• Member Since 5th May, 2019
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

SwirledEyez


T

It was a well-known and established fact that all Ponies have a special talent, a unique and intrinsic calling that they will discover in time. For Idol Hooves, Unicorn Royal Guard, this was no different, no different at all. For he was a perfectly ordinary, normal and unsuspicious in the least Pony. Certainly it wasn't as if he was a Changeling in disguise, oh no, that would be ridiculous!
Despite his name Idol had always had a talent with his hooves, a way with them. He'd most utilized this in the art of pottery but at the prompting of others he tries to apply those same skilled hooves to the art of the massage. Surely nothing strange could come of that?


A short bit of fanfiction I made on the Changeling of the Guard Discord and then was told should publish. Please remeber to check the actual story that inspired this: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/174129/the-changeling-of-the-guard

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 81 )

Goddammit Idol.

Idol is my idol. Love that guy!

The Greatest infiltrator ever!

... I bet if someone asked Idol about this, he would inevitably comment about how loud their moans were. It seems like something he would do.

excellent work

9663901
There should be an entire comedy series about Idol in ridiculous situations somehow always managing to succeed and then it ends with like Shining Armor or Topaz or someone going; "Goddammit Idol!" :pinkiehappy:

9663978
Just remember Idol Hooves does not have a herd!

9664045
If only Chrysalis realized the powerful weapon she banished! :pinkiecrazy:

9664048
He has a knack for saying the most suggesitve, implicative and innuendo-laden things without meaning too at all, yes!

Congratulations, you are now featured.

This is... questionably sexual.

Not that that's a bad thing, especially concerning poor, oblivious Idol.

Idol is such a sunshine child. Innocent, good natured, daft as a brush.

"Very well, I believe I now have an accurate awareness of your anatomy," Idol’s voice cut through Topaz’s thoughts like butter, freezing her up as she heard the next words almost in slow motion; "Now I can begin the massage!"

Words that warn of unavoidable doom. Not because it's impossible to avoid, but because no sane pony wants to avoid it.

I can't help but imagine Cadance ordering Idol to teach Shining how to massage like that. The two are practically joined at the hip in the Guard, it would be a waste not to make use of that to get her future husband to learn a most desirable skill.

9664309
Thanks! I am surprised by that! This was really just an incredibly silly, dumb, thing I threw together. :pinkiegasp:

9664315
"Sexual? I do not understand, a massage has nothing to do with procreation, what sexual component could there possible be?" -Idol Hooves

9664329
And we love him for it!

9664375
Oh I could see that happening!

Nothing wrong with a little implicit lewdness if the comedy works. Congrats on the feature, you earned it.

Out of all the changeling characters out there in the world, none surpass the sunshine child of Idle.

This was great. Of all the fan made spin offs of idol hooves, this one feels the most like it actually came from the original.

This was hilarious and amazing. Every single part.
I just wish it went on forever. Idol Hooves takes over Equestria by turning every pony into pudding.

And so the Lengend of Idol Hooves, stud at large and lady slayer doth grow evermore in the tellings.

This very faithful to the original. You captured Idol character quite well. I could actually see this happen with Topaz and Cloud Chaser.

A nice side story to the verse. Good work.

"[Insert story character here], I am not sure that these massage techniques are as effective as I was led to believe. Every time I attempt to relieve your tension in one location, more arises elsewhere. Most specifically, there is a particular point deep within what I would call your lower thorax that almost seems to be collecting all the tension I relieve from the rest of your body. It's fairly counterproductive and rather disconcerting. I suspect I can affect it indirectly from without, using sympathetic neurologic reactions, but it may not be easy. Shall I make the attempt?"

"YES!"

"Very well."

[Censored!]

:rainbowwild:

9664427
Thanks!

9664505
Long may he reign! :rainbowwild:

9664517
That’s actually a really big compliment, thanks!

9664536
Haha well I am glad you liked it! It was fun to write! I don’t know if I really have any ideas on how to continue it per say but I’ll def continue to write random funny nonsense about Idol in general!

9664554
Repeat after me: Idol Hooves does not have a herd! Idol Hooves is not going to seduce you! You are not going to enjoy it so much you end up a puddle of Pony on the ground :trollestia:

9664574
Thank you!

9664588
Now isn’t that an interesting idea? ‘Idol accidentally takes over Equestria’ :rainbowwild:

Hilarious!!

