• Member Since 23rd Jul, 2012
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The sorrel mare who lives for you. 🐎 Sergeant Reckless, 1948 - 2023



The kirins are a quiet folk. They tread lightly in their place among the stars, so lightly that they may well be silent, but they're there. Some consider their presence in the cosmic game a blessing. To others, an annoyance at most. What is certain is that they are peacemakers to all.

Searing Cold is a different kind of kirin, but he is still a peacemaker.

Even for a war machine on the run.

Thank you to NorrisThePony, for everything; and Shanaar, for creating Searing Cold.

Spotlighted on Equestria Daily.
Cover art by JedaySkayVoker.

Chapters (23)
Comments ( 101 )

Over the moon seeing this finally go live. Still such a great, worldbuilding-rich opener. It's going to be one hell of a ride

Intriguing setting and premise with a rare sci-fi flavour. Gonna keep an eye on this for sure! :moustache:

A promising start to what looks to be a fun romp through a gritty-not-grimdark sci-fi setting. I shall continue!

This story is really interesting. I'm curious to see how it goes. I kind of doubt it's just a small rogue group operating out of a single station. My guess is that they are a megacorp/government agency with its tentacles in all sorts of nasty spots.

I have a little trouble following the story at the moment, but still interesting, and I am looking forward to see what will happen next in the story. I wonder how Cold, a kirin prevent himself from turning into fire out of random moment of bursts of anger in his ship to not risk damage space instillations or ships, or even a space suit. Is it some medication, implant or some special meditation or conditioning, is he incapable to actually get properly angry maybe as a trade off to being able to travel in space? I wonder if her could burn his way out of their custody? Could he be a pony/kirin hybrid so he looks like a kirin but doesn't actually able to turn to fire?

Interesting chapter, we learn a little more about what happened to the Kirin's long isolationist history, and how their homeland had been devastated repeatedly, by war but also from minors, and were forced to seek out new lands for themselves. I wonder what was so valuable in their lands to want to mind illegibly and if it's linked to the kirin's in some ways. From the sound of it the Kirins culture has enforced a a complete control and repression of their anger, which apparently they couldn't actually control their fire magic, and went with the next best thing. I am guessing it was a very ostiary restrictive and sober life and l very boring in following a pacifist life style. I am guessing they either practice a lot of daily meditations sessions along with maybe developing an avoidance personality. Through I would guess they have to have some way to vent or channel their anger in constructive manners. I am guessing Cold's apparent lethargy it might actually be cause by the consumption of sedatives, if he rejected his kinds life style, if he doesn't follow a strict meditation regiment. I am guessing the first crew he had joined must have been for a very big surprise when Cold turned into a nirik, probably someone pissed him off for something or that the sudden freedom got him to neglect his meditation and overindulged on everything.

Looking forward to see more of this

Dang. The atmosphere here is spectacular. The way everything is described paints an excellent picture and there are lots of little one-off interactions -- stuff like Cold's interaction with the mare on the bus, "Technology had conquered the boundaries, but it could not replace the pegasus.", the note that ponies still prefer being around each other -- that make what could've been a gray, depressing world feel bright and friendly and distinctly ponyish.

hyperlink bouncing

That's an excellent turn of phrase.

“Would you like a demonstration?”

She hadn’t meant to let that slip.

It had been demanded of her.

Whoof. The implications.

The tortured war machine is cornered by those responsible for her and goes with non-lethal weapons? Definitely a ponyfic. I also like the characterization of Cold being so violence-averse he doesn't know the difference between lethal and non-lethal weaponry, because of course he's not interested in studying weapons.

(Although this does raise the question of why he has the guns at all. Maybe he got the Waste Peddler used, the guns came with it, and he never bothered cleaning the armory out.)

I wonder how much it cost to haul all that dirt into space, especially enough for it to have its own magic. Of course, on a station of half a million inhabitants, it's probably just a drop in the bucket. It's nice to see that being used; a lot of pony sci-fi stories just have "magic" stand in for "supertech" -- "How does the FTL drive work? Oh that's magic/supertech." -- and ignore the actual fantasy part of it.

Fokienia’s eyes came away, and life returned to her voice. “Why did they choose me?” she finished.

I suspect she wasn't "chosen" so much as "was randomly selected", although I could be wrong; Greenhooves' note that she has a strong connection to the earth is interesting, especially since she's never felt grass before. (Maybe she's a distant descendant of the Apples.)

