• Member Since 13th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen October 28th

tulpaman


"You mean you're not all little girls??"

Comments ( 39 )

Good to see you back! It looks great so far, I'm looking forward to seeing how Lemony Cream reacts to the outside world ^^

Looking good! All the style of the older fic but quite a bit less obscure. You're a poet you are!

Y1

I’m surprised at how nostalgic I got reading this. It’s different from the original I remember. Our protagonist was made to face trial, and it was a lot crueler. There was an implication that other secret martyrs like her had been arranged previously.

Your writing style is less purple, but a lot clearer. I’m still not sure which I like better, yet.

I'll take a look, thanks for this blast from the past.

10289659
I am very glad you're here, drunk or sober, clop or no clop! I would have missed you if you had signed off permanently :fluttershysad: But you're still here :yay:
I hope you'll like the next chapter. I'll be able to post it tomorrow.

Quite a contrast from the original! I'm really digging it. Keep up the good work.

Keep up the good work! Would you mind if I advertise this story amongst my friends? It definitely deserves some love.

10323092
Sure! The more the merrier :pinkiesmile:

This is a good set up. Quick, snappy, but it really establishes Lemony’s personality and personal stake in things. Oddly enough I find myself appreciating her religious view of things. It’s fascinating to see how the Element Bearers and the Princess’ are viewed as mythos.

Oh hell yeah I really liked the original even if it was a bit uh 'verbose' sometimes. Definitely gonna give this a whirl

There's a reason I'm not fond of sidefics having a protag who comes from a Stable. Not really because of the protag themselves, but often what happens in the very first chapter: a long, 10k or so word info dump about what the Stable they live in is like, an extensive history of the protag and their friends or family. And worse, often most of what is exposited in such chapters wind up not being relevant for the vast majority of the story. It's like spending hours making a finely detailed sand canvass, only to stomp on it once you're finished.

It's for that reason why I love this introduction.

We don't get a long series of bricks barfing out exposition and such, instead the chapter starts by immediately starting the catalyst to the plot: the death of overmare Shady Sands.

There is some exposition, mostly stemming from character dialogue and brief descriptions. (with admittedly feels wonky, but does feel like a result of the environment they grew up in; a good case of show don't tell.)

I like how the first chapter gives a good impression of who Lemony Cream is: a religious lesbian who is in utter grief at the lost of her lover but wants to go out into the Wasteland for her sake, a mare with strong moral beliefs that she isn't shy of admitting are biased (because really, all beliefs are biased, that is normal), and a mare who is very good with words, able to convince the solicitor to follow his con(even if she'll forever hate him for being responsible for Shady Sands death).

It's a brief chapter that nonetheless has a lot of weight in it's words, which is something I really like (mostly because my ADD makes it hard to read for long periods of time).

I'm honestly interested in reading more of this!

I really like the way Lemony is introduced to the Wasteland. Not with shocking imagery of equine cruelty, but of a quiet, almost serene mountain area that was described as if it were the afterlife itself. It really helps to set Lemony apart from other Stable Dweller characters.

Nimble's introduction was well executed, we learn everything about her through her clumsiness and the way she immediately chats with Lemony as if they were already friends. It amused me that Lemony lies to Nimble simply out of fear of offending her.

The description of her father holding the world record of being the grumpiest pegasus was a delight to read. Really dig that he pretty much realizes that Lemony is just like him and his daughter, not from the Wasteland.

I do like how this chapter paints a negative picture of the Enclave; that sounds odd for someone like me to say, but I've seen some sidefics be... more forgiving to the terrible jingoistic ethnostate than they honestly should, to put it politely as possible.

Looking forward to reading more!

"It doesn’t matter to me where you’re from, Lemony Cream: I think you’re a good cabbage!” Just thinking of this single sentence being taken out of context from the rest of the paragraph it's from just amused me.

