- Member Since 28th Sep, 2019
- offline last seen Wednesday
PleaseDoNotDeleteMe
I do this for fun when I have time. All I ask is that I do not get my stories deleted.
PleaseDoNotDeleteMe
Joined 28th Sep, 2019 ·
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Wow, I clicked this because it reminded me of my own...unusual Chrysalis x Cadence clopfic idea, but it looks like it added a few more touches of closeness to it then I expected...still very different, but an interesting surprise. I'll give details if anyone's curious...but either way, this is very interesting itself...if a bit off on the grammar at times.
it triggers me that you have misspelled Chrysalis's name in the short description.
Very surprising a tale, here. Usually, stories see the before or after of a Chrysalis infiltration, the during of one, by the original victim of Our Aria's crooner, is certainly a twist.
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Didn’t notice that, thank you. Fixed it!
Fantastic
It'd be interesting to see how powerful (e,g, big her body gets after each encounter) Queen Chrysalis gets before her fall.
Just to point out. The [nick]name is CadAnce, not Cadence. [The full name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.]
^^^^^ Heresy.
It's Cadence. And that's final. Don't listen to that misguided person. :P
----
Some small typos, get a beta if you can.
Ex.
She's a master at baiting someone?
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10370963
Ok thanks I fixed those typos. Let me know if I missed anything else.
*You're
10371651
Fixed.
the title made me think of this song
10371085
It’s simple... Mi Amore Cadenza can be trademarked, Cadance also can be, Cadence cannot.
Is English your first language?
Lesson Three: Never make love to a chainsaw. Ever. You WILL regret it.
10373604
Slaanesh wouldn’t.
10373618
*readies Delete button*
I made it two sentences in before closing this.
Technically, it should have been four sentences, but you made them into two.
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10374083
I have spotted a few grammatical and spelling errors, as well as having a few suggestions to just spice up the story a bit. If you don't mind, may I share them?
Be careful Cadance. You are talking to the Changeling Queen.
Once Cadance finishes teaching Crysalis the latter one will never run out of love/lust again...
I believe you meant tongue instead of tong, right? (Happens at other places in the text, too.)
Cadance: "I can arrange that..."
Nice
10371085
She's a highly successful fisherpony who eschews the use of artificial lures.
Good concept, but it definitely needs a keen-eyed editing pass.