Curse Of the Succubus

shining paladin

shining paladin #1 · Dec 19th, 2021 · 1 · · Prologue ·

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awesome chapter mate keep it up can't wait for the next chapter

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom #2 · Dec 19th, 2021 · 1 · · Prologue ·

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Breast Sizes?

MyFairladyZ

MyFairladyZ #3 · Dec 19th, 2021 · 4 · · Prologue ·

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Countless times I have seen her milky breasts in all their glory whenever she lifts her arms too much, dragging the fine line of silk up with them.
Wait. Why is this section in the first person?
Finally her exposed midriff underneath her long loincloth covering her nethers since she isn't wearing anything underneath it. It is regal, it is scandalous, it is beautiful and provocative all at the same time. She knows she's hot... and she knows how to use it.
I think the loincloth is supposed to be under the exposed midriff. Also, this section is in the present tense. Aren't you writing this story in the past tense?
Sunset was another story for her case. After her ascension into an alicorn she became a pure goddess of light. She has to be, there's no other explanation. She's wearing a ceremonial toga, though it has been heavily modified to show off her voluptuous body. A parted dress covers her legs, though she can move freely at any time she wants. Two small rings hold together the two straps of cloth that keep her large mammaries in place, barely covering her tender areolas and nipples; both straps connecting to a third ring located on the choker around her neck. And the bracelets covering her wrists? Merely a formality.
The highlighted lines are in the present tense here.
Where Celestia had gold and gems, Luna possessed silver and amethyst.
Isn't amethyst technically a gem? What's the difference?
“Well, for instance, odd sensations in either your body or magic while attending normal everyday tasks? A twinge of something here and there, maybe a bit of… hot flashes? The need to undress, and perhaps even starting eyeing the ponies around you a bit differently?”
"Starting" may be redundant here.
“It wasn’t on purpose, I’ve just been feeling so aggressive lately, that the only reason I stopped was because of Auntie Luna waking me up. When I realized what happened, Shining Armor was almost a prune, and he told me that he couldn’t feel his lower half,” she added.
Yeesh. I hope she didn't paralyse him.😰
“I had to teleport him to the Canterlot infirmary,” Luna added. “It was hard to keep it under wraps with the state he was in. He had to be put in a full body cast just to heal and replenish his fluids. I had to keep the thing under wraps, but some stallions had to jump the gun and say that Cadance was a little too rough with him.”
There's some repetition here.
It cannot be broken nor passed down, and must be appeased.
DId you mean, "or"?

zachary12

zachary12 #4 · Dec 19th, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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nice work look forward to more on this and my top3 faves

Deltafire34

Deltafire34 #5 · Dec 19th, 2021 · 2 · · Prologue ·

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11088874
Unfortunately he has a habit of rushing out his stories without properly reading it. He even repeats the same thing after every paragraph

Fictionfan100

Fictionfan100 #6 · Dec 19th, 2021 · 2 · · Prologue ·

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What original series is this a spin off from?

Darth_krayt

Darth_krayt #7 · Dec 20th, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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We all have but one choice we must take the long dark Road of Moria be on your guard there older thing than Orcs in the Deep places of the world drums drums in the Deep

Kaiman44

Kaiman44 #8 · Dec 20th, 2021 · 1 · · Prologue ·

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Nice, can’t wait for more!

DragonPony

DragonPony #9 · Dec 20th, 2021 · 4 · · Prologue ·

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Well it looks like someone is going to ruin their marriage. She is going to try to justify it anyway she can. Like any husband would be happy to hear that his little brother has slept and possibly knocked up their wife after their wife almost killed them. Oh yea I am sure Shining will be totally cool with this.

Herald of Opera

Herald of Opera #10 · Dec 20th, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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11088984
Gotta go fast!

Necrogen Lord

Necrogen Lord #11 · Dec 20th, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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I love lore and I'm always happy to lend a hand at worldbuilding.

Deltafire34

Deltafire34 #12 · Dec 20th, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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11090066
Cute....

Greenhorn

Greenhorn #13 · Dec 21st, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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“As soon as Twilight wakes up, we’ll fill her in on what we need to do. I just hope that Spike is willing to help us with this more awkward situation.”

You probably need to get permission from his girlfriend first (if he has any).

Sand Storm

Sand Storm #14 · Dec 30th, 2021 · · · Prologue ·

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Nice story, and where you get that cover art from?

SonicBlitz18

SonicBlitz18 #15 · Dec 30th, 2021 · 1 · · Prologue ·

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11101305
Found it online by typing Succubus Tattoo

Sand Storm

Sand Storm #16 · Dec 30th, 2021 · 2 · · Prologue ·

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11101334
Alright, cool. Design looks awesome.

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom #17 · Mar 24th, 2022 · · · Prologue ·

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11088780

No answer yet.

ThePerverted1EyedBrony

ThePerverted1EyedBrony #18 · May 18th, 2022 · 3 · · Prologue ·

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Okay, this author seems to write amazing stories, then abandon them when they seem to get good. Not an insult, just an observation. But still, I can't wait to see more of this, and other stories I've read by this author if they decide to continue this.

Cliffjumper2468

Cliffjumper2468 #19 · Jul 3rd, 2022 · 3 · · Prologue ·

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Hey SonicBlitz18, just checking. When is this story going to be updated again? Other readers and I really want to see what you are going to do with it.

DarkSpider