Ch.9: How Big is This Town Anyway?
[Previously]
Zach decided it would be a good idea to set aside the time to practice this at least once every day. ‘I’m not normally the best at keeping to my commitments, but I’m going to make this my exception. Pony world might have been one of the last places I wanted to be teleported to, but magic is magic. I’ll happily tolerate the sugary niceness of ponies if it means I get to learn real magic.’
And maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to figure out a way back home.
[Our story continues]
…
Zach spent the next hour and a half sitting at his table and lifting the book into the air, moving the thing around and setting it back down to start again. This gradually helped him adjust to the differences in moving objects with a non-corporeal appendage instead of his physical limbs.
Despite how progressively easier it became for him to perform this kinesis; he still couldn’t figure out the proper way to open the book while he held it aloft in his magical grasp. No amount of exertion onto the book through his telekinesis seemed to make the pages budge. All he could do was move the object around through the air.
Zach manually opened the book with a nudge and tried lifting it while it was open for a change. The book rose into the air with very little difference to be seen; He noted that the book remained open while he held it suspended in the air, as if it were suspended in zero gravity. Zach rotated the book and tried to get gravity to close it, only for this to have no effect on it whatsoever; even the individual pages were unfazed by the forces of gravity.
‘There has to be a trick to this, something more to it that I’m not getting.’ He thought to himself.
Zach stared at the book and mulled over an idea he had growing in his mind. ‘What if I’m not supposed to try and physically pry the book open at all? Seeing as this is magic, I wonder if there is some alternative way in which it applies physical force to objects?’
He laid the book back on the table and nudged it open with his horn. ‘It’s time for more reading; Better than attending a lecture, I guess. Maybe I should get a pony dictionary to help with some of these terms? Eh, terminology differences or not, I still should be able to get this if I can just apply myself to the material.’
Zach paused in his thought and made the unfortunate realization, ‘…if I can just apply myself to the material? Oh my god, I sound like my high school English teacher! You know, high school would’ve been pretty great if they taught magic…’
The thought of magic infused idiot teenagers made him shiver. ‘Oh heck no; maybe it’s for the best that a bunch of dumb high schoolers didn’t have magic. I remember the one time they let me try to make Napalm with ingredients that the classroom had on hand. That was a fun science experiment, my science teacher was pretty cool for letting me do that; the look on her face when she saw that I actually made a functioning napalm-like substance was priceless. Anyway, high school tangents aside…’
Zach went to turn the pages of the book, but he stopped himself as another idea came to him. ‘I wonder if I can pinpoint my kinesis onto the pages and turn them individually? Shoot, maybe that’s what I’ve been getting wrong.’
He applied his telekinesis to one of the page corners, or at least that’s what he tried to do. What ended up happening was a good dozen pages all gripped in his telekinesis at once, and it wasn’t merely the corners that were in his grasp. He was in fact able to turn these pages separately from the rest of the book, so it seemed to be a step in the right direction.
He made two additional attempts with similar enough results for him to conclude, ‘Okay, precision is going to be a challenge; I’ll have to practice with this. That being said, I at least now know I can manipulate parts of the book separately from the rest of it. Alright, back to the book.’
Zach flipped the pages open with his mouth until he got back to where he left off. “Let’s see, telekinesis… manipulation of objects… aha, here we are.”
He went over the material and momentarily sidestepped the terms he didn’t fully understand. One passage in particular seemed to stand out to him as he read, so he went back and re-read it. ‘What does it mean by magical saturation? Is that how much magic I put into my spell? No, that can’t be right, it’s written like I’m applying an effect to the object. I don’t understand, I’m already saturating it with my kinesis, aren’t I?’
Zach exhaled and slowly pushed the book away, “I think I’m on the right track at the very least. The way the book explains how telekinesis works tells me I’m not supposed to physically pry open this book through holding it in kinesis. Maybe the problem is more on my end than I thought; I mean I’m treating my kinesis like a magical hand, but it’s coming out more like a blob of grabbing… Maybe I need to refine the blob and separate my telekinesis into different points on the book? Yeah, I’ll try that next.”
A few moments passed, then Zach’s mind turned for a moment to the changelings. He knew for a fact that this spell book wouldn’t have anything about changeling magic in it, but maybe it had something that could give him clues as to what steps he’d need to take to utilize the changeling ability to change shape. “I might as well take a peek, since I’m at a momentary stopping point with my telekinesis.”
He pulled the book back towards himself and skimmed through the pages; he looked for anything referring to shapeshifting in the terminology he knew from his fantasy RPG games. “Transformation…? No, nothing. Shapeshifting? Nope, still nothing…” He spent the next minute or so browsing through the pages. “Polymorphing maybe? Nope.”
Zach set the book aside and looked to the others that occupied his bags, ‘Wait… of course transformation isn’t going to be in the ‘basic spellcasting for dummies’ book I’ve been reading. Changing shape can’t be easy to pull off, except for bugs I’m guessing.’ He levitated the additional books out of his bag and laid them out onto the table before skimming through their pages.
“Now, lets see… transformation? No; you know what, let me check the table of contents. Aha! Got a winner: Polymorphing.” He checked the cover and, sure enough, this book’s title clearly asserted it was geared towards slightly more advanced forms of magic than simply lifting things into the air.
Zach immediately got to work reading this particular entry, only to be met with mild disappointment. “Ah damn, this spell is only for changing the form of other things, not yourself. At least I know the term for it now, so I know what to look for. I think I’ll ask twilight about self-polymorphing and see what she has to say about it; she’s smart, she’ll know.”
He set aside that idea, ‘Welp, back to reading the guide to magic for ponies that aren’t purple.’ Zach returned to the starting spell-book and picked something random from the table of contents to try out. “There’s a ‘Light’ spell? Do they mean like a flashlight, or like a lightbulb?”
Zach read through this entry rather quickly compared to all the re-reading he’d done with telekinesis. The spell was exceptionally simple, “Ok, it’s a base light source and not a directional light. It looks super easy; just channel magic into my horn, then focus its current by holding it at the very tip. If basic telekinesis is supposed to be the easiest spell to learn, this one has to be the second easiest.”
He channeled his magic into his horn and focused it to the point of his horn tip; he held his focus there for a minute before he had to stop from a growing fatigue that was quickly building up in his horn. ‘What the-? Oh, wait, do unicorns tire out their magic reserves or something?’
Zach quickly browsed through the book’s opening chapters until he found an entry that explained it. “Magical strain; so it looks like unicorns don’t ever run out of magic, so much as they just get fatigued from casting spells too many times and too quickly.”
He let his horn rest for a good minute before trying the light spell again. Zach held his focus onto his horn and channeled his magic into it until he could see a small dot of gentle light at the end of his horn. The light was barely visible, but that was to be expected seeing as it was the middle of the day.
Looking at the way his horn projected light, he saw a vague similarity to how a filament lightbulb produced light. “Huh, neat; I wonder if they use magic as a power source?” Zach felt the strain building and couldn’t hold the spell for much longer. He released his focus and the light faded as quickly as it had appeared. “Alrighty, I’ve got two whole spells under my belt now; super basic spells, sure, but I am actually learning magic!”
And that was reason enough for him to be excited.
When Zach next took a breath, he was met with a soft sliver of sweetness lingering in the air. He felt his thoughts being tugged in the direction of the appealing flavors and aroma, but he pushed those desires out of his mind. ‘No, not now bug brain, we just ate.’
The mental tug came right back and persisted, and Zach rolled his eyes in annoyance. ‘Bug-brain, come on; I get that there’s food out there, but we don’t need to eat.’
His stomach was, for the moment, still satisfied from his previous meal; a fact he pointed out to whatever part of his bugmind he hoped would listen. The smell of affection in the distance continued to rile up his bug-senses, but he was able to steer his train of thought away from it with some effort.
‘Since bug mind is connected to my magic and seems at least somewhat intelligent, I need to sit down and see if I can’t talk with it and set some boundaries or sort out my issues with it. I’m not about to let these insect senses dictate my behavior any more than they already are.’
Zach looked up to the sky and stretched his legs, ‘For now though, maybe I should take a break from magic practice and go for a walk? I can think on what I’ve learned about magic so far and come back to this later, with a fresh perspective.’
As much as he would have preferred continuing to work on his magic, a walk did sound nice. ‘I’ll browse through the rest of these books later tonight and see if there's anything in polymorphing that can give me some insight on changeling shapeshifting. Well, maybe not, talking to Twilight seems like the better idea. Either way, if I can figure out what goes into polymorphing then I can figure out bug-shifting and lose this accessory mashup disguise.’
Zach levitated the books and slipped them easily enough back in his bag; and a thought crossed his mind that raised his mood a bit. “I won’t have to worry about using my mouth to grab stuff now, which is nice. I wonder if operating a doorknob requires precision, or if I can just twist it with the basic movement? Only one way to find out, buuut I’ll get to that later.”
He stepped away from the table, saddlebags slung over his back, and walked out into the streets of Ponyville.
