For some time now the Bat Pony Nightguard Mothchaser has nursed an infatuation on one Idol Hooves. A sterling example of all Unicorn Stallions (as far as Mothchaser was concerned) and prominent member of the Royal Guard. Tonight she would finally take the bold move from secretly watching him from afar to secretly slipping messages to him at night.
However, as she begins her nightly delivery, Mothchaser stumbles upon a secret that is going to make her wish that she had never gone out after dark in the first place.
Set in vdrake77's "Changeling of the Guard" story, this is a short and completely non-canon snippet starring poor Mothchaser.
Chapters (2)
Heartless monster she was so heart broken I hate seeing sad Bat Poines
It strikes me as funny yet also totally believable that the Equestrian Royal Guard might be the one military organization in existence where you could reasonably Schultz your way out of just about anything.
added to read later
spelling error in description:
"For some time no the Bat Pony"
Man, Shining Armor is going to feel so rested when he wakes up... He might not sleep for days.
Poor Mothchaser. Forever shall she chase her
changelingmoth9676529
I appreciate your reference
I just imagine poor moth like this
...Now I REALLY hope that Mothchaser gets her bug! MY FRAGILE BRONY HEART CAN NO LONGER STAND THE CRUEL DRAMA!!!
Well written and done!
Great story overall.
However, you simply must start a new paragraph every time you have a new speaker.
Fro example:
should be three paragraphs because Cadance speaks, then Idol, and then Cadance again.
So that's it?
Oh wow.. Just wow. Hahahahaha....
you sir are brilliant!
9676529
We totally need a fourth encounter where Idol chases some other notable pony out of his room shouting "Raus! Raus! Raus!"
Ha ha! I read the narrator lines in the voice of the Narrator from The Stanley Parable. It fits so well.
Poor moth
What were you looking for Celestia?
Poor Mothchaser, she doesn't get a rest
It can't end like this! We must have a sequel. Have like.
Eh, it's alright.
Does anyone else feel bad for Celstia? She seems lonely, and Idol's not the most comforting person, or at least not in the way she wants...
Me personally, I'm rooting for her.
Poor Shining no respect.
9677708
At this moment in the main narrative I'd not doubt it one bit of Idol somehow bedded both diarchs, Mothchaser and half of both night and royal guards... Without ever realizing he was on a relationship at all.
Sure, he has that pesky "do not reproduce" command in his head, but it's Idol we're taking about here. If there's someone who could blunder his way through it while looking the very essence of the modern equestrian General it'd be him.
Ah, and to think that if this had only occurred a few months earlier Idol would have put a sock on his door for each encounter.
Mothchaser needs a hug and F for Shining armor
trying to imagine a story were he accidentally ends up as a royal consort and trying to do his best and keep his cover intact
9678139
I have no problems imagining; one poorly worded order and Idol (ignoring certain restrictions) would take the princesses in full view of others. He might object but he would comply... i like that about him.
Shining is going to be so well rested, I somewhat envy him.
Poor Mothchaser.
As enjoyable as it was, there are some serious grammar errors that got in the way of my enjoyment. The most common and significant error is that you have paragraphs in which multiple characters speak. If you want another character to speak, you must start a new paragraph every time, even if it means having single-sentence paragraphs. It's a mistake normally seen only in the very worst-written stories, so to see it here in a good story like this is surprising.
If only Mothchaser had known that Idol shared a room with Cadance's fiancé she would have jumped to the equally wrong but still logical conclusion that Cadance was there for Shining. Perhaps she would have convinced herself that all 3 Alicorns were there for the captain of the guard. I hope Mothchaser will eventually find happiness.
All Mothchaser needs to do to summon the courage to try again is to remember that there is a second stallion in this room ... oh, I'm already too late for this comment.
The real question? Imagine Idol's next action. Finding the letter. Going to the place indicated. Nothing happens -- no one shows up, *because Mothy is in the infirmary for a day and misses the meeting*.
9675994
Glad you enjoyed it! I love Mothy so much, but for some reason that makes me torment her!
9676491
Sorry!
9676998
Yes! Thank you! One of my favourite anime!
9677070
I stan Mothchaser!
9677182
Yeah this is what comes of me typing this thing up months ago as a short joke on Google Docs and then, without editing or proofreading, just loading it up here. AKA: Laziness!
9677216
Thanks!
9677343
That's great!
9677623
I don't know what could happen in a sequel I'm afraid!
9677708
Big-flanked Princesses deserve love too!
9677740
Sorry about that, I just didn't know what to do with him in the moment!
9677794
Repeat after me: Idol Hooves does
NOThave a herd!9678094
Mothchaser deserves ALL the hugs! Maybe MothchaserxShining hugs? New ship born!
9678139
That...is an idea...hmm...could write...hmm...yeah...little oneshot...hmm...the Changeling of the Consort: Idol Hooves winds up in the same situation but rather than Royal Guard his unique Skillset sees him luck into a...different duty.
9681320
We all hope for Mothchaser! And, yeah, I should whip that up maybe as an alternative ending: "Wait, three whole Princesses are here for Shining?" "Ah! Mothchaser, did you need some-" "Sorry Idol, we can still be friends, but I need to check this hunk out!"
9684530
Ah man! I should have added that to the epilouge! Idol just standing, waiting, the whole night
9688478
You'll just have to add a new chapter :-)
That was fun. Mothchaser's plans are ridiculous, the princesses' behaviors are ridiculous, and Mothy's reactions are so worth it.
You need to make a sequel where she blurts out that she wants to got out with him and he says yes. Then shanahans and opsticals get in the way of her date including the changeling invasion.
9706239
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
9720680
I'll keep that idea in mind, thanks! :)
But did he get the note?!
Damnit, Idol, you're such a heartless bastard! You never once thought what your little rendezvous with those Princesses would do to poor Mothchaser. You never think, do you?!
9731363
This is suuuuppppeeerrr late but thanks! :)
9848729
There'll be a small epilogue section I'm working on that will reveal the answer!
9921807
He's a monster! Somebody has to stop him!
9947867
This story is like a great big cream bun with jam on it. It’s unhealthily indulgent, pleasantly stimulating, and above all, satisfying.
Whelp, RIP starving desperate changeling.
You know, it might be useful to stash more love crystals around. Maybe hiding in plain sight. Will try to remember to mention it on the main fic...
Mothchaser definitely needs her session with Idol. That wretched bundle of nerves is practically cliff-walking...
As for finding a betareader, have you checked out the group? https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
Keep going! ;)
The second chapter I didn't know I needed.
Once again Idol warms my day and brings a smile to my face. These stories make the wait worth it.
9987910
Awww! Thank you!
9987931
Thank you for the link! That's going to be super useful for me!
9988043
Glad to have delivered!
9988201
Glad to hear they had a positive effect! Thanks for the feedback!
I think you mean Mothchaser here.
Also, this was great!
This was fun.
And it read very well, nice and smooth, if you're worried about quality.
9988544
I do mean Mothchaser there, yes, oopsie!
9988929
Thank you! I'm glad to hear that!
This was amazing!
Thank you for adding a new chapter to this fic ❤️. I reread it many a time on my flight and it was the best flight I've had.
Please feel free to add an additional chapter or two in the future
9992627
I'll see, I don't know if there is anywhere left to go from here though, sadly!
Great second chapter.
One suggestion though, is you should separate different characters' dialogues in separate lines or paragraphs; not in the same paragraph, like how you wrote this part in the second chapter:
Perhaps it would be better if written like this...
Anyway, thank you for the story. It was a wonderful read.
10044135
Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it! :)