• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

dirty little secret

I tried so far... and got so hard... but in the end, it didn't even matter at all. (SubscribeStar)

Comments ( 50 )

Damn you got good ideas. I can't get over thinking about how Starlight's setup would be way different and better than everyone else's. Does reeducation include sexytimes for special students? Just how does she choose the pairings? If she assigns jobs, would she run a prostitution ring for visitors or overly curious Equestrian detectives?

Haha, man you publish these stories like it’s wildfire, how the heck do you do that? And Double Diamond seems like the perfect character for an incest fic. :ajsmug:


Really is an under-utilized setting for clopfics!

I do that because writing is my job. ^.^ I write at least 32 hours a week, and much of that is MLP fanfic.

Luckily, the real Starlight Glimmer was never so stupid to do this in proper Friendship is Magic canon. And yes I read the story too.

Also, lol, that was the fastest in and out of the feature box I've ever seen!

Featured and then un-featured in under an hour!

Edit: lol, and then it's featured again. The feature box is a capricious mistress.

I'm... Honestly a little surprised Starlight would allow this to happen in her village. Please respond to this comment.

Well, I respond to everybody at least once, so ... okay.

And there's two ways you can interpret it:
1: Starlight knows that Double Diamond and Bunny Hill are perfect for each other and that they just need to get over the incest thing.
2: Starlight does not care at all and just does these assignments randomly. Just dumb luck that Double Diamond got assigned to his sister.

Sweet home alabama indeed~

I thought Alabama was more into cousins than siblings, but okay.

In alabama, incest is everything, you can fuck anyone in your family, even your mom!

Or 3: She's totally into that, what with her wonky, screwed up headspace about her foalhood best friend and sorta-brother!

So I'm getting Steven Universe vibes. Specifically, the human zoo episode. This was an interesting read! Makes me wonder if Starlight's own choice is entirely random... hm. (Also, what if someone's gay? Do same-sex match ups happen and you just learn to roll with what you aren't into, or...?)

That is an interesting question, though since the whole Choosing Ceremony is related to bringing in a new generation (and estrus season), I think it's specifically always straight pairings. At least for this ceremony in particular or whatever Dirty Little Secret's canon for this is, heh.

(( Plus, with the whole equality schtick, I wouldn't be surprised that it's a 'deal with it' situation anyway. XD ))

6.9k words

I come away from this fic feeling like the ending needs some sort of plot twist. A quick scene change over to Starlight revealing some crucially missed detail. A joke, a pun...something.

Playing this setup as straight clop seems anticlimatic.

Starlight probably picks at least one pair every year just to fuck with. Pair a brother and sister up this year, a father and daughter last year, two ponies who hate each other next year. Whatever, it's her town and she'll find her entertainment where she desires to. They all owe her for bringing them such harmony.

Plus she's definitely using magic to prevent getting pregnant herself. Infertile my ass, Star

I think for the time being, we're just going to assume Starlight's village is quite small and doesn't happen to have any gay ponies in it.

I should write a fic with 69,420 words sometime...

Now that is the kind of constructive criticism I can really use! ^.^


Starlight probably picks at least one pair every year just to fuck with.

No no no. She only picks one stallion to fuck with every year, same as every other mare gets.

Plus she's definitely using magic to prevent getting pregnant herself. Infertile my ass, Star

Heh. Glad people are picking up on that one! ^.^

Seconding LordBucket's input: I was really expecting something where Starlight realizes they're siblings after the fact and chides them for not saying something earlier. All the detail put into the setup makes it feel like its going to come back into play later.

I'll remember this stuff for the next fic! ^.^


I'm... Honestly a little surprised Starlight would allow this to happen in her village. Please respond to this comment.

I do think this is relevant. If Starlight's purpose is for procreation of next generation, pairing blood related ponies doesn't really make sense as it doesn't produce very good offspring, regardless whether or not you support incest. If it's just for blowing off the heat however, then that's fine.


it doesn't produce very good offspring

- I'm certainly not advocating that anyone go out and do this in real life.
- The sample size of the study I'm referencing is small. For obvious reasons, it's difficult to study large samples of humans with very close inbreeding.

Anyway, the bottom line is that 43% of studied incest babies had 'severe abnormalities'. But hey -- that's a 57% chance of an okay(ish) baby!

And that's in humans. Maybe ponies have more genetic diversity and fewer detrimental recessive genes floating around the gene pool, which would make incest less problematic. Or maybe overcoming genetic abnormalities is just part of that elusive earth pony magic. (Gotta go ask AJ and Big Mac about that one.)

Depends on how often it happens. A single generation, barring some serious recessive issue, isn't likely to be a huge issue.

Of course, considering her philosophy, there's also the darker interpretation - she might be counting on it, as an object test of her followers.

How is this genius in any way? For all her problems, this was never one of Starlight's. Your just trying to make Porn sound like any real thought is actually put into it. Either by the author or the characters.

