• Published 19th Mar 2022
  • 202 Views, 3 Comments

An Ordinary Story - Steady Gaze

Pinkie Pie must apply her baking skills in a rather unpleasant way for the good of Equestria in a straightforward slice-of-life adventure! But is that really the whole story?

An Ordinary Story written by Steady Gaze
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Chapter 5: Everypony Discovers the Multiverse

The embodiments of the elements of harmony stood in formation in the fields outside Ponyville amidst a gathering whirlwind of magical energy. In the center, Twilight and Starlight crossed their horns while Pinkie Pie stood beside them, her cutie mark glowing. The other four stood in a ring around them. Spike held on to Twilight’s tail for dear life, and a glass jar levitated above it all.

“Starlight, you’re a genius! I think this might work!” Twilight exclaimed over the wind.

Starlight only breathed heavily before asking, “Ready everypony?”

“Ready!” they replied.

Starlight and Twilight unleashed the stored magical energy in an arcing spiral. A yellow orb popped into existence over their heads descended into the glass jar that was swiftly sealed shut. A sudden calm prevailed as the magic field dissipated and the glass jar dropped onto the now wind-swept grass.

Starlight didn’t let out a sigh of relief or release the tension in her shoulders—she couldn’t yet. At her hesitation, Twilight said, “We can’t let it wake yet. We’ve got to… probe it.”

“Talking it over was one thing… but using mind magic ‘offensively’ feels like I’m on even thinner ice than before.”

Twilight was sympathetic; no doubt it was hard for Starlight to use mind magic like this again when previous uses had gone so poorly. Then, Pinkie laid her hoof over Starlight’s and gave her an empathetic look. “Don’t worry—it’s not a friend. It’s nothing like a pony, or griffon, or hippogriff, or anything from this world.”

With a bit more resolve, Starlight nodded to Twilight.

As they let their magic flow, everypony’s minds were linked into a form strong enough to resist virtually any mental attack known to Ponykind, as well as with enough processing power to absorb what was coming next. Everypony’s eyes were replaced with pure white as the world around them washed away. Their minds were instantly filled with an ineffable, seemingly never-ending stream of knowledge…

…of a strange, technologically advanced race of “humans” so unlike the ones from the portal to Canterlot High, who had no alicorn goddesses to guide and protect them, who claimed to have no magic yet had created wonders, who led incredibly boring lives whose days consisted mainly of sitting in front of glowing monitors, navigating an endless maze of self-powered wagons, and then sitting in front of another glowing monitor before going to bed;

…of their propensity to construct stories, even entire imaginary worlds to pass the time, or teach moral lessons, or even to tease their audiences;

…of how the creation of their world transpired, which wouldn’t have existed were it not for a toy company trying to invent new ways to sell toys to children;

…of how every world, every story, necessarily splinters into a unique shard upon its interpretation by a new mind, even into multiple pieces held in the same mind;

…of how these splinters can grow into worlds of their own, if they are given sufficient time and distribution;

…of how varied these worlds are, such as one where their world ended in balefire after a cruel and terrible war and a new, barely recognizable one sprang up in its place 200 years later, or one where Sunset Shimmer never fell to corruption and remained Princess Celestia’s faithful pupil despite her own flaws, or one where Princess Luna created a reconstructed Tantabus for dreamwalking duty that had a sharp wit and many adventures, or one where Prince Blueblood was chosen as Princess Celestia’s pupil and stallions became the elements of harmony, or one where Twilight’s Canterlot friends became the elements of harmony despite Princess Celestia’s meddling, or one where Lyra Heartstrings uncovered humanity's ancient history in Equestria and stumbled into the real human world, and another where she was cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets, or one where a filly Rainbow Dash was accidentally teleported to the human world but managed to find a loving caretaker, or one where a human astronaut stumbled upon the planet Equus, or the uncountable worlds detailing the lives of ponies they barely knew, or the yet more uncountable worlds with new and novel romantic pairings among the group or other ponies, as well as many things not suited for a G-rated work;

…of how their recent experiences were from one such splinter given life;

…and finally, of how utterly hopeless it is to resist the creator of a story while a character in it.

Everypony was understandably exhausted after having so much information forcibly stuffed into them, especially that last point about all resistance being futile. Still, they managed to open their eyes almost lazily… only to behold the yellow orb distinctly not in its glass prison.

Rainbow Dash started, “How did you…”

“...escape my prison, in a world in which I control everything, down to the last little detail?”

Hearing things straight from the horse’s… er, human’s (?) mouth. Is this how Pinkie Pie always felt when living with her… abilities?

