An Ordinary Story

by Steady Gaze

Chapter 3: Who’s Around?

Pinkie Pie, the filly, had just given her family the party of a lifetime that day. The whole Pie family felt happily spent, and indeed Quartz Pie was tucking Pinkie into bed.

“Did you feel… like someone was watching our party?”

Quartz Pie blinked and tilted her head in puzzlement. “Well, thy father and I are most pleased with the events that transpired. My, we never realized our whole family’s spirits were so low. We all were so taken aback that we could only stand and watch the first few moments we laid eyes on your party.”

“N-no, not like that. It’s like… there was someone jumping around the room whenever someone new started talking. I felt it right before I saw the rainbow too.”

“Oh, dear, is this about the ghosties again? Do you remember what your old Granny Pie always said about how to handle them, Celestia rest her soul?”

Pinkie cracked a small smile.

“We never realized the mundane hardships of life could use the same treatment, but we have you to thank for reminding us.” Quartz Pie gave little Pinkie a peck on the forehead, then turned out the light and trotted away.

Pinkie meant to survey her sisters, but couldn’t keep her eyes open long enough to stop herself from drifting off into a long, dreamless sleep.

---

Back at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was still reflecting on the disturbing truths she’d just learned. What can you do against the all-powerful narrator of your world? Pinkie didn’t have a good answer, and she had the feeling nopony would. But if there’s anything she’d learned from all her adventures in Ponyville and beyond, it’s that, together with her friends, they could do anything.

But there was a problem. What if none of her friends believed her? Pinkie had long accepted that there were things in the world that only she could see, ranging from a strange ability to predict the future (her Pinkie sense) to knowing things nopony else knew (like the reason for Twilight’s little crush on a certain pegasus guard she bumped into in the Crystal Empire). One of her Pinkie sense-adjacent abilities had been the ability to tell if she was being watched, like when Twilight was spying on her to learn about her Pinkie sense. Though, most of the time, like when she’d first felt it when getting her cutie mark, she never did meet her mysterious observer. After growing accustomed to the feeling, she’d decided to prank her “viewers” from time to time, for example by grabbing the eyes of the people watching, or by interjecting and monologuing to them when she couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself and Gummy. All of this hurt her head to think about, and bewildered anyone she’d tried to explain it to, which is why she’d never really talked about it. Her Pinkie sense at least warned other ponies of falling objects, and all her other strangeness was attributed by those who knew her to “just Pinkie being Pinkie.”

But this was the first time that that viewer had replied! And what he’d said… that dema… thing. What would stop him from taking her away from everypony she knew and loved? And it almost seemed like he’d done this before! Pinkie shuddered to think of whether somepony dear to her had been completely erased from her mind, when she’d spent so much energy getting to know every pony (and I mean every pony) in Ponyville.

Pinkie placed the last of the batter in the oven. “Gummy, I have a teensy-tiny favor to ask you… can you take all the hardtack out of the oven when it's done and crate it please?” Gummy gave no visible signs of comprehension or even awareness. “I knew you could handle it! Thanks Gummy!” said Pinkie, before dashing out the door.

---

Twenty minutes and several stops later, Pinkie Pie rushed through the open doors of Rich’s Barnyard Bargains.

“Oh hi Pinkie, here to restock on baking ingredients again?” was what the greeter pony wanted to say, except he could scarcely get the first couple words out before being spun in circles by the wake turbulence that Pinkie generated. The encroaching pink pony slammed open the door of the manager’s office, in which a mildly deflated and downtrodden Filthy Rich was running some numbers. “No, I’m afraid we don’t have any flour,” said Filthy Rich, after taking one look at the pony he had the pleasure of speaking to, who was now catching her breath. “Trying to restock after a visit by the Princess I presume? Some workponies came by and carted it all away already… at market price.”

“Aww… it feels like Princess Twilight visited every shop in Ponyville before coming to see me…. Well, stay rich, Rich!” The pink pony zoomed back out the door.

