• Member Since 13th Jan, 2018
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ShowShine


A fanfic writer who’s trying her best

T

After Twilight runs away from home and takes Spike with her, she finds a small town called Ponyville. Will she be able to stay there without anyone finding her?

Contains: blood and violence

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 82 )

Two stories in one day? Wow, that will probably be a lot of work to finish. Good luck, and make sure you don't end up trapped in Silent Hill :twilightsmile:

9384274
I told myself I’m not aloud to write any new stories unless I publish at least five.

9384285
Ok then. Again, good luck, don't become a victim of Silent Hill... I mention that game way too much...

Probably could use editing but

At first you had my intrigue, then everything exploded. Now you have my attention. I’m excited to read it and the challenges filly Twi has ahead!

Wow.
That got pretty dark.
Looking forward to more!

huh, interesting. i am pretty sure i am not the only one who expected the normal bout of Twilight overreacting. what do you think?

Discord: "As long as she doesn't hurt Fluttershy, I couldn't care less what she does to random background ponies I have never heard of."

Mephisto: "Meh, just means more pony souls to torment. We get so few of those."

Amaterasu: "Frankly, anything that would get under that pretender's skin is good in my book."

Ra: "I couldn't agree more."

Other then some minor errors it was a good chapter

praise da lord!!! more has come!!!

dang, this is deep!

Friend get! Also, nice job blasting the timberwolf. Really liked how impactful it felt as a scene. Really liked reading what you have and hopeful for the future! Keep up the great writing.

Hope spikes eye gets better

Well at least he will look intimidating as hell in the future
9419424

Spike can't seem to catch a break in your stories, first he lost his innocence and now his eye

9420182
He didn’t lose it,he just blind through it

I feel like the bridge should of been first priority but that's just me

I just want to clarify, they only fixed up Twilight's room and a small part of the castle right?
Because at the moment it reads as if they fixed up the entire castle in one day.

9438757
They fixed a lot of it, but their are a few places that need to be fixed.

9438766
Then that stallion needs a raise.

I get the feeling sometime in the future Princess Celestia will appear and tell her that nopony was actually killed and all injuries they received were not life-threatening.

But it's your story, so I'll just wait and see what you have for us.

Achievement Unlocked: A Rarity of A Friend. 10G

I couldn't resist!

I wonder how Nightmare Moon's going to react when she sees the new decor?

Also, I would love if Twilight said this during the confrontation with Nightmare Moon.

"Now do me a favor, Nightmare Moon. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Twilight is gonna spoil spike rotten

9542445
She really is

9542447
Good thing granny Smith is there to show her the ropes

9542450
One reason Spike won’t be too spoiled is cause he gives most of his stuff to Applebloom

Are you trying to kill me with this adorableness overload?! Because it's working!

I like the setup and the reason for Twilight leaving. However, I feel the action when a bit father on the dark scale then it needed to.
Twilight's experiment destroying the school is plenty of reason for her to run away. There was no need to include the line about hundreds of ponies dying due to the accident.
Being responsible for the death of hundreds is an extremely dark event to put in a simple running away story. And something that really shouldn't be put in unless you plan to actually explore that idea.

AAAAAHHHHHH! THE CUTE LEVELS! THEY'RE OVER 9000!

WHY DO YOU TORTURE US SO!! EVIL EVIL PERSON! YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR THIS TORTURE! CUTE, FUNNY AND WELL WRITTEN CHAPTERS RELEASED EVERY 4 OR SO WEEKS! HOW DARE YOU!

9542451
ohh, we skipping the silly crush he had on Rarity and giving him a more age appropriate love interest this story? that is good. i can just imagine Spike (having been raised by Twilight instead of mostly sunbutt) trying to woo the CMC with math derivatives and magic formulas. it would be hilarious.

9557961
I’m probably not going to get Spike to woo Applebloom and Sweetie Belle because he’s known them since they were babies, but since Scootaloo would be the new one, he’ll try to charm her and most likely fail

9559284
Well, you could. Some of the greatest relationships that have worked were friends since childhood. Just, unless you redeem them beforehand, don't have him try to woo DT and/or SS or you might lose all of your readers.

9559315
I wouldn’t even dream of him wooing DT or SS. If anything I was thinking about making Dinky blind so they both bond over that and become close friends, maybe something more.

Quite the interesting setup we have here. I'll have to read more soon. This chapter gets a 7/10 for great.

Will this be continued?

If a single filly unicorn can do so well, maybe the Apple's will finely start hiring unicorns lol
#apple pride
#earth pony pride

She may not have a choice one day

9697815
Oh she won’t one day

9697908
And that day she will hope won't cone but it will

9697917
I already have plans for her going back in the future, but luckily for her, she’ll be much older

9697922
And what of her family?

9697930
They’ll be thrilled to see her

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