Lifetime Ban
By now traveling through here was pretty familiar to them both. Starlight held onto Spike as the two of them were put through the washing machine of time travel and dimension hopping, she felt her whole soul and body stretch and twist as they were transported somewhere new. Why couldn’t this be as quick and easy as simple teleportation? If she never had to do this again in her life she wouldn’t mind one bit. Spike probably felt the same.
If Starlight could speak right now she’d be asking Spike where they were even going? After their last stop it could be anywhere and they had no idea. If they turned up someplace odd did they just sit around and wait for Twilight again? And speaking of Twilight where was she back there? It’s possible she got dropped off somewhere else, maybe because she wasn’t close by when Starlight destroyed the Crystal Heart. Although it seems like physical proximity should be irrelevant for something like this. Suffice to say that Twilight still wasn’t with them but Starlight had faith that she was okay and probably already looking for a solution to their situation again. It was Twilight after all.
I’m going to be so annoyed if we get stuck in some world where Cozy Glow has erased all the magic… Starlight managed to think while they tumbled through the rift.
Before much longer—as far as time even really existed in this place—the kaleidoscope of colors and lights reappeared around Starlight and Spike and Starlight could see cracks and pieces of the rift around them falling apart. It seems they were about to reenter into a new world. The whole thing was going to shatter again like a stained glass window and Starlight could already predict that everything would end at once and the two of them would suddenly be standing in some random place again.
A whole new feeling of vertigo and weightlessness then overtook the unicorn and dragon, they didn’t know which way was up or down anymore or what their bodies were doing. Starlight started to feel like she was falling apart piece by piece too, like every inch of her was snapping off into thousands of puzzle pieces that she could only hope would be put back together the right way when this all stopped.
Keep it together, Starlight…
Suddenly it was like the situation changed completely and she and Spike both felt something pulling on them, like a vacuum or black hole sucking them down somewhere at the bottom of space.
Was it finally ending? Why was it taking so long? Why was it different? It was closer to how things went when Twilight rescued them and they were pulled into Empress Starlight’s world, was something now working to pull them somewhere else?
“Starlight!”
Starlight’s eyes widened as she could actually hear Spike’s voice. She had lost track of him in all the chaos but now it all seemed to be coming back together. Wherever they were being pulled towards there was a bright light at the end. Spike was there in front of her so she reached out a hoof to grab him.
“Spike! Gotcha!”
They weren’t sure where this tunnel would drop them off but at least they’d be together.
“I believe I’ve got them back, my apologies for the earlier mishap, I have no idea what happened.” Star Swirl the Bearded said to the other gathered ponies.
Princesses Celestia and Luna, the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Trixie, Ember, and Thorax all stood in the map room of Twilight’s Castle. Between the map and the large base of the Golden Oak library a blindingly white sphere of magic floated, Star Swirl squinting in exertion as his magic stabilized the space-time portal.
“All that matters is that they’re safe.” Princess Celestia said, hopeful eyes looking at the portal.
“I don’t think we have nothing to worry about there.” Applejack said. “Starlight and Twilight are probably the two most capable ponies I know, and neither of them would let anything happen to Spike either.”
Rarity gulped and nodded along, wishing the best for her friends.
“I hope you’re right.” Fluttershy worried.
When her friend spoke up Rainbow Dash frowned. “Fluttershy, what about Discord anyways? Why didn’t he help us out with any of this?” She asked her.
“I must admit I’d also like to hear his reasoning.” Celestia said although she didn’t take her eyes off the portal.
“I did ask for his help but, well, he told me that they were okay anyways… and then he said something about helping out a friend and I haven’t seen him since.” Fluttershy mused on Discord’s behavior, wondering if that meant Starlight and Spike were helping out a friend or if he was helping out a friend. He could’ve just been pulling her leg too, it was hard to tell with him sometimes.
“Trixie is fine with complaining to Discord later.” The blue unicorn stated. An annoyed frown on her face. “Right now she just wishes for her best friend to return. And Twilight. Oh and Spike too.” She added at seeing the glares from the others.
