• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


A rocking brony with a love for crossover and adventure. Currently part time in college


Comments ( 151 )
Comment posted by PuzzleMaster98 deleted Nov 1st, 2017

Just. WOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That got intense. Cant wait for the villains to get involved.

Pinkie moaned as her nails were leaving deep scratches in Spike’s scales. Bullets don't do a thing, she ain't leaving scratches.

Also Rainbow Dash and Pinky were removed from the room twice.

AND you, Starlight, and me will work FULL time until we find a way to ensure Spike does not kill a mare when having sex.” Starlight should be trixie 90% sure.

Fun to read and you developed a plot first before starting the fuck fest, which is nice. Fluttershy seems to have gotten less time than the other girls, notably. Overall though, I look forward to the rest, but I must say this could really benefit from a proofreader or 2. There's a lot of small errors. In the grand scheme of the size of the work it's pretty good to only have as many as you did, but fixing them is always better since they do make the reader stop and scratch there head.

It wasn't easy editing this thing. Of course we're gonna miss some things. Thanks for the feedback.

That was Twilight talking to Trixie on how they were going to work together.

I’m putting this in my favorites are yu writing the next chapter I like to see how this ends once it’s over

friend you really feel something for big breasts, it's not true

out of that I have a couple of questions One, Celestia Luna and Candace will come out in this story.

two, each how much you will update is decei you will publish chapters.


It was definitely good, I have another question. scenes xxx will contain dirty language.

also you will divide the mane 7 and trixi by chapters and you will put all in a single cap.

you should make these chapters shorter

That's fair enough.

8525684 Don't get sore. Trust me, I've had my stuff looked over, pointed out, criticized, and even hated very vocally. Take what you can that's useful from anywhere, even the biggest assholes. I don't expect it to be prefect, and this size is far from new or special to me. I suggest finding a 2nd proofreader because at that point you'll catch 95% of the mistakes usually. I'm not interested myself (too much to do), but there's usually a lot of helpful people on this site who enjoy assisting authors where they can.

Final note, do chapters based on what feels right for the chapter. I think these are pretty perfectly sized how they are. They cut off clean but leaving wanting more.

Thanks. And I'm not the one picking out where the Chapters End, Sonicblitz does that

The... The Man-Emperor listened to my prayers... I am happy!

Well it was separated to be separate from both statements, largely cause it had to do with someone else's comment.

Man, it really easy to tell when the author watches way too much Hentai!:ajbemused:

Let's continue.:moustache:



that anyone who likes the idea supports me.

by the way I thought it would only be one mare per chapter but here we saw 4.

Finally you are a god fucking for the fic, save oh almighty SonicBlitz18. I can not wait for the next chap and by the way it is not cuddly to Madness bookman. the long chapters are great.

sorry for my bad english

Well, errors aside, that was hot. Now I've hoping by the end of this, Spike gets a growth spurt somewhere between his two sizes, and that Applejack and Fluttershy are pregnant!:moustache::yay::ajsmug:

Great Googly Moogly!!!!!!

Aren't dragons double penal?

That leaves Rarity, Twilight, Starlight, Trixie, Stripes, Calm Breeze, and the 3 villain mares.

Spike needs height... SOON.

I know Dash sacrificed herself, but I can't help but think, that she's just being a pervert.

Well 4 mares knocked up, 9 more to go. Am I right SonicBlitz18? C:

Modest EE cup breasts? So your basically going for breasts larger then their torso's?

Man, this was hard to write. But it was fun. Hope y'all enjoy it. :pinkiehappy:

Dragons absorb magic right? Eve absorbing it internally?

never understood my soft music = sexy Always felt it better with more beat for that bass

wonderful simply wonderful

so is the implication all the spent mares are getting pregnent or just applejack? also couldn't using the succubus spell make twilight able to finish this with it augmenting her alicorn stamina?

wet from his earlier fun with both Shy and Rarity, Should be Shy and Applejack.

That was hot. Looks like we're near the end, I'm a little sad. I'm sure it's gonna be hot too though and I'm looking forward to it.

This marks seven mares off my list with a least six more to go.

Six?!?!.... there’s is only Twilight let’s????

modest EE cup breast

There is nothing modest about a EE cup

Other than the grammar this fix is good.
Maybe find someone to edit it.

My eyes widened in realization as everything clicked in my head all at once and i looked at Trixie’s hat once more.