Rainbow Dash replied, “Right… you’re awesome, all-powerful author!” before instantly recoiling in horror at her involuntary praise.

Twilight and Starlight were considering all the magical bounds and hexes they’d placed on that little glass jar, and how the author had seemingly floated out with no effort at all, against all known laws of magic. Yeah, they were… out of luck, to say the least.

“You’re probably thinking about how useless your magic is against me. Well, you’re right. In fact, I allowed myself to be ‘captured’ and ‘probed’ because it would make an interesting story. Shame you had to find out about the fruitlessness of resistance to me so soon, or I could have had some fun with this scene. This yellow light thing was just for show.” The yellow orb winked out, while the now incorporeal voice continued. “Oh, and contrary to your impressions, I am not a sadist. Well, not as sadistic as some of my kind.” It was true, in a way… in their visions everypony had “seen things”.

“Don’t patronize us you… you…” Rarity exclaimed, before failing to find an appropriate insult for a transdimensional, incorporeal being.

Twilight spoke up, “Since you’re here, and… talking… how could you torture this world you’ve created (or half created) so much?”

“In terms of the ethical problem of spawning imaginary sentient creatures and having them suffer, I think the ‘imaginary’ part should assuage any concerns.”

Starlight jumped in. “I have a question too… where’s the only other creature with story altering powers besides Pinkie Pie… where’s Discord?”

”Oh! Uh… he’s… on vacation, yeah!”

Starlight raised an eyebrow.

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Now that the beans have been spilled and thoroughly trodden underhoof, the time has come for your questions, and your suffering, to end, because it is time for the end… thank you everypony for playing, especially you, Pinkie Pie.”

“Wait! This is way too rushed. You’re going to end things just like that?” Pinkie replied. “What about the happily ever—”

Just like that.

Author's Note:

How long have you been reading MLP fanfics? Did you get them all? Granted, I imagine multiple fanfics would meet some of these descriptions.

If you didn't suffer through enough meta in this story, I'd highly recommend the Scootertrix the Abridged series. The Tantabus, Mk. II story also contains some very competent deconstruction of literary tropes.

This is actually the first work of fiction I've written in a long time, and one I've spent entirely too much time on. If I write anything in the future, hopefully I'll be able to write more fluidly and also resist polishing it for too long. Also, I'd like to reiterate that reviews, corrections, and constructive feedback of this story are welcome!

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Comments ( 3 )
Starlight Nova
Starlight Nova #1 · Mar 19th, 2022 · · ·
Reply

Twilight Sparkle has come to make a very unpleasant request of Pinkie Pie

Unpleasant because gruel is difficult to make, or because Pinkie won't like doing it?

Steady Gaze
Steady Gaze #2 · Mar 19th, 2022 · · ·
Reply

11185252
Gruel is very easy to make (combine flour and water and boil it), but I imagined Pinkie would see it as wasted potential (thinking of all the cakes/other actually appetizing pastries that could be made) and opposed to her values (since gruel is associated with austerity and definitely not laughter). :pinkiesad2: Do you think I should have been more explicit with her reasons?

And don't forget that Twilight is uncomfortable too, because she correctly suspects Pinkie won't like it. :twilightsheepish:

Mica
Mica #3 · Apr 27th, 2022 · · ·
Reply

Okay! So some thoughts on your story.

This is a solid first fic. Your characterizations of Pinkie and the rest are all on point. Your prose is clean and reads well.

I would say work on focusing the central theme your story. As a reader, I read the first chapter and expected it to be a SoL story about Pinkie learning that she can't always make the thing she likes, and then she learns to find happiness in such a mundane task as making gruel. And it ended up being a sort of existentialism debate spoken by ponies. Between the different scenes and characters, I was struggling whether to feel comedy or feel philosophical.

Every story should come together around a common theme or message. Meta stories can be good, but they still have to feel like a single story that revolves around a central message. I feel bad for self-promoting, but just cozy glow is a meta story I wrote that got top reviews. Even stories made up of disjointed "vignettes" all connect with each other and flow from one to the next.

The encroaching pink pony slammed open the door of the manager’s office, in which a mildly deflated and downtrodden Filthy Rich was running some numbers.

This is more a matter of personal taste, but too many descriptors can feel a bit overwhelming for the reader. A few simple words can convey deep meaning. Also look up "lavender unicorn syndrome".

It takes time to adjust to writing for a particular fandom. It is a continual learning process. I hope you will continue to write after this, and let me know if you have any questions.

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