“Well as long as they’re back today all the food I made for the welcome back party will still be good.” Pinkie Pie said, looking behind her at a set of tables she had wheeled into the room that were overflowing with cakes, pies, cupcakes, and all sorts of other desserts. “Buuuut if Star Swirl is wrong about them coming back again we’ll have to eat it all and I can make new ones for tomorrow.”
Star Swirl frowned, trying not to take his attention away from the portal. “I was not wrong about them coming back when Miss Sparkle went to find them, something happened and I lost my connection with her. But like I told you all I’m certain I can feel them again. They’re almost here for sure this time.”
“That’s alright, I mean, I can’t speak for the rest of you but if I have to eat a table of cakes-” Pinkie Pie started but then suddenly quieted, her tail twitching. “Uh oh, twitchy tail, something’s about to fall!”
“Fall? What are you talking about?” Star Swirl asked her.
Meanwhile the other ponies from Ponyville had carefully all backed up.
A high-pitched scream came from the portal and a purple Alicorn careened out of it and smacked right into Star Swirl, knocking the both of them to the ground.
“Twilight!” Princess Celestia yelled.
“Huh, that’s weird.” Pinkie said, her tail still twitching. “My pinkie sense is saying there should’ve been a lot more coming...”
More screaming came from the portal and just as Twilight and Star Swirl were getting up Starlight (a thoroughly unicorn Starlight) and Spike shot out of it and collided right into them, the four tumbled across the floor before stopping in a great heap of tangled limbs with Star Swirl smushed beneath them all.
“Ohhh...” Starlight groaned as she sat up, rubbing her head. She briefly looked around before a small smile broke out on her face. “Looks like we’re home, Spike.”
“I hope so.” Spike tried standing up but his knees buckled. “Ow. My whole body hurts, I think the soreness from everything is catching up to me. Have my wings fallen off? Cause I can’t even feel them.”
“If you would be so kind could you please get off of me before you continue your conversation.” Star Swirl grumbled.
“Oh, sorry!” Starlight said and quickly hopped off, only then noticing that Twilight was beneath her as well.
The purple Alicorn also rolled off of Star Swirl and picked herself up. Groggily shaking her head she attempted to look around but was quickly glomped by all of her friends. “Gah!” She yelped.
“Whew! Glad to have you back, Sugarcube!” Applejack said.
“Do we get hugs too?” Spike whispered to Starlight, slightly indignant.
Just then Trixie ran between them and hugged Starlight. “The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to have you know that you worried her immensely while you were gone! Do not ever do such a thing again! At least not without me, then it might be fun.”
“What am I, chopped liver?” Spike said in exasperation, his arms held out in disbelief.
“I wouldn’t go that far. We’re both glad to see you’re okay.”
Spike looked behind him to see Ember smirking at him, Thorax also waving hello.
“Welcome back, Spike.” The changeling said.
Spike was about to proudly state to them how he had just overcome a fierce adventure when he was yanked by Rarity’s magic into the big group hug of his friends, Starlight being pulled along with him by Twilight’s magic.
“We were worried for quite a while you know?” Rarity smiled down at the young dragon.
“We were all worried.” Princess Celestia said as she walked up to them all, temporarily putting the various reunions on hold. “But it’s good to see the three of you are back safely, this has been… quite the event. I wasn’t sure what to do when Star Swirl said the tether with Twilight was broken.”
“Indeed.” Princess Luna said, standing by her sister’s side. “What pray tell happened?” She asked Twilight, her eyes then briefly shifted to Starlight. “And you, Starlight Glimmer, what exactly occurred in the first place that caused you and Spike to travel through time?”
“Uhhh...” Starlight nervously started to rub the back of her head.
“You know if you really want to start from the beginning you can just ask Starlight about how hard she likes to party.” Spike muttered under his breath.
Seeing that Starlight was a bit uncomfortable and remembering what she had been told earlier about messing around in the past Twilight unlatched herself from her friends and stepped forward, coughing into her hoof. She knew Starlight probably wouldn’t want to talk about what she did in front of the Princesses. “Mhm. Well I’m not sure of what happened with Starlight and Spike at first but as for me it’s actually a long story, and to be honest I’m not even sure how or why my connection with Star Swirl was broken when I went back to rescue them in the first place. But it was quite the adventure the three of us ended up on and I already plan to write an extensively detailed report on it. I’ll bring it by Canterlot tomorrow morning.” She smiled. The focus taken off of her student for now.