Not too much else to really add about this chapter other than being amused that most of the Enclave are really in the Shy because one pegasus is still butt hurt about losing against the secession, and that there's a pegasus whom everyone calls Nature's Call (nice name) who is introduced carrying the decapitated head of a pony who had been referenced in the previous chapter (Which implies to me that Nimble had encounters with Firing Line before).

I've only known Nature's Call for a single scene, and I think she's my favorite character thus far.

I don't know why, but the few paragraphs where Lemony explains her admiration for Nature's Call 'lack of hesitation' reminded me a whole lot of something from Yakuza 0. To make a TL;DP, one of the playable characters, Goro Majima, has a whole character arc where they're essentially a 'chained dog' who operates a cabaret who has to keep his more violent instincts restrained due to some dire circumstances he's in. Throughout the game's story he meets three people who ultimately convince him to become the 'mad dog' that he's famous for the rest of the series.

One of these characters is a man by the name of Homare Nishitani, a psychotic beast of a man who is driven by his desires, a man who isn't a afraid of consequences, a man who does not hold back. Majima expresses disgust in his initial introduction with this character... but also cannot help but feel envious of Nishitani's Looney Tunes'-esque personality (also, Majima's 'secret fighting style' that can be unlocked greatly mimics Nishitani's fighting style).

To get back into post-apoc horses, the rest of the chapter has a neat few scenes with Wile, a character that I now deem to be my new favorite (sorry Nature). Wile somewhat reminds me of what I've seen of the character Snufkin, a laid back mare who can get philosophical at times but be charmingly 'simple' about it, if that makes sense.

Also I really couldn't help but laugh at how Wile casually asks a mare she just met if she was ever caught masturbating.

I just really enjoyed the fact that Wile basically gets the Enclave soldier off their trail by basically going "Excuse me sir, but we're busy being gay!"

Really dig how the confrontation with Peanut went. I was expecting the scene to basically be Peanut Gallery making weak excuses before finally admitting what he was up to... but no, instead, we get a very calm yet tense scene where, with no signs of faltering, confesses that he's a spy for the Enclave... in order to spy on the Enclave.

What I like about this scene is that, as of right now, there's no grantee that Peanut Gallery (who's name just makes me not trust him for some reason) is really being honest or not. But one thing is certain: He is a very confident and composed character.

Now, Wile seemed to confirm this for me, as she performed a lower, less admirable act – threatening violence – out of higher, more admirable love.

I don't recall Wile actually threa-

“Of course, however much you say you need the extra space, and however convenient it’s been for you, exploiting her good nature, I am going to have to ask you to move out of Bottles’ apartment...”

“Oh?” the stallion asked, amused.

“I mean, if you like your pelvis in one piece.”

“Oh.”

Won't lie, but I really liked that trick.

It was time, Wile told me, to meet Keats. And because he, as leader of the free pegasi, had to keep himself obscure, the path his way was wild and potentially dangerous.

Think you're missing a 'to' between 'the path' and 'his way'.

The opening scene between Wile and Lemony speaking couldn't help me think about how well this story handles character dialogue. And by character dialogue, I more specifically mean 'when characters talk about their ideas about life to another pony' dialogue that often I roll my eyes at because it gives off an air of a writer copying and pasting text from some philosophy book and dumping them into their characters to make them nothing more than talking heads for some idea.

But here... I really like it. Not just because it's short and to the point, but also because what Wile and Lemony say to one another informs me as a reader who these characters are. Like I know the way Wile talks about how she thinks of stuff informs me that she's a laid back mare, while whenever Lemony speaks of her ideas it informs me of how she's a sweet, but not naive, mare who's curious about the outside world, dangers be damned.

Encountering Nature's Call again was nice, and seeing Wile holding back on being casual towards her really shows just how much Nature's Call is a character you don't mess with. Keats introduction was handled really well, presenting him as this imposing yet gentle figure. I also feel like I'm starting to figure out why this story is called 'To Scorn the Earth.'

Great updates. Really enjoying this story.

