• Member Since 17th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago


Masquerading as a man with a reason...

Comments ( 29 )

Hahahahahahaha! That ending!


That had to be an interesting story.

Instantly into the favorites! :rainbowlaugh:

Although I was a little suspicious that the story's little more than a long, ranting monologue by Celestia, this story is a really nice stream of consciousness. I enjoyed this very much.

Saw that ending coming a mile away, not a bad one-shot.

Thought Luna would have been asleep through it all.

I thought she'd be away, in a closet. With the pool mare most likely.

I honestly love getting into Celestia's head when she's in a more 'casual' mood. AKA not worrying about what other people think. I honestly was seeing her rant the whole time, and also totally saw the ending coming, either with Luna not there or fast asleep. :rainbowlaugh:

Great story, defiantly getting a thumbs up from me.

But now I got a small problem...I'm currently writing a story of my own and I'm currently about thirteen thousand words in, however in chapter two I wrote about Celestia complaining about how freakishly tall she is to Luna. I'm not taking credit for the idea but I don't want people to think I ripped you off. Since you published your story first, I can try to change my story but the plot kind of hinges on it, or I could give you credit for comming up with it first.
Whatever makes you happy, I don't want any trouble.

P.S. you cover art is freaking amazing! I love it.

Hello,I'm a translator and I want to translate your work into Chinese.It's really a good story, and should be known by more people!However I have no permission.Can I get your permission?I'm sure I will send the link.:pinkiehappy:

Wow! That was one pissed-off ex-princess! The ending was just the capper to beat all; Luna not even being there to hear Celestia's rant.:scootangel:

I kept wondering if this was going to be extra dark and millenniums had passed and she was talking to a pile of bones or something.

What if she's mad about the cake being a liar to her?

That was awesome. Just perfect visceral and uncensored vitriol all the way through. Great job!

Holy christ this was absolutely superb writing! Between the storytelling from Celestia in how you formed it to the background motions was all just beautiful! I couldn't help myself! I had to make an audio reading of this, hope ya didn't mind!

Audio Lonkor: https://youtu.be/-ObFjciyA2M

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment!)

Hilarious! 1000 years of rule, and then nothing more to do than sip mojitos on the beach and gripe :(

I perosnal thought the ending was going to be empy chair with note say "been call back to work since I did not put in enough hrs cauuse of that 1000 year banishment, see you in 1000 years"
or something like luna was force or willing went to work under twilight

Luna's new "Tell All" book now has a title:


HAhaha! :rainbowlaugh: I hadn't thought of that. I find that incredibly dark and hilarious. Well done.

No problem here. Great minds think alike. I see no reason to change your story. If anyone claims you ripped that idea off, I'll set them straight.
And thank for the compliment on the artwork. I love drawing as much as writing. And since we're on the topic of giving credit where credit is due, my art for this story was heavily inspired by this piece. It's one of my favorite Celestia pieces.

Great reading! I enjoyed your interpretation of the emphases and inflections. It was also nice hearing this in someone else's voice other than just in my head. 😄

I thought Luna was going to be asleep the nature time but you made it even better than that.


Ordinarily, I hate it when people write Celestia swearing like that, but this was golden :rainbowlaugh:

“You know, Luna, maybe I don’t miss being a princess. That workload was crap. Always solving somepony else’s problems, never having enough time to deal with your own. Although, now we have plenty of time to solve our problems. And yet here we sit. Not doing anything. Nothing! No-thing! I want be doing something with my time.” She sipped again and hiccupped. “Sweet Mother, take me. Listen to me. Did hear that, Luna? Did you hear what I just said? Complaining about wanting to do something with my time. Holy cat shit! Look at what being princess has done to me! Thousands of years of constantly being the mediator, the guard, the watchtower, the secretary of Equestria – all of it has got me wanting to do something in my time off. I’m actually feeling guilty about not doing anything! They’ve got me feeling guilty. Unbelievable. Unbefuckinglievable!”

I want TO be doing something

Did YOU hear that, Luna?

“You know dad hasn’t responded to my postcard. I mean, I know we asked to be left alone but he could at least send a reply. Or mom. I suppose I sent it to both of them.” She sighed. “Have you ever thought about having kids, Luna? I have. Now that I have time, I guess I could try. Of course, I’d have to find the right stallion. Which, of course brings us back to Sombra. He was perfect. Was . Damn, he was so perfect. I’d like another like him. Doesn’t have to be a king, of course, but it would help. We both knew the rigors of being a ruler. And neither of would have been marrying up or down. If I just bagged some regular schmuck, I’d always being thinking about whether or not he loved me for me or just my name and everything that went with it. Damn. Fuck! Fucking damn! You know what I should have done? I should have married that stallion I dated in my 900’s. Debonair, charming, articulate, kind. Bit on the arrogant side but damn if he wasn’t a fine piece of tail. I wasn’t a princess yet – at least not the ruling kind. Could’ve married, boned, had kids. I would have known he loved me for me. Now? Shit. My womb is probably the hottest piece of real-estate in the world and every stallion wants to plant his flag.” She annoyedly poked at her belly.


Thanks for the catch.

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