• Member Since 8th May, 2021
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BonnyDelights

BonnyDelights Joined 8th May, 2021 · Offline

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Comments ( 47 )
Applefai
Applefai #1 · Oct 25th, 2021 · · · Bonnie’s Place ·
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Pretty good story, only a few errors.


The then needs to be a than

“Well… no, see sug the ability is rare, and only slightly more common among mares then stallions, but we’re talking maybe one in every few thousand ponies, even less realize they have it.” Bonnie stopped at a door labeled Staff Room and listened for a moment. “And only recently had my spells actually made it safe.”

There needs to be an a to make pointers

Bonnie gave a soft chuckle and patted Twilight on the back. “Well don’t worry about it now, I’m sure I can give ya some pointer sug and since you’re The princess’ student I’ll even let ya eat here for free once a week.”

We needs to be we'll or add will after we

“We serve normal food too sug, now why don’t you head back to the princess while I go check up on my server that nearly got ate.” Bonnie said with a smile. “We discuss lessons and what not later.” Bonnie waited for Twilight to leave before heading upstairs.

Its needs to be it's in this case. I got confused with it to, but it's is it is and its is plural

“Well the spell makes it so it doesn’t hurt and feels good. All the food spells do.” Lemon Patch said “Its fun time and best job I’ve had.”

Overall great story man

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #2 · Oct 25th, 2021 · · · Bonnie’s Place ·
Reply

Thanks for the feed back

lacko312
lacko312 #4 · Oct 26th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
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bý chance , are ýou a furrý ? :D

lacko312
lacko312 #6 · Oct 26th, 2021 · · 1 · Twilight’s first lesson ·
Reply

11027824
somehow that makes me afraid to ask :/ , there is lot of weird stuff around furrý communitý

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #7 · Oct 26th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
Reply

11027848
its more I am not a "fully" furry or anything but am pretty okay the "cleaner" stuff

CrimsonWalker
CrimsonWalker #10 · Oct 26th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
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“Not really, you’re a lot more subconsciously away of yourself ya think, ponies or anybeing is innately.” Bonnie had a seat on her haunches and rubbed her belly absently. “So it is easier to shrink yourself safely than other living things.”

I believe you mean “aware” here.

ANW
ANW #12 · Oct 27th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
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“Without a reformation spell setup or digestion proofing Fluttershy would be a one a trip by accident.”

Don't you mean way?

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #14 · Oct 27th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
Reply

11028155
Its fixed now, meant to be a one way trip

B_25
B_25 #15 · Oct 27th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
Reply

Interesting stuff so far!

rikusorasephiroth
rikusorasephiroth #17 · Oct 29th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
Reply

Flutterpred is best pred.
Second is Derpy-accidental-pred.

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #18 · Oct 29th, 2021 · · · Twilight’s first lesson ·
Reply

11030760
Well she will make an appearance in a side chapter later

DracoMan671
DracoMan671 #19 · Feb 1st, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
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This is gold, not enough good Vore here on fimfiction. Keep up the delicious work.

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #20 · Feb 1st, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
Reply

11139100
thanks man, I plan to keep this going for a while.

Dinokid11
Dinokid11 #21 · Feb 1st, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
Reply

Excellent work love it keep it up and can’t wait for your next chapter

Comment posted by Applefai deleted Feb 1st, 2022
Applefai
Applefai #23 · Feb 1st, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
Reply

Pretty nice chapter. There are a few errors and thing that need added. But it's good nonetheless. I'll quote the places that need fixing and bold the things that need fixing or added

The door to the restaurant opened and a white unicorn stallion in purple gold trimmed armor walked in. He spoke briefly to the hostess before heading toward Bonnie. His eyes widened at the sight and he quickly crossed his legs to hide an obvious sign of arousal at the sight of Bonnie Delight’s bulging belly and pony filled plot. He cleared his throat loudly.

“I’ll talk to her so don't worry one bit and leave it to Mama Bonnie.” Bonnie smiled cheerful and dropped the illusion on her belly, letting its bugling wriggling form visible for all to see in the corridor of Canterlot Castle, its gurgles muted moans now quite audible. Celestia smiled in response and led her onward to a dark blue door marked with a crescent moon. The princess raised a hoof and knocked on the door.

Or you can use by

“Our dearest sister tells us modern predators are not to dine as they wish upon prey ponies as they once did.” There was an obvious predatory edge to Luna’s voice, one Bonnie had heard and used herself during her younger, less civil years. “She also said you created spells that allow such ponies to reenact their sole purpose in life, is this true?”

Luna’s belly growled and she put her full weight atop Bonnie’s belly pinning her down. The unicorn squirmed under the younger diarch as she made herself comfortable.

“Will these two reform at your place of business little predator?” Luna kept her hungry eyes locked on Bonnie’s as she licked that cream colored belly. The ponies squirming more under the weight, their noises making their enjoyment obvious.