She frowned. “And illusions?”

Cold laid a hoof on the counter and started tapping. “Old breed of magic given some new life. [...] It’s a fad. Too much nonsense in the mix.”

File this under "ideas I'm genuinely surprised I've never seen before". (Even if you move into a purely sci-fi setting and substitute "holograms" for "illusions".)

“Where have you been, Cold?”

Cold’s frown was locked-in, and his eyes focused on the road Fokienia was leading him on. It took a long moment before his curt response. “Where I’ve needed to be.”

I was wondering if we never heard what he was hauling because it was unimportant or because it was a surprise. Leaning towards the latter, now.

Bits to maintain the artificial leylines that kept his ship teleporting between the stars.


Time to see how the doctor reacts to a request like "every stimulant you have in supply" and whether he asks any of the many questions he'll doubtless have. Given the tone of the story so far, I wouldn't be surprised if Fokienia gets blindsided by arcane materials she didn't know existed.

I've been watching a lot of Breaking Bad recently, so the scene of "improper mixing makes bad chemicals" is rather familiar.

A pony with hyperplasma can operate at extended lengths in spite of severe physical harm. Penetrating trauma, grievous bodily damage, destruction of the nervous system.

Ooo, artificial krogan blood. Definitely something to follow up on.

Fokienia "intruding" on Cold's vision of Holly and home was nicely done. (Although I wonder if the choice of song, particularly “I believe in second chances, and that’s why I believe in you.”, was just a Mother reference or foreshadowing. Maybe Cold did something bad in his past.)

I loved the switch to minimalism at the end for the villains (or maybe mere antagonists, not villains). Almost zero description to make it feel cold, just enough description to still paint a picture. I've sometimes used that technique myself.

Shoot, the scene with Greenhooves was just... Mwah. Perfect. Cute. Now I'm worried something bad will happen to him because of Fokienia:rainbowlaugh:

Fokienia just asking for directions reminds me of "You just asked?" from The Bourne Identity. Simply solving problems like always makes me grin.

A warrant. A warrant for his arrest. Not just a fine, or a ban from station services: a straight, grimy, warrant. Deep down, a part of him was terrified. But another part of him… was proud. And it drowned out that terror from the deep. He’d never been one to callously dance around the law, but he did pilot circles around them. Cold was a courier, a captain, a pilot. Fokienia was a mare in dire need of deliverance, and the first pony he’d ever met that truly skimmed the law while seeking justice and absolution. As far as he could tell, Fokienia needed answers, and hope. If there was ever a time to question if he was doing the right thing, it was now.

Breaking the rules can be satisfying if those rules are unjust (or just plain stupid).

“How do you feel?”

She asked herself the same question. Among the myriad of artificial answers at her disposal, there was only one natural, organic outcome. “Alive.”

It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? Still loving the way you use earth pony magic.

“Boat’s as cute as ever, captain.”

“Based on previous encounters in the black, I’d hardly say I’m out of line.”

“Of course. You know I always have something for when I’m in your skies.”

Along with your lone Captain, methinks you're a tad inspired by Firefly.

Fokienia’s heart jostled giddily

That some magnificent prose right there.

“Well, we all have our pasts, captain. I’m not going to hold smuggling against you. Life outside of the core is all about opportunity, and we can’t help but reach out with our hooves and take it.” He paused, and lowered his outstretched hoof. “Or provide opportunity, as your case might entail.”

Easy forgiveness! Ponies! Also, Code did something technically illegal but morally right, didn't he?

Cold was impressed. Fokienia was, too, even if she didn’t really know what all of that entailed.

I giggled a little. "Wow, that's impressive! What is it?"

We were poking and prodding at all the mechanics of the universe, asking ourselves where magic came up short in Equestrian society, and if technology could pick up the slack.

Considering there have been three separate instances in the show where magic has been drained from Equestrian society and at least two where it's happened to individual ponies, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner. Also, the idea of magic not working the same everywhere in the universe is really nifty. And considering Cypress Station already uses a decent amount of magic in spite of magic being harder to use, I wonder what other habitats look like.

I just finished Hi-Fi Rush, so the bizarrely specific element of "philanthropic artificial limb project retooled into something sinister with a music-loving protagonist roped in by happenstance" is familiar. Now we just need a few fight scenes set to hard rock songs and we'll be good to go.

“I never asked for this.”

