Day One

Stahlseele #1 · Aug 20th, 2022 · 1 · ·

Well written, but that is kinda to be expected from you
by now.
No spelling or grammar mistakes that stood out to me.
Good short little story.
And at least she kinda sorta stood up for her and Spike.

Twilight_Shimmer

Twilight_Shimmer #2 · Aug 20th, 2022 · · ·

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So looking at this stories descripton, it does not really tell me what the stoires about leaving me (and i mean no offense) unsure if i wanna read it or not

Golden Sax

Golden Sax #3 · Aug 20th, 2022 · 5 · ·

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I always love these pre-show /post-show stories that just seem to flesh out the canon even more.

Wild Stallion

Wild Stallion #4 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 2 · ·

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Sweet short story. And I do like the idea that Twilight simply took up residence in the local library. It's very her.

Though I wonder what this means for Spike's interest in comics moving forward in this universe. I liked that aspect of his character.

Of course, now I wonder if Sliver Plate has any Ponyvile relatives.

Comickook

Comickook #5 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 2 · ·

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Whoa. Definitely a great job on the exchanges and characterizations in this one-shot. Really liked Spike trying to help Twilight take the time to relax as well as appreciating the bits of foreshadowing for later in the series. And, yeah, Twilight bluffing that noble who was giving Spike grief about not wanting to risk getting on Celestia's bad side was beautiful (even if, years later, Twilight would be downright terrified of getting Celestia upset, to the point of thinking Celestia might send her back to magic kindergarten just for being one or two days late on a friendship report).

Lets Do This

Lets Do This #6 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 2 · ·

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11338171
Thanks! Regarding the comics, my take on it is that Spike started reading comics / graphic novels as a way of learning to connect words with pictures, and then simply kept on reading them out of enjoyment of the medium itself. Not to mention the generally heroic, role-model nature of characters like the Power Ponies.

new55

new55 #7 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 1 · ·

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That was a good story.

Wild Stallion

Wild Stallion #8 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 1 · ·

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11338183
That's good to know.

It would make sense if they didn't play a important role in the setting, but I always thought of them as a interesting bit of world building.

Plus it's a good plot point for future interactions, both for Spike, and for the world itself, if you throw in reality bending magic into the mix.

I always did like the Power Ponies episode, minor gripes aside.

11338181
To be fair, Lesson Zero hasn't happened here yet. Twilight is a lot more consistently mature in this universe.

Uz Naimat

Uz Naimat #9 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 1 · ·

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This is really good. Truly enjoyed it.

Your prose is nice. As does your narrative style. Let me point out a few sentences that stand out the most.

The sheer industry on display made it impossible for anypony else to focus. It was like watching the reader be dissected, minutely, with swift, analytical precision. The entire class wound up eyeing Twilight's table, uneasily.

Spike was looking decidedly nauseous, his cheeks bulging, his jaw gritted.

Mid-morning break the next day found Twilight sitting outside under her favorite reading tree on the School's play area, her snout buried in a thick volume.

So like I said, wonderful piece.

However, I do have a few grievances.

The first one is the whole past-within-a-past thing. This extract, to be specific.
As Twilight peered around the classroom at the student tables, each with its complement of fillies and colts, Ms. Flask found herself recalling an earlier conversation... one in which she'd stood in knock-kneed terror, facing the imposing glory of Princess Celestia herself.
The Solar Princess had been quite pleasant actually, as she'd calmly informed Ms. Flask that the Princess's personal student would be beginning her formal studies in Flask's classroom.
"Twilight has an unusual aptitude for magic," Celestia had said. "Plus an interest in the scientific method, which I feel we should encourage. She'll be in private lessons with me in the afternoons, but I'd like her to have the experience of classroom instruction as well. She's insular by nature, so she should have the opportunity to mingle with other students. But don't pressure her to socialize, Florence. Let her find her own way."
"Of course, Highness." Ms. Flask struggled to raise her voice above a whisper. "Ah... at what level are we thinking of starting her?"
"Whatever the other students her age are working on," Celestia said. "I've no doubt Twilight can catch up quickly. She's very well-read." The Princess smiled. "Almost too well-read. The specific lessons aren't as important as the exposure to everyday classroom learning. And don't coddle her," Celestia added firmly. "If she's not paying attention, if she's not turning in the assigned work, or misbehaving or misusing her magic, by all means discipline her just as you would any other student. But knowing Twilight as I do, I very much doubt that you'll have to. She's quite diligent, and almost frighteningly organized."
"Of course, Princess." Ms. Flask added a quick bob just to be on the safe side. "Um. Anything else, Your Highness?"
"Yes, just one more thing." Celestia paused, thoughtfully. "As much as possible, Florence, I'd like you to allow her a free hoof. Let her find her own way, set her own rules, make her own choices. She's very responsible and quite determined. We should encourage that. And I'll be very interested to see what choices she does make, given the freedom to make them."
"Just as you say, Highness..."
Ms. Flask was forcefully brought back to the present by Twilight pointing a hoof across the room, towards an empty student table by the windows. "I think I'd like to sit there, ma'am."
Starting from Celestia’s first line (’Twilight has an unusual aptitude in magic’) all the way to Ms. Flask’s line (’Just as you say, Highness’) are in the past. But the story itself is in the past tense. Therefore, for flashbacks, you should use the past perfect tense. So it should be: Celestia had said, Ms. Flask had struggled and so on. Which you did write, but only once. It should be done for the entire section, to let the audience know that this is a conversation that occurred in the past. Or alternatively, you could italicize the entire section to let the audience know this was a flashback.
The second thing is... I’m a little confused about Twilight and Spike’s ages. In the beginning, you said that Twilight was a filly. But when Twilight was a filly, Spike was a newborn. And even if that was a mistake and Twilight is an adult in this story, then Spike’s meeting with Moondancer and Co. contradicts canon, ‘cause Twilight met them as a child. So... what exactly is going on?
And one tiny bug. It’s ‘Your Highness’, ‘Her Highness’ and ‘His Highness’. It’s never just ‘Highness’. Same thing applies for other honorifics such as ‘Your Majesty’.

