A Demon's Second Chance

by Perfectly Insane

Chapter 37: Cronos

Author's Note:

Yahallo! Sorry this took so long, I’ve been very busy adulting. Anyway, please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments, tell me if you spot any errors, and thanks for reading!

I fell asleep crying in Fluttershy’s arms.

This has happened twice now. The first time was cathartic, this time was something beyond that. The amulet left me numb, dead, like a walking cadaver.

Fluttershy’s kindness brought me back to life, to be just a little dramatic.

When I came to, Angel was trying to squeeze his way out of my grip, slowly replacing himself with Gossamer. I pretended to still be asleep, stifling a giggle as his fur tickled my skin, eventually being replaced with the, somewhat soft, but noticeably artificial, fur of a lamb.

I waited until he went outside one of the windows before I raised myself, placing Gossamer on a pillow beside me and twirling the blue ribbon on his ear in between my fingers.

The pie was still on the nightstand across from me, likely cold but still good to eat. My face felt sticky, like it always did after I cried. Beside the pie, Fluttershy left a box of tissues, and a small sticky note that said ‘left to feed the animals, enjoy your nap. :)” on it.

I picked it up, pursing my lips as I tried to decipher the symbol at the end. I eventually tilted my head, realizing it was meant to be a smiley face; kind of like wingdings. The tissues were easy enough to use, and I was clean in a minute, setting them back on the nightstand and digging into the pie.

There were so many things on my mind at the moment, but all of them were out of reach. They didn’t hover over my thoughts like they tended to, holding a dagger of uncertainty to stab me with at any given moment or word. My anxiety, and the rumination that also accompanied it, had taken a backseat for the time being.

Though, that didn’t entirely prevent me from making a mental checklist of things to do before I go back to Canterlot.

“Let’s see, do I still have that- oh my gosh that’s so good.” I paused as I chewed on a hefty chunk of pie, the swirled taste mixing together so succinctly that nothing else really compared. “The newspaper?”

I checked my inventory, not bothering to look for Angel or any other observer as I shifted through it. The newspaper was somewhere near the bottom, being selected and appearing in my backpack with a wrinkle. I scanned over it again, rereading the section about Dark’s dad and his sibling that he possibly doesn’t know about.

I could have done so many other things: make up with Pinkie Pie now that I know she’s already forgiven me, or to work on convincing Twilight and the others to at least give me a second chance.

I just have to figure out how to do that without apologizing. ‘Be better, not sorry’, as Luna told me.

“Whole lot easier to say than to do.” I muttered as I put the eraser end of the pencil in my mouth, moving it up and down rapidly as I read over the section again and again. Trying to formulate what to say to Dark and how to say it.

I jumped at the sound of the door opening, Fluttershy having returned from feeding the animals. She placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a small grin. I tensed up at the contact, but only due to the initial suddenness of it. There wasn’t that punch in the gut sensation, that riveting fear, that compelling terror.

I even closed my eyes, just to be met by darkness instead of him.

For a moment, my heart fluttered, and I believed myself to be cured.

“You’re smiling. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile like that before.”

I brought a finger to my lips, feeling the indent in my lips.

“I guess I am.” I traced the grin, engraving the bumps and grooves into my fingers. “How was feeding the animals?”

She sat on the couch, which summoned Angel from whatever room he was lurking in. He hopped up on the largest pillow, which happened to be the one I placed Gossamer on. Angel, in what I can only presume was an act of absolute spiteful resentment, kicked the lamb off the pillow and took its place.

“It went as well as usual. In fact, it's when I do most of my thinking, and I’ve been thinking lately about what you told me.”

With that, my smile was gone. Gradually, it fell from my face, and I placed the rest of the pie I hadn’t devoured back on the nightstand.

“yeah?”

“Yeah. I, I think,” Fluttershy interlaced her fingers, placing them on her legs as her wings flickered. She bit at her lips, unable to keep her hooves steady as they kept fidgeting. “I think you should tell the others what you told me. About resets, and that you die whe-”

“No.”