What a shame.

So we've got a mysterious directive, Cold possibly going into custody, Fokienia following a name, and the government maybe making some sort of move through the Project. (I say Cold possibly going into custody, because given Graham's attitude towards him, I'm wondering if it's more, "The Project is coming after you. Fokienia can take care of herself, you can't. I'm placing you under the marshal's protection.") Definitely see the story picking up.

In a different life, she could have lived here. Once more, she’d crossed paths with a pony who lived a good life.

It's the little things like this that make these characters so much fun to read about. So much said about Fokienia in only a few lines.

“Alfalfa and rye with maple butter spread.”

It's a rare but welcome occasion when a writer is able to successfully make pony food sound like the tastiest thing in the world

Resupplying her hardware was another chip in the coding of her life.

This was a cool line.

Cozy, relaxing chapter, and duly needed before shit inevitably hits the fan.


Goit. Can't believe I forgot about that. Too many stories just shrug off collateral.

“He’s helped me… in innumerable measure.”


The wooden floors extended further into the building. The mare, or whoever had built the place, had really gone all out on the wood.

You know, the station can grow trees just for a park. Maybe they're growing trees for lumber elsewhere and wood isn't as expensive as it would be in other habitats.

lavender rain

Or maybe purple rain, given Cold's love of music.

The cyborg looked down, half-expecting ruins. Instead of destruction, there was a used cloth napkin. The plate was totally clean, and the glass hadn’t even cracked slightly in the flurry of steel hooves.

When you want to eat everything, you want to eat everything. Breaking stuff gets in the way of eating.

Holly frowned. “I know my way around a wing-pistol. Let’s leave it at that.”

It's not going to be left at that, is it?

Hello there, Sundown. I'm suspicious she might not be working for the Project at the moment, if she was the one who told Fokienia to leave; time to see if that's true. (And how Cold's situation turns out.)


It's a rare but welcome occasion when a writer is able to successfully make pony food sound like the tastiest thing in the world

I've been meaning to skim through the Redwall books again for just this reason. The food in that series is generally pony food (with some extra fish) and there are entire chapters devoted to feasts that sound like heaven. (Author Brian Jacques grew up in post-WWII rationing in the UK and fantasized about the dishes in his aunt's illustrated Victorian cookbook.)

“Captain, I…” he turned away for a moment, his head hung low. Clearing his throat he came back around, trotting along the conference room floor. “Troubles for Cypress are ahoof, and they need to be addressed as soon as possible. The margin of error is only widening with every passing moment, and I’m simply attempting to contain as much of it as I can.” He stopped pacing. “I don’t want to harm you, or anypony for that matter. You will be safe under Concord watch.”

Cold twitched. “…If it’s information you want—”

“No,” Graham interrupted, taking Cold aback. “Captain Cold, I am earnestly doing my best for you. You are a loyal associate to the leading ponies of Cypress. Please understand that you are just a displaced pony. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Your role, as inadvertent as it has been, is at an end. You are an innocent kirin, and furthermore…” he took a deep breath, “I’d be honored to call you Cypressean. I assure you, true to my word, that we will discuss this later.”

Called it! (Maybe. Still not sure whether that's the truth or an excuse to get him to comply.)

“Rogue, you say?” He looked away, once again looking at some panel beyond the projectors’ range. “That’s one way to put it.”

Wuh-oh. Ominous.

Cold stood behind the unicorn, peering around him with just a pinch of nervousness. The real nerves were struck when he saw the bulky pegasus: his extra appendages were covered by a pair of black fabric sleeves, but there was no doubt in Cold’s mind that there were metal wings hidden beneath them. By his side, a familiar bat pony stared into Cold.

They were here.


“And off-record, it’s about time you ponies saw some action.”

In on the conspiracy or utterly out of the loop? Probably the latter.

You know, I'm not sure I've ever read the sensation of what a suppressor ring feels like, assuming there's a change in sensation at all. That hurts.

“Were there any casualties?”

The marshall might be out of the loop, but he's not dense.

The white blazed insignia was a messy slurry to Cold’s eyes

Have I mentioned I really like the prose in this? I have? Well, it bears repeating. I like the prose in this.

A nice, tense chapter; I always like heroes and villains interacting when the presence of other people around is the only thing keeping one of them from going for the other's throat. And now we've got both protagonists confronted with people with their own agendas. It's only a matter of time before the dominos fall.

