gman1311
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could be interesting; just remember to pay attention to spelling and complete sentences so the reader doesn't get distracted.
thats all i have to say really. good luck.
11152940
Thanks Man, I’ll do my best.
The story takes place around season 3, after the crystal empire is freed from Sombra.
I believe the word is edgelord.
11153739
I won't deny it. I love me some edge lords.
11153740
Fair
I forgot to say, but I'm not including Equestria girls in this fic. I had to do something that made sense without completely ignoring the issue.
its been 3 chapters and your still leaving words out of sentences. kinda pisses me off tbh, but the chapters are short and its only 1 or 2 so its easy to get over.
i like the chaos building up.
I’m sorry about that, I’ll see what I can do about that.
Really happy right now! I got featured again! Thank you again all of you!
This is a good story so far.
11160624
Thank you, and thank you for the favorite!
11160669
Your welcome
I was wondering why the TFH tag was her.
The moment the name oleander came up, I was like "Olly?" I will be looking forward to whatever chaos will come from this.
I do believe that Xeuz is the most innocent out of all of them.
11161201
There weren’t enough TFH stories, so that’s why I added olly in with a few other characters.
Revan will need a lot of upgrades if he wants to fight on par with three alicorns, plus the Element Bearers.
Nice job on Olly for putting up a fight. Though unlike TFH, I don't think she had predators to fight and polish her skills.
I did forget that Revan is mostly dealing with kids.
11161256
*Remembers the princesses, especially Celestia getting bodied*
But in all seriousness, I’m going to write the princesses being rather strong and put the whole wending incident of Celestia getting her ass kicked by a bug, under the rug. I’ll use the logic of her ‘not wanting to kill and burn Everypony alive in the room’ as everyone else does.
Plus I remember that one episode with day breaker, so sunbutt can be pretty powerful when she wants to be. She just needs to get off her ass and stop eating cake.
Anyways I put Luna above Celestia in combat. So pretty strong.
As for Cadence
11161289
In all seriousness it would be a pretty boring story if they were all pushovers. Okay maybe expect Cadence.
We bring the Dazzles without forgetting about Equestria Girls, but that problem was cut off in the same chapter, so no problem.
Not your smartest move Cozy, but it made Glave very happy.
Olly is basically an exotic unicorn.
Dang it!
11162076
Had to do it.
Careful Raven, if you keep saving random Ponies from monsters, they will start thinking you can be converted via friendship.
With Raven's plan, it seems that Equestria won't have to deal with him, for a while.
Poor Xeuz, not every pony is as kind as the mane 6...then I remembered how mistrustful they were of Zecora in the first place.
Do you guys like the new chapter?
We all know that Cozy has grown so angry that she can be a little demon in disguise.
At least Raven is taking the alicorns seriously despite their recent blunders.
Xeuz being flustered for a bit was cute.
11164269
Someone has to take the alicorns seriously.
11162254
I just found this and I've caught up overnight.
Im liking it.
Monk
"The idea simply stated that when personal feelings are mixed with power, bad things happen." -Corvo
11166892
Thank you I’ll do my best and keep it interesting!
I’m with you on the whole ‘Taking over Equestria cause of the princessess’ ideals’. After all, I can help on that too. Just tell me what is happening, or what’s going on and I’ll deliver you solutions to eventual problems. Also, change the Outcasts name into the Exiles. I would’ve gone with Banished but was taken thanks to Halo.
11168622
Woah, not taking over equestrian, I'm going with something more reasonable. Also I had something in mind about the groups name, it'll take a bit before we get to the point.
First contact with an Alicorn. Let's see if Raven will live up to the hype his charges gave him.
Shame nobody believed the Pillars. I do hope they manage to contact Celestia soon or for Luna or Sun-butt to notice them. Perhaps Raven can make a comment of it.
So now Photo Finish is added to the list of monsters in disguise. They better hurry before Raven and his small crew leave for the seas and beyond.
I like this. Certain characters showing up out of the woodwork, Twilight turning into a creature of darkness, and most satisfying of all. Celestia’s plan to turn her student into an alicorn so she can take the throne in the future has been cut off completely.😈
11168826
I won't lie; I love reading fics where Celestia's plans are ruined. i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/515/573/a95.jpg
I still love her, though; I just wished she had backup plans or something instead of the "I knew you could do it." crap. Seriously who sends Six mares up a mountain to get rid of a dragon. I know peace, love, and friendship, but damn.
If I may make a suggestion Gman1311? We want to wound and defeat Luna, not kill her. It be too soon to just kill her out right.
11169556
Just wait and see fam, should have it up by tomorrow!
Are you ever going to write a story featuring Laby?
11170677
Who? Got to be more clear friend.
What those guards failed to realize, is that those kids don't want to be rescued.
And I'm guessing that other guard was captured by Vinyl, Photo and the other monsters that converged?
For his first confrontation against an Alicorn, we already see he's at a handicap when fighting against flying enemies. No long range. Otherwise, he can't hold back against Alicorns.
our hero needs a firearm at a distance, it should somehow be enough against Alicorn, for example Jevelin XD
Good. Thank you for sparring Luna.
I know it was hard to fight her, but the main thing is: We get away scot free {For now}
Also, what is your little band of merry foals and human gonna do now?
11171826
They're heading towards the Nasod archives, but where is going to be a surprise.
Or you know, this happened by accident? If someone wanted to make an attack properly, they wouldn't aim for a mountain.
Good, good. Now that we know how well Raven is in a fight with Luna, we must be more cautious than ever now. From what I just witnessed shows that Raven alone is weak against alicorns and needed help in the process. Furthermore, in the next chapter you should include Celestia. Mainly to get the story with more insight. What I’m saying actually is, she needs to know what happened between Luna and Raven. That way she increases guard security so the foals would take things up a notch as should you.
Also, you should watch your spelling; let alone what your actually writing down. Oh, and remember what you said about ‘not’ conquering Equestria? Well Newsflash: Like Dr Doom’s way to world peace, to first conquer the world. Even the Wakanda Panther god told him to do it.
11175672
Sorry about the spelling and some of the grammar. Honestly, Grammarly doesn't catch everything. Again it's not about conquering Equestria, but more of reviving the human race first and doing something about the Sun and Moon.
11175672
Also, the ability to fly is stupid powerful.
11175713
How can you revive humanity, when even they do not exist in Equestria?
11175720
That's why he's going to the nasod archives to find answers. Yes his going there to find out if he can teach an earth pony magic, but his main goal is to find Out what happened.
His going to help the foals out with their goals, but he has his own.
I'm liking this so far, I just hope it's doesn't get too dark in how Raven will go about it. It puts me off sometimes.
Well, guess what gonna happen?
11168856
I like how the dragon thing is the one that bothers people the most and I agree, but let's not forget everything else that Celestia sent the Main 6 to do. And I agree with you, I still love Celestia but I wish that she would have a back up, but then again things usually got sorted so we don't really know if she had a back up or not.