10379753
Thanks for your time! :raritywink: How have you been my friend?

I'm curious if there's some sort of reference I'm missing in regards to the fact that the Enclave, not only taking away Perigee's wings, also felt the need to dump her in the mud, force her to suffer from her pain unaided... and have a drummer be there.

It's strange... but in a fun way.

Love how Lem not only uses her magic for this scenario, but is the one who insists that she does this to Wile, really helping to make Lem feel like a protag with agency as opposed to the passive 'does everything that others tell her to do' sort of protag.

The scene where Wile and Lem talk about morality got wordy, but otherwise it felt engaging and this part really felt great to read:

“Well, we can’t wait around for them all to have epiphanies,” Wile said.

“No,” I said, thinking, dropping my ears. “I guess we can’t.”

Also really loved just how unnerved Wile and Lem are at the fact that Perigee is just not as emotionally distraught about losing her wings than most pegasi would be. Really interested to see where that goes.

10410460
Thanks for reading! :rainbowkiss:

Well, the idea was the Enclave leave her there to demonstrate their no tolerance policy toward the surface pegasi, and use the drummer to draw general attention. But, yes, there is a reference

(I'm actually glad you gave me an excuse to make it explicit)

Do I need to read Fallout Equestria: Begin Again in order to understand this story?

10424321
Hi! No, the two stories aren't connected.
The characters here are just loosely based on previous characters.

10440870
I never finished the last one and to Scorn the Earth instead will be 60,000 words, so it'll be finished soon. So, for closure. Otherwise it's been fun to have ponies as characters again and to write in kkat's FO:E universe.

So far, this has been a pleasant read with a rather nice flow to it. The protagonist’s religious nature and emphasis on various forms of light makes for something really unique and further increases my interest in this tale of yours. One thing that somewhat soured my enjoyment of the story was a plethora of oddly placed and redundant commas, brackets, and colons—their placement oftentimes hindered the story’s smooth flow. Also noticed some typos and missing words, but these caused just minor harm compared to the punctuation issues.

I hope I’ll have enough time to read the next chapter soon! :twilightsmile:

holy SHIT. I am absolutely in love with this intro!!!! I have changed a lot as person since I read the original version of this, and I honestly wasn't sure how I would feel being back here, as an out transbian. But my goddess, Lemony Cream's grief here is so rich and vivid. Her emotional intelligence with knowing she can't guarantee she'll not follow Shady into the void is fucking beautiful! I love the purple prose of your earlier works as well, but I am extremely happy you've branched out here because I absolutely love the sheer magnitude of emotion you've packed so artfully into this!!!

Very, very much looking forward to spending more time here with Lemony. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!!!!!

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::yay::yay:

I really love this, and absolutely agree with everything TheWanderingZebra said!

I especially feel extremely moved by Lemony's attitude towards her grief here. I've lost a close loved one as well, and I wish someone had taught me to grieve the way Lemony does here:

All I had of her instead was a memory. Like a description of light, carefully studied. What I had to do now was express it: to act in her spirit or on her behalf so that in a way, from within me, she could continue to live, and to work brightening changes in the world. It wasn’t really in my nature to be helpful. I’d been too private a pony, inside. It remained to be seen if I could change now.

I'm so excited to continue on this journey ^^

Man, feel bad for having took this long to resume reading this. Apologies for that. Overall a rather chill chapter meant to establish Perigee's character. I rather enjoyed just how emotionally mature everyone was taking over Perigee's trauma, rather than having the characters flail and only make each other worse.

Really reminds me of something my editor said about the setting: In a lot of post-apoc stories, there is a resource that is sparse yet desired. In Mad Max it's gas or water. In Waterworld it's land. In Snowpiercer it's warmth and space.

In Fallout: Equestria... it's friendship. Healthy relationships are a sparse thing in the wasteland: without them, a pony could be doomed to be consumed by the wasteland itself. The fact that Ministry Mares during the war abandoned the concept of friendship (alongside other ponies) in favor of a harsh, utilitarian 'necessary evil'.