“That’s what I was afraid of, girls look at this.” He went and placed the comic book in the center of the table. “Look what Mare-Do-Well and Dazzling Mage do.” Spike explains as he shows the girls toe comic. He explained how the creator had heard about Mare-Do-Well in Ponyville, and he had made her into a different character with a more darker backstory. Mare-Do-Well’s parents were killed when she was a child so she vowed to stop all criminals where no one would suffer the same fate she did. She used her family’s wealth to create Mare-do-Well and became the caped crime fighter she is now. For Dazzling Mage, she gained her powers from a lab accident where she worked. A few chemicals followed by an explosion, she somehow miraculously survived and found out she had the ability to cast illusions and fire energy blasts. Spike then turned to the page where Mare-Do-Well and Dazzling mage were captured.


“Sure.” Spike nodded. “Fluttershy is the Saddle Rager, a mare that can get incredible huge and strong when angry, Pinkie is Filli-Second, the fastest…”


I have to say that the idea for a clop story is very unique, so far i only found 1 that used the character and her Power Pony persona this way. And the sex scenes are just mhm... juicy and hot as hell!
However there are a few cons here: The oversized bodyparts is just kinda....eh (shrugs) i guess we're going on hentai logic here.
And the whole cuminflation is just... silly,ridiculous and laughable sometimes, i mean just the amount that was pumped into the girls is ludicrous! HOW DO THEY NOT EXPLODE AFTER SO MUCH ?! i just dont get how people can like something like this. (i know its a fetish but stil...)
Now dont get me wrong having a girl covered in jizz can be very erotic, and i know it was explained how hes able do stuff like that and the setting also helps make the situations more believable but the cuminfl. thing is just an immersion breaker, i think it would've been fine without it.
So far its a solid read and ill be sticking around till the end, the clop parts are just waaaay to good to pass up.

Yeah. Trust me guys. That lesbian chapter took 2 nights to do.

Also, I noticed a few grammatical errors. NOthing big, but still, when fixed they could help the story flow smoother.

“Good, in that case GO GET DRESS IMMEDIATELY!! AND I SWEAR CALM BREEZE, IF I FIND YOU NAKED IT ONE MORE TIME, I’M THROWING YOU RIGHT AT HUMDRUM’S DICK MYSELF!!!” Stripes says in anger making her assistant jump from the outburst and rushing to a locker where she finds a third change of clothes witch she wish will be the last one she will ever need.

That's just offering it to the Dragon Devil.

I really wonder what will happen the Mane 6 when they return to their world? Any lingering effects?

Trust me, i helped write this. There will be more!

You will just have to wait and see!!

She an arch enemy of Mistress Mare-velous and an assassin for hire.

I really want to have HumDrum get his kicks on the three villians...Mane-iac made that quip with Dr. Stripes and that that 'dildo up her butt cheeks' comment...and after realizing what they did (obviously they didn't expect nor plan for an over-powered horny dragon after all), it's about time for Spike/Humdrum to get his on them.

....not to mention it would be a good lesson to not overlook the sidekicks...Plus, I don't know why, but I have a weird feeling that one of the villianesses--my bit's on Mane-iac, personally--start to have a bit a crush on Humdrum, particularily that in a bit, the evil mares will experience a overly-horny (and frankly, REALLY pent-up adolescent) dragon first hand. Let's be honestly--they can't help but think of how much potential Humdrum really has to EITHER side, just needs the right catalyst.

And Sorry to the others, even though they have feelings for Spike, I think this is Twilight's ways to express how she really feels about Spike as more than a brother...So even though he's pined for Rarity for so long, I truly could see Spike staying with Twilight after all this is done as more as a couple...

this is a very sexy story. I like it a lot. the lesbian action was hot too. I was attracted when it's going to have tribadsim, fucking hot to me. The story is well written.

You did phenomenal on the lesbian parts. good on ya. I really can't wait to see more of your amazing work. Take it slow and be thorough with your work.

Also, if anything, I might have an idea that might be an interest to you guys. if you don't know, Dragons can have 2 dicks, so double the pleasure if anything, but hey, this is just an idea. It's your story, so no worries of you ignore it.

Either way, I love this, and I'll be tracking it. Keep working hard and stay frosty. Sorry had to say it. ^^

Well, the story is his. I just did what he asked me to do.

And thanks.

That was my first attempt at a lesbian scene.

that was your first attempt? Wow. Jesus, you got skill man. I'm impressed.

Thanks man, but SonicBlitz came up with the idea. I just wrote it. Took several days to do, BTW

patcience and focus are the main keys to making a good scene in a clop story, and you mastered that well with the instructions.


Have you read my own stories BTW?

Login or register to comment