Things seemed to have picked up quite a bit in the time he’d been practicing. There were far more ponies taking to the streets than had been before. Lucky for him, everyone seemed preoccupied with whatever it was they were intent on doing; he found it easy enough to casually slip into a free space in the flow of ponies and be on his way.
Zach wasn’t sure where he was going, nor did he have any particular destination in mind. He just needed a break from magical studies and maybe a distraction; the simple activity of walking, stretching his legs, and just admiring the town fit the bill perfectly.
There were only a few ponies left arranging the decorations, ‘They must have finished the majority of their celebration prep by now.’ he thought to himself. He gradually lost track of time as he idly wandered and admired the visuals of the now fully Sun-themed pony town; It was certainly festive and lively, he could appreciate that.
Eventually he arrived at a significantly roomier and more opened up section of the town. Distributed in the open space were a number of trading stalls and merchant kiosks, all of them organized into lanes for ponies to walk through and browse. His best guess was that he’d arrived at the town’s marketplace.
‘You know, I’ve never been to an actual “marketplace”; the closest I’ve gotten was an outdoor mall. Hey, one more line crossed off the bucket-list I guess.’ That thought sat in his mind for a moment and started to make him a bit depressed; something seemingly so ordinary to these ponies was something he’d put on a list of things he wanted to do before he died.
“Wow, I need to get outside more.” He affirmed.
“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise!” Came a familiar male voice to Zach’s right.
He turned his head to see who it was addressing him and saw that it was that Pegasus he’d met before, the one with the brown coat and green mane from the outdoor diner.
In the pegasi’s left wing, gripped by the fingerlike feathertips, was some kind of baked, glazed treat impaled on a wooden stick. “I was hoping I might run into you again before the festival. Lucky me, huh?” In the time it took Zach to respond, the pegasus took a bite of the snack-on-a-stick.
“Oh, um, hi; you’re Arco Prattle, right?” Zach felt a small bit of reassurance with his presence. ‘Arco seemed alright when I first met him; I mean, he bought me some coffee, so he’s already got good standing in my book.’
“Right as rain! How’s life treating you today, my ninja enthusiast friendo?” The pegasus said with a pleasant smile.
“Pretty good, all things considered;” Zach replied, “I’ve been reading up on magic and practicing with my telekinesis. Later today I’m thinking I might like to try and learn how to f- uhm…” He abruptly stopped himself, catching his words in his throat just as they were about to leave his lips. In his effort to make up small talk, Zach had almost uttered the word “fly”.
“Learn how to what?” Arco asked innocently enough in the awkward silence.
Zach deftly applied a course correction, “Sorry about that, I had a brain fart; You see, I’m not just reading up on magic, I’m doing a sort of crash course in spellcasting. I have a whole lot of catching up to do to get where I want to be magic-wise; I’m guessing I kinda fizzled out my brain a bit.”
Arco gave a polite nod and gestured with his free wing, “Well good for you! Even seasoned pegasi need a refresher course in flight techniques now and then. No shame in honing one’s skills, right?”
‘That was too close. I need to take greater care in remembering that I’m playing the part of a unicorn. Sheesh that was a stupid mistake.’ Zach offered a smile from under the mask and voiced agreement, “Right, definitely.”
Arco then changed the subject, “So, you finally swapped out of the spooky scary monster mask for something a little more concealing? Not too sure about the choice of fashion, but to each his own; I pride myself on not being a judgmental pegasus.”
Zach responded with an attempt at wit, “Well it was either this or a clown mask.”
Arco laughed aloud and offered agreement, “Oh yes, this was a much better alternative in that case!” He took a final bite of his stick-bound-snack once he’d finished laughing.
The pegasus politely cleared his throat and cocked his head to one side as he asked, “Pardon my concern, but are you sure using your voice like that won’t rip up your throat? I mean, not that I have anything against it, I’m just worried you won’t have a voice in the morning if you talk like that too much.”
“Oh, I’m fine; I’ve practiced enough with having it like this that I should be alright.”
Arco shrugged, “Well, suit yourself.” And with that the pegasus started walking and gestured for Zach to follow, “Come on, Käfer, we can talk while we walk.”
Zach figured he may as well; Arco was no Derpy, but he was starting to like this pegasus. Besides, being around a friendly pony like Arco would help mitigate any unwanted attention should that become an issue. He liked having that reassurance.
“Käfer, you mentioned you were studying and practicing your magic; mind if I ask what you’re working on?” Arco asked.
Zach wasn’t sure what a pegasus would know about magic, but he humored him, “I’ve been trying to work out how to manipulate objects when they’re held in my kinesis. For instance, I was trying to open a book I had held in my telekinesis, but I just couldn’t figure it out.”
Arco stopped in his tracks and eyed Zach with a mild confusion, “Wait, are we talking advanced kinesis, or the basic stuff?”
“Basic; I haven’t even started trying to learn advanced yet. I know, I’m really far behind the magical curve, but I’m trying to fix that.” Zach explained.
Arco stared at Zach for a good moment, blinking once or twice. “You… you’re serious? I thought all unicorns knew how to do that.”
Zach sighed and nodded, “Yes, I know, it’s unusual or whatever for a unicorn to not know the basics of magic at my age. I’ve already been given that talk by Purple-smart, so you don’t need to lecture me too.”
Arco raised a hoof as if he were about to say something only to pause and think about it. Eventually he said, “You know what? Käfer, I think it’s great that you’re putting in the effort to learn and improve yourself.”
Zach offered a passive thanks.
“Anyway,” The pegasus spoke again, “what part of your kinesis seems to be giving you trouble? Maybe I can lend a hoof?”
Zach was quiet for a moment and blinked at the question, “Umm, Arco, not to be rude, but isn’t magic unique to unicorns?”
He nodded, “Spellcasting, yes, but I’ve got unicorn friends; I’ve helped them enough times with their magic stuff to know a thing or two on how some spells work, kinda. I’ll never be able to cast anything myself, on account of not having a horn and all, but knowledge is knowledge. If I can help you in any way, I’d be happy to.”
Zach slowly nodded, not wishing to turn away the offer. “OK, well, I’ve been trying to use my kinesis to open this book I have. I’ve tried utilizing my magic like it’s a hand pulling the book open, but it doesn’t seem to work. I have a few ideas I might try later, but do you have any suggestions?”
“Well, telekinesis isn’t supposed to be a ‘hand’, I don’t think; otherwise, they’d call it ‘magical hand’ and not ‘telekinesis’.” Arco said with a light chuckle.
“So what should I do then?”
Arco paused and rubbed a hoof under his chin in thought. “Hmm, if I’m remembering correctly, I think you’re supposed to transfer more magic to the book and apply additional kinesis to the individual pages, or something to that effect. There was a word for what you’re supposed to do, but I can’t remember…”
“The passage mentioned magical saturation, was that it?”
Arco clicked his tongue and pointed a hoof at Zach, “Aha! That’s the word! Magical saturation.”
“So, Telekinesis is like a blob of holding that I have to specifically aim at the individual pages if I want the book to open?
Arco thought about it for a moment, then answered, “I believe it’s something like that, yeah. I think your next step is that you need to work on your precision with kinesis if you want to start using it to manipulate different parts of the stuff you’re holding in it. I imagine the more you practice the more it will come naturally to you. As I said, and as is obvious, I'm not a unicorn and so I can't exactly speak from experience, only observation.”
Zach huffed thoughtfully, “Well, I appreciate the perspective; It’s nice to know I was on the right track.”
Arco gave him a smile and a nod, “Happy to help, friendo!”
“Thanks, Arco.”
With that, the two of them continued their walk through the market.
“So, have you made any new friends since yesterday, Käfer?” Arco eventually asked. “If you don’t mind me asking that is.”
Zach gave it a quick thought, “Maybe, maybe not. I met Twilight Sparkle a little while ago, she’s where I got my books on magic from; she also helped me get started with my studying, but I highly doubt making friends is that easy.”
It took him only a moment before he realized the irony of what he said, especially with the particular individual he was referring to.
“Making friends is a lot easier than you might think, friendo! I was surprised myself when-” Arco stopped and paused, turning to look at Zach with an inquisitive expression, “Apologies, but, who’s Twilight Sparkle? I don’t think I’ve heard of a pony with that name in town before.”
Zach raised an eyebrow and he asked bluntly, “You don’t know her?” A realization hit and reminded him that the mane six weren’t the element bearers yet, that and Twilight had only just arrived in town; it was completely reasonable and should be expected that Arco didn’t know who Twilight was. “Oh, right, I’m dumb. Twilight is the unicorn mare that flew in from Canterlot earlier today, she’s staying in the Golden oaks.”
Arco gave a drawn out, “Ohh” and nodded with understanding, “So that was her name! I saw the airship fly in earlier, but I wasn’t near enough to actually see who departed. I might have caught a glimpse of her heading into the Golden Oaks with the Mayor… is she that purple unicorn with the little dragon in tow?”