That was maybe the only time the word ‘no’ had slipped through my lips so quickly and with such certainty, It hurt to see that look of dejection on her face, that half-closing of her eyes as she flinched.

But there was no way I could even consider that. I’d been down that route in my own mind too many times.

“Why not?” her voice trembled, a quackiness to it that was grating on my ears. She lurched forward, holding her sides as her wings coiled. “If they knew that you did try to rely on them, then I’m sure they’d understand why you did what you did and forgive you.”

“Maybe they would, some of them. But,” I toyed with my pendant, trying not to picture Frisk’s piercing, blank face. “All it would take is just one of them not to trust me, to think that I would use it for whatever; like Frisk did.”

“You wouldn’t do that though!”

“No, I wouldn’t. But only one of them needs to distrust me to think I might. That’s why I told you.”

“You’re-“ I could tell that Fluttershy wanted to tell me I was wrong, and almost impulsively did so. Then, her nose wrinkled as she thought on it; eyes darting back and forth like she was reading names in her head. “I wish you were wrong.”

“Me too.” I hung my head, briefly capturing Angel’s eyes before I turned elsewhere. “Maybe Pinkie and Rarity, but Applejack and Twilight? They probably trust me the least right now. And Rainbow is hard to read.”

“She’s not…well, I’ve known her for years and even I know she can be difficult. ” Fluttershy hummed, eyebrows knitting together as her chin dropped to her chest. “Then, why did you tell Luna if you don’t want to risk it?”

“That was,” I couldn’t explain that; not without mentioning the stuff with the changelings. I didn’t promise Luna not to tell it to her per se, but if I did I can imagine the reaction wouldn’t be well.

That being said, I did promise Fluttershy I would be honest with her from now on. Telling her my past and then starting with a lie by omission would defeat the entire point of that.

Out of curiosity, I slipped my hand under the glove and lifted it to check the crest. It was no longer glowing, which meant the timer was up, but what Luna neglected to mention was that the symbol itself was still there.

I suppose that meant the glove was staying for the foreseeable future.

“You have to promise me you won’t talk to anyone about this, Fluttershy. Especially,” There was a throb of pain in my right foot, though I had a suspicion that, like the stickiness that flared up in between my fingers, it wasn’t really there. “Me. I don’t want to talk about it anymore than I want to think about it.”

“Of course.” she extended her wing, placing the tip of it against her chest. “I promise I won’t tell them anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

“I’m not, well,” I pressed my lips together, reaching around with my right hand and placing it on my left shoulder, flinching at the feeling of the glove. “There were changelings in Ponyville, and Luna offered to help me with them if I told her everything.”

“Changelings?!” Fluttershy’s entire body straightened, wings spreading out as she almost jumped out of the couch, glancing around the room before shifting in her couch once more. “There were changelings in Ponyville? That can’t be right, Twilight’s been casting a spell every night that should prevent changelings from coming into Ponyville.”

“A spell?”

“Yes, she’d been casting it since Canterlot. Well, not stop them per se, more like detect them as soon as they enter Ponyville before they take anyones place. So, there’s no way-“ Fluttershy trailed off, rapping her fingers against her thighs. “The diamond dogs. When we were away for the day and Twilight couldn’t cast the spell. Did Chrysalis know that, was it on purpose?”

“It was on purpose, yes.” There was a trickle of something warm on my neck, I scratched at it deeply until the pain overrode it. “She told me such in one of the resets.”

“One of? Chara,” She reached forward, first hesitating to touch me, then placing a hand on my leg. “How many times did you…” she bit her lip. “Reset to the changlings?”

I opened my mouth to say ‘three’, only to realize that wasn’t entirely right. The first time was to changelings, yes. The second wasn’t, and the third was to myself. I couldn’t tell her that; I know exactly how she’d react.

“Three.”

So I lied.