Across its entire existence, a magic suppression ring had never been applied to a kirin of the enclave, but Searing Cold now knew first-hoof what true void was like.

I appreciate this part for highlighting how distressing it would be for magical beings to lose their magic. Too often this sort of thing is shrugged over, as if it wouldnt be as alarming as suddenly discovering one of your limbs was paralyzed

Ripshot appeared nonplussed. “What are these ponies researching, then?”

“Things beyond us. Technology that could destroy Cypress.”

The unicorn glared. “You should’ve opened with that.”

I mean, yeah. "Rogue research laboratory" could mean anything from "wide-reaching corporate conspiracy" to "small-time ponies who do mad science as a hobby".

Nice bit of history for Cold. Teleporting asteroids must be hell. And I can only imagine what kind of fame Cold would fall into if he actually found a new homeworld for the kirins.

“I love you,” she whispered.

Huh. That's something.

Holly is remarkably chill about the black-ops ponies barging in on her. Still suspect there's more to her than meets the eye. But before then, all we can do is wait for the next domino to fall.

C1 breathed through tight lips. “I don’t like sleeping.”

Lot to unpack in that line.

Using names to show the viewpoint character's perspective on things! I like that.

Nice, sweet, cozy chapter. Which means the next one is going to have everything fall apart very fast, doesn't it?

I'm currently on a UPS, and my satellite internet is down. I couldn't think of better circumstances for posting this chapter.

For a moment, the only sound on the radio was the steady blink of the emergency frequency’s pings. With one last flick of her magic, she let the radio loose, and from the waves on the monitoring side of the panel, she knew her message was going through.

The spooky sci-fi prose and imagery I live for.

Fantastic, suspenseful buildup for so short an interlude

gas giant

geostationary orbit

Ah, outdated terminology. Does it really qualify as geostationary if there's no "geo" to be stationary to?

Jokes aside, a lot of atmosphere (hah) in a little space. Very nice.

Originally they were called Clarke orbits, as Clarke (Authur C) figured out the height in which a satellite would remain stationary to the surface under it ...

Synchronous orbits, generically?

I’m completely lost.

Huh, so it seems that Sequoia and Sundown are not the villains I thought they are. What an interesting twist of events.

I really love the way this reads so far. Always've been a bit of a sucker for realistic sci-fi settings and this looks really cool. Also, really great writing to describe the scale and grit of the station while also showing its development.

A distinct tone rang out above the music, and the screen flashed with text: “Automated Docking: Enabled.”

“All of you say that.” A tinny alert klaxon came on the earpiece. “This scan is authorized and enforced by the Cloudsdale Quadrant Concord. Please comply,” Ripshot announced clearly. It was slightly undermined by the previous unprofessional exchange.

Feels like something straight out of a mix of Elite Dangerous and SS13 or FTL.
also I know what a klaxon is now.

I like how Fokienia is written but I feel Cold might be a tad too trusting for a hardy spacefarer, or maybe that's just part of that Kirin diplomatic intuition.

Her inuition told her

May want to fix hers when you have the chance, though.

I'd guessed Cold was something like a smuggler, if only at times. Now, there's a question of whether what he smuggled matters.

“But who?”

Cold spat on the concrete floor. “Corpo you wouldn’t know.”

Oh, Cold. Cold, Cold, Cold. Don't assume he doesn't know. And even if he doesn't, it can't hurt to give him a name.

I suspect Miller's involved with the Facility in some way, gassing Cold to keep him quiet rather than anything related to smuggling.

Huh. Didn't expect Holly's secret past to be something as mundane as "security consultant".

We've got a rescue mission, and from there... We'll see. There might not be much six equines can do. Also, we'd better hope Ripshot and Cold's escape attempt doesn't interfere with everyone else's rescue attempt.

I'm kind of hoping some ponies get a very pointed lesson on why kirin choose to be peacemakers.

Sundown took her place at the door, and dug around the inner collar of her vest for the small black square she’d stowed away.

Fokienia had already seen the device in action, but Holly tilted her head. “What’s that?”

“One of the Project’s...” She slowed. “Er, whatever. It’s one of the Project’s finest achievements, at least for this day and age.” Holding the square up to door for a moment was all it took: the bolts clacked as they rose. Sundown let the square fall back against her neck. The line keeping it around her neck was thin, but Fokienia could tell it was strong. “But let’s just say it’s our skeleton key.”