“Yes, that was Twilight and her dragon, Spike.’ Zach confirmed. “She’s pretty smart, friendly enough too. I’m probably going to meet up with her again sometime and see if she can help me some more with my magic.”
“That sounds like you might have yourself a new friend. Good for you, Käfer!” Arco asserted.
“Yeah, maybe.”
The two of them walked together until they reached one end of the market.
“Hey, are you as excited as everypony else is to see the princess?” Arco asked. “She’s quite the sight if you believe the word around town. This will be my first time actually; I can’t wait to see her in person!”
“I’ve seen her before.” Zach said without thinking. Seeing Arco’s expression of surprise, he quickly backpedaled and added, “N-not up close or anything like that, but I’ve seen her in passing once or twice.”
The pegasus gave an “Ahh,” and then asked, “So you’ve never actually met her in person?”
Zach shook his head, “Nope, can’t say that I have.”
Arco shrugged his shoulders, “Well, hey, if you do end up wanting to meet the princess for real, tonight’s as good of a chance as you’re probably ever going to get!” He said with a jovial tone to his voice and his step.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Arco gradually came to a stop and had a conflicted look on his face when Zach turned to face him.
“Something wrong?” Zach asked.
Arco bit his lower lip and glanced around, then he spoke in a lower tone. “Now that I think about it, I’m not so sure how I’d be able to put this politely, but… it’s probably for the best of you keep the spooky mask of yours at home for a while, especially if you do plan to try and meet Celestia at the celebration.”
Zach lowered his brow at the suggestion. He didn’t know what the pegasus meant by that, but he was sure he didn’t like the implications. “Why do you say that?”
The pegasus looked around again and gave a concerned smile, “Well I don’t want to imply anything bad, buuuut; some folks tend to react a bit more negatively to the spookier kinds of things than others. Now that’s not to say the princess couldn’t handle a silly little fright like what your mask was, I’m only concerned that, well..” He gestured with his hoof in a circular motion, “It might make for a poor first impression, you know?”
Zach was about ready to inquire further into the details and ask why Arco would bring that up; until he recalled how poorly his appearance was received by Mr.Weatherly at that hotel.
Then there was that one pony who seemed to be stalking him; whichever his name was, Blue, the pony that kept appearing and turning tail when Zach looked at him, and that was just from one glance.
He didn’t want to think Celestia was capable of that kind of prejudiced behavior, but did he really want to take that chance? The answer was, of course, no. That was redundant anyway, as there wasn’t going to be any meeting with Celestia tonight, thanks to evil-moon-butt.
Of course, Arco didn’t know this, so he played along. “I’m definitely keeping the spooky mask at home for the foreseeable future. Thanks for the warning though.” Zach said.
Arco reached over with a wing and gave him a pat on the shoulder, “You know, I think you’re a nice enough pony, Käfer. I bet twenty silver bits that folks would warm right up to you and you’d make all kinds of friends if you just ditched that scary mask altogether and took off the silly getup.”
Zach forcibly wrestled back the knee jerk reaction he’d instinctively wanted to do at the physical contact and compromised with a step out from Arco’s reach. “I don’t know about that.” he struggled to come up with adequate words to help him better explain his situation without giving anything away. “I mean, I’d love to not have to wear this outfit around anymore, but... its not so easy for someone like me.”
He internally groaned after trailing off. ‘Was that really the best I could come up with? Ugh, I can do better that that.’
Arco’s face softened into a look of sympathy, “Why not? Is it a self-confidence thing?”
‘Well now, that works.’ Zach mentally thanked Arco for this much more convincing avenue of explaining himself. “It’s something like that, if I had to give it a label; I’m not too happy with the way I look, and I don’t think anyone else would care for it either.”
The pegasus slowly tilted his head to the side with a quizzical, yet still deeply sympathetic expression, “Why’s that? Are you a nocturne or something? One of those bat ponies?” He offered a warm grin and gestured to himself with his wings, “Hey, like I said before, I pride myself on not being a judgmental pegasus! I’ve got no issues with nocturnal pegasi whatsoever.”
“No, it’s not that, I’m… You see, uh…” Zach stopped himself from going any further with that line of thought and audibly sighed; he didn’t see any better way of explaining his situation without compromising himself, “I’d rather not talk about it, it’s a sensitive subject.”
Arco’s expression waned, and the pegasus was silent for a moment before a smile of understanding returned to his features, “That’s fine by me, don’t you worry about it, friendo! I’m sure you’ll figure it out on your own terms and in your own time; you don’t need me putting added pressure on you.”
Zach thanked him again, audibly this time.
“Whenever you’re ready to unmask and say hello to the world for real, I’d like to know what you really look like; I’m sure I’m not the only one.” Arco said with a friendly gesture of his hoof.
“Yeah, you and me both.” Zach muttered under his breath.
Arco must have heard him, because the pegasus gave a light laugh.
“You’re a funny fella, Käfer; I’m sure you’re going to be right at home here in Ponyville.” He said, “At any rate, it was nice running into you again, but I should head out; I’ve got some friends I made plans with for tonight’s festivities. I hope you enjoy the Summer Sun Celebration, and I also hope you end up making Ponyville your permanent residence.”
“Well, I don’t have anywhere else to go,” Zach said with a soft shrug and a shake of his head, “so I may as well stay here.”
“I guess that’s as good a reason as any!” Arco said, then turned to leave, only to stop and fish around in his pocket. “Oh, before I go: have you gone to any of the market stands? You really should; I recommend trying some of the locally grown apples!”
Zach lightly grimaced, “Ahhh, I would, but I don’t have any money on me.”
“Well in that case, here.” Arco produced a silver coin and held it out in his wing. “You just have to try one of the locally grown apples, they’re really something special.”
Zach looked at the bit and stammered, “But- I don’t- I can’t-…”
“Please, I insist,” The buck said with a smile. “Don’t have to buy an apple if you don’t like apples; keep it regardless, It’s just one silver bit.”
Zach hesitated, but he eventually took the small coin with his kinesis, taking great care not to accidentally grab Arco’s wing in the process with his mediocre telekinesis.
“I uh… thanks.” He said with guilt sitting in the back of his mind.
“You’re very welcome!” Arco happily responded. “I’ll be seeing you later.”
Zach looked to the bit, then Arco, and nodded, “Sure, yeah; I’ll see you around.”
The pegasus headed out and eventually disappeared from view behind a cluster of ponies.
With Arco gone, Zach was left alone with his thoughts again. He looked down at the bit and frowned. ‘I hate accepting money from people. It’s not like I’m not grateful for the cash or anything, but… ugh, whatever, gift horses and mouths or however that saying goes. I don’t even think that’s the right saying for this situation.’
Zach pocketed the bit and had a look around. He still didn’t really have anything else to do outside magical studies, nothing that immediately came to mind at least.
He stopped in his train of thought upon seeing the unmistakable visage of Applejack standing at her stall mere feet away. His eyes wandered over the assortment of apples on display before her; his stomach lightly grumbled with anticipation, ‘Well, Arco did say to try one of the local grown apples, I can only assume he meant Applejack’s apples. Who else grows apples in Ponyville?’
Zach wasn’t particularly eager to meet and interact with any new ponies, but he caved for the sake of food. ‘It’s not like I need to hold an extended conversation with her; I’m just buying an apple. Stupidly simple, I could do it in my sleep; well, unless it’s one of those weird dreams where I can’t speak above a whisper. Those ones really annoy me.’ Besides, this was Applejack; he knew the mare well enough from the show and she should be easy to get along with if he did end up holding a conversation with her.
‘Assuming she’s the same way she was in the show.’ Zach took a breath and strolled up to the apple stand.
He was there for only a few seconds before Applejack turned to address him. The air was laced with a welcoming and pleasant flavor that he felt would have put him in a good mood had he not already been in a pretty decent mood already.
“Howdy there!” Applejack abruptly paused mid greeting upon seeing him; when she spoke again, she had the same thick country accent as she had in the show, “…Ah don’t think Ah’ve seen you ‘round town before; Ah take it you’ve come into Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration?”
Zach gave a quick nod, “Something like that.”
“Ah’m awfully happy to see a new face here in our little town, even if Ah can’t actually see much of your face.” She offered a hoof with a smile and said, “Name’s Applejack!”
Zach looked to her hoof and hesitated.
A distasteful aroma hit Zach’s bug senses as the apple farmer pulled her hoof back. She had a somewhat confused expression to match her tone, “Not much for hoofshakes Ah take it?”
“Sorry, it’s a personal thing.” He said apologetically, then quickly added, “I’m Käfer.”
Applejack nodded and gave a wave of her hoof, and with her gesture the emotion-aroma returned to something positive again, “Well alrighty then, no hard feelings, Käfer.”
She tapped her hoof to the boxes of apples and changed the subject, “So, yer lookin’ to buy some of Sweet Apple Acres’ finest selection? Won’t find any apples better’n what we produce here in Ponyville!”