I couldn’t be honest about everything. It’d break her heart.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I reall-”

“Stop.” there was a stabbing sensation in my throat as my voice separated into shards, breaking as it left my mouth. “Stop apologizing. You couldn’t have done anything, not anything that you didn’t already try to do. Because I,” I touched her hand, a sense of warmth that tingled its way to my heart at the contact. “Didn’t tell you. I should have, but I didn’t. And that’s my fault. So, please, stop apologizing.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” Fluttershy smirked a bit, chuckling at her own joke.

She pulled her hand away, and I found myself missing it.

“So, Luna helped with the changelings? There aren’t any more of them in Ponyville?”

“No.” Mrs.Cake came to mind. I could only imagine what that was like; to find someone had taken your place, interacted with everyone you know, none the wiser that you were still around.

Maybe the idea wasn’t so foreign to me.

“I think.”

“Good, then I’m glad Luna helped you. Though, I can’t help but worry about you going back to Canterlot. You just got here. Angel missed you.”

Angel chittered angrily, jumping up and batting at one of her strands of hair. She muttered something under her breath at him, which he cut off with another bout of angry chirping.

“I missed you.” Fluttershy’s face blushed, her cheeks half as red as mine were normally.

There was a warmth in my face, but I didn’t feel nearly as flustered as I expected to.

“I missed you too, and I’d love to spend all day with you. But,” I picked up the newspaper, placing it back in my backpack. “I have some things to do today, starting with Dark.”

“Oh? I suppose it has been a while since you’ve seen each other. You must want to see him so bad its the first thing you’re doing; that’s very sweet of you.”

“T-that’s not it. Well, I do want to see him, but that’s not why I’m going to him first.” That time, I did get a bit flustered. I blinked rapidly, tapping my finger against my cheek over and over. “I told him I’d look into something for him while I was in Canterlot, and I want to tell him about it. It’s the easiest, and I prefer to build up to things.”

“I see.” She picked up Angel, idly petting him as she pressed her lips together. “Would you like me to go with you? I haven’t met Dark yet, I’d like to.”

I shook my head, standing up and slipping my backpack back on my shoulders.

“No thanks. I need to start doing things by myself, I need to be,” I closed my eyes, taking in the warm air around me. “better.”

Fluttershy raised her head, tilting it as her eyebrows drew together.

“Chara, I’m proud of you for wanting to improve yourself, but please don’t take that mindset to think that there’s something wrong with you now.”

“I won’t.” I paused, considering what she meant by that for a solid few seconds before deciding to dwell on it later. “Besides, you should go to Sugarcube Corner; Twilight and Pinkie should be there soon and they’d really appreciate talking to you.”

“How do you-” I saw the way her jaw slacked as she realized, standing up and holding Angel a bit tighter to her chest. “You reset there? What happened?”

My throat closed a bit, a foreign taste danced on my tongue with a malicious sweetness.

“I’d rather not talk about it, sorry. Just know it's safe now.”

“Well, alright.” The concern was still obvious on her face, but she seemed to leave it alone. “Do you not even want your guardian Angel?”

She held her arms out, showing off Angel like he was some prize trophy. He scowled, placing his paws on his hips and trying his best to not look as adorable as he always did. Unfortunately for Angel, adorable was his default state of existence.

“Hmmm.” I held a laugh in my mouth, my cheeks briefly puffing up before pushing them out in a gush of hot air. “As tempting as that is, I really shouldn’t. He’ll distract me with his cuteness too much.” I pet him, to which he rolled his eyes.

“That is a perk of his. Very well, then I guess I’m off. We can walk together until we have to separate, if you like?”

She extended her hand, an invitation to take it.

I stared at it for a moment, before smiling, interlacing my fingers in hers. There was no shaking, no sense of fear to her like before. Just a calm, strong certainty.

“I would very much.”

_____

As I stood outside the observatory, I couldn’t help but want to see my reflection. It was an odd desire, and not one I was really that familiar with; couldn’t even say why I wanted to.

While I brushed the urge down, swallowing it to the recesses of my mind, I opened the door.

“Dark?”

