• Member Since 11th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 24th, 2014

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I have nothing to say. :|

T

Fluttershy, element of Kindness, timid pegasus with a clean record has fallen in love. Not with just any stallion... Big Macintosh. With her personality pulling her back, it will be almost impossible to fess up to the one she loves.

Big Macintosh, stallion of few words, a silent thinker. He has fallen for a mare... Not with just any mare... Fluttershy. Torn between breaking one mare's heart or another, it seems almost impossible for him to show his true feelings. Love, hate, regrets and hangovers are sure to ensue.


Rated teen because of shipping. Random Tag because I literally am just doing this for the hell of it.


This story will also contain other ships.

3-5 years in the future.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 100 )

It wasn't until someone posted a good-luck post of FlutterMac for me and my fiancee that I got into FlutterMac. I can't wait for more!! :fluttershysad::heart::eeyup:

~Raxel~:heart:

I don't understand where the 8 dislikes came from....this story's pretty epic to me :3 keep up the awesome work.

And also FINALLY someone else notices the lack of FlutterMac on this site. Shoot, its like all I see in the mew stories is FlitterDash :P

I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE TO THE WORLD BY GIVING THIS FIC ANOTHER THUMBS UP!! :yay::twilightsmile::ajsmug::pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritywink:

1266532

Ikr? The only fanfics that pop up are Flutterdash and Twimac.:fluttercry:

Ugh, the dislikes probably came from some spam trolls and haters. Oh well Dx

Thanks! Too many spelling mistakes due to auto correct, and I have the overuse of punctuation, but thanks!:heart:

1266750 and with that thumbs up I just pushed this fics like ratio over the dislike. You can thank me later. TwiMac? Hmmm:heart::heart: dont see a lot of that...don't mind not seeing it either. Either way heres some FluterMac love :yay::heart::eeyup:

FFFLLLLLUUUTTTTTTEEEEERRRRRMMMMAAAAAACCCCCC!!!! :pinkiehappy:

I really like this story so far. A couple typos such as "wong flapping" lol but still, great story.

Couple typos, but hey, the concept is well done, and it doth give unto me mine warm fuzzies. :eeyup:

>> budswillblossom No problem man/woman it deserves it.:moustache:

1267646

As I said, my autocorrect is sh*t...

I can't get away with anything Dx

1266841
THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE -shot
Ehh, I think the only other Mac couple I like seeing is Cheerimac, the others don't make sense to me... :yay::heart::eeyup:

1268693 crap where did those hearts come from? Ah well glitchy glitchy computer.

Cuteness within acceptable parameters, if somewhat generic so far.

So sad:fluttercry: And I agree that there should be more Fluttermac:yay::heart::eeyup: At least in my story there is some of it even if it is not about them.:scootangel:

1319392

Sadnesssssss:fluttercry:

Yeah, this site. Every 20 flutterdash or Rarishy there is one fluttermac...

I'll have to read your fic!

Also, thanks for the favourite.

Wow. Not a lot of comments on this chapter yet xD

Oh well. I don't expect it to blow up like a grenade. But if you like it, please give me some feedback so I can spruce up my writing skills for the next chapter. Thank you~:heart:

I really like where this is going. I am excited to see what going to happen. :fluttercry: I just wanna give Fluttershy a hug right now.

1320922
Thank you. :twilightsmile:

:fluttercry: so so sorry dear Fluttershy... I think you should give her a hug!

Preread comment: The use of the words "Fluttershy" and "rushing" together in the same sentence makes me a little nervous. But the Random/Romance tags are really turning me on.

With that said, let us begin.

1328019
xD only to rush to Mac's side or for Angel bunny, of course.

Yes. Let us begin on the "epic" journey about to unfold. Planning on maybe 10-18 more chapters.

Alright, let's do this. I'll try to only comment on important things, but I'll probably fail.

"....above-average intelligence..."

That's a bit much for a compound adjective, if you ask me. If you want to tell us that much about a character (one whom we already know, by the way), just devote a whole sentence to it.

"I wish...Big Macintosh was my special somepony..."

