11452286
Слушай, ну чего ты такой злой-то?

11456721
А чего злой-то?
Он молодец. Не вижу злобы.

11456740
Точку в конце поставил. Точка нагнетает.

Чатик:
- Я в этом платье красивая?
- Да.
- Точно?
- Да.
- Точно-преточно?
- Да.
- Блин, ты так пишешь, будто не точно(

11456762
Вот сейчас я могу заявить, что виноват перевод.
Я до него писал без точек. Теперь пишу с точками.

11456837
- Я почему раньше добрый был? Потому что переводом не занимался...
:)

11457438
Согласен.

11465784
I was very surprised when here, on a site from which, as I thought, the Russian Ficbook borrowed a lot, there was no "Public beta" function, when you simply select a fragment of text and mark it for the author as containing an error and writing how it would be correct. Fimfiction developers should definitely think about this. The absence of such a tool is a big omission.

11466144
С уже прошедшим новым кстати.

11467004
Взаимно! Пусть он для вас будет лучше и добрее предыдущего)

11467032
Война Специальная военная операция закончится - уже будет лучше. А так - пишу рассказ. Слова вроде идут. Правда я опять не уверен в том, что он будет логически и/или сюжетно хорошо построен, но, как правильно сказал Том Клэнси: "Автор не может правильно оценить собственные рассказы".
Умный в плане писательства мужик был.

11484416
The first chapters are better proofread, since everyone who undertook to help the translator with his work started with them. Alas, no one stayed long enough...

11484416
I can give you the opportunity to improve it.
Here we fucking go again, блять.

11531499
I had such an idea, oddly enough. But... :)

11531809
Уж простите меня за мой английский, но я сука уверен, что оно тут где-то есть. Это фимфикшен.

11532252
Being determines consciousness.
And do not forget that the personality of MC is no longer 100% human, largely mixed with the Nightmare's personality.

I hadn't noticed that for some reason the quick reply is not posted under the same chapter as the post it was written on, but under the last one. Fimfiction, this is inconvenient -_-

PS Removed a few of them down to republish under the actual chapters, without this confusion.

11534373
By marriage, maybe? NM does not seem beyond persuasion…

11534377
I learned something! Now I must study some when I get the opportunity.

11534455
That one looks really sad. I don’t think I can handle it.

11534373
Понравится - переведу.
Не понравится - буду отдыхать.
У Вас есть два года на всё про всё, пока я буду в армии траву красить в зелёный цвет. (Уж лучше бы в армии был пока "Лишняя" публиковалась)

11546978
Рогатый? Вовсе нет.

11547675
Ну обычно просто говорят "Ну ты хорни", подразумевая, что дрочить меньше надо человек возбуждён.

11547990
Это считается устаревшим, как ни странно. Даже в русском вариант с кавычками - более новый, вариант с тире существовал очень давно. В старых книжках такие диалоги можно найти, у меня "Моби Дик" на английском 50-летней давности есть такой.

А теперь тире (em-dash) используется только для спонтанного разрыва прямой речи и некоторых особых случаев: https://theeditorsblog.net/2018/04/08/when-a-comma-isnt-enough/

11548497
Я совершенно ничего не понял, что тут написано, но я исправил то, что было неправильно.

11551129
Не в переводе дело, а в том, что автор попросту старую версию скинул.

A roller coaster of emotions

I think one that had a good story too.
(Translation and grammar errors aside)

11560096
Thank you! Glad you liked the story :)

You commentators are burning, after I read the original, I decided to come here and find out the opinion of English-speaking people, and then half of them whine that the translation is shit, and the others generally know what they are doing here, the translator and the author are well done, I understand that when you do something, and they whine that nothing it is not clear, then they want to send them to the farm, I just repeat that you are well done (excuse me for my translator)

I'm appreciate to your strive,i don't know how to say,but i think want to thank you that let me know this good story.
Thanks for your translation!

11576921
I can't fucking put the saluting face emoji, but image one.
Thanks.

Благодарю за историю

11592448
Пожалуйста)

11599492
I did my best :)

11602174
This means that the translator has lost sight of the formatting of the text. In the original, messages text is in italics, and the words you specified are - in the form "*unreadable*", which, in my opinion, makes the situation absolutely clear.

