• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 23 minutes ago

SonicBlitz18


A rocking brony with a love for crossover and adventure. Currently part time in college

Sequels1

Comments ( 36 )

You really have a tendency to piss twilight a lot whenever Spike has lots of sex. :applejackunsure:

11526248
Maybe she's jealous it wasn't her.

I think there should be one. I've noticed more stories on here crossing over with HB. I think it would be smart of the admins to add one. I'm sure there's more than a few authors that would support adding that tag.

Damn, I'm already planning an entry with futa Smolder that's similar to this premise. I won't read this till after all the entries are in, so hopefully it'll be different enough from your entry 😅

That was very fun to read.
I think this is the first story where Spike banged Loona.
What hot action will happen if Loona and Princess Luna ever meet?

This is the kind of crossover I never would've imagined, but while reading it feels so incredibly natural.

As a ship, it's adorable; Spike and Loona have weirdly similar upbringings and their clashing personalities make for great comedic potential. And sexually, it's just darn hot: two repressed hormone-fueled anthro beasts trying to one-up the other and prove they're in control. I'm always a sucker for "tables-turned" smut scenarios but I don't know of many that've been written with Loona (didn't expect to have that itch scratched on FimFiction, of all sites, but it's a nice surprise!)

So yeah, big thumbs up! I eagerly await part dos. :rainbowwild:

You are amazing. So whats that pic you wanted to use.

Glad to see this out, by the way. Loved working the dialogue between Spike and Loona, was fun to write a total bitch. Can't wait to get on the sequel stories.

11526354
By the same artist but it was fresher, Sadly, I couldn't use it since it was over the limit for the pics, even when I tried to tone it down.

11526477

I can actually answer that for you. It's Tailzkim, I realized their art style. :pinkiehappy:

11526477
Tailzkim is his name.

11526400
Yes, it was fun writing the story. I cannot wait for the sequels either.

They are helluva fun to plan out

First Loona fic
Very nice Sonic

I hope there’s a second story to this

11527025
I think they're just thrown off by who spike is being shipped with

11527117
There is a plan for one. And another.

A masterpiece I say. A masterpiece.
Can't wait for part 2

“You’re fucked Spike…” she managed to say as she was about to teleport to him, only to stop as she noticed a set of clothes that were on the floor at the moment. She looked down to see what looked to be a skimpy crop top and shorts on the floor. “Whose clothes are these?”

You are to blame too, you know! :ajbemused:

“I was born as an experimental test for children to get into magic kindergarten, and was basically adopted as a pet for the family that hatched me.”

Loona’s stride slowed a bit as her ears swiveled around to hear him.

“The closest person I had to a birth mother could only see me once a week, and even then, I could only get a few minutes before she left the country for errands. The pony that hatched me was barely old enough to use the bathroom on her own, and the family that raised me fed me out of a bowl on the floor until I learned to walk upright. They didn’t even know I could speak until I was three. When I learned to walk, they started using me like a beast of burden, carrying shit for them everywhere we went. When they found out how hard my scales are, the pony that hatched me started testing her magic on me. Then, they started sending me on errands that would have hurt or killed a pony because it was more convenient for them to send me instead. I’ve been berated, used as a tool, and treated like a lesser being for almost my entire childhood. So yeah, I do know where you’re coming from. I mean, I still live under the roof of the mare who hatched me.”

You seriously need to have that talk to Twilight and the others about that. 😡

Twilight and the others AREN'T truly the "heroes" they ought to be. Hypocrites I tell you.

11528122
Oh yeah because when someone unexpectedly raids your fridge and steals your alcohol, you're responsible for all of their actions they take while drunk.

11528397
She should have labeled it to let them know what it was

11528423
There's the fact that she didn't bother reading it and just assumed it was alcohol.

11528423
It was labeled, but she just ignored it and drank it anyway.

11528397

Well, Sunset didn't label it as being "Not Alcohol, Don't drink this." And just wrote that it was a potion. Of course, she can not tell what the potion really is to everybody else, for obvious reasons. :twilightblush:


11528423

Exactly.

11528424
11528447

Touche.

