Fluttershy. Sweet innocent Fluttershy. She’s so pure and kind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her. Not a droplet of evil within her heart — to depict her otherwise would be character assassination.

And she’s dead.

Huzzah! It’s Anonymous’ day off! What glory it is to be free of any duties, and spending his free time goofing off with his buds!

What’s that? He’s bored? That simply will not do! Time to go visit Twilight, where nothing bad every happens and spells definitely absolutely never go wrong!

Swords, hammers, knives, pikes, spikes; even rolling pins. Princess Celestia collects them, and stashes them within her private collection for few to see.

Anon notices that a few of them have very… choice labels.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again.

At least that’s what Anon keeps telling Discord, as he continues to try and reduce his stoney complexion into dust.

What else is new?

Twilight hears a knock on her door. It appears Anon has decided he wants to enter the local talent show and he’s shown up asking for her help. Curious.

The days are short and the nights are long for one Anonymous. How will he overcome such grand adversity? Through sheer will power and the desire to chase a better tomorrow?

Nah. He’ll be forced out of his domicile by Twilight Sparkle, and into the unforgiving sun.

Not literally. That would hurt.

This story is a sequel to Anon is Incarcerated Due to His Involvement in the Transportation of Crack Cocaine

AIDHITCC (Anon is Incinerated Due to His Involvement in the Transportation of Crack Cocaine) is the direct sequel to the critically acclaimed AIDHITCC (Anon is Incarcerated Due to His Involvement in the Transportation of Crack Cocaine.)

The current story follows Anon, an immensely powerful creature who has recently been captured by Princess Celestia for his transgressions against pony kind. Usually he is not one to be caught with his pants down, however, his greatest weakness had been exploited at the most inopportune time and now he finds himself at the mercy of the pony leader.

‘What is his greatest weakness?’ You may ask?

Well, I’m glad you’re so curious!

It’s off screen plot convenience.

(Some readers may be disturbed. This is a very serious fanfiction for very serious fanfictioneers. Rated 7/10 by Steve Jobs, who is quoted as saying: “A piece of literature so good, It motivated me to come back to life and get cancer again before dying a second time.”)

Also plz be nic3 firs stry on this site thx ☺️

Shout out to God, my proof reader. And shout out to Lowe’s for sponsoring this story. Perform the Dougie at your local empty Lowe’s parking lot (only redeemable during midnight) to increase the price of your next transaction by 30%. Thank you once again to Lowe’s for sponsoring this story.

WARNING: BY READING THIS MESSAGE YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. Which means you need to PayPal me money. If you don’t have money, mail yourself to my multimillion shekel mansion and I guess I’ll make due.

Please send thoughts and prays as I’m kinda in a bad place right now. Not mentally, I just live in Canada.

Discord has kicked the bucket.

Anon seems, outwardly, very optimistic over that fact.

Certain ponies find this very suspicious.

Anon feels like bonding with the pony personification of the sun; Princess Celestia. More specifically, he feels like sexually bonding with her.

Princess Luna doesn’t know how to feel about that.

WARNING: Profanity, and I mean a ridiculous amount of profanity. Also sex jokes, because bottom of the barrel humour has been fermenting the longest.

The non-magical creature known as anonymous sits in his chair, waiting—watching the time go by.

His friends want none of that.