“Prey ponies now pay to get eaten at your place of business?” The night princess tilted her head in amazement.

“Thank you, your highness.” Bonnie sat up and her horn glowed with a matching one around her belly. The couple inside now mostly mush had begun being absorbed by Bonnie’s body her spell hurried the process along. Her flanks and plot swelled before the laughing Princess who smirked.

Bonnie nodded and got up to her feet as a guard escorted one of the stallion meals from her aforementioned eatery.

“One order of Oak Berry here to please.” The rather large and muscular earth pony bowed his head. His size rivaled even the famed Big Mac and his coat was a mellow brown with a hammer cutie mark.

“Glad to hear it your highness, now would you like me with one of our signature toppings or raw as we say.” Oak Berry asked while standing at attention.

“It was only two and spreading any rumors to the contrary carries a sentence of forty-eight hours on my flanks Miss Delight.” Celestia said mocking and sternly as she giggled. “Now I do hope this hasn’t interfered with your busy today too much.”

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #24 · Feb 1st, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
Reply

11139144
Thank you for pointing these out they should be fixed now

DracoMan671
DracoMan671 #26 · Feb 2nd, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
Reply

11139101
Do you plan on any other types of Vore? CV/UB?

BonnyDelights
BonnyDelights #28 · Feb 2nd, 2022 · · · Canterlot Catering ·
Reply

11140127
I will limit cv some as I prefer female/futa preds and While i enjoy cv I know a lot of readers don’f like futa stuff

Earth Writer
Earth Writer #30 · Feb 4th, 2022 · · · Intermission with Fluttershy and Twilight ·
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Oooh, I'm really liking what you're building up here so far!

Applefai
Applefai #33 · Feb 5th, 2022 · · · Intermission with Fluttershy and Twilight ·
Reply

Pretty Good. Just a few errors or needed words but good none the less. I'll do what I did last time and bold the needed stuff.

The pegasus extracted herself carefully from her bed and shoved a dense fluffy pillow into the whimpering Twilight’s searching hooves. She crept quietly out of her room and shut the door with a sigh of relief. She proceeded to feed her animal friends as quietly as possible, a relatively easy feat for the shy pegasus. At least it was until Angel Bunny made his presence known. He thumped onto her back with a frown on his face and dumped his bowl of feed over his keeper’s head. Fluttershy gave a yelp and flung the bowl off her head and into her cuckoo clock, it gave a loud distressed squak before crashing into the floor.

“No Twilight I needed to get up and feed the animals.” Fluttershy said trying to keep the annoyance from her voice. “Angel Bunny decided to make a mess.”

Fluttershy gave the lagomorph on her back a sidelong stare, the presence of her prey-friend making her inner pred pony push through her usual demure nature.

“E-excuse me.” She blushed and bit her lip as Angel started struggling and squirming inside her. “Ohh I’ll have to tell Misses Bunny I need another one of her kids, she’ll be so disappointed.” The pegasus sniffled

“OkaysorryIwillbebacklaterbye!” She quickly blurted out and bolted before she made a fool of herself. The rational part of her mind wondered how she had let Fluttershy of all ponies dominate her, the prey part of it was too busy imaging being back inside her rightful place to listen.

“I really need to ask Zecora to make that taste better… Maybe Bonnie can help?” Fluttershy asked aloud to no one and proceeded to clean the mess of a cuckoo clock as some of her animal friends helped. It was going to be an interesting day.

Don't know if this was intentional to show how scatterbrained she is right now. But just in case

Twilight for her part hurried back to the library and tried to take her mind off of Fluttershy’s stomach by organizing and dusting the books.

“I can’t believe I left this place in such a mess.” She grumbled to herself. “I really need to get a better handle on things.” She hurried along getting everything cleaned as quickly and quietly as she could, her schedule with Fluttershy had made her an early riser even more so than normal leaving her plenty of time before Spike got up. After things were mostly spotless she rushed into the kitchen to make herself and Spike a nice breakfast of hay-bacon and pancakes on trays and took them up to their shared bedroom. Spike was curled up in her bed sound asleep when she slid his tray onto the covers.

“Oh darling, you have to relax, shopping is meant to be fun.” Rarity’s voice intruded on her thoughts. The fashionista had volunteered to join the skittish pegasus to help her muscle through her shopping.

“It's alright darling, he agreed to lower his prices for you.” Rarity nudged her to the counter.

“I insist darling, now let's head over to Sugarcube Corner.” Rarity nudged the shy pegasus along who did her best not to lick her lips at her marshmellow looking friend.

But this was a good chapter, I can't wait to see more.

Mystic Chicken
Mystic Chicken #36 · Feb 6th, 2022 · · · Intermission 2: In which Fluttershy does a thing and schemes ·
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“That’s two~” She whispered to herself with a predatory smile.