11528657
what's sad is, i forgot that part, and i remember when we wrote that part.

“Or better yet, some freaky furry fanatic found me…” she groaned in annoyance as she then turned toward the screen, the prying eyes that were glancing at her in shock seeing her glaring back at them. “That’s right, I’m talking to all you perverts out there reading this!” She growled then focused back on her current surroundings.

Talk all the shit you want, you can’t undo the r34, and I wasn’t shocked, I was grinning ear to ear

11527985
Thanks I helped out only a little, but I did come up with the title. It was supposed to be a play on the words "Drag me to hell."

“Or better yet, some freaky furry fanatic found me…” she groaned in annoyance as she then turned toward the screen, the prying eyes that were glancing at her in shock seeing her glaring back at them. “That’s right, I’m talking to all you perverts out there reading this!” She growled then focused back on her current surroundings.

Yeah fuck you too loona

Good first part!

“Alright, that’s it!” Millie says, dragging out a machete from somewhere unseen and slamming it through a wall. “Ah’ve had enough of your shit for today! Here we are tryin’ to help you and yer dad by keepin’ this shit show of a business from fallin’ flat, and what do we get for bein’ nice to you? Constant bullshit! Moxxie ain’t done nothin’ ta deserve any of yer shit talk! It ain’t his fault yer lovelife’s fucked up, and not in a fun way!”

I love how you made Millie's accent come out when she got angry

“By the sun!” He groaned as she licked his cock like a lollipop, her tongue dancing over his ridges and his knot. “This is incredible!”

That one time Spike became Solaire

This is your official review for the Furry Foray Festival Contest!

I've tried to be as objective as possible, but of course there are limits. I've tried to avoid being biased or arbitrary as much as I can, and hopefully I've succeeded at least somewhat. The full, final results will be announced on May 4th, and winners will be contacted shortly afterward to ask how they would like to accept their prizes. When readings these comments, please keep in mind that I know I'm often overly critical -- to the point where I can always find nitpicks even with the greatest works of literature. So don't take anything personally!

Notes:
- “‘Sigh’, if you say so,” Twilight added She actually said 'Sigh'?
- Anybody else the the license plate Much 'the'... (Also, this is kind of a cliche.)
- “That’s right, I’m talking to all you perverts out there reading this!” She growled "She" should be lowercase.
- Loona lunged out with her fist raised and threw a haymaker at the individual at the door. Her fist connects, but she finds that it’s her hand that hurts. Her eyes shrank into pinpricks as she recoiled in pain. Randomly changing verb tenses.
- Spike's rant about how shitty his life has been doesn't seem to really track with what we've actually seen of him in the show, but okay.
- This feels like a fairly long and convoluted setup ... for not all that much gain. That's fine, I guess ... but it definitely could have been a shorter, more efficient story. Especially since, in the end, all of this kind of gets thrown out the window anyway, because she just jumps on him due to potion effects.
- It sure seemed like Loona was way too irrational to be suddenly giving a cunnilingus lesson.
- he taste of blueberries hit his tongue, coming from the milk dripping from her tit. Okay, I get that clopfic writers are often ... creative with how they describe the taste of things. But blueberry milk? Seriously? WTF? Though ... I suppose it could be passed off as one of the effects of that potion.
- For a few paragraphs there, the word "cervix" was repeated way too often for comfort.
- “Shut. Up,” He growled as he stood there, glaring at her for several seconds, before he tossed her over to a nearby table. “And stay silent!!” These instructions are a bit repetitive, no?
- It’d been a week since Sunset and Twilight had been sent on a diplomatic mission They just left Spike to watch this portal for a fucking week? Did they expect that he wouldn't sleep during this time or anything?
- later!![‘ When the exclamation marks are so exclamatory that one of them becomes a square bracket...
- For all the extremes this fic goes to ... it still manages to feel pretty generic, as if I've read the same thing many times before. I guess some people like that kind of thing though, so I'm glad it exists for them.

Scores:
Provocativeness: 45
Progression: 85
Payoff: 60
Pacing: 45
Personality: 35
Prose: 40
Total: 310
For more information on what these scores mean, see the scoring rubric.

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