• Member Since 15th Dec, 2021
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CommonDash


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A shipgirl in MLP

What we have here is a very annoying Plot bunny which never went away. All because the main character of Worm and a destroyer from WW2 share a name, then for some absurd reason my head says yeah! That’ll definitely work in my little pony. I can’t just let it be a standard destroyer though Worm has tinkers which could do cool things to the warship right? So what if there is little to no fighting in my little pony. I want a flying super destroyer which could probably blow up Malaysia.



“Sorry Taylor, the truth is. The game was rigged from the start. Gate!” Contessa shouts as a Gate open up just in front of Kelphri.


Taylor Hebert post GM

Chapters (43)
Comments ( 173 )

Interesting. Veeerry interesting. Looking forwards to seeing more.

Will they see a hollow mare filled with many mini ponies?! Who knows!? Well,other than you

I love the blunt honesty of what she wants to do xD haha.

Just casually maling a steam engine xD

Who is Taylor Hebert, and what's GM?

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Taylor Hebert is the main character from Worm the first book in a Parahuman series by Wildbow.
The book has very dark undertones however it’s amazing.
Golden Morning or GM is the ending to the first book.

How would Taylor have a vinyl copy of The Red Baron? It didn't get composed till 2019.

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Good question however… I could make something up since the story of Worm takes place on an alternate earth. While in truth I love their music and wanted to use it.

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Not to mention the Time shenanigans that where pulled off to get the destroy ready before the betrayal.

What dragon God they talking about is it Godzilla 🤔🤔🤔

And so, celstia realizes she has let equestria become to peaceful and complacent. Huzzah

Ah, let heartbreak commence. I shall prepare my heart

Who has been cutting onions.

First time I seen a meme lord Contessa

I feel like she is going to be exploited to some degree, and I don't like the idea of that.

I wonder how Tirek would feel about experiencing a radiation bath for a couple seconds. I mean, just exposing him to Taylor's reactor ought to cure him of his egomaniacal ways.

Okay, an interesting premise but there are some issues. First, you need to re-edit this thing, there are typos everywhere. Below is an example that stuck out:

“26? That’s actually impressive considering the USS enterprise had 20.” A woman says

“Yeah Rebecca, it got 15 in WW2 two in Korea, and 6 in Vietnam.” The man says

You need periods at the end after "says" for both lines, this is a reoccurring problem throughout the chapter. Next, place commas before the quotation marks, as well as decapitalizing the first letters

after

the quotation marks. Then there's the fact that you say the ship got 26 stars yet 15 + 2 + 6 = 23... also either use the numeral for all of them or spell them all out. Because 15, two, and 6 kinda breaks the flow.

Hmm, the chapter pacing seems a bit rushed, but I'll read the next few chapters to see if you meant it to seem hectic or not.

All in all, I'm curious to see where you take this.

Alright a few more typos that stood out, but there were quite a few more:

Spy Glass is sitting aboard her ship. The Rolling Waves, it’s a small Cutter which is one of 80 ships in the Equestrian navy. - Spy Glass is sitting aboard her ship, the Rolling Waves, a small Cutter which is one of 80 ships in the Equestrian navy.

I can see that my worries from the first chapter carry over... An interesting premise and the plot seems laid out well enough, but the typos and the pacing are acting as an anchor.

Entertaining... Though I'm confused at how Taylor's dream went. Eh, par for the course regarding dreams I suppose. Heh, aught to make Luna curious though.

Once again, the typos... ouch. There are more than what I've pointed out below.

“Thine name tis Luna, - "Mine name is Luna, ("Thine" means "yours", and "tis" means "it is".)

A bit choppy in places, but you did a good job of getting the emotions of the chapter through. Also, that was a great song at the beginning. Definitely something I'm adding to my playlists.

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not entirely betting on it, but like the way u think

This will be an interesting turn for equestria

Say hello to my friend. His name is burrrt, burrrt the Vulcan cannon. And he loves to say his name.

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The only problem I see is that her guns have yet been Re-supplied if the clicking and the hey from her crew telling her that they haven't been re-supplied unless she is able to do so herself all she would have is her main guns which would cause a lot of collateral damage to the surrounding area if not to the town itself.