I'm liking that use of formatting, excellent touch! It's very Fluttershy. Throughout the story it's used very nicely.

Fluttershy sighed, she had this hopeless crush...

Sorry to go all editor on you, but you really should split that into two sentences, right where the comma is.

I can't help but think that separating the flashback in a more significant way would have been a good idea...

Now, this last bit is hard. In fact, it's almost impossible to fix. But I really think that Macintosh talks too much. I'm sorry, I just had to say it. There's nothing you can do, really. Without dialogue, nothing happens.

Anyways this is pretty good. Not as random as I hoped, but... Anyways, can you please take out the "Announcement" Chapter? And maybe get an editor. And maybe try and make your author's notes a little more subtle.

Okay, nothing left to complain about! Write on, my friend, and you will improve!

1328737


THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You helped me a lot, and I appreciate it :pinkiehappy:.


Also, fixed the areas! About the editor part, I dunno. I'll have to over look my stuff before posting it, that's for sure.

1328737

Also, the reason why BM talks so much is because he was little, and became more reserved after the death of his parents.

1329059 OHHHH... Alright, alright. That makes a lot more sense now, but it wasn't entirely apparent while I was reading. Like I said, it might have been good to have a more significant barrier between the flashback and the current narrative, and to go into a little more detail.

1329123

Mmhhmm. I just italicized it so it would confirm That it is a flashback :pinkiehappy:

1329041 Anyways, don't mention it. I know what it's like to be a new author and needing criticism. Heck, nobody ever really stops needing criticism. Anyways, there's a few more minor things that I'd like to bring up, but I haven't the time right now. I'll come back to this tomorrow!

1329132 It's definitely an improvement, but there are some things you could add to make it even better. On the morrow, sir madam, on the morrow!

1329203 My apologies, miss! However, I noticed you made the assumption tha I was male as well! :ajsmug:

Okay, about that flashback. Just to clarify, in my mind this is where the "flashback" begins.

She remembered that she, not being a terribly good flyer, had been stuck on the ground and found an apple orchard with the largest, juiciest apples she had ever seen.

But you see, it's not very well introduced. We're just sort of thrown into it. My advice would be to have a paragraph whose only purpose is to say "Okay, now you are reading a flashback."

It could look something like this (edits in bold):

Fluttershy sighed pleasantly, recalling the time when she had first met Big Mac.

It was a blustery day, and Fluttershy had been [give a reason why she was flying about, seeing as it's not something 'Shy usually does for fun.] She remembered that she, not being a terribly good flyer, had been stuck on the ground and found an apple orchard with the largest, juiciest apples she had ever seen.

See what I'm saying? Because you've devoted a significant portion of the chapter to that memory, it makes sense to give it a proper introduction. Plus, this way you can avoid having it all in italics.

Years later, when Applebloom was born and his mother died giving birth, and his father died of depression after losing his wife Macintosh became more reserved, isolating himself to the farm, and the apple stand.

That's a huge run-on sentence, better split it up.

...but had gotten sidetracked

That's a redundant past tense.

Almost all of Rarity's greetings are to her are always very musical.

Dunno what went on there, but it's quite the mess.

I'm not corageus like Rainbow...

Perhaps you mean courageous?

No. Your not.

Everyone's favourite mistake...

Anyways, there are a bunch more little things, but that's as much as I'll be doing for you for now. There are lots of people on this site who would be willing to help you out, though. Check out the two major proofreading groups, the Proofreaders group and Looking for Editors.

Good luck and happy writing!

Twilight:flutterrage: me not happy with you:pinkiecrazy:

QUESTION FOR ALL

WHICH COUPLES SHOULD I DO NEXT?

Soarindash, Soarinjack, Pinkieburn, Pokeypie, Carajack, Rainbowfire, RariPants, CometSparkle or Twiorion. List others if you want.

1376842Soarindash, carajack, Raripants, Pinkieburn and cometsparkle:eeyup: those are my votes:ajsmug:

OW!! I felt that insult Twi just threw a Flutters, like literally, I just felt a punch in the gut when I read those words.

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