“It’s good to see you’re the same as ever.” Princess Celestia giggled at her student.
Twilight also giggled. “Well-”
She was cut off by a party canon exploding behind her and showering her in confetti.
“Less talking more partying!” Pinkie Pie said as she zoomed up right next to Twilight and shoved a cupcake in her mouth. She turned to Starlight and Spike and pulled two more cupcakes out of her mane, an absurdly wide grin on her face.
Starlight smiled and looked at Spike. “Well, can’t argue with that can you?”
Hours later the party had ended and all but the ponies (and dragon) who called the castle their home had left. Starlight sat down on a fluffy pillow, thoroughly exhausted after having to cap off this very hectic day with a Pinkie Pie party. Twilight was cleaning up any stray confetti and streamers even though the party pony had promised to come back in the morning to clean up. Spike was passed out on a couch in the library.
A pleasant smile broke out on Starlight’s face as she thought about him. He absolutely deserved the rest.
It was good that Twilight saved her back there from embarrassing herself too. Hopefully she could avoid the Princesses until they forgot to ask about what happened. During the party Twilight had promised to answer any questions they and Star Swirl had about the time-traveling so maybe Starlight was in the clear there. And if she ever felt the need to get some of that guilt off her chest she could just confide in Trixie.
With a yawn, Starlight relaxed into the pillow. “At least everything being safe and sound here proves I was right that I wasn’t really changing our timeline. Hope I made a difference for at least some alternate timelines out there.” She shrugged.
“Speaking of your adventures.”
Starlight yelped, jumping up in shock from her pillow and wheeling around to face Twilight.
“Ehehe, didn’t hear you there Twilight.” She nervously chuckled.
“Right.” Her teacher smiled but narrowed her eyes. “You know there are still quite a few questions I have for you and I expect you to answer them in excruciating detail later. But before that, Spike happened to tell me during the party of how and why this all started in the first place. Namely what occurred after the last party we had.”
Spike you traitor! Starlight silently yelled, sweat starting to fall like bullets down her face.
“Oh, he did, did he?” She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.
“Yes. He did.” Twilight frowned. “And I think it’s only fair to tell you now that there is a lifetime ban now in effect on alcohol on these premises. And furthermore you are going to write a 100 page essay on what you did wrong and why you’re sorry. I think you know me well enough by now to know that I will read every last page of it so don’t think you can cut corners either.”
“O-One hundred pages?!” Starlight sputtered. Her pupils turned to pinpricks. “Lifetime ban?!”
Her many, many, poor decisions catching up to her, so it was that Starlight retired to her room to collapse onto the bed, not looking forward to tomorrow in the slightest. Spike on the other hand had an excellent night’s sleep. And just like that things returned to normal, merely one more adventure down in the long list of adventures for Starlight, Twilight, and Spike.
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I get the feeling that the rest of Twilight’s friends will end up making her change her mind about the ban at some point.
I did not expect Spike to betray starlight after everything they had gone through.
Overall this was a very entertaining story that I thoroughly enjoyed. The only problem I have with it is that the first two-thirds were completely pointless.
I just don't understand why the majority of the story was spent on Starlight changing the past but then we never really get to see the outcome. The changes weren't even the reason for Starlight's World it just helped them get there. So what was the point of having Starlight make all these changes if we never get to see the results? It just feels like you started writing one story but instead of finishing it you just started writing a different story.
If the end goal was always to get them to Starlight's World then it should have just been a story about them jumping from world to world trying to find a way home and then eventually getting stranded in that world instead of making it a time travel story that doesn't really go anywhere.
But again despite that, I still enjoyed the story.
That's strange, because I was going to compliment you on your action sequences...
This story was enjoyable. The antics perpetrated by Starlight were amusing. The events you depicted in the past were interesting. The progression of the tale and cliffhangers made me keep coming back for all 100,000+ words. Overall, a good story, but sadly in spite of a few important factors.
