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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yeah, im sorry I'm gonna have to bow out of this story, I tried to give it a fair shake but it's just not for me. With that in mind, don't let me hinder your progress.
Personally I be more worried about why he at the hospital than a party that he was missing. health before fun. He was more concerned with the pony who could be very hurt than a party which shows although friendship since he lost everyone he cared about was hard he still was a good person and somewhat better behaved than twilight and friends.
great chapter!!~~
keep it up!
Wait “Trixie” as in the great and powerful Trixie? “ That Trixie? Oh that man is in for an awful surprise that’s not gonna go well for him at all nnnnope
11189098
Heh, why would he be engaged to a Pony in his native reality? Nah, there's a reason I chose that name.
11189107
He’s gonna meet pony Trixie soon ain’t he?
11186826
Plus it doesn't hurt that she been nothing but a good friend to him. The main 6 might need to grow up some before they can be considered friends even if he won't admit to himself zecora is his friend. They falsely accused him and then try to kill him and are more concerned with a party then why he at the hospital. If a possible new friend was at the hospital I be more concerned with why and how I could help him.
11189129
Perhaps. But also consider why he doesn't know about Trixie already. He should have, since the first episode with Trixie took place in an episode WELL before he stopped watching.
great chapter
Great chapter. I'm glad Jethro got a bit of catharsis.
Uhh, is no one going to talk about this?
I wonder why his "petting powers" haven't worked on Zecora. And what exactly are these powers... or has Fluttershy just got it bad for humans who share their feelings?
A bit of criticism, it feels like the characterizations are too on the nose. Too much telly and not enough showy. Speaking their emotions out loud. Either that or the characters, especially the temporary ones, feel like they're just other Jetheros, but pony.
11189482
Eh. Some ladies have "a spot". It can be anywhere, back of the knee, base of the neck, soles of the feet, wherever. Could be that's just fluttershy's
Not going to lie I cant wait to see what fluttershy has plans for our human friend
That was a bit fast. One moment they assault him because they don't listen to him. Then they get their cure and the assault takes a backseat because of the Celestia situation. And now he's telling them his life story and they're suddenly supportive of him. Compared to Zecora who got entire chapters with him it feels rushed and jarring. I'd expect him to tell Zecora but not the mane 6.
I really do like the worldbuilding though, Scarlet not having a cutie mark, Fluttershy's reaction and the Deerfolk are great hooks for expanding the story, culture and so forth.
Curious to see where things progress from here.
With the others I think it's odd that he's blaming himself for her getting hurt as it seems like she wasn't going to make it much longer without outside intervention, probably going to be written as that she died there in the original timeline and that's why she wasn't shown in the series.
MC can do pretty much anything in his sleep and hasn't made the comment "I could do it in my sleep" to brag once.
That bridge looks terrible I could build a better one in my sleep. *literally builds a better bridge while sleeping*
odd comment as equestria is almost always portrayed as being idyllic well at least the pony areas, i'd expect something like that from the gryphons.
Her being half starved might be more of it but that seems easier to explain away with her hiding away and surviving on what she can rather than be seen without a cutie mark at her age.
The asbestos was a surprise as it was a last minute throw in. The realtor doesn't mention it but the hospital does??
Does this change his mind about rebuilding it or will he rebuild it without the asbestos? Will he demand a new realtor? Will the realtor get in trouble?
He rebuilt the castle as a hobby without any real end goal as i'm not aware there is anything planned for it now that it's rebuilt.
I was assuming he was visiting the house to find where it was and then do the same to it to liven up the place but select some other empty parcel of land to put his existing house on. It doesn't make sense for him to renovate the house to live in.
Moving his house seems like a good idea especially considering the strange original placement of the house but seems odd considering the ongoing mc x zecora relationship building so it feels more likely for them to move in together than for him to move his house away, also I don't think zecora has even been told that he's planning to move away.
Lots of little strange things like that in the story though like zecora being attacked back near the beginning, she made her home in the forest and canonically would have avoided such a situation in the first place yet it was a nice twist as I was sure it was going to be one of the CMCs which are the typical timberwolf targets.
He has the entire MLP series but has only watched part of it and is afraid to watch the rest because he's afraid he might change something?
He's shown the ponies some of it and they find it understandably creepy but don't tell him he can't watch it, you'd think they would have been more interested considering they could have forewarning of a large stack of soon to occur disasters. Sure some things would happen differently but some things would change, some things already have.
There is still the unexplained bit of him talking to luna in the beginning.
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Friendship may not be as sincere as it appears to be as considering their relationship with the princesses that's the equivalent to being told "we're only being nice to you because we've been ordered to"
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What's it going to be?
I'm going with 3
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That's a very good question, how could he not already know about equestrian trixie? Maybe in this verse trixie wasn't originally part of the show? Maybe his memory has been manipulated? Maybe he suppressed it?
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For me, I want to see how this 'petting power' would work on Angel.
I was almost about to quit on this story because the MC constant worrying over stuff that clearly wasn't his fault, but I really wanted an exlpaination as to why. This chapter satisfied my curiousity and saved this fic from me abandoning it. Great chapter!
11197449
Totally agree. I wish it was hinted at just a little bit more, as it was getting pretty grating. It’s much easier to empathize now and the reason behind his troubles is… satisfactory. It feels, idk a little cheesy-sad, you know? But I’ve certainly read worse and am much more willing to go on reading now.
Well i am dropping the story
you dont just increase the doses of painkillers like that!
11189688
Could be, or, consider this is Fluttershy we're talking about, she might have a thing for "pet-play".
What about Zecora? Till this point, she has been seen as a non-pony and she WAS at the party, right?
“No…” she said, shaking her head.
“Nurse, increase her pain meds,” the doctor said. The nurse nodded and trotted out. Turning to me, the doctor continued, “Mr. Bethridge, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk with the patient alone for a while. Some of these questions might get a bit personal.”
So I have a lot of complaints with your writing, but this is a big one. I get equestria having maybe different laws than earth, but in most civilized nations this is HIGHLY ILLEGAL. You can't administer treatment to a patient without their consent unless it's legally deemed you are mentally incapable of consent or you have a highly communicable disease and it's in the interest of public health to treat someone.
Now I'm not one to force human laws onto equestrians, but this is just super unethical and can lead to abuses of power.
Sorry if I come off like "a hatur" im still reading the story, I don't hate it, I just don't like this part
EDIT: also the MC is a spaz with a major major savior complex lmao
11360427
I don't think the author thought of that
Good chapter
I am now confident in my guess in the prior chapter.
This story is SSSOOOOO PRECIOUS !!! Also very well written.
Trappings of bad isekai. Like junkfood. Really fancy junkfood.
11384631
Bro it's a junk food fic slice of life, ain't no reason to think like that it just ain't that deep. If your looking for more realistic stuff than go to the grimdark stuff
This guy is a little to soft for my liking. Always apologizing.