Like Miller's, huh?

Her down-sized disabler shrieked like a tiny cricket.

Or maybe a Noisy Cricket.

The griffons called them ‘war hawks’.

I wonder if griffons have stereotypes based on what species their bird and cat halves are.

“Is—is that CCI?” Sundown’s voice called from up front. “Cascade! What’s your sorry rump doing on my craft?”

Fokienia watched Bat’s—or rather, Cascade’s face dip right into horror. “Oh no.”

The sequence after this had me giggling more than some comedies.

“There’s nopony to say that friends can’t follow each other.”

Oh, very nice.

Excellent chapter, nice and punchy even if it was longer than usual (and not just because it involved actual punching). It's nice to see Fokienia continue to grow. Hoping her earth-poniness comes back in some way.

Very intimate chapter. Very well done. I was a little disappointed last chapter with Fokienia saying she loved Sequoia because I didn't really have any basis for this interaction. But this chapter gave really good explanation for it. :twilightblush:

Great story so far. Love all the character development. Also love the ending to this chapter. Last few paragraphs where very inspirational. Also ending at a great stopping point too. Don't get me wrong though, I am very much looking forward to new chapters. Liked and favorited.

I really enjoy this chapter for establishing Cold as a quick-thinking and decisive leader. Hard times make it clear who the heroes are.


We don't get enough pony-specific insults.

Opinicus Anchorage

"Anchorage" is probably a term like "port" here, but with its position on the edge of a conflict zone, my mind went to Anchorage in Fallout.

“I have my own colored history, Cascade.” Cold’s eyes were full of life, but Holly and Fokienia were the only ones who could see the darkness pervading within the recess of his mind. “One full of tragedy. A tragedy not at my hooves, but trailing me in my wake. Chasing me. And I abused it. As I’ve done with you and many others, I exploited your defenses by opting to not correct you. I allowed my appearance and natural inclinations lead me to opportunity. I let ponies trust that I’d do good, and used it to place myself in advantageous situations where I could operate independent of the normal Equestrian laws and authority that others are beholden to follow.”

Wonder what happened to change it. Or if Fokienia was what changed it.

The Expanse had scientists who destroyed the parts of their brains responsible for empathy so they could focus more completely on their work... which involved scientifically-driven borderline genocide. The "shell for training" operatives here remind me of that in the best/worst way.

Interesting seeing more and more sides of Cold reveal themselves, both in action and in narration. Let's hope they're enough for what's coming.

I love the way you write emotions, nuances, and all those subtle things that aren't directly communicated. You make it seem so easy, Odd Sarge.

Anyway, I've been thoroughly enjoying this story. Captivates me in the feels and all.

Then, Cold’s ear crackled. And his earpiece spoke with the voice of a mare. A young mare. A far too young mare.

“This is... Motherlode RF... requesting... Concord assistance. Connect.... FTL-relays...” The static fell in, then out. The last of her call came clear. “Cannot attempt repair alone. Message repeats.”

A masterclass chapter in scifi action and suspense, but somehow this reincorporation was the most striking part for me.

I like you. You willingly gave up the name of the pony beside you, a close friend by all accounts, and you did it for Cypress. I can see the good in your heart.

Define "good".

With no shield, and only the tint of the canopy, the warmth of Cypress’ sun could be felt in full.

In context, there's something wonderfully melancholy about that line.

I've read fics that were entirely action-focused and not half as tense as this chapter. Excellent stuff.

Noooo not the cliffhanger. :applecry: That aside, an awesome chapter, very intense. Waiting eagerly to see what happens next. Hopefully no pony dies. Although I understand there has to be sacrifices in life. I just don't like it it my fiction. I like where everyone lives in the end. :eeyup:

“He was sending a message for help.”

“To who?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Somepony in a ‘star system’? I didn’t even know about ‘space’ or the ‘galaxy’ until he showed me.”

There's something funny about being unable to give information because basic terminology escapes you.

They were planning to usurp Concord in a more violent way, but now that they know that Cypress Concord are loyal to my cause, we no longer have to worry about that.

I'm a sucker for people making terrible mistakes because they make the wrong assumptions or have incomplete information (see: Breaking Bad).

A pair of officers who came after with Cold.

He was unconscious, but he was alive.

I didn't think he'd die, but that's still a relief. There was always the possibility.

The very earth she stood on was scared.

That's one of the most impactful lines I've ever read.