And so far from what I read about this story, the theme is mainly about the faith put into being a good person and a good friend being far more powerful and fruitful, over a faith in draconian ways of life that some ponies are convinced are the only way to live.

In other words, as Hbomber put it in his Transformers the Movie review: the theme is to dare to be stupid.

Making a mad dash to catch up on this story, so apologizes for not putting comments in the other chapters.

I feel the reason I enjoy this story so far in how it actually portrays what religion in the Wasteland could be in a nuanced manner that honestly I haven't really seen other sidefics handle all that well since honestly, I don't feel the writers for those stories really have a firm grasp of how characters with religious beliefs).

Feeling excited to get to the end of this!

And finally finished! Man, it feels good to have actually finished an FoE sidefic. It really helped that you made your chapters short. Had to say that it was a really fun, bite-sized story. I do feel disappointed that Nature's Call (may she rest in peace) perished before the end, I overall really enjoy how the rest of the story was handled to the end.

Great pacing, excellent prose (I have to ask, where did you learn to write your style? Cause I'd be interested in stealing it.), and overall a good theme! Sad that it's over, but glad I got to experience it.

Am curious if you have any writing outside of this (and your previous FoE fic)?

10559213
Thanks very much for reading through to the end! I really have appreciated your being around.

Sorry for this late response to your comments. I haven't been online here much since finishing.
In June I just came back to revisit this site and write this as you say pretty brief story.

I like to use email mostly and am not usually online here. But if you message me your email I'd love
to address some of your comments and keep talking :twilightsmile:

Only 36 comments? That is like 2 comments for each chapter, can't have numbers like that, better boost those numbers by giving this a read trough!

So the chapter in itself was a bit on the short side, both when looking at the word count and the action and world building going on, and I do really not think that it would have worked as well as it did if not for your very... well I think the best word that I have for it is poetic way of writing. I have never read someone being so poetic, yet not suffering under the weight of purple prosa or boring me to death, so bravo! I can only hope that you keep the style, and can only look forward to see how it mixes with some of the action there are bound to happen in a setting like FoE.

My only comment as such to the chapter is that the "bad" goverment pony admitted to doing the killing, it is a unwritten rule, but no one ever outright admit to killing others, murder is a giant sin after all, and you need to be a real son of a very not nice lady to nod and admit that you have murdered someone with a stray face. A fix could be to step around the issue, they did not "murder" they "removed the issue" or some other name for it like that, but as said is it my only comment on the chapter and it is a really small one.

Nitpicks:
" lying dead behind her desk. Like a dropped object, lying there." Repetition is generally a bad thing, but can also be a good thing if done in the right way, if you for example threw a "just" before the second lying would it get a bigger impact as it dosn't subtract for the words meaning, but builds it up... Hope I make sense.

"I had never seen so much as a shaft of sunlight." Never heard shaft being used like this, I think "beam" are more common.

" (they’ll argue you’re too dangerous, as a practicing unicorn)" Parentheses is not really a thing in spoken text, I get what you were trying to do, but putting it in between a pair of commas should more or less do the same. Parentheses are more for descriptions and thoughts.

", in whatever remains of Equestria.." need an extra period here to make it an ellipsis.

"How must he have he lied to himself when he cast his fatal vote?" Sounds wrong in my ears.

Of course I knew it was just pretend, but still: I did look shyly at the ground as Wile led me away. 

oh my goddess she is so cute!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 :yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

And so deeply thoughtful about world and the ponies around her. I'm really, truly loving this!!!!

I have read a fair few FoE stories by now, so by this point do I feel that I have seen most takes on the Equestrian wasteland, I have read about the snowy tundras in the north, about so many versions of the casino of Las Pegasus and the NCR, but this is the first time that anyone have written about the ruins of the pegasus cloud cities and I must say that I quite like it and wonder why this is the first time anyone brings such an amazing element of the MLP verse up.

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