The world is dark. But the sun still rises.
The world is quiet. But the moon’s tides pull on.
The world is cold. But there is still warmth in Ponyville.
Placed fourth in the /PJ2023/ competition!
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 23rd Jul, 2012
- offline last seen 25 minutes ago
Odd_Sarge
Literally, Reckless. Ponies give this sorrel mare purpose. Be kind. Be happy. Be a good pony. 🐎 1948 - 2024
Odd_Sarge
Joined 23rd Jul, 2012 ·
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Now how did Applejack end up playing the part of Charon? I'm sure she'd like to know as well. But answers seem to have gone along with everypony else.
"The cold would know" is a deliciously ominous phrase. I'm going to have to turn the thermostat up a couple of notches.
Excellent stuff as always. You tell more with ambiguities and implications than some entire epics could
Perhaps I'm simply fabricating ambiguity in a place where there wasn't supposed to be any, but I kinda have to wonder whether the two remaining Apples are the punishers or the punished. Either way, nicely done with this!
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Thank you. Happy to see the open-ended nature of this one still had the substance I wanted it to have. Glad you liked it!
nightmare moon timeline, isn't it?
Whoa 😳 where you come up with this idea
That's kinda dark. Literally and figuratively
Also, forgot to note. This is a unique turn of phrase that I'm shocked I haven't seen before
This is so poetic. I love it.
Dang, I love these sort of mysterious, open-ended tales
The story builds suspense and mystery exceedingly well, and for such a short oneshot, it definitely evoked a feeling or two. I like that while "what's going on?" is fairly obvious at the end, there are still some parts of the backstory that I can only guess at.
It seems pretty obvious that Applejack is acting as some kind of exorcist, burning corpses to help the stranded souls, the wisps flying above Ponyville, move on to the afterlife. The town is clearly abandoned by everypony else, and nobody is coming in or out. Seems like there was some sort of crisis which caused some of the ponies of Ponyville to escape before it was too late.
Ultimately I'm pretty sure the story is some metaphor for losing your loved ones. Burning the bodies is moving on, wisps and the cold are grief, empty pictures are half-forgotten memories of the dead, stuff like that. I might be extremely wrong though, I haven't read any other comments yet.
There are also some things I'm wondering about:
>why is it so cold, and why is Applejack so concerned with being warm? Is it symbolic, or is that part of what happened?
>why was the house ransacked? Did they need weapons? Fuel? Was there some kind of unrest before everypony died?
>Why does Applebloom not like sleeping "there"? The trees being gone would imply they've been there for a long time, but the story gives off the feeling they've just returned from somewhere.
>"But the pictures were empty." Is this implying that something literally removed ponies from the photos? My first assumption was that maybe the wisps are somehow tied to ponies within photos, or their posessions, but that makes no sense since the Apple sisters have gifts and memorabilia of other ponies just sitting right there.
Somber spooky is the best spooky. The mystery of the world is palpable and ominous, and I could definitely see this expanding into a wider story. Keep it up!
You might think that Spring might never truly wake at dawn here, not even to barely register that everyone are gone. Premise of everything slowly submerge under the blanket of night is ominous and compelling, just as everything that can be said about the Dark.
Of course, it brings its own changes
Well, in the blurb it says that "sun still rises", but it certainly doesn't read as if it matters much here, doesn't it?
Hello! Have a review. An unsettling little piece, which probably benefits from not explaining everything. Some interesting ideas in the comments here about what's going on, but I appreciated it anyway, so upvoted it is!
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Thanks a ton, Loganberry! Glad you had a good time with it!