The observatory looked cleaner than before, barely a speck of dust or thing out of place. All the plaques were cleaned, all the furniture had been rearranged in such a way that left a lot more space than before.

It made it more obvious how empty the place was.

“Chara? You’re back already?” I heard his voice from the second floor, followed by his heavy hoofsteps. “I would have thought you’d be gone for weeks, not days. Did you check on my-woah.”

Once he got to the bottom of the stairs, he stopped, mouth ajar as he just stared at me. I quickly began to fidget under his gaze, holding onto my necklace for life itself as I waited for him to say whatever it was that had him stunned.

“Your hair’s longer now. It’s pretty.”

‘Pretty’.

I knew the word, I’d applied it to so many things. Monsters, ponies, the stars. I’d called them pretty many times.

Never had anyone called me pretty before.

It was euphorically overwhelming.

With it, came this bizarre, crippling sense of horror. I couldn’t be ‘pretty’, I wasn’t a star, I wasn’t a monster, I wasn’t

“I’m not pretty.”

I blurted it out, uttered with a sureness I’m not sure I’d ever managed before. A rigidness burrowed its way into my muscles, making it hard to move any part of me without feeling like I was trying to push through mud.

Dark flinched, his ears curling back as he tensed up.

“Oh, my bad. I thought,” he bit his lip, taking a step back as he desperately tried to look anywhere but at me. “Sorry, complimenting is what I do when I’m nervous, and you liked when I called you cute before so I figured you might have liked being called pretty; I thought girls like being called pretty.”

“I didn’t-” a warmth came rushing to my face. My hands felt cold in comparison as I rubbed my cheeks. “I didn’t say I don’t like it, just that I don’t think I am pretty. Especially not because of my annoying hair.”

“Your hair’s not annoying, its pretty.”

“It’s not.” I batted away a strand, holding it up with my hand. “It’s not pretty; I’m not pretty.”

“You are, and I’m going to keep telling you that until you realize it.” He gestured to the stairs behind him, bowing while dipping his head. “Wanna talk upstairs? My bed’s much more comfortable than standing around; pretty girls first.”

I sucked in cold air, puffing up my cheeks as I crossed my arms. There was this tinge of discomfort in my chest when he called me ‘pretty’, at the same time, a tingle came with it that left me ambivalent about telling him to stop.

All that went away once I sat down on the echo stratus bed, sinking into it with my body inch by inch. I was originally just going to sit on the side and dangle my lower legs over the edge, but I eventually gave in and let my upper body fall into the bed. A louder sigh than I intended slipped out.

A couple of seconds later, Dark joined me as I felt his weight on the opposite side of the bed. Not close enough to touch, but the tips of his spiky mane very nearly grazed the top of my head. Inches away from touching each other, but just far enough to not make me uncomfortable.

My heart throbbed for just a second.

“So, how was Canterlot? Was it as fantastic and gorgeous as I told you it was?”

I thought back to the various times I gazed upon the city, most of the times being at night. In spite of the multiple resets, how pretty it was never got lost on me. The lights, the buildings, the shadows, the ponies who each had their own stories and adventures.

“It really was.” I stared up at the sky, focusing where the looking glass was poking out from the top. Most of the light in the room was coming from that gap, a window to the outside that showed an occasional flock of birds or a passing cloud.

“Walking around the streets is the best part of Canterlot.” Dark began, rubbing his chest. “Seeing all the snobs walking around with their chins raised high rubbed me the wrong way, but hearing what they talked about out of context as we passed by each other always left me feeling like we lived in a different world. It left me trying to come up with scenarios where it made sense. I’d end up creating entire stories around single sentences that probably weren’t anywhere near the case.”

“Actually, I didn’t get to explore the city.” I could feel the disappointment as his body shifted, slightly weaving as he raised his head. “I was stuck in the castle most of the time.”

“Oh, that sucks.” he tried to hide it, but without any other noise in the place he really shouldn’t have bothered. “You missed out on the best part of Canterlot. Well, that and the view at night. You got to see that, right?”