---

A few minutes later, Pinkie stopped briefly in front of Bon Bon’s shop, before noticing it was obviously closed. Pinkie wondered how strange it was that it was closed so often, and, surveying the display, that there were usually barely any of the signature bon bons to be had. What a mystery, one she didn't really have an angle on.

“Hmph. Can’t stop now!” Pinkie remarked before dashing off.

---

Shortly afterwards, Pinkie Pie burst into the headmare’s office at the School of Friendship, where Starlight Glimmer was reading a letter from the Ponyville Hay Board about the school’s hay supply.

Pinkie Pie started, “I’ve been to every flour-carrying business in Ponyville, but I’ve been too late to catch up to Twilight every time!”

“Woah there, so you’re looking for… flour? And Twilight?” Starlight started.

“I wish it were just flour.” Pinkie’s expression was suddenly visibly flat. “I’m looking for a magical or non-magical solution to the problem of being stuck in a story with an all-powerful author who could turn me and my friends into nothing with just a thought, and I need Twilight’s help! And your help.”

A stunned and confused Starlight responded, with her hoof still extended towards Pinkie, “An all-powerful… I’ve never seen you look so serious before. What usually happens when you burst in like that and I ask what you’re doing, is that you pretend that I asked a silly question for laughs… or something like that.”

“That’s just it! I don’t see anything funny about this. It’s just like being stuck in that cage after Discord betrayed all of us and we had no hope left.”

Starlight’s eyes narrowed sympathetically, channeling the school counselor in her. “That bad, huh? Let’s talk it over.”

---

“So let me get this straight… you’re saying that we’re actually in a story, and that the ‘author’ of this story personally threatened you with a word that I think is ‘dematerialization.’ Is that right?”

“That’s right! But I know nopony I tell will believe me.” Pinkie spun her hoof listlessly in circles above the ground.

"Actually… I do believe you. At least enough to try to find out more. I’ve heard all about how Twilight couldn’t get over your Pinkie sense, and it makes sense that there’s a lot more where that came from, not to mention what I’ve seen first-hoof in all the time I’ve known you. And you’ve talked for way longer than would be sensible before throwing in a punchline, so I don’t think this could be a prank.”

“Oh my gosh! Thank you Starlight!” exclaimed Pinkie before wrapping her in a deep hug.

“You’re lucky I know you so well,” said Starlight, returning the hug. They let the moment last just a bit longer.

“Even if someday there isn’t a ‘me’ anymore and nopony remembers me, at least I’m here now,” Pinkie opined.

“That’s actually pretty profound, Pinkie. Are you sure you’re not a philosopher pony?” They shared a quick chuckle.

“So what do we do now?”

“I know exactly what to do now. We call Twilight and have the biggest research session of our lives,” said Starlight. After a pause, she added, “Besides the one we had after we accidentally released the Pony of Shadows.”

“Ooooh, you have a way to call Twilight?”

Starlight Glimmer reached for a special compartment underneath her desk. After a moment’s delay, she pulled out a hoof-sized metal disk with a stylized 6-pointed star embossed on the obverse. Pressing and turning both yielded satisfying clicks, as well as a purple glow emanating from within. “It’s a special gadget Twilight left for me now that she’s not here, for when big friendship problems happen in Ponyville or the School of Friendship.”

“Ooooh, that’s a very specific item whose sole purpose is to advance the plot! I bet there’s an encyclopedia out there that describes commonly occurring patterns in fiction which has an entry on this very pattern! Except it’s not an encyclopedia, it’s more of a named resource in a vast collection of named resources hosted by an even vaster collection of networked machines that’s too complicated for anypony to think about all at once!”

“What??” exclaimed Starlight Glimmer in complete bewilderment.

“Agh!” yelped Pinkie Pie, covering her mouth with her hooves in frustration.

Author's Note:

A few things.

• Here's a chill track on the house.
• It is my strong opinion that the Ponyville Hay Board doesn’t receive the attention it deserves in fan works.
• MacGuffin. TV Tropes. The Internet.