Next time on... My little pony: destroyers are magic.

"What, what magic is this!? Why can i not take it from you!?"
"It's not magic, it's explosives." *Boom*

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Well, assuming this is going the the normal ship girl rules, they resupply by eating. Through some unexplained shenanigans the food restocks their fuel, supplies and ammunition

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… well I need to change that line now…

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Oh nooo xD hope it is a good change instead of a bad one

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You literally put word for word what I had typed out. I’m honestly kinda laughing at it.

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Yep back on the base in Baltimare she nearly ran the kitchen out of food trying to fully resupply herself.

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Are you sure you don't mean the A-10 minigun which is the original source of the modern battlefield banshee sound of brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt? Because if I wanted to put a flashy ciws in that wasn't lasers, I would spring for about 30-40 A-10s.

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there are different terms for what are mechanically the same weapon at different calibers. minigun, Gatling cannon, electrically operated rotary cannon, and Vulcan cannon are different names for the same weapon system. no lasers involved for anything other then targeting.

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Hahahaha xD love it xDD haha

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Yeah xD until they told her she can't eat any more xD

You know, this didn't feel epic enough. For either of them. Then again, Taylor was basically given free reign because Pinkie. So the queen of escalation was told "weapons free" and her first choice was hellfire spam followed by missile racks, instead of doing some lumberjacking and introducing Equestria to the brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt saw.

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When I watched twilight fight Triek in the show we see twilight and Triek literally tank attacks that level mountains. Several of the attacks in the show looked like low yield nuclear explosions so if Triek were to be defeated by Taylor it would either be repeated bombardment by tungsten rods at high speeds or Triek doing something dumb. Afterall all the missiles is about 52,500 tones of explosives which is about 1/10 the power of the Tsar bomba. If Taylor hit him with the tomahawks first and they all detonated at once with no warning that probably would’ve been the end of him. However the hellfires let him know to put his shield up. Compared to modern day nukes the nukes from the Cold War are actually considered low-yield with most modern ones getting an estimate of roughly 100 kilotons. So Triek’s already cracked shield taking one of those wouldn’t happen. So now he’s severely injured, and believes the radiation around him is leftover residual Magic from a spell that powerful.

So he does what he normally does and steals the “magic”.

When other ponies show up, tirek will look more akin to a dead fallout centaur than tirek xD

Shipgirl Taylor is such an underappreciated genre. I've always wanted to read a fic where she becomes a Bismarck class or something, and has to deal with not only the whole "Oh dear, I'm now a 7 foot tall blonde with tits the size of a watermelon. I don't think I can hide this from my dad," but also the inevitable PR nightmare that would be, especially in a city with full-on swastika Heil Hitler Nazis running around.

Shitting on the S9 with Krupp steel would be a blast to read, make no mistake, but all the logistical interpersonal crap--not something Worm itself does all that well, mind you--would be very fun to get into.

“The body?” Luna asks

“I’m sending it to the sun.” Celestia says matter of factly.

das' about as "kill it with fire" as one can get

Proper disposal procedure from Celestia there. Fuck lead, make him a solar satellite with no protection from heat or impacts.

I kind of like the idea that tirek wqs still semi conscious when celestia says "im sending it to the sun" as just a last screw you moment to tirek before they pass.
This is anither fun chapter!

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I have it written down in my notes that Taylor has the Phalanx system rather than the Goal Keeper. So she’s shooting 20mm instead of 30 like the A-10. Though I don’t know what the M810 Helix point defense weapon shoots however since it’s miniaturized and replaced the Oerlikon cannons I’m assuming it’s shooting 12.7mm at a significantly higher rate of Fire than the original gun.

O God the smae tactics from Vietnam which side tactics.

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Let's just assume that both sides tactics are being used.

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Yes however they have to plant the rice fields before they can burn them.

Eh, EqG can deal with Abyssals. We got Taylor confusing ponies on accident. And on purpose. Also, maybe now Twilight will take her seriously when she says she is meant for the sea.

Is ths bar interdementional?

Sunset is gonna get drafted into the navy now xD

Used to orbit the Sun? Twilight is a flat earther

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I mean Celestia moves the sun. It’s almost like how it was once thought Apollo would pull the sun across the sky on a chariot.

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