I didn't like was the characterization of Starlight and Spike. Most of the time, it was fine, but then one of the two would do or say something that seemed off. It made it a bit hard to power through some of the earlier chapters.
Having the changes that Starlight made do something to the future would would have made the earlier chapters much more meaningful. They were reasonably amusing on their own (after all, I did read them) but I won't lie, the fact that you didn't show the results of those changes disappointed me. That is one of my favorite parts of time travel stories: seeing how the changes impact the future. I feel like the lack of that hurts the overall story as it makes the earlier chapters feel somewhat pointless. What does it matter that Starlight changed so much if it didn't do anything?
However, the latter chapters... WOW! Starlight's World
couldshould be its own story. (You don't even need to change much - just have the three characters suddenly flung into Starlight's World in place of the earlier chapters and remove the Tirek fight.)The world you painted was amazing, intriguing, engaging. I came back every day eager to read the next chapter and I loved every minute of it. How the world was different was fascinating and the way you wrote it made it feel believable. It definitely feels different from the rest of the story, as you pointed out, but it's not a bad different. It was a mix of dramatic and humorous moments in exactly the right places. You say you can't write action scenes? That final chase scene between the two Starlights was awesome!
And the way you built up the tension was spectacular. Each time I thought the conflict would be resolved, you let the characters fail and fall further. Starlight and Twilight are ready to defeat the Empress - nope! - the pair lose their Cutie Marks and are captured. Spike can destroy the Heart and end everything - nah! - he gives it up for Starlight. Twilight rescues the Mane 6 and so Empress Starlight is outmatched - gotcha! - she has Cadence and Shining to fight for her. This indeed felt totally different from the earlier chapters, but it was so exciting and interesting.
Those ten chapters are the reason I am giving the story a thumbs up. The rest is the reason it isn't being considered for inclusion in my personal Top 10 stories on the site. I wish that readers didn't have to get through almost 60k words of a seemingly unrelated story to get to that.
Starlight's World really is worth a read.
This story was awesome. I loved every bit of it. From the meaningless fun to the sudden dire situation of the Starlight’s World Arc. The only thing this story didn’t really need was the Tirek chapter.
Liked the story and can understand how the small changes lead them to Starlight’s World. I do agree that it does feel a bit odd between the arcs of Time Travel, Starlight World and Terk. Though I’m surprise you didn’t keep going because there are stories like these where it’s just long series like the poplar Sweetie Bell Story.
So, does the actions they made get undone? It won’t be hard to fix well... Maybe not Sunset
9738790
He just made sure she got her just desserts for everything. It's not like it's malicious or anything on his part, but Twilight also had the right to know and Spike didn't really want her to get away scot free.
9738808
You're not wrong. Kind of what I wanted to do with those earlier parts was make them pointless on purpose though. And to never have how Starlight actually started this in the first place explained. My reason for that is parody. I wanted this to be the opposite of stories that are more serious adventures or try to explain things too hard or come up with this absurd premise and then have the characters try to logically figure things out. So here there are no answers for the most part. It was silly comedy that had setup that goes nowhere. And I don't mind any criticism for that, I just want you to know where I was coming from too.
9738786
They'll probably have a word with her within the week.
9738834
As far as the characterization problems go that you mentioned yeah I would have to agree with you on some parts. I feel like I probably sometimes get a joke or scene in my head that I want to do and sometimes that comes at the sacrifice of the characters. There are other comments that said I wrote Starlight wrong and I don't really disagree with that either, I feel like I'm channeling more of her season 6 self than her current self for this story. And I'm glad you liked the action, maybe I just have a different view on the fight scenes because I by far find them the hardest parts to write. It was the same for me in Applejack Gets Lost.
Thanks for the praise on Starlight's World!
9738868
Thanks! Would you believe that the Tirek part was one of the very first things I came up with? It probably changed a little but the reason I included it was because I wanted the story to end on a note of random comedy that was more akin to the earlier parts of the story.
I am now going to a wedding and won't be able to respond to any more comments for a few days. Thank you all!