I kinda want to see what happens when one of the male guards works up the courage to have Idol massage them just to see what the female guards are going on about. "The girls are just messing with us. No pony is that skilled with their hooves."

Kusa #27 · 1 week ago · · ·

Sweet, Innocent, Legendary Idol.

Well i see his reputation is going to jump up from what happened here.

9664606

Now isn’t that an interesting idea? ‘Idol accidentally takes over Equestria’ :rainbowwild:

I think you and I have very different perspectives on what was transpiring in my little thought blurb that resulted from your story.

Shit like this is why I hope I can make Idol part of my own AU.

I can just see my OC taking in this whole thing and just laughing about it.

Umm not to be idle but...
was that last line what I thought it was?

The story was funny and Idol is hilarious etc. But holy run-on sentences, Batmare. I felt out of breath just reading some of these paragraphs.

Watching her Idol contemplated asking how a paper being ‘dry’ could be an issue, after all how would one read wet parchment, but decided to file that query away for another time, along with a what the precise meaning of the word ‘ugh’ was (he’d heard it used to often in Pony discourse, but the meaning seemed to be able to change wildly with context!) for now instead focusing on his landlady’s displeasure.

This takes up almost my entire phone screen, and it wasn't even the longest one in there.

Hey, your first story in your first month and you somehow managed to get to the top of the featured list!

Congratulations! :twilightsmile:

TDR

Bwwhahahahahaha

9664655
Thanks!

9664672
Maybe Bold? I think he’d be more up for it than Shiny

9664712
That’s our Idol!

9664883
Well this isn’t canon but, I imagine, this would lead to some, uh, interesting rumors if it were!

9664888
Ah! Sorry then!

9664934
Glad you liked it!

9665000
I can neither confirm or deny anything!

9665034
Sorry, I never said I was good, just threw this together,

9665063
Thanks, honestly I don’t get it, it’s a really dumb piece of work but oh well.

*Fanning self* oh dear, oh my, oh dear, oh my, Idol, Idol, you clueless guy.

This was gooood <3 Almost as good as one of Idol's massages XD

Idol was not asked if he agreed.

Idol does not get an opinion.

9665253
Awards in ignorance if there ever were any!

9665282
Thanks!

9665385
It's more fun that way!

I’m half imagining if Shining heard of the last bit he would torn between demanding satisfaction or lessons.

Haha holy crap that was amazing xD

we need a sequel where luna roped in

Neece #44 · 1 week ago · · ·

9665477
Considering how well Shinning knows Idol? Lessons followed by a request for Idol not to do it with anypony with a special somepony.

9665232

Ah! Sorry then!

No need to apologize; I was just taking this story to the next rating level. It was just... in less than exact terms, 'cause, y'know, no need to make this actually awkward in front of the kids. :twilightsheepish:

Okay, I snrked really really hard.

This is cannon. Regardless of what Vdrake says, it's cannon to me! :moustache:

9665538
Yesss this has to happen!

9665477
Oh! It definitely is satisfying! :trollestia:

9665678
Ah, I did suspect as much!

9666169
I mean it'd be really short to just throw in a bit about Luna :P

Also, if I'm honest, the thing is the joke does get a bit...samesy? Like in the actual bit I wrote the joke only really works cause it escalates; Topaz-Guards-Princesses so there's humour in that I feel. Just putting Luna in would be a bit short and repetitive for me. I'd need to have a bit more of a joke, or something juicier, to give it a try.

9666179
What if she never figures it out? Or every time she tries to get one something prevents it? Then it's her watching as everyone in the palace has a goofy grin on their face except her.

9666185
Hmm. Okay that's actually an interesting nugget of an idea! Play it as a sort of mystery, Luna noting 'strange behaviour' around her why is Cadance's crown skew? Celestia won't let me touch her back or wings at all. What's wrong with the Guardmares today? and trying to unravel the mystery behind all this weirdness. Yeah that could be fun. I'll mull it around and see if I can come up with anything but no promises :P

Thanks for the idea though, it's honestly a good one.

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