“That’s the idea, yeah.” Zach replied, then took a moment to look over the apples on display. There were, much to his pleasant surprise, a variety of different apples for sale and not just the typical ‘red apples’ he was half expecting them all to be. Every apple rested in its associated slot alongside its brethren and they all looked equally tasty; even the Red Delicious apples looked tempting, much as he didn’t care for Red Delicious.
“Bit warm for bundlin’ up like that, doncha think?” Applejack commented.
With his mind having been preoccupied with food in that moment, he swiftly blurted out the first thing to come to mind in response: the punchline to a newspaper comic. “Hey, I’m not about to let the weather tell me what to wear.”
Applejack blinked once at the joke, then cracked a smile and gave a decent laugh, “Well shoot, Ah can’t argue with a sense of humor like that. So, what can Ah get ya on this fine summer day? Got a craving for anything in particular?”
‘Emotions? NO, shut-up brain, that’s not funny… okay maybe it’s a little bit funny. Still, shut up, brain.’
He glanced down and a batch of apples caught his eye. These apples in particular stood out from the others in that while they had a primary of red, they possessed a mix of yellows blending together with the red over their surface. “How about one of these?”
“A Honeycrisp? Ah see ya got yerself a specific’ sweet tooth. Honeycrisps are usually popular with the city-folk from out of town. Real sweet, mild notes of sour to balance it out.”
“I’ll take one.” He said and fished for the silver bit with his magic, which proved to be a bit of a struggle due to the relative size of the bit. He did manage to grab it and pulled it from where he’d stuffed the coin without having turn the pocket inside out.
After Zach produced the coin and laid it upon the stall counter, Applejack eyed it and gestured to the honeycrisps. “Take yer pick, they’re all top quality. Apple family guarantee!”
Zach eyed the stack of apples and carefully grabbed hold of just one with his magic, though he came close to grabbing a handful of them. With apple in hand- or rather magic- he gave the apple farmer a nod and a thanks, then stepped away from her stall.
Applejack called out to him before he’d taken his second step, “Hey, hold on a sec, don’tcha want more’n just the one?”
“Hmm?” Zach turned to face her, and the mare tapped on the sign hanging above her.
The sign read: “Special summer sale: three for one Silver Bit”
“Oh, um, sure.” Zach sheepishly stepped back to the stall and grabbed an additional two apples to stow in his bag. “Thanks.”
Applejack smiled and gave a quick wave, “Thank ya kindly for yer patronage! Enjoy the Summer Sun Celebration!” Almost immediately, another pony approached her stall and her attention turned to them. “Howdy!”
Zach held the apple in his magic, turning it in his grasp and looking it over. He’d seen one of these apples back home now that he thought about it; never took the chance to try one.
“Alrighty, apple time.”
He was about to pull the mask from his face when he stopped himself and glanced around. Every pony around him was still minding their own business and not paying any attention to him, but he didn’t think it would stay that way if he removed his mask and started eating right here in the market.
“Ahhh shoot…”
‘Wait, I don’t need to remove my mask, what am I doing?’ He rolled his eyes and held the apple under his chin, tucking it under the cloth covering his mouth, then leaned down and gave the apple a bite. His fangs made it a bit tricky to actually bite into the thing, but with a bit of experimenting and finding the proper angle, he managed to get a solid chomp.
The apple was as juicy as it was delicious; Sweet, yet mildly sour with a crisp bite of flavor. It was every bit as tasty as he was hoping it would be, and he loved it.
‘Huh, so that’s why they’re called Honeycrisp. I’m happy to put yet another notch in the “this isn’t a cartoon or a dream” category. If this were a dream, this would taste nasty and my brain would tell me it tasted good. Aaaaand now I’m curious if those red-delicious apples are better here than they are back home; that’s something for the next time I guess.’
He ate what he had and took another bite of the apple. “Mmm, Delicious!” Zach looked over the apple as he chewed, then his eyes wandered and he had a look around, ‘Time to wander again.’ And so, he set his feet to the task.
Just up ahead, a gathering of ponies was making their way down the street towards the market. Rather than trying to weave his way through the crowd, Zach thought it better to try and move to the side and go around them.
‘Since I’ve got no indication that I’m going to be teleported back home, and I seriously doubt I’m going to be able to leave Equestria of my own means any time soon, I think I’ll need to find a way to earn money at some point.’ Zach put a pin on that idea and set it aside for now, seeing as there were more than a few things he needed to hammer out before he could even think of working a job here.
He didn’t have anywhere specific he wanted to go, so he considered looking for the places in town that were from the show and familiarize himself with where everything was. He quickly realized, upon recalling the imagery from the show, that he really didn’t have any good reference for where anything was. He knew where the Golden Oaks was, and he knew where Derpy lived; but the more he looked around, the more he realized how much he had no idea where anything else was in town.
‘It’s not that big of a town, so it’s not like I’ll get lost and be unable find my way to a familiar place like I would in a city or out in the woods. But still… it is decently sized.’ Zach decided upon his next course of action then and there, ‘I’ll go look for a tourist kiosk or something to see if I can’t grab a copy of a map of the town or get a guide pamphlet. With all the ponies coming in from out of town, they’ve got to have those lying around somewhere.’ He turned around and started walking back towards the market.
Out of the corner of his eye, Zach spied the familiarly unfriendly face of Blue. He mistakenly turned to look at the pony, and in doing so he saw that Blue was looking right back at him.
The taste of emotion on Zach’s tongue was fiery and oddly energizing; angry, but it was something a bit more. Blue was angry and Zach could tell that clearly enough, even if his face didn’t show it at that moment.
“You.” The pony menacingly uttered under narrowing eyes.
Now Blue’s face showed it.
Zach looked away and swiftly continued his path back towards the market, praying that Blue would simply move on with the crowd. ‘Please don’t follow me, please don’t follow me, PLEASE don’t follow me.’ He nervously took another bite of his apple and glanced back; sure enough, following him was exactly what Blue was doing.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Blue asserted with a demanding tone that matched his expression.
“Somewhere you aren’t!” Zach said with a mouthful of apple, having no desire to stick around to find out what Blue wanted from him. ‘Welp this couldn’t possibly get any worse! AAH! NO! SHUT UP BRAIN, SHUT UP!’
“Get back here! I’ve got questions for you and I’m going to get answers!” Blue called out to him, but Zach only quickened his pace and headed right into the middle of the market.
“Sorry, fresh out of answers!” Zach quipped.
“That was an answer!” Blue shot back with clear agitation.
He ducked around ponies and darted between the market stalls, narrowly avoiding bowling into a pony couple and nearly toppling over a stack of apples, much to the farmpony’s displeasure.
“Whoa there, careful! Watch where’ y’all are walkin’!” Applejack called out.
“Sorry!” Zach glanced behind himself to see that Blue was hot on his heels, which of course he was. ‘What in the world is this jerk’s problem? Why can’t he leave me alone?’ He yelled in his mind as he leaped over a small box of decorative sun-themed ornaments. ‘Is Blue a changeling or something?’
The next thing he knew, he overheard the sound of wood crates knocking around and apples tumbling from their containers, followed by the shouting of the apple pony “Oh fer cryin’ out loud, Lucky! Y’all have really done it this time!”
He looked back and saw that Blue was stuck back at Applejack’s stand, with the farm pony looking very unhappy with him and apples strewn about on the ground; A crowd started to form with ponies around him blocking his way. ‘Well, that will make things a little easier on me.’ The air was filling with that toasty, invigorating flavor he’d gotten from Blue earlier, strong anger and agitation. He needed to get out of here and lose blue before he caused an even bigger scene.
“Hey, be careful!” A pony cried out.
“Ahh! Sorry!” Zach narrowly avoided trampling a pony’s collection of memorabilia and kept himself on the move; he weaved around the numerous ponies and stalls to try and lose line of sight with Blue.
Much as this was a stroke of luck for him, though unfortunate for Applejack, he wasn’t yet in the clear.
Zach had reached the limits of the market and elected to take a turn down one of the residential streets heading into another section of town. He spied an alley just up ahead, so he took a glance behind him to make sure Blue hadn’t yet come down the street after him. Seeing as he was in the clear, Zach took a sharp turn down the alley between the houses and broke into a full gallop.
‘Okay, I should be clear now, I’m going to be long gone by the time he comes looking down here. Assuming he even does.’
Nearing the end of the alley, he glanced back just to make sure Blue wasn’t still following him; luckily that seemed to be the case. Just as he turned his head to face his front, he saw, too late, the pale white coat of a mare that had just walked in front of the alley exit point.
Zach ran right into her, sending them both tumbling to the ground and a pair of sunshades went flying.
He and the mare both grunted and groaned heavily in pain as they lay there sprawled out on the ground.
“What in the hay my dude!?” the mare cried out as she picked herself up off the ground. “You late for a flank-call or something?”