You want the truth about who you are, C0?


Fokienia screamed, her voice the shrillest it’d ever been. “DAD!”

Graham’s hooves were heavy, but he stepped forward to meet her. “They may have forced you to forget our family... but I never forgot my foal.”

...Well, that puts a whole new spin on... lots of things, but especially their first meeting.

I've seen fics that talk about the goodness of ponies only for the climax of the story to still rely on violence and blood. It's nice to have a story to actually stick to its (lack of) guns for once.

Admittedly, my biggest worry with this story was how the ending confrontations would be handled and resolved, and I'm really happy that my worries were unnecessary. When the ethos of a story is established early on as being about a war machine learning to function in a world where war is foreign and strange, the worry is inevitably that the story has to gradually introduce elements of war and violence in order to make its point. Something to contrast against our lead, and say 'See! She could be so much worse!' As if that's a praise in her favour.

Instead of a war machine growing into a world of peace, it's a world of peace growing into a world of war so that the war machine has a purpose within it, while the story itself pretends that this isn't what's happening.

The fact that the story promotes the possibility of these things happening, but then relies on the goodness and morality of the leads to prevent it, means we get to see the characters grow into their roles as peacekeepers without invalidating the core goodness of their own setting. Even the violence, as it exists, is in service of looking for ways to put an end to it while minimizing loss of life and injury.


I'm a sucker for people making terrible mistakes because they make the wrong assumptions or have incomplete information (see: Breaking Bad).

The one piece of media that singlehandedly made me go from disliking to liking this trope.

Reminds me of a certain spacefaring game in a bit too many ways... ;)

Unending praise alone can make one feel inadequate about one's own writing 😅
But still, more I surf through your stuff, more it seems warranted
Good read, here to wait for more, and be inspired.

The last touch of light that made following the alicorn a viable prospect could be found in her mane and tail: the striking resemblance of stars streaking through her ethereal hair sent ripples of delight through Fokienia’s heart. Dark as she first appeared, a close look provided Fokienia with the hope she sought.

Oh, that's an interesting line to draw.

In allowing Cypress to keep its independence, we allowed this technology to develop too far without a staying hoof.

Yeah, that's one of the things about truly unregulated scientific study. You can end up with fantastic results... so long as you forget about the ponies you deliberately crushed under the wheels of progress.

Sometimes, I find wrap-ups, the bit between the climax and the actual ending, to be the hardest part of writing. This one is coming along nicely.

As she followed after the guard, she took the time to inspect their garb. The gold armor of the Royal Guards that had brought her from the spaceport had been an ever-present sight, but she hadn’t had the chance to get a proper look. The fittings holding the golden plates together were worn and weathered, but the armor itself was polished to an absolute sheen. If she stood at just the right angle, she could see herself reflected in its surface. As for practicality, she knew she could cave the armor in with a quick throw of her forelegs. But this armor was the same armor they wore in the history banks. Perhaps they wore it not for protection, but… for history?

Personal theory: the armor's been sci-fi-upgraded and is stronger than it looks. It just looks like old-style armor out of tradition. (Also, I recently read a sci-fi story that tried to show the perspective of an AI by occasionally having it look up unknown words from its dictionary, except it often needed to look up words it really should've known already. It's nice to see someone not know a word they logically shouldn't know.)

The vast halls were beyond tall, and beyond wide. Each hallway seemed even more expansive than anywhere in Cypress. The open air, the sheer amount of distance between the guards hugging the walls, and the immense stained-glass frameworks that were actually made of glass.

I always like it when space-limited characters experience openness.

Synthetic Bottled Sunlight

Eh, as a name it's a bit of a mouthful. How about Sunny Delight? :rainbowwild:

Fokienia and Celestia get along quite well. Now that I think about it, Fokienia's and Twilight's initial situations are foils to each other: Twilight was surrounded by friendship but thought it wasn't for her, Fokienia wanted it but only had scraps of its most basic forms. If Fokienia does follow in Twilight's hoofsteps, I wonder how their approaches would differ.

This is an interesting start to your story. I rather like your setting so far. A good, optimistic sci-fi story that isn't based on another franchise is far too rare, with only two besides this that I've found. Unless something fairly drastic happens to negatively affect the story, this should be a fun read and something to add to that short list. Thank you for making this.

Thank you so much for this world, and all the characters in it. This story will occupy a special place in my bookshelves and my thoughts for a long time.

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