9738974
I have too many other fics I want to write to keep this one going endlessly, even though the premise allows for it I think eventually it would wear thin. But I'm glad you enjoyed it!
9738987
While I can respect the idea I don't think it was handled very well. If the point was for it all to be pointless it shouldn't have been structured as if it was actually building up to something. It should have just been a story where Starlight bounces around different places tries to do something only to screw up and have to move on. Which is kind of how the story started but then you just had her making random changes she wasn't even aware of and that stuff comes across as completely meaningless because she didn't intend to make those changes nor was there any real consequence for the changes and without any kind of consequence it just makes the whole thing a colossal waste of time and just drags down what was an otherwise good story.
You could cut out pretty much everything that happens in Canterlot and I think the story as a whole would be better for it.
Great story. Thanks for writing it!
This was a very nice story. Good action, and decent characterizations all around. The one thing I'm disappointed in is not getting a conclusion to Sunset Shimmer. I really, REALLY want to know what happened to that timeline now.
It was funny, I wonder how the changed they did affected to the other timelines, and too bad they decided to leave Celestia depressed, in moments like that, it could had been good to have a friend.
This is my new favorite fic. The comedy, the action scenes, the creativity, it was all astounding! 15 out of 10!
9987633
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much!
D'awwww.
I figure it out without the footnote.
So i enjoyed this read, however only until that certain "I'm done" point she had and started going AWOL from the started idea.
Still getting a like. :)
10016612
Thank you for the like, I'm glad you enjoyed the story even with its issues. Even with me planning it out it got away from me and got kind of all over the place.
10016676
Amen to that. Happens to me in over half my stories over 10k.
No issues, just lost me. It happens and I liked what I read.
Well written, good idea, great promise, good characterization. Everything good enough to hook a reader from the start. That's all that matters for us authors, imo.
This has been ranked here
I finished it, but I can't say I liked it that much. The first half of the story was good; it had great potential what with Starlight attempting to make positive changes and instead creating a travesty of her own Equestria. The shenanigans weren't as frequent when the setting changed to Canterlot, but they were still entertaining throughout. What disappointed me though was the second half of the story, which felt like a completely different story entirely. It suddenly became much more serious, and the only ties to what came before it were quite tenuous.
I agree with everydaygamer here; Starlight's World should have been its own story. I can imagine it in the style of Applejack Gets Lost as a series of mini-adventures, like how the Tirek encounter appears right after it.
Instead of Starlight's World, I think it would have been fun to see the future Starlight created. Did it turn out to be good? Bad? Not so different? To keep the story going, maybe the changes Starlight made would end up needing to be "fixed" before returning home. Of course, some more happy/unhappy accidents would need to happen, first. In other words, story needed more alcohol. A lot of it.
10575827
Fair points. I know this story was... different and I'm glad you finished it at least.
There will be certain news in a few months pertaining to this...
While this was a pretty nice stoey I agree with what others have said that the changes in the past adn Stalight's world would have functioned better as seperate stories. I know you have decided on a story were Starlight is going to deal with all her mistakes and I'm interested in seeing what becomes of it.
It’s got a bit random near the end but have a thumbs up anyway
This was a pretty entertaining story. Starlight and Spike go well together, whether by letting loose and having fun or by Spike playing the straight man to [attempt to] curb Starlight's crazier urges on the trip. Similar kind of humor present in their screw-ups of the past compared to Amethyst's constant bumbling in Amethyst Star Isn't Prepared For This. The Starlight's World arc was awesome.
Unfortunately it did stagnate a little in the Canterlot arc and then kind of fall flat because it didn't feel like the changes in the past really went anywhere. I didn't feel a strong noticeable connection to what Starlight changed vs the big bad result other than "Starlight just did X and the universe finally decided to break". It felt totally separate from everything that had happened up to that point. All the buildup went "nowhere". I'm hoping/figuring these will get addressed later in Starlight Glimmer Regrets Her Mistakes.
Other than that, thumbs up.👍
Also with this I am finally caught up on all of the Lostverse. Wheee!Ok, I'm all caught up on the list verse now. Excited for more