“Yeah, a few times.” I found my hand traveling to my chest, once more toying with my pendant. I sucked in cold air, letting go of it and tracing my finger up to my hair, twirling a strain of it until it curled. “It was beautiful.”

“Your-“ he cut himself off, muttering something under his breath. “Nevermind. How was seeing Princess Celestia? I’d imagine overwhelming.”

“Yeah, a little.” It couldn’t have been just a few days when that happened, right? Three breakfasts, one that I repeated a few times, and a meeting in a cellar for a drink I didn’t participate in. “She’s a lot more of a pony than a princess after a while. She offered to drink with me before I left, though I don’t drink so-”

“Woah, woah, woah. Celestia offered you a drink and you said no?” Dark lifted himself off the bed, turning around and sitting on it while crossing his legs. He leaned his head over mine, blocking most of my vision with his concerned expression. “Did anyone see? Did a noble see?”

I tried to press my head as deeply into the mattress as I could, desperate in my attempt to create more space between us as I had to catch my breath.

“No, it was just us alone in a wine cellar.”

“Oh, good.” I could feel the hot air leave his mouth as he relaxed, bringing a hand to his forehead and wiping it as he creased his brows. “Yeah, when it comes to royalty stuff like that everything is a gesture. I doubt Princess Celestia herself would care that much, but any nobles would have seen it as extremely disrespectful.”

“Really?” I thought back to the wine cellar. I could still remember the exact path we took to get to the backroom, and all the words written under the bottles Celestia took me too. “Why’s that?”

“Because drinking is like…how do I put this?” he rubbed the bottom of his chin, stroking the stubble of a beard that hadn’t quite grown in yet. “When ponies drink, they’re usually at their most vulnerable because drinking kinda stifles your reasonable thinking. So, when someone as important as Princess Celestia asks you to drink with them, it’s an invitation of vulnerability; she must have really trusted you to do that.”

“Oh.” there was a stab of guilt in my chest as I placed my hand there, picturing Celestia extending the drink to me. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Why did you say no anyway? Do you not drink?”

“No, I-”

Again and again, I made the mistake of closing my eyes at the worst moments. This time, some specks of sunlight stayed through, meaning I wasn’t drenched in total darkness when I mentally vanished.

What did come through was the stench. That putrid odor of alcohol on his breath.

I shuddered, swallowing the sourness in my mouth as I tried desperately not to vomit.

“Don’t.”

“Hmm.” he stared at me, jutting his chin as he chewed on his tongue. “Alright, that’s fair. I think I’ve put off the elephant in the room long enough. What uh,” he ran a hand through his hair, poking the very tips with his fingers. “What’d you find out about my family? Are they doing ok?”

“They’re, um,” I opened my eyes, tearing myself away from the divine comfort of Dark’s bed. I pulled my backpack off from the floor, reaching in with a quivering hand. The newspaper crinkled in my grip as I clutched it. “Fine, I think. They seem happy, at least.”

He raised an eyebrow at how tightly I was holding onto it before taking the newspaper out of my grip and reading through it. I watched with growing apprehension as he flipped through the pages, eyes darting back and forth as he searched for its prize, before finally settling on the picture.

“Nebulous?” Dark uttered to himself, bringing the newspaper closer to his face. “I have a sister? They must have had her after I left, but I don’t remember mom being pregnant. Hmmm,” he read through the rest of the article silently as I watched, begging wordlessly that he wouldn’t come to the same biased conclusion I did.

That, despite our differences, we wouldn’t have this in common.

“She must be four years old, which would be right around…”

The magic holding the newspaper in place tightened around the edges, threatening to tear the very material that it was made from. Just as abruptly, the magic vanished, leaving the newspaper to fall to the bed.

“They had her after I left. They,” his voice cracked, he began to shake. “Replaced me.”

His entire body slumped as he craned over, bringing his hands up to the sides as he let out a shaky breath. Dark’s arms dropped to the bed, then hovered in front of him for a few moments before wrapping around his shoulders.