Zach picked himself up off the ground and quickly blurted out his apologies. “Jeez, I’m sorry; I didn’t see you there! I was trying to get away from-…”
“Yeah, no kidding, idiot! Celestia’s sunny buns, you almost knocked the wind outta me!”
Now that he had a good look at her, he remembered this one. She was a unicorn with a spikey two-tone bluish mane and tail. He couldn’t remember her name, or if she even had a name, but he recognized her colors; this was the DJ pony.
Zach looked down the alley way he’d just emerged from and was relieved to not see Blue bounding down it after him. He stepped away from it and off to the side, just in case. ‘Looks like I lost him… I just hope-’
His thoughts were interrupted when the mare blurted out: “Shoot, where are my shades?”
“Your what?” Zach asked.
“My sunshades!” She repeated, “Hey, dude, can you like lend a hoof here? Kinda need my shades and your dumb self ran right into me.”
Zach gave one last glance down the alley and then turned his attention fully to the mare. He noticed that she was holding her foreleg over her eyes as if to shield them from the sun. ‘Well, Blue isn’t going to just immediately come bounding down that specific alley, so, I might as well lend her a hand.’ He exhaled and said, “Sure, just give me a second.”
The air was saturated with anger, but it had a different smell to it this time like there was another emotion in the mix he couldn’t put his finger on. ‘Yes, bug mind, I am aware she’s angry; Thanks.’
He looked around and spied the mare’s sunglasses stuck part way into some bushes. Using his kinesis, he carefully maneuvered his magic into the bush and pulled them out. The suddenness of all this and his adrenaline all had a noticeable effect on his ability to focus with magic, his telekinesis wound up dragging several leaves and a piece of a branch out along with the glasses.
Without hesitation, he handed the sunglasses over to the pony, “Here, sorry for the leaves, I’m uh… out of practice.”
“Whatever dude.” The mare spoke harshly as she deftly took the glasses out of his grasp. She slid them into place before she said anything else. “Damn, you are so lucky you didn’t break these. I’d have been mad as Tartarus with a side of-…” She trailed off as Zach assumed she got a good look at him.
“Whoa, what’s with the crazy getup dude?” She asked with an amused tone and a smile that gradually came into being. The anger was mitigated with a mixture of something else thrown into the mix; something strange, yet pleasant. The mare snorted a laugh and said, “What, are they planning a ninja rave at the thrift store I don’t know about?”
Zach stared and blinked, unsure how exactly to respond to that.
“You have a name, dude?” The mare raised an eyebrow from under her shades.
‘I need to get out of here before Blue comes looking. I’ll make this quick.’ Zach lightly shrugged and said, “I’m Käfer, I’m really sorry for running into you.”
The anger in the air thinned a bit more, but it was still noticeable.
She stuck out a hoof towards Zach and said, “Name’s Vinyl Scratch, I’m the town’s music provider for all the ponies with good taste in audio entertainment.”
‘Oh, so that was her name.’
“Uh…” Zach hesitated, looking at the mare’s outstretched hoof.
“Okay, so you’re not a fan of hoofshakes, I can dig it.” Vinyl retracted her hoof; It was difficult to really gauge her facial expressions with her sunglasses covering her eyes, but the flavors on the air told Zach plenty.
“Sorry, personal thing.”
“Riiiight. So, you wanna tell me what’s got a fire lit under your flank?” Vinyl asked expectantly. “The least you can do after barreling into me like Pinkie through a crowd on Cider-day is to give me an explanation.”
“Like I said, I’m really sorry about that; I was trying to avoid this stallion who started chasing me…-” Zach chanced a peek back down the alleyway and was relieved to see it was still empty, save for a cat. “…speaking of, I need to get a move on and get out of here before he finds me again.”
Vinyl stepped over to the alley and took a look for herself. “Well, nopony’s there now, so how about you chill out.” She turned to face him and asked, “Who was it that was chasing you; was it somepony I know?”
Zach sighed in defeat and said, “I don’t know their name; he’s a blue earth pony. I call him Blue, I haven’t even had a conversation with the guy. He keeps stalking me and now he’s started chasing me.”
“Wait, a blue earth pony? And he was stalking you?”
Zach nodded, “The guy wants to ask me questions or something I guess; I’m really not interested in finding out what he actually wants.” He then glanced around the immediate area just to be sure he was still in the clear. “I think I heard Applejack call him Lucky, if that helps.”
“Oh no kidding; I think that was Lucky Day, that has to be him.” She now had a look that seemed to carry annoyance with it, and the flavor wafting on the air confirmed her irritation. “So let me see if I’m getting this right… Lucky Day is doing his usual horseapples, with you as his latest target, and that’s the reason why you came galloping down that alleyway and almost broke my favorite shades?”
“That sounds about right I guess.” Zach replied with a bit of shame in his tone. “Sorry about the shades.”
“Hey no sweat; but trust me, nopony else in this town behaves like that nutjob.” Vinyl asserted.
“If you say so.” He took a look down the street the two of them were one and said, “Listen, I really do need to go before-”
The mare interrupted him with a laugh, “Oh please, I hope that blue moron shows up looking for you. I’ll give him what he’s had coming to his sorry flank for a while now! I am beyond sick of his antics.”
Zach furrowed his brow in an expression that conveyed his questions visually.
She went on to explain, “Okay, so like, long story short: you aren’t the only pony who gets trouble from Lucky Day. That paranoid bag of mixed nuts gets on my case too. Pretty much anyone remotely ‘unusual’ gets trouble from him; he is a professional pain in the flank with it sometimes.” There was a brief pause before she corrected herself, “Most of the time.”
Zach ventured the question, “Is he dangerous?”
Vinyl shook her head and smiled, “Nah, not that I know of. Lucky is like, super annoying, and his favorite hobby seems to be stirring up trouble with random ponies for dumb reasons that don’t make any sense. He’s as dangerous as a pool noodle, as far as I can tell; that dumb buck is all bark and no bite.”
“That’s good to know at least.” Hearing all this, he allowed himself to ease away from the worry of Blue following him. It was actually reassuring to know that he wasn't the only one Blue had been giving trouble.
“So, you didn’t explain…” Vinyl aimed a hoof and waved it in Zach’s direction, “...all of whatever this is. If there really is a sick ninja rave in town, I want to know about it. I figure they’d have sent me an invite, but Derpy sometimes gets the mail mixed up between me and Tavi.” She seemed to be only half-joking.
“Do I really look that much like a ninja?” Zach asked partly out of curiosity.
The mare gave a light laugh, “Pfft, yeah dude; did you not look in a mirror before you stepped outside? Your whole getup screams ‘Watashi wa anata ni dātsu o nageru tsumoridesu!’ except mixed in with a note of broke (and possibly homeless) buck.”
Zach stared at the DJ pony for a good moment before he started to ask, “Did you just-…”
Vinyl interrupted him with a wave of the hoof and said, “Before you ask, no I have no idea what any of that meant. It’s something I gathered from a buddy of mine; huge nerd. I’m talking ‘full shelf of Ogres and Oubliettes figurines’ level nerdy.”
“Oooookay?” Zach said, unconvinced. “Uh, anyway; it was nice meeting you Vinyl, I’m sorry I ran into you.”
“Sure, likewise dude; Meeting you I mean.” Vinyl said with a nod. “Sorry for almost blowing up on ya, you seem like an alright dude even if you have terrible taste in fashion. Watch out for Rarity, she’ll have a field day with you walking around like that, probably scream something about crimes against fashion or some crap.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, anyway, I should get back to wandering around town; and trying to avoid blue.”
“Lucky Day.” She corrected. “Remember, he’s annoying, but he’s harmless. Try not to let him get you worked up, and try not to go running into anypony else.”
“Right.”
With that Zach cast one more glance down the alleyway and set his hooves to the street.
As he was leaving, Vinyl said, “I’ll be seeing you around, Beetle.”
He stopped and looked back only for Vinyl to have already been rounding a house corner.
‘She knows German? Oh wait, not German here, Griffonian. I bet she knew what that Japanese phrase meant too. I wonder what the Japanese equivalent is here?’ Zach contemplated. ‘Welp, now another pony knows me. I’m starting to think I might have had the wrong idea to try and avoid socializing with these ponies. So far its actually been turning out a lot better than I was expecting; here’s hoping this disguise keeps holding up.’
He brought his attention back to the street and started walking, with no idea where he was now or where he was going. To be fair, he hadn’t had any idea where he was going to begin with, but still. ‘I wish I could’ve gotten that map back at the market, but that dumb blue idiot ruined that plan. Can’t go back now, not on my own, I'd rather he not see me and start harassing me again. Getting a map is still on the list, but I’ll have to get one later.’
He walked aimlessly for several minutes, grateful that he at least avoided Blue- or rather Lucky Day as the DJ pony had informed him. Zach blinked and looked to the now non-existent apple he once held in his magical grasp. ‘What the heck? Oh crap, where’d it go? I don’t remember letting go of it, but… then again I went and grabbed Vinyl’s sunglasses and I wasn’t holding it then.’ He looked around for a brief moment for his apple, but it was expectedly nowhere to be found. ‘I must have dropped it while Lucky was chasing me; Dang it! I never got to finish my apple!’ He was disappointed, but wrote it off. ‘Stupid Blue jerkwad… that apple was really good. At least I got to eat half of it… that, and I have two more in my bag; I think I’ll save those for later.’