Those things aside, I really like this story and it deserves an upvote. Kudos to you, kind author!

Lets Do This

Lets Do This #10 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 1 · ·

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11338457
Thanks for reading, and for letting me know what you think!

Regarding Twilight and Spike's ages (physical and mental): this story is a semi-sequel to a couple earlier stories: My Little Student, and You're Not Mommy, which describe the time between Twilight's entrance exam and her first actual day of classes, and also how she meets up with Spike and takes charge of him as her "assistant".

It's my assumption, for story purposes, that:

Twilight lived at the Palace while Celestia was teaching Twilight to control her magic, which allows a little time for both Twilight and Spike to grow up before she arrives at the School proper
dragons come out of the egg with language skills "built in", and are generally wise as children, only becoming crafty and aggressive when they hit their "teen" years.
plus there's the fact that Twilight is a very advanced reader and speaker for her years, and hence comes off sounding older than she actually is.
and pony education in general isn't segregated by grades, but has students working on lessons at their own pace, so you potentially have a mix of ages in the same classroom. (With the exception perhaps of remedial education, hence Twilight's fear of being sent to "Magic Kindergarten" -- which I actually touch on in another story, Twilight Runs Away.)

To my mind, these assumptions all just help to make this part of Twilight's and Spike's time together more sensible and interesting for narrative purposes.

In the end, it's all headcanon, your mileage may vary.

Uz Naimat

Uz Naimat #11 · Aug 21st, 2022 · 1 · ·

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11338487
Thank you for your explanation. It makes the story a lot clearer.

Looking forward to more works of yours!

TasermonsPartner

TasermonsPartner #12 · Aug 22nd, 2022 · · ·

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Later that night, after having eaten cheesy quesadillas at the school cafeteria for the first time ever, Twilight realized there was a fatal flaw in her plan...the tower did not have a restroom.

Eroraf86

Eroraf86 #13 · Aug 22nd, 2022 · 1 · ·

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I expected a good story. I was not disappointed. Spike is such a good dude.

Scyphi

Scyphi #14 · Aug 23rd, 2022 · 1 · ·

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"I'll be careful. And look, even if anything did happen -- which it won't..." Spike trotted over to a nearby window, and pointed down through it. "You see that guard down there? The one who's always following us?"
"He does?" Twilight asked in surprise, peering down at the gold-armored Royal Guard soldier, standing on the steps leading into the Library Annex building.

Figures that Spike would easily notice that but Twilight never did. The gal's brilliant, but the tunnel-vision-like manner her brain works means she might as well be wearing blinders all the time.

"And the Princess has given us both an important assignment to work on."

Ah-ha! So it was Celestia who gave them that research project. Given the topic...I'm guessing that wasn't an accident.

Overall, a nice little character study sort of story.

PaintedPony

PaintedPony #15 · Aug 24th, 2022 · 2 · ·

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I loved it. Early student Twilight, is an unmined resource. I love what you did with it! This could be expanded. I wouldn’t mind in the least. Thank you for a wonderful read.

Lets Do This

Lets Do This #16 · Aug 24th, 2022 · 3 · ·

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11341320
Thanks back for reading, and for sharing your thoughts!
I'd always wondered how Twilight came by her tower room in the G4 pilot episode,
and this was my take on how it happened. It's great to hear it works for you as well!

tzening

tzening #17 · Aug 25th, 2022 · 4 · ·

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"I'm the Princess's personal student," Twilight said -- flatly, as fact, as if she was talking about how the sky was up. "And Spike here isn't my pet, he's my research assistant. And the Princess has given us both an important assignment to work on. And do you know what Princess Celestia would do," Twilight added in a forbidding tone, "to anypony who dares interfere with her student's work? Remember, we're talking about a pony with the power to move the Sun. And you want to talk nobility? She's the pony in charge of it."

Probably one of the few times nepotism is a good thing. You generally don’t piss off someone who has your king on speed dial.

Zubric

Zubric #18 · Feb 13th, 2023 · 1 · ·

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I like the origin of the tower as well

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