He was trying to hug himself.

I wanted to raise my hand and place it on his shoulder, but a shard of uncertainty and doubt stayed me. Would touching him make it worse? To some extent, I understood what he was going through. I’d been replaced several times by my foster parents, not to mention my best friend had told me how much he wished I’d been replaced with someone else.

Even if I could have been touched at the time, it would have only made me feel worse. Maybe that was because of me and my aversion to touch, or maybe it just wasn’t something I could help. The fear that you’ll be replaced is one thing, but facing the reality that you already have?

What could I possibly say to that that wouldn’t be a lie?

“Chara,”

His voice cracked, like ice put under sudden pressure. It was so new, yet it sounded so familiar to my own voice on numerous occasions. I hated hearing it come from someone else’s mouth.

I raised my head, pursing my lips as I tried to figure out if I should say something or just nod my head. I ended up just staying silent as I waited for him to continue.

“I know you have a,” he sharply inhaled, puffing his cheeks before letting it all out of in a loud heave. “thing with touch, and I completely respect that. But,” he glanced up at me with watery eyes, pleading in a way I’m not sure anyone ever has to me before. “I could really use a hug right now.”

He begged. He was begging; I could hear it in each word.

His arms unclenched for just a moment, before going rigid and tightening once again.

I gulped.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was finally able to enjoy one, to completely give in to someone else's warmth. To trust somebody.

I needed it far more than I realized, especially then. Even now, there was this coldness in my skin where her touch had been.

I missed it.

“Ok.”

I scooted a few inches closer. Not enough to touch quite yet, but within arms length. I tried to remember the last time I physically comforted someone, and not just an animal. Asreil cried a lot over the smallest things; when we played too rough, when there was a sound in the dark, or not for any real good reason. In fact, I might have spent more time in his bed than my own.

I closed my eyes as I leaned forward, feeling the softness of his fur before the warmth of his skin. I had hoped with bated breath that physical contact wouldn’t bring on that wave of fear, at first it didn’t. It was like touching a pillow, a pillow that breathed, that had a heartbeat, that relaxed under my touch.

Then the pillow sobbed.

I tensed up, trying not to say anything, to not make a sound, to not hear him trying so desperately not to cry. I couldn’t picture him as Dark, not in that moment. Instead, I imagined that his black fur was white, and that he was much smaller. I wrapped my arms as much around him as I could, which was hard with how much bigger than me he was; I never really noticed that until now.

Without a word, he brought his head down to my chest, and he started crying. I awkwardly place my hand on the top of his hair, just playing with it the same way Fluttershy toyed with mine at the rock farm. I had to swallow the urge to trace my fingers along his ears like I did with Angel.

Like I always did to calm Asriel down.

Dark needed me.

I was needed.

And that was enough.

Comments

[MagicalPony2099]

Hey I got a question, was this story rated M at some point or was I misremembering something?

[Diamondized]

I picked it up, pursing my lips as I tried to decipher the symbol at the end. I eventually tilted my head, realizing it was meant to be a smiley face; kind of like wingdings.The tissues were easy enough to use, and I was clean in a minute, setting them back on the nightstand and digging into the pie.

You know... Chara knowing wingdings does make sense thanks to Gaster, even if the smiley is reaching a bit.

[Desti]

“Oh, I’m sorry. I reall—”

Wtf is this symbol and why is it all over the chapter D:

[Diamondized]

“Y—yeah?”

There's a couple of scratch that, many instances of weird symbols showing up this chapter. No idea what could have caused it.

[Perfectly Insane]

11879132
I’m not sure that’s strange, I will fix it in a bit.

[Perfectly Insane]

11879124
It was once upon a time yes

[TheCommunistDog]

hmmm i too like Euro

[MagicalPony2099]

11879152
Gotcha.

[Kichi]

Another typo

“Because drinking is like…how do I put this?”

Also, good work

[Alrazvick]

Well worth the wait.

[Perfectly Insane]

11888158
Prey and a Lamb my beloved.