudspeakers. The changelings got rightfully confused. Chrysalis, too. The next moment, metal music started blaring from the speakers. so loud, that the stained glass windows broke everywhere. The changelings initially couldn't react, It was just too loud. Audio attack!
"Ready, my sister of most sophisticated musical tastes?" Luna glanced back.
"Ready, my absolutely twisted little sister!" came the answer.
Both of them flared their wings, and jumped off from the ground. They descended upon all the scared drones and warriors, and shouted in unison:
"CHANGELING MOSH PIT, GO!"
Sitting upon his throne of clouds, the Creator of Absolutely Everything was reading a book written in a nonexistent language. He turned over another page, sighing at the book's lack of quality. Good thing he was almost at the end by then.
One of his seraphs appeared, handing over a big box to him, with the usual "EPS" stamp on it. He opened it, and levitated out the mangled parts of a huge changeling. He sighed again, and threw the parts on the top of the pile.
"Ah, these two..."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Ravensmith · 2.7k words · 12 0 · 270 views
- RB_ · 1000 words · 52 0 · 749 views
- tailsopony · 3.5k words · 21 2 · 311 views
- SparklingTwilight · 4.4k words · 9 1 · 350 views
- tailsopony · 1.1k words · 28 1 · 218 views
- publiq · 1000 words · 13 0 · 222 views
- Reviewfilly · 4.5k words · 24 0 · 268 views
- Equimorto · 1000 words · 18 0 · 362 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.257 seconds
Total duration
923 users online
413,739 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
K-kino...
I gotta say this one really did crack me up. Good shit, in both meanings of the word, I hope the judges will appreciate it.
I kinda want to adapt it as canon in the work that I am writing, can I? Luvit
Is... is this a c-crackfic!?
Aaaaa!
Save me jannyman!
11601030
Thanks. But it's not like I'd want or could challenge you. It's always the artsy-feelsy-deepy stuff that win in these contests anyway. I just wrote this for fun, and if there's a contest, like why not, but I don't intend to win or anything.
11601038
Only if it's cringe. But go ahead.
11601070
That's super flattering, but you're vastly underselling yourself. I couldn't write something like Gleaming's adventures. (Plus there are different categories anyways, my le trees are in SoL, yours would fit in Comedy. I think you should nominate it just for giggles.)
11601062
I wonder how the janitor's cat is called.
That got a laugh, especially imagining it in her voice.
11601086
I'm not going on a humility contest with you, so I just gonna say thanks.
>Gleaming
Too bad I'm not actually writing that one right now, and it's *Glitter anyway, but thanks for the continued interest! That story might also come out one day. But before that, everyone will get some more duo-alicorn action.
11601139
I think I'll go and find myself a nice deep hole to hide in. Sorry, I've no clue why I messed up the name.
I am glad to see, however, that this is still coming around.
Um in the authors notes was that the song used?
... Well. That happened. Take your damn upvote and fav.
11601093
This.
11601206
I really don't wanna explain the joke here. I mean, the ending of the story provides such good clues. Or I'm just too much of a boomer?
And KINO just means kino.
KINO
I see they went the route of the first SpongeBob mo vie as their solution. Awesome.
that would indeed make it difficult to finish one’s sentence
animé
i do wonder what Rarity thinks of her machinery being used to put on clown outfits
if i were Chrysalis that would indeed be my response to such a challenge
aww, self-deprecating meta is always fun
well that certainly was something! reminds me of the fanfics i read as a child way back in the day. thank you for writing!
There’s something weirdly hilarious about censoring profanity in the title, only to deploy it in the very first sentence of the story.
She said, apparently not in Canterlot despite having just been speaking to a member of its nobility.
In all, this one fell flat for me. A passable attempt at sisterly banter, but overall this just felt like random flailing in the hopes that comedy would somehow happen. I regret to inform you that for the most part, it did not. Not for me anyway; such is the peril of such a subjective experience.
The synopsis hinted of a schizo comedy, and it sure lived up to expectations. In fact, I found the Twisted Sisters to be a laugh.
11813044
Why can't I upvote a comment more than once?! Finally, someone got that reference!
I was starting to think I was too subtle with that one, but luckily, us boomers are still around, eh?
11816619
I actually haven't much knowledge (or music) about them, but I do play a lot of music on my comp, all kinds of stuff, and the two in my playlist are awesome. It's well deserving of a cool fanfic to go.