Licensed Real Estate Agent & Notary Public. I also really love magical girls.
Stuck in a creative rut, Rarity welcomed the opportunity Twilight gave her to be Equestria's ambassador to a newly discovered kingdom in the sea to the south. Perhaps in a new land, with a new culture, style, and fashion she could finally have that creative spark reignited in her. And if nothing else how many ponies get to say they opened up relations with a completely new people?
Unfortunately for Rarity things don't go as well as she hoped.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well this was pretty good... Keep writing.
9475000
New chapter every 5 days.
I had fun!
Nice. Fav and will follow it.
Daylight seems like an interesting pony; very pragmatic in the face of her current situation. A bit of a grump but also kind.
I can understand where Rarity is coming from; being forced to serve the trolls sucks but it would suck less if she was made to do something she enjoyed.
Trolls, hmm?
Rarity, it is time to take a page from Rainbow Dash's playbook and stage an escape. First, see if any of the Hippogryphs have a shard of the Pearl. If yes, then you just need to create a big enough distraction so they can get to the ocean and swim for it to Seaquestria and get the word out about the Trolls. I am quite sure that Queen Novo would quickly inform Princess Celestia, who would then inform Dragon Lord Ember about these slavers. I am fairly certain that the Trolls could not withstand an actual military assault on their island. Especially from an entire flight of dragons.
Are you going to do a story like this for all of the Mane Six?
Rarity should have told Lemon Squeeze that his village had changed. Which he should have realized when his cutie mark came back to him with the breaking of the vault.
9502607
Different village, it's actually a reference to my other fic. They occur in the same universe but there's so little connection they can't be called sequels and you don't need to read one first or anything like that. Just little tidbits and characters that will appear sporadically. The best example I can think of is how Stephen King references his own stuff, like some characters from IT appearing in 11/22/63. But you don't need to read IT or know anything about it to read/get/enjoy 11/22/63. That's the same thing I'm doing here. This is still a totally self-contained story.
9502591
I have plans for the following characters after this story: Starlight, Trixie, Amethyst Star, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack again. Whether I will be able or willing to write all of those fics is another story.
This is really good. I would think Rarity could request to work as a designer since Trolls love to party.
9511266
Thank you.
To bad they didn’t get Pinkie Pie. They would have been partying like trolls
It's good to see Rarity attempts to stay optimistic and it's just as good to see that tentative optimism being tested by Trolls' utter lack of fashion sense at something like a dinner party. This isn