When we all know that's all a load of horseapples.

the stories concept is fine except for one major flaw...... mares are preggers for 11 months so in otherwords they would have just had a foal just one month ago if they were all knocked up last year........ i doubt any mare would want to be knocked up again so quickly all while trying to care for a newborn.....and a 1 year old....and a two year old.....and a three year old.....and a 4 year old.................furthemore who has custody of all the foals??? sounds like a huge clusterf@(k too me.....
also that would mean the towns population would be going up over 50% every year! (some would have twins) which means that in 10 years over 90% of the population would be foals! very much a clusterF@(k!
if ya made it so that getting preggers was only optional and that most mares on a given year choose not too.......for obvious reasons. that would not only make much more sense, but also make it even hotter to read that Diamonds sis decided to go down on having a foal with him!


Your just trying to make Porn sound like any real thought is actually put into it.

Just doing my job. :twilightsmile: It ain't much, but it's honest work.

Maybe the fertility rate is really low?

IIRC, as long as there isn't anything too bad in your immediate family history, children from a relationship of the second or even first degree of consanguinity will usually be fine. And that is, as you said, in humans: given they are a polyphenic species with three major phenotypes, they have such huge variety in color, and they most likely don't have multiple near-misses with extinction in recent evolutionary history, ponies likely have MUCH greater genetic diversity than humans, decreasing the risks further. One or even two generations of incestuous relationships of this degree of closeness would probably be okay.

See, incest is perfectly fine in Equestria. That's just science.

The foals are raised communally. They likely will grow up not knowing who their parents are. It's for the best really. Your parents and siblings aren't just another pony, and not knowing who they are will make things easier during the Choosing Ceremony when they come of age.

On the note of incest, it's unlikely for there to be any full siblings since two ponies are unlikely to be chosen twice to mate. The closest relationship ponies would have is half siblings, which is closer to cousins when it comes to incest.

Aha! There you go. That's more equal anyway. You wouldn't want parents giving their own foals special treatment or foals giving their parents special treatment, now would you? Everypony gets treated equally.


Hmmmm... You need to write more multi-chapter stuff, and then time for someone else's big update. :rainbowlaugh: I think my best time was 15 minutes - the time it took to write an associated blog - because a big story dropped an update right after I did.

EDIT: It's weird how prevalent the description "bobbing up and down" is across the clop genre, in direct spite of the actual positions the characters are written to be in. She was on her back, right?

The update feature box is always like that. Pretty much worthless because it's so short-lived.

Dang, I was hoping for a reveal of the 'choosing ceremony' to be Starlight just shuffling the cards... Or alternatively an actual spell but she makes one change to get the partner she wants, causing the incest.

Ah well, great fic regardless.

Yeah, this story really does need that extra little twist at the end, doesn't it?

Lol, we think alike with the shit posting nature

Does Starlight even realize that those two are related?

More pertinently: does she care?

Who knows? We don’t even know if she’s aware. Maybe it just never came up

In humans, incest doesn't even produce greater numbers of unwanted genetic mutations than non-incestuous pairings, unless the two are specifically cross cousins. It's only viewed as 'wrong' because of misinformation and what amounts to herd morality. And even then it's mostly a 'western' thing. Genetically there's rarely a REAL reason to disallow incest. And, as mentioned, ponies and equines in general have other genetic factors that make it EVEN MORE ok.
Also, like many others here, it did feel to me like there ought to have been a reveal at the end where we see how SG pairs people up, or if she knew, or if she finds out, etc. Still very good though.

Well of course it doesn't produce a greater rate of mutations, that's not how problems arise from incest. What happens is that since very similar genomes are being combined, any recessive genetic illnesses the parents are heterozygous for are able to pop up in the kids, and since this is happening with many different things at once instead of only a few problems like you might find in an (effectively) unrelated pairing, many problems can arise in a small number of generations, even a single generation if you're unlucky or have bad enough genes.

It's not "mostly a Western thing", though; relationships of the first, second, and even third degree of consanguinity are not socially accepted essentially anywhere on Earth, and haven't been in most places at most points in history. The fourth and up, however, historically have been accepted in many cultures. Legally, probably about a third of everyone on Earth lives in a place where incest is at least technically legal between consenting adults. However, in practice, due to the social aspect, it is a much smaller number; in India, for example, while there are no laws against incest, incestuous relationships are usually legally treated as rape or sexual abuse, even when they are not. Given that both India and China effectively and legally ban incest (respectively), I think it's safe to say that it's not a Western thing.

The reason incest is forbidden in most cultures and under most legal systems isn't because of misinformation, it's because of three main things: one, it is forbidden by all of the ten largest religions on earth; two, repeated incest or incest along those who already have poor genes will result in genetic defects in children; three, incestuous relationships often have power imbalances that make the consent in the relationship questionable. Of course, since religion shouldn't control people, incestuous couple can simply not have children or in the future may be able to use genetic engineering to prevent problems, and not all relationships have such power imbalances, it is still not something that should be universally illegal and hated.

Heh. I love how my story has resulted in people writing essays about incest in the comments.

Swoon Song

Do I smell a "Keeper of the Lost Cities" reference???

Uh, if you do, it's not a reference I made.
That's her name from the MLP Wiki.

This was fucking amazing dude, and I'm so happy the happy parents get a baby for all their hard work and incesting. Oh I hope there's a quasi-sequel that explores a different genre of incest pairing that leads to incest babies! :rainbowkiss:

Well, I don't have any plans for that at the moment, but if my Patreon supporters ask for it...

Re-education required! The experience should have been average, same as everyone.

Login or register to comment