• Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Jade Ring

The purpose of a story is that it's a story. It can be more, but it can never be less.


This story is a sequel to Grogar: A Hearth's Warming Horror Story

Five years ago, the land now known as Apple Valley had another name. Five years ago, something ancient and monstrous set hoof there. Five years ago, something terrible happened. Five years ago, the story ended.

But, as three unsuspecting back-packing friends are about to find out, some stories never really end...

The winter's wind is blowing hard.
The air is thick and white...


A shivery little Christmas gift to celebrate the five year anniversary of the first Hearth's Warming horror story.

Dedicated to ObabScribbler and Sparrow9642, whose readings made the original that much more wonderful.

Scary Christmas, everyone.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

Bon Bon pulled her coat on tighter against the cold as she examined the clearing. There was no question. He had returned. The bell was a dead giveaway. Her mind drifted back to that horrible night when she got the news. Her hometown buried over night. The entire populace, including her wife, gone without a trace. She still remembered their last conversation. "Why didn't I make her come with me?

"Do you really have to go?" Bonbon turned to Lyra with a sad smile. "Sorry, sweetie. I promised my folks I'd spend Hearth's Warming with them. You're still welcome to come along. My parents love you." Lyra gave a sad smile of her own. "Can't. I promised Mayor Mare that I would help provide the music for the party." Bonbon let out a sigh. "Okay. I'll see you when I get back. Love you."

Icy tears ran down her face as the memories flooded back. The reactivated S.M.I.L.E. agent wiped them away as she resumed her investigation. "I know you're out there. If it takes me to my last breath, I will find you and drag you kicking and screaming all the way to Tartarus." On the wind, for a split second, Bonbon thought she could hear a voice laughing mockingly.

Revisiting the site of almost-forgotten- yet still very present- horror has a special dark allure of its own. It gives me the same sort of feeling as the short story Stephen King wrote as a follow-up to Salem's Lot- certainly very different stories, but a common sense that while the world at large moves on, some darkness persists that is best given a wide berth.

What a wonderful Christmas surprise!

this headcannon is awesome

Since I said I would (I'm not sure if you will remember me). I have been reading this story off and on again.

Well, since Ms Scribbler made an audiobook, I can finally finish it and try to give it a review, though I don't think it will be as good as my original reviews all those months ago.

I listened to the story and well...

I liked it just as much as the first.

First, I cannot criticize it too much, as the show itself is guilty of it (among many others), but I REALLY hate when characters arbatrilly and unnaturally introduce each other’s names even among those who know each other. I just wish other writers would find a way to do so more naturally. 

I like the story extended on the state of those taken by Grogar. Of course, one could easily guess that the skinny mare was Rarity, but that did not take away from the impact and expansion of her's and the rest of Ponyvillie's situation. The fact that Grogar just left the townsfolk there, just makes him not only further cruel, but cruel in a clever way too. They can do nothing but traumatize and bring Grogar to new victims, as is fitting of spirits.
I had forgotten about the eyeless faces, so Rarity rising her head to show them did get me a little.

Being so utterly cold and starving all of the time…it's not a painful fate (those I fear the most) but horrible nonetheless. 

I will say that it seems rather out of character and rather callous, having Celestia just want to cover up the incident and be done with it. I would have expected tales of her holding funerals for the taken ponies, especially the element beaters, perhaps turning the place into a memorial. I would have expected her to break the news to the citizens of Equestria in a solemn, concerned manner. 

Certainly, we have Celestia hiding bad events with things such as Bon Bon’s S.M.I.LE situation, but that did not seem callous or cruel. 

I am also surprized that the story jumped forward a full five years, and now I am quite curious as to how the family members and friends of the taken react (especially that of the mane six, as well, they are the main characters). 
Not to mention how the world is fairing without the Elements of Harmony.
I am quite surprised that Discord and Celestia have not gone on a massive, rage-filled quest to utterly, completely obliterate Grogar. 

Perhaps, a story like that could be next in line? Honestly, I am quite tempted to write a tale of an encounter starring my own OCs…(sorry if that sounds egotistical).

As for the main characters of the story itself…I must say I liked them. Even with the little development they received, you did a great job establishing their personalities and quirks. I’ve never been a fan of the existence of ponyfied, pony-filled countries outside of Equestria (they can exist as a city instead far better, in my eyes, or being the residence of another species), but one of the stallions being an outsider was a good excuse for the exposition. 

I am quite surprized at their reality happy ending as well. I liked the solution to their situation too, even if the evolution of it was rather rapid. I wish it had a bit more build up and tension. 

I know it was only a few snippets, but I liked the beginning verses of that song (and as I saw, you also enjoyed the full version - I did too). I can barely rhyme (alas, this means I could never have Zecora in my potential tales). I am quite curious, though, about the subject. Was Platinum's act being her last kind one born of her nearing death, or her returning to being wicked?

Finally, I think the only other thing I can say is that, while incredibly cliche as it is, the tear from Rarity still had the intended impact. 

As I said before, sorry this review is not as good as that my original almost a year ago. I hope it is still good.

Can he be killed? Grogar I mean.

Author Interviewer

holy crap, am I glad I listen to these in the daytime c.c;;

Killed? Unlikely.

Defeated? Perhaps...

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