• Member Since 28th Jul, 2020
  • offline last seen May 13th


Howdy, I’m Burt.


Discord has kicked the bucket.

Anon seems, outwardly, very optimistic over that fact.

Certain ponies find this very suspicious.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )
Burt #1 · 1 week ago · · ·

Burt will return…

But only after he’s eaten - mans is hungry


How long did you wait for your story to be approved?

“Confarnit Dash! What have we told you ‘bout crashin’ into headstones!?” Applejack, blissfully ignoring Discord’s presence, chided her very very close friend and not at all homosexual lover - Rainbow Dash.

Press X to Doubt.

Burt #5 · 1 week ago · · ·

50 Morbillion years

Damn you Burt, how dare you make me laugh at a Shitpost!?

This has the same energy as The Longest Joke in the World

I understood the meaning of life!

Now Bert has a series of corpses :derpytongue2:

Short and sweet.

“Music made him lose control.”

Had to check, but surprisingly there wasn't any music mentioned in the story aside from Anon doing some vocals and beatboxing while break dancing. And now I'm imagining this scene turning into a Music of Harmony bit where the funeral attendees are compelled to join in as backup hardstyle beatboxing.

Anon caught the dancing plague (yes a real thing) And has "sadly" passed on, may his green booty be shaking in disco town wherever he found himeself.


God I needed this.

It was a hot summer’s day. However, instead of the usually wholesome emotions brought on from the sun’s sunny rays, it would seem that the atmosphere of that morning was one of mourning.

That's a helluva way to start a story.

A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.


Enough other people died from it around 1600s? I think.

"Thank you that was truly enjoyable, it brings a smile to my face to read some Actual literature."

You've Outdone Yourself again Sir Burt So' Lot, but the question is can you do it again?

-Your Brother Lucifer

Several hours later, Discord finished with a sigh. “And that is why gun control simply never works.”


Sayonara chaos god. Til next we meet, you goofy son of a gun.


If you read into the subtext of this story, you will actually find it is analogous in many ways to the depiction of the nine circles of Hell in Dante's Inferno.

You see, right from the start, Celestia may be interpreted as a Christ-like figure. As such, her initial annoyance could be projected toward Anon, who as an outsider and nonbeliever would be relegated to Limbo upon death.

However, his immediate erotic energy, eg: 'busting it down sexual style' would befit one residing in the second circle of Hell, those overcome by their lust.

The third circle punishes the gluttonous. Gluttony is not only literal over-indulgence, but also akin to selfishness and heedlessness of your peers, another trait of Anon's behavior in this story. You can even see this comparison hinted at by Burt himself with the cryptic message:

But only after he’s eaten - mans is hungry

In fact an allusion to the deeper meaning of this tale.

The fourth circle, Greed, is of course self explanatory.

Wrath is where things truly get interesting, as Rainbow Dash sets the initial tone for the comparison with her assault on Discord (who as a spirit of chaos is already closely tied to sin and violence) and continued with Discord's mention of gun control, a commentary on the violent nature of homo sapiens, as well as our desire to impose order in a chaotic world.

Even the prose in this portion of the story hints at the symbolism:

the stars gleaming in the abyssal darkness like great balls of shining stars

This of course references the Stygian waters within the fifth circle of Hell, wherein the passively wrathful fight for eternity. The stars of course representing the souls of the damned with the night sky, representative of the river Styx.

Then, of course, the moment Celestia command Anon to cease his moves, he drops dead. An obvious act of heresy, the sixth circle.

The reference to the seventh circle, violence, comes from Anon's actions, which would condemn him to the third ring of the seventh circle.

Fraud, the eighth circle, can be seen when Discord refers to himself as 'Discord the Storyteller'. I'm uncertain which Bolgia Anon would be sentenced to in particular, but Bolgia 9 is where Sower's of Discord are punished, a fitting location for the spirit of chaos and another indication of this stories deeper meaning.

The ninth circle, treachery, is represented once more by Discord. Anon perished at Discord's funeral, which would place the spirit within Ptolomea, as a Traitor to his guests.

Given that Anonymous is often considered a sort of self-insert protagonist, I believe the deeper conclusion to be drawn from this story is that, we all as humans are sinful creatures, struggling to overcome our base instincts.

I may myself only guess as to what Anonymous is meant to represent in this tale, although given the complex nature and nesting layers of symbolism, there is no doubt greater hidden meaning that I myself am unable to discern.

Several hours later, Discord finished with a sigh. “And that is why gun control simply never works.”


Well we all know the meaning behind this. But I'll explain it anyway.

The meaning behind the story is THIS

Comment posted by Burt deleted May 13th
Burt #25 · 1 week ago · · ·


You get an A.

The Interpretation you gave was both detailed and full of nuance. However, you will be docked a point, leaving that A+ just out of grasp. The reason behind this is that, despite being such a rich and very thoughtful examination, your thesis is in fact incorrect.

Your belief that the subtext of this story connects to Dante’s Inferno - although incredibly well thought out - is simply wrong.

For you see, this story was inspired by the hit cult classic: Freddy Got Fingered

Aw fuck. That was my second guess.

I’m gonna finger you you son of a bitch

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