11602174
I hate SDL trados.
I hate SDL trados.
I hate SDL trados.
I hate SDL trados.

11560096

11484359

11366494

11354368

11348819

11330620

11326295

11306421
Folks, I need your help. Go to the blog I've posted recently and sound your opinions. I really need this for improving the translation.

11634304
Tell me exactly the numbers of chapters and I'd rewrite them to make them look better. I've put a poll back in my posts, but no one really reacted.

11634985
nah, it's fairly consistent, it's just the style of speech that is unusual, once you wrap you head around it, it becomes quite a decent read

the first couple chapters could use some 'westernization' if you really wanted to get more people to read and become invested, but I will admit I've been listening to the terrible bot narration at work and have gotten through the whole thing with little issue

however, most of the reading comes across quite formal, and in some places, where I imagine things do not translate smoothly, come across as stilted, and make the reader pause

for example, from chapter 21. The Invitation, That Cannot Be Denied:

“Enough!!!” I whipped off a piece of paper from the table sharply and looked at the blurry disgraceful inkblot, crumpled it mercilessly and tossed into a trash can at quills remains’ heels, to another great pile of the same things. “Twilight, pencil! And more paper!”

This part reads well, but saying;
“Enough!!!” I whipped off a piece of paper from the table sharply, looked at the blurry disgraceful inkblot, and crumpled the paper mercilessly, tossing it into a trash can at quills remains’ heels, into a growing pile. “Twilight, pencil! And more paper!”

and I'm not sure what exactly the 'at quills remains’ heels' part means, but I can infer you might mean the leftover ends of the quills after they break, which a better word would be 'stubs'

“P-pencil?” Librarian asked nervously. “But... No, no one writes a letter with them! This is not done!”

"This is not done!" I feel is another translation artifact, it is a perfectly valid statement, and conveys all emotion and info you need to understand the shock of using a pencil instead of a quill, but no native english speaker will read that as something that people exclaim naturally. You might instead exclaim "You can't!"
typically informal speech is abbreviated as much as possible, usually doubly so when conveying strong emotions or exclaiming something

I turned my head slowly and gazed at the unicorn. What the fuck should I give about it being done or not, you stupid horse?! You was said: “Pencil”! Get me it and don't talk gibberish!

first What the fuck should I give about it being done or not, - similar to last point, something like 'why should I give a fuck about using a pencil?' reads smoother
then 'You was said:' is basically declaring past tense 'was' on an already past tense word 'said', and even then, it's the wrong word, and it's correct to just write 'You said:'
I also think you're also referring too an internal monologue of NMM since it's not in quotes, then it'd be 'I said:'

in all, the passage would be largely re-written in some form similar to:

“Enough!!!” I whipped off a piece of paper from the table sharply, looked at the blurry disgraceful inkblot, and crumpled the paper mercilessly, tossing it into a growing pile beside a trash can. “Twilight, pencil! And more paper!”

“P-pencil?” The librarian asked nervously. “But... No, no one writes a letter with them! You can't!”

I turned my head slowly and gazed at the unicorn. why should I give a fuck about using a pencil, you stupid horse?! I said: “Pencil”! Get it and don't talk gibberish!

now that's just my thoughts on it, I'm no writer, and certainly no editor, but it seems like your best bet is reaching out to an established editor who is familiar with longer projects, this level of change also depends on how naturalized you'd like it to read

it is very easy to mentally read this story from the perspective of a russian man, and with some of the cultural references, I think is pointless to avoid, and changes the character too much to justify

but again, it's actually a pleasant read, and if I had the time, I'd be happy to go back through and point out the odd bits here and there, but I'm afraid I hardly even have the time to write for myself

11638223
Thanks for the mistakes. I'll fix them as soon as I'm on leave.

11747372
А что вы ожидаете от языка в котором ну очень много матов и очень много различных терминов которые означают от 3 до 4 различных состояний человека или природа или чего-то такого тут каждое слово важно по крайней мере в нашем языке в русском

11767081
Не в этом дело, а в плохой вычитке. Ошибки можно совершить на любых языках.