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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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At least torch had a warriors death
Perhaps Torch had some nightmare spirit on him
this is one of the best-written chapters of the story loved it
Nice
Well done my friend, hope the ship survives it’ll be cool to have that still!
Looks like what I feared has come true. Jethro was thrown into another spin against his will.
Whoa... I know it's only one word but that's all I can really think describes this chapter.
great chapter!!
let him rest for now for he has won!!!~
Why did he have to use the ship that make no sense I hope he can read fix it and he has a fight against Amber now
So Torch goal was a new dragon emperor and the old times back. Didn't realy care who won, the end was the same. He won. Only not so big.
I'm going to honest with you. I skipped 99% of the action.
The problem with trying to make something "action-packed" is you end up with a lot of "things" happening, but very little in the way of story progress.
It's a balancing act between brushing over it with barely a wird said, and going over the top and dragging it out far more than necessary. I honestly feel you did the latter in this case.
I prefer the character development and growth to the action anyhow.
If Torch had survived, what Jethro should have taken is the Bloodstone scepter. Then used it to make Torch give up his entire hoard and position as Dragon Lord.
Intresting how Torch felt any fear at losing. Thats just granting him mercy from killing his people off through his own war of ego?
Yes, but that heat only exists for a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second, so it can't transfer almost any of that heat.
You're assuming it works like Earth. Personally, my theory is that the Equestrian sun is the size of the moon, in orbit around the planet (and artificial, but that's not comparable with every story)
Fights are measured in eighths of a second, so five seconds is an eternity. That's actually longer than most fights last on average.
And the bigger something is, the more oxygen it needs. Hence why dinosaurs couldn't exist today. They're too big and oxygen isn't as abundant.
What, the sun and moon rising and setting weren't enough for you?
That's not just heat, it's heat generated by friction. Thus, it would absolutely affect him. It would be like taking a power sander to a rock. It wouldn't kill him, but it would tear at his scales.
Not gonna lie. This makes absolutely no sense. In the Bible, Legion was literally a legion of demons possessing one soul. As in, it wasn't one being but a multitude of them. Jethro is still just one being, regardless of how he sounds.
I know a certain Lucario that would take issue with that
You know, he doesn't have to pass out after every fight, right?
All in all, a great fight. The 'Legion' bit is a little cringe but not something that'll really impact my enjoyment of the story. I can't wait to see what happens next.
wow a amazing chapter..
and the ending of the battle was awesome.
ok i was going to post this Friday and forgot life got in the way..
11350538
Ermac.
11350214
Wow. Really? I'm going to have to disagree with you. I understand where you are coming from. But I think you're completely wrong.
(Que the "someone's wrong on the internet" meme.)
Morbiusgreen, please don't be discouraged by this comment. I enjoyed the action and the character building within this chapter. Especially how we got to learn how the swords interact with their wielder.
I love character development and world building too. But if you look at it from the same perspective of how you view action, character growth is also "just a lot of 'things' happening."
You know why? Because that's what stories are. "Things" happening. Whether they are character building things, or action things.
Lord of the rings - a group of friends melt a ring in a pool of lava.
Harry Potter - A young wizard grows into an adult wizard.
1980s porn video - plumber uses his "tool" to fix "pipe."
Moby Dick - angry fisherman yells at whale.
It's the "things" that each of these story has, and how they're told that make them interesting and fun to read.
As I said, I can understand that you don't read for the action, but to dismiss it entirely would be to dismiss half of this story. And that's your prerogative. I just feel sorry for you that you choose to skip so much of this great story.
Moving on to what's important: wen moar?
11350713
The Mortal Kombat character or the technical term? Either way I don't see what you're getting at.
11350937
Oh I’m not discouraged. Everyone’s different. Writing action is still hard for me but I’m glad the majority of you seem to enjoy it.
11350937
You are indeed wrong. Goodbye.
I loved this chapter and jethro is now a king well that going to be intesting and you update so much I wont have to wait long
"Sorry this took so long. I wanted it to be as action packed as it could be, but even now it just feels like crap. But I can't think of what else to add. I still hope you enjoy, though."
DUDE. You are your own harshest critic. This is NOT "crap." This is, arguably, the polar opposite of "crap." Regardless of the level of action, or the amount, or how drawn-out a battle scene is, you nail it because your words paint the scenes in our minds. I - and I assume, most of the rest of us - read your descriptions, and can easily visualize what you describe in our minds. That's GOLDEN. A ton of writers struggle with achieving even half of the visual coherency that you portray. I've read fics, comics, and even published books, where the author doesn't seem to be able to portray a scene as well as you do.
Your battle scene may not have lived up to your own expectations, but please believe me when I say that what you gave us was still amazing. Please, be kind to yourself, and keep up the good work.
KA!ME!HA!ME!HAAA!!!!
aaaaand now he has an empire.
*when he starts to lose it* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1daGIebkZRc