“Käfer! Hi!”
The warm and joyful voice of Derpy Hooves rang pleasantly in his ears. Hearing her voice brought with it a refreshing dose of relief. ‘And my goofy-eyed hero returns.’
“I finished my deliveries for the day!” Derpy trotted right up to him and, before he could stop her, gave him a hug. “I thought I was going to be at work a lot longer, but my boss said I could leave work early since it’s a holiday! Isn’t that great?”
“Derpy? Derpy… please stop.” He spoke quickly, narrowly avoiding saying the things his reactive disposition to physical contact wanted him to say.
“Oh, sorry; Sorry!” Derpy quickly released him and gave him his space.
Zach brushed a hoof over his front and forced a chuckle, “Hey, I’m happy to see you too.” He didn’t want to let the contact bother him so much, seeing as he was grateful to see her again so soon. The minor discomfort of being hugged was a mere annoyance by comparison. “This is going to be something we’re both going to have to get used to, huh?”
Derpy rubbed the back of her head with her wing, smiling and giving off a scent that registered in zach’s mind as self-consciousness, “I’m really sorry I keep forgetting… you’re the first pony, or, well, you know; you’re the first friend I’ve met who doesn’t like being hugged.”
“Do you hug everyone, or just your friends?”
He asked it as a light joke, but Derpy took it for a serious question and ended up answering it honestly.
“Just my friends. I keep forgetting you have a phobia, I’m sorry.” She said with a strong air of remorse to her tone.
Zach lightly held his hoof to the bridge of his snout, “Derpy, it’s not a phobia.” He paused, noting that the air was gradually having more of an unpleasant emotion’s taste to it, “Look, it’s not a huge deal, so don’t beat yourself up about it, ok? I get that you’re just happy to see me, and I’m pretty happy to see you too. Let’s just forget about it, ok?”
Derpy nodded and offered an apologetic smile, “I’m trying to remember, I know I’ll get it eventually.”
“Hey, If you don’t, it’s not the end of the world, alright?”
“Okay, if you’re sure.” She said with audible uncertainty.
Zach glanced down the street and gestured to Derpy as he changed the subject, “Derpy, do you want to show me around town, or maybe help me get a map? I’ve got no idea where I am right now, and I was kind of just wandering for the most part.”
“Sure!” The mare’s expression brightened considerably, and she looked as happy to help as she sounded. “I could get you a compass too if you want.”
Zach shook his head, “A compass won’t be necessary, just a map, please and thanks.”
“Okay, well then let’s go and get you a map; then I can show you around Ponyville!”
Zach nodded, “Sounds good to me, lead the way.”
Derpy turned and had only taken a single step before she stopped as quickly as she started and turned to eye a pony just out of Zach’s field of view.
The sentence she next uttered sent a cold, sharp shiver of existential dread down his spine.
“Oh, hi Pinkie Pie!”
Zach’s eyes widened to an extent he didn’t think possible as he slowly turned to look upon his impending doom.
There was no mistaking the iconic poofy pink mane; had Derpy not said her name, that alone would have made it abundantly clear who it was that stood before him. His heart couldn’t decide whether it wanted to sink to his hooves, stop in place and cease moving, or rocket out of his chest at warp nine.
The Pink pony grinned a smile that stretched ear to ear and said in a jovial tone, “Derpy! How’s my favoritest mailpony in the whole entire world? Did you like the lemon surprise muffins I sent you the other night?”
“I sure did!” Derpy responded. “They were delicious!”
Pinkie clapped her hooves together excitedly and said, “I made them extra, extra special, just for you! I’m so glad you liked them!” With, that, the mare turned her attention to Zach.
“Hi there! Did- wait… waaaait…” Pinkie pie stopped as soon as she’d started and scrunch up her face in a variety of contortions of thought. “Have we met before? I don’t think I recognize you, but I also don’t have my usual jumpy wiggle surprise new friend pinkie sense going all a gackle! What’s a gackle? Is that a made-up word? I think that’s a made-up word, but I left my dictionary at home today. Would you happen to have a dictionary on you, Mr.Ninjapony-I-think-I’ve-never-met-but-might-have-met-at-some-point-before?”
‘Oh no, nonono, this is bad, really bad; Not the pink one, she’s going to blow my cover for sure with her crazy reality bending shenanigans!’ Zach blurted out in his mind, “Why her, why now?’
Derpy eyed back and forth between Zach and Pinkie, “Maybe you met earlier, and you just forgot?”
“Mmmmmaybe,” the mare said with a hoof to her chin, “but I’m pretty sure we’ve never met, super-duper sure even! It’s like new friend déjà vu! Wow, this sure is funny; but not in the funny ‘haha’ kind of way.” Said the Pink One.
Zach held his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything stupid, and his ears were pressed firmly against his head as if his changeling brain comprehended the horrors his human mind knew. ‘I’ve got to get out of here; this is very bad for me, I need to pull an excuse out of somewhere to get me away from this pink demon.’ Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if trying to get away from her would even work, assuming Pinkie’s reputation and abilities matched that of the show. As of this moment, he had no reason to doubt that frightening possibility.
“See, its more the funny ‘weird’ kind of funny;” Pinkie continued, eyes wandering around Zach’s general vicinity with a bemused expression, “Like when you go to make a pecan pie and someone’s already used all the pecans, which is funny-weird because you’re the one who usually bakes the pies, and you’d know if you were out of pecans.”
Derpy tried to get a word in, “Pinkie? I don’t think-…”
But Pinkie continued talking. “Although, I guess it could also be kind of ‘haha’ funny too. Here I am, meeting someone new and my pinkie sense isn’t doing its thing? That’s pretty funny!” She let out a giggle and then went on without missing a beat, “My pinkie sense always works! Well, except for when it doesn’t, but it’s funny haha and weird too that it picks now to suddenly stop working.”
Derpy and Zach both watched the pink mare with a shared confusion and blinked at the same time.
“As if I wouldn’t recognize someone I’ve never met before, pff!” She stopped and grinned with excitement, “Ooh! Ooh! Is my pinkie sense pranking me? That would be super cool! Maybe not like a caramel fudge and cotton candy sundae cool, but that’s more of a delicious than cool…”
The pink one paused long enough to stop and laugh, Derpy and Zach looked to one another.
Zach quickly turned to leave, and Derpy followed his example if only to stay by his side.
Just as they had taken a single step, pinkie suddenly appeared in front of them in the blink of an eye; the mare blocked their path before they could lift their next hoof in the new direction.
‘Really should have seen that one coming, Zach.’
“Ha! Analogies amiright? Heehee, analogies, that’s such a funny word; but is it more of a ‘weird’ or a ‘haha’ funny? I’ll leave that for the dictionary ponies to figure out.” She reached out and grabbed one of Zach’s forehooves and began shaking it before he could stop her.
“HI! I’m pinkie pie and I-” She released his hoof and reached into her mane, grabbing a wad of something from her mane and then throwing it into the air as she shouted, “-want to welcome You to Ponyville!” Confetti, glitter and some decorative streamers all rained down around her as she stood there with her arms outstretched.
“Thanks?” Was All Zach could muster in the moment.
“Oh you’re most definitely welcome my newest Ponyville friend! Truth be told though, I’m kind of a saddy-waddy pinkie right now. You see, ordinarily I’d throw you an amazing welcome-to-Ponyville party and use that as my special welcome just for you; buuuuuuut, I’m already in the middle of setting one up for another super special guest that I just met earlier!”
Pinkie lightly frowned, but then bound back with a smile as seemingly the next idea popped into her head, “Oh, OH! I know! I’m just going to have to make it bigger and partier-er to accommodate the both of you then! Double the party for double the party ponies! We can double the fun too! Pecan pies for everypony!”
She stopped abruptly in her cheery demeanor and took up a more serious note, “Wait, scratch that, we’re out of pecans… also, I think one of the attendees is allergic to pecans.” Pinkie shrugged and continued without so much as taking a breath, “Oh well, no pecan pies for anyone; though I guess that’s something to celebrate too if you don’t like pecans.”
Just as Zach was about to open his mouth to try and get a word in, Pinkie immediately started speaking again.
“Ahem, anyway, weird tangents about the woes of supply & demand and the plight of nut allergies aside, you are both invited to my super-special-amazing welcome to Ponyville party that I am throwing just for you my newest Ponyville friend! Well not just for you, but still for you all the same; you and the nice purple unicorn I met earlier! What was her name again? Her and her little dragon?”