Fluttershy is one very hungry pony

Applefai
Applefai #39 · Feb 6th, 2022 · · 1 · Intermission 2: In which Fluttershy does a thing and schemes ·
Reply

Pretty good. Just a few errors and things that need added.

“Of course Twilight, they are our friends, though I think Rarity would add a lot to my plot.” Fluttershy giggled innocently. “I used a potion that shrinks them, but makes them indigestible… but now we need to talk.”

Up to you here, I think the will work better than that

“Fluttershy I-“ Twilight’s attempt to speak was stopped by more pressure from the now very distracting belly.

“Rule one, when it comes to this part of our friendship, I am in charge and your home is my body.” Fluttershy let out a soft growl and smiled. “Any place I want to put you, you’re there, understand?”

“Sure….Sure, but what’s a kumquat?” Twilight panted, her face flushed red while she spoke.

“I still can't believe you did that Fluttershy.” Twilight sat up and looked at her pred friend, trying to avoid the distracting belly.

“Well they were being rude and Rarity's a hypocrite.” Fluttershy flicked her mane hiding her face. “She gets angry when ponies ask about her weight then she asks others.”

A comma should be before anyone named when addressing them

“W-where am I going, Fluttershy?” Twilight stammered, biting her lip.

Or you can use from

“I was tempted to send my treat up my plot to meet our friends,” Fluttershy pulls a bottle of blue swirling liquid out of her saddlebag. “But then I remember someplace soft, comforting, warm and tight you’d enjoy~”

Fluttershy gently scooped up her tiny friend with her hoof and snaked it up between her hind legs. Twilight looked up and realized exactly where she was going.

Might want to use a small variety of words for her sex

“Welcome home little prey~” Fluttershy giggled before pressing her hoof up into her sex, wriggling it back and forth, working tiny Twilight deep into her silt. She moaned and squirmed on her hooves, her knees getting weak from the pleasure as she pushed on, her velvet walls clenched and pulled Twilight from her hoof. The tiny unicorn barely had time to react before she was plowed deep inside her friend. Fluttershy’s soft warm moist walls pulled her deeper and deeper. Fluttershy’s moans echoed around her barely muffled by those fleshy walls. She was pressed against the flexing cervix of Fluttershy's womb, then with a near deafening cry of pleasure of her pred-friend turned new home she was forced inside as femcum flooded out. Twilight collapsed against her womb walls as they hugged her body softly beating in time with Fluttershy’s heart. It wasn’t before the exhaustion of the day and her surroundings lulled her to sleep.

“I know but you two were being rude and I was hungry and I brought a potion just in case.” Fluttershy partially hid behind her mane. “Sorry but it's so frustrating being shy around other ponies, but when I’m being a pred pony I’m more confident.”

Fluttershy opened her mouth to answer only for Pinkie to interrupt with another. Finally Fluttershy growled and stomped a hoof next to the saucer of water. The water splashed as the saucer bounced and Pinkie bounced into the air landing a little too hard on her plot.

Pinkie Pie nodded slowly and tried to absorb all this.

“This is all a little much, but so long you two are happy that’s fine but you need to pinkie promise you won’t eat anymore of your friends without warning or asking them first!” Pinkie Pie demanded from her seat on the saucer.

“Pinkie, can you handle her please, I have to go install that chicken wire I bought, I'll be back in a few minutes.” Fluttershy turned and left, taking gentle steps and moving carefully to avoid any accidents.

“Okie dokie loki!” Pinkie gave her departing giant friend a mock salute before turning to Rarity. “So… now we know what it feels like to be cupcakes….” This merely caused Rarity to faint once more. “Oh… horse apples.”

“That’s not to say I’m not relieved you and Twilight are connecting as friends and….” Rarity stopped and closed her mouth searching for the right words. “That relationship, but I want no part of it in the future.”

“I got parties to throw and pinkie promises to keep silly, but….” Pinkie Pie paused and waited for Rarity to exit the door. “It was fun and like in a super duper water slide way, so maybe again if ya warn me first.”

ChronoTheChangeling
ChronoTheChangeling #42 · Feb 12th, 2022 · · 1 · Intermission 2: In which Fluttershy does a thing and schemes ·
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I love this story and its ideas. Though I have personal preference for how far into vore to go I love the sweetness of this. Honestly I'm most interested in the princesses right now and wonder what discord would think of this. I also know if I was my oc here I'd be a prey pony through and through. I hope this continues.

Dinokid11
Dinokid11 #45 · Jul 22nd, 2022 · · · Late Night Visitor ·
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Excellent work love you story can’t wait for your next chapter

JINXTHEINSANE
JINXTHEINSANE #46 · Jul 22nd, 2022 · · · Late Night Visitor ·
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Great work can't wait for more

Applefai
Applefai #47 · Sep 22nd, 2022 · · · Late Night Visitor ·
Reply

Can't wait to see more

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