Pinkie paused and scratched her chin with a thoughtfulness in her expression, “Hmm, I never got her name, that’s weird… uh-oh, did I jump the party-poppers again and gallop off to start party-planning before I properly introduced myself?” She clapped a hoof to her forehead and snorted with a smile, “Oh for crying out loud, you did, you silly, silly filly, Pinkie!”
She hopped and turned in midair, “I’ve gotta gallop! Can’t throw a party if you don’t even know the name of the special party pony!” And before either Zach or Derpy could say or do anything, she was off like a rocket, debris plume left in her wake and all.
Both Zach and Derpy stared at the cloud of dust and dirt that still somehow held the shape of the pink one for a few seconds. Eventually they turned and looked to one another in trying to comprehend what had just happened.
‘And just like that I’m back to not being able to decide if this is an alternate reality or a crazy fever dream. Thanks Pinkie.’
“Is she normally like that?” Zach eventually asked. He had fully expected Pinkie Pie to be over the top, and yet he was still surprised by her behavior.
Derpy slowly cracked a nervous smile and a laugh of equal demeanor, “Hehehe… yeah, Pinkie does that when she meets new ponies.” Derpy rubbed a hoof on the back of her neck, “She’s a nice pony, really, even though she makes my head hurt trying to keep up with the things she says.”
“You know what, I believe you,” Zach said with a nod, “How about we go get that map now, before anyone else decides to run up and say hi?”
“Oh, right, sure!” Derpy said with an eagerness in her tone and hoofsteps. “Right this way!”
Zach followed without hesitation. “You know, I’m glad that I wasn’t the only one who had a hard time keeping up with her.”
Derpy lightly gasped and had a look of mild disbelief as she said, “You found it hard to keep up with her too?! It isn’t just me?”
“Of course, she’s like the pony equivalent of a hamster on one of those ultra-energy drinks.”
Derpy moved her hoof to her mouth and snorted a giggle; she was radiating an emotion that lit upon Zach’s tongue and left a smooth, pleasant sweetness on his bugified tastebuds.
Zach lightly smacked his lips and hummed to himself. ‘mmhmm, yep, still makes me incredibly uncomfortable that this is a thing. I wonder what kind of emotion that one was? Gratitude maybe? Hey, bug mind, can you switch this stupid thing off already?’
Suddenly he was gripped with a looming sense of dread as a terrible, horrible, terrifying thought crossed through his mind. “Oh craaaap… she never got my name!”
“What happened?” Derpy looked back at him.
“She didn’t get my name,” Zach reiterated, “she never got Twilight’s name and she ran off to go looking for her, which means afterwards she’s going to come back looking for me too!” He moaned aloud in dismay.
Derpy stopped for a moment to give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. She was about to say something to go with the shoulder pat, only to recoil in realization and offer an apology.
“Don’t worry about it.” Zach gently brushed it off, then went on to continue his train of thought. “I was hoping I could avoid her, but it wasn’t like I could reasonably expect to never encounter her. I wish I’d have had more time to establish whether I could ditch the outfit in favor of a presentable appearance before I ran into her.”
After a minute passed in an uneasy silence, the two of them continued heading towards the market. Derpy offered a suggestion as they walked, “You know, you don’t have to go to her party if you’re uncomfortable going. I’d like to attend, but you don’t have to.”
Zach considered it, “I could do that, but something tells me that wouldn’t go over well with the pink one, and it would just cause me more problems in the long run. That being said, if I do go, then I’m going to be surrounded by ponies with all their eyes on me. Either way, I’m going to have trouble.”
“Well, it’s a Pinkie Pie party; the guests will probably be too busy having fun and enjoying themselves.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Everyone is friends at a pinkie party!”
“That’s fair, I guess; maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’m still worried.”, Zach briefly paused to ensure no one was near enough to overhear the things he wanted to say, then he spoke in a quiet tone just to be safe. “The way I see it, if I go and attend this big social gathering with a bunch of ponies all socializing together with the intent of welcoming me to town, sooner or later I’m going to be found out. I’m worried they will eventually see through my disguise and realize I’m a bug monster.”
“I don’t think so; your disguise worked so far, and you’ve been wandering around town, right?” Derpy replied. “Why wouldn’t it continue to work?”
“That’s true;” Zach conceded that point, then went on to argue, “However, it’s one thing to walk around town and not have an issue, but I’m going to be at this party with a lot of ponies deliberately interacting with me. I’m just worried about the inevitability of it not working; especially at this party where I’m going to be part of the center of attention.”
Derpy thought about it for a moment before offering her reply, “Well, maaaaybe they’ll get to know you before the disguise stops working? If you talk to ponies at the party and they get to know you like I did, they’ll see that you’re actually a good pony; and then they won’t mind what you look like if they find out!”
“I wish I shared your optimism,” Zach started, then proceeded to explain while keeping his voice down, “but the reality is: I’m a bug monster, and that’s the only thing ponies are going to care about if this disguise fails.”
Derpy frowned at that and pointed out, “That’s not what I thought when I first met you. I saw you without a disguise and I didn’t think you were a monster.”
Zach wasn’t sure how to respond to that, as it sent a pang of guilt through him. All he felt he could respond with was, “…Yeah, that’s true, and I’m very thankful for that.”
“You’re welcome!” The mare’s expression lightened, and then gradually shifted into one that was more contemplative. “Heyyyy, what if we get you a new disguise?”
“A new disguise?” Zach asked with doubt in his tone, “What kind of disguise are we talking about?”
Derpy lightly flared her wings for a brief moment in her excitement, “You could wear a fancy suit for the party! It would keep you covered up, but you’d also look more sociable!”
Zach briefly mulled over the suggestion; it wasn’t a bad idea, though it had its obvious flaws. “Okay, say we get this new disguise; What about my face?”
Derpy gestured a hoof to Zach’s head with a light smile, “Well… I was thinking I could get you one of those mystery masks to go with the suit! You know, the ones that they wear at those fancy dances? One of those.”
Zach had his doubts, but it was better than anything he could think of at that moment, at least anything immediately available to him. “Alright, but do you have the money to afford a suit? I don’t want you breaking your bank on me, you’ve already done a lot.”
Derpy waved her wing dismissively. “Don’t worry, I have a spare suit you can have! It’s been sitting in my closet for a while, so it might be dusty… but it should fit you.”
Zach tilted his head to the side with a curious glance, “You just happen to have a suit stashed away in your closet?”
“I do; its not mine, well it is, see... it belonged to somepony else. They didn’t want it anymore, so they let me have it.”
The air had a particularly unusual flavor to it; it wasn’t very strong, but it was definitely there and a feeling in his bugmind told Zach that what Derpy had told him about the suit wasn’t the full truth. He decided against pursuing it, as he had more important things to worry about.
He imagined the suit, trying to visualize what he might look like in such an outfit. “Oh, another thing, I’m going to need a hat or a wig or something if I’m not going to have a hood. Gotta keep my weird dorsal fin and bug ears covered, right?”
“That should be easy, I can grab you a wig and a hat on the way to the party!” Derpy paused for a moment and then asked, “Um… wait, where is the party going to take place again?”
Zach quickly answered, “It’s going to be at the Golden Oaks.”
The mare blinked and asked with a hint of doubt, “Oh, are you sure?”
Zach nodded, “Yep, it’s supposed to go down later today. I’m not exactly sure of what time, but I know that’s where it’s going to be.”
Derpy narrowed her eyes and lightly scrunched her face in a quizzical manner. “Huh, I don’t remember Pinkie mentioning where the party was going to take place.”
“Didn’t she?” He started, and then realized that Pinkie did not tell them this information. He quickly offered up an explanation off the top of his head, “Well, Twilight is going to be the main one that the party’s for, right? She’s staying at the Golden Oaks, so it’d make sense to have the party there, right?”
“She is?” Derpy slowly turned her head to the side, “Did I miss that part too?”
Zach mentally facepalmed, realizing that Pinkie hadn’t said any of this either. He was going off of what he remembered from the show, ‘You know, I used to give those folks in isekai stories a lot of grief for not adjusting to their situation, making dumb mistakes like this and sticking out like a sore thumb; but now I’m starting to see how hard this actually is in practice.’
“Oh, I guess you missed that part then,” Zach reluctantly lied, then quickly added, “though to be fair, I almost missed it myself. I’d be surprised if anyone in town can keep up with half of what she says.”
Derpy gave a soft giggle, “Yeeeah; she is a nice pony though, so nopony really minds.”
“Fair enough.” Zach nodded.
The pegasus gestured with a hoof and said, “Come on, let’s get you that suit!”
“I’d prefer we grab the map first, if that’s okay.” Zach insisted.
“Oh, yeah that! Let’s do that first; then we go back to my place for the suit.”
Alternate chapter titles: "Pinkie Pie is in this one", "A Day Late and a Gold Bit Short"
Welp, here it is, finally, the fic is back to actually being worked on with tangible progress in mind and not obsessively contemplated, rewritten, and re-edited over and over and over again in a perpetual limbo of never being progressed or finished.
I'm still not satisfied with this chapter, but I don't think I ever will be. Ahh, the woes of toxic perfectionism.
its been a year, a whole year, since my last upload and good lord am I sorry about that.
To spare you the long details about how things have been:
>Things were not going good for me
>Analyzed why things weren't going good
>Changed things so they would start going good
>Things started going good
anyway, this chapter. What can I say about this chapter...
I'm opening up the worldspace a bit more, flushing out more elements of the town, introducing more of the characters from the show as I am obligated to do, albeit in a way that makes sense to the protagonist.
We now have a name for the Blue stalkerpony, "Lucky Day".
Vinyl makes an appearance and I had some fun with writing for her, basing her off of some of my favorite interpretations of her character. I edited this sequence more times than I care to admit, made her less of a jerk than the original version I made of this sequence.
The pink one finally makes their appearance, and holy cow was she fun to write for; I think I like writing for this character more than I actually like the character themselves, and that's by a large margin. I put a lot of thought into how I wanted this story's pinkie pie to be, I've seen plenty of instances where they take her fourth wall breaking to the extreme, and I've seen some iterations where she's written as being completely insane or worse annoying. With this iteration, I'm hoping to strike something as a balanced take of her with what I liked about the different iterations I've seen and the show's counterpart: an extroverted talkative "thinking out loud" person with a dozen different things on their mind at once. Someone fun and funny, a bit wacky, probably annoying but doesn't overstay their welcome... and very very fun to write.
Applejack was pretty basic in contrast, but fitting seeing as there wasn't much interaction to be had outside her doing what she does best, cultivating and selling apples and apple products. In the show she didn't really have any drive or goals to strive for, I might change that in future chapters, or I might not, we'll have to see. IMO, applejack didn't really need goals to reach for with that character, but that left her feeling as a support character in a lot of ways. Hmm, what do you all think?
likewise with the chapters involving Twilight Sparkle, I'm trying to preserve the core of these characters and what was likeable about them as I write them; I don't want to deviate too far of what would be believable behavior for them, and I'm hoping I've succeeded in doing so with Applepony and Pinkie Pie.
Speaking of character introductions, some of you may have noticed I'm going for a pattern here...
...or maybe I'm not and its purely a coincidence! 
At any rate, again, I'm sorry this damn chapter took so long, and my stubborn obsessive self kept this thing in the throes of development heck for a full year.
the consolation here is that I fixed my mindset and I'm not going to let myself get to that point anymore.
Next chapter will not take a damn year to finish, I promise you that.
Anyway...
That's all for now, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed what you read this chapter and I'll see you next time.
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What could be entertaining is if his constant disguise wearing holds up so long that I becomes normal to ponyville. Like a “oh everyone has their quirks, Mr. Beetle just enjoys dressing up” kinda way.
Regardless this was a fun chapter.
Another update
Looking forward reading or rather text to speech it later
Doing great, pal.
Hey as long as the Doctor doesn't expect his suit back we'll be fine, right?..... Right?!?
We feel he really should practice emotivoring. Controlled, of course, so it becomes easier to control, but ignoring and wishing it away won't work, especially as his nutrition starts to wane...
Vinyl is albino, confirmed! This might be important for later...
Wait, has he tried to utilize the bathroom yet? Out of the blue, we know.
"Mage Hand" actually
"airship"?...interesting
Looking forward for this and this story never disappoints!
Really fun.
if you'd like to borrow an OC, let me know via PM.
11370976
You know what they say, "Everypony in this town is CRAZY!" and that means everypony.
11371136
Eyyy! I was hoping someone would get the reference.
funnily enough, as much as Mage Hand is super useful on paper, I have yet to actually find myself in a situation where I actually need to use it.
also, yes, "airships"
MLP has airships, lots of em, and I am a sucker for the schizo-tech goodness
11370976
Hey now, that'd be a funny idea!
might do a one-shot exploring that funny "what-if"
11371572
I appreciate the offer my friend, but I have more than plenty of characters in my roster.
11371074
thank you kindly
11371100
I love how people are already theorizing about the details I put in for the attentive, makes me feel happy.
Our protagonist is going to learn things the hard way, or maybe he'll be smarter about it, only time will tell.
As for the bathroom thing, he has used the bathroom without issue; I didn't go into any detail as it was one of those things that really didn't need elaboration. The implications you can gain from his feeding and bodily needs, plus any future explanations of changeling biology should be enough, I think. Alternatively, you can use your imagination.
I will go further into detail on changeling biology as the story continues; questions like this might not be directly answered, but I'll provide enough info that you can safely draw your own conclusions.
11371211
I'm very happy to hear that
What was the intended translation of this?
I keep getting something like "I'm going to give[throw] you [something] (2 darts) " idiomatic maybe??
11372008
it was only supposed to be a loose translation of a sentence strictly for the fun of it
what she says is (roughly) something along the lines of: "I'm going to throw darts at you"
11371848
I know two stories (both unfinished) that make Twilight even worse.
One story where Twilight become a Queen with multible sequels. Great read and mostly ignoring Main Story for being extra awesome creating a own story.
11371678
<.<
>.>
>///_///< Yes
11370346
👍
Clever pun
11370348
Making Bat-pone friends
camo.fimfiction.net/HGKOVNTrPh_dQIegq-4XQTTfq37sBPSPcGN3_7ZAMFg?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2014%2F7%2F10%2F671941.gif
11370361
At least there can be done a lot to improve
Oughta throw Kevin in at some point for a laugh
11372061
>Thank you, I spent all night on it
>Donchu worry, unlike the show, batponys won't be making only a single cameo and vanishing into the night forever afterwards
>The one thing we can give our protagonist credit for, I think, is that he's open to improving (albeit slowly)
Good chapter, much enjoyed. Also Pinkie the mad god
11373361
Heck yeah, I'm always so happy whenever someone recognizes what I'm referencing!
11371939
Maybe for another story?
11373560
I'll keep the offer in mind, sure.
I can't quite put my finger on it but there's something just so genuine about this story that always makes it such a pleasure to read.
Great chapter. So Käfer will pull a Phantom of the Opera with a mix of Bond - James Bond, Mare magnet supreme.
I wonder if Rainbow Dash would question Käfer being a spy? :3
11381292
that's a possibility isn't it?
11379690
I never would have thought of it this way had you not mentioned it, and now I can't stop imagining Kafer trying to order a martini with bugvoice
11383914
indoodles. :3 and I can't wait to see the look on their faces when he reveals that he's a changeling. :3
I wonder if the next chapter is ready
Happy I found this! Into my library you go!
hope more comes soon
sorry bad inglish
11553760
no worries, more will be coming soon, I'm hard at work trying to finish chapter ten and get started with 11
This is a very fun story!
Moar plez!!! 
11664571
I'm working on it, life has been a roller coaster of constant interruptions, adversities and time sinks lately.
11665130
He seems like the only one with any inkling about what a changeling is. His cover may be that of the quirky “that guy” who’s weird but harmless, so it’s okay to talk to him but best for ponies to keep from getting too close emotionally.
If an infiltrator were so stationed, and a “poorly” disguised, un-aligned, hiveless / rogue changeling were to cross paths during their active operation, then I would think Lucky to act rather similarly towards such a someone. The flavor of anger or hate MC picks up later helps me think this: an infiltrator would be angry if his cover was risked but even angrier if his species’ existence were prematurely leaked by an unknown variable of the same kind as him.
Evidence against this idea is that Lucky has only tried to make contact with MC in broad daylight and hasn’t tried to covertly follow him to Derpy’s place for a confrontation / conversation… yet… As far as we know, Lucky doesn’t currently know that MC doesn’t know magic, flight, or changeling disguises and may be overly cautious because of MC’s indefinitely audacious use of “disguise” which somehow successfully got him accepted by a pony and into her home.
That’s the impression I’m getting from his vibes, anyway.
11665128
No worries there. It’s a good story with a great foundation. I’ll gladly wait.
11665175
i agree
11673485
11665175
Thank you, its the stuff like this that drives me to keep going despite everything
i am not good in inglish (escribir ingles es dificil) but y love this history and how is progrecin so i don care how much time i wait as long as i am alive y goin to read next chapter, no presure y love this. take your time. (joder escribir en ingles es dificil)
Forgot I had this in Tracked for quite the long time. Finally gotten through to reading the chapter just now, good stuff.
Oh well, time to eventually forget about it again until next time this updates.
is there any progress in writing?
11743238
its been slow due to lack of time I have to do things, but, yes. I've been making solid progress.
I'm at 9k now
*make that 9.3k
I'm gonna shoot for trying to wrap this up and have it out by either monday or tuesday
How are you, dude? Is it written at least somehow? Or are things not going well?
11761313
things are alright, just haven't been using my time as effectively as I should.
I'm at 10k
I just need to find the time to put in one final hour worth of solid work and it should be done
its like 1k away, if that, I'm just so tired all the time from work.
10 hour straight overnight shifts are incredibly draining.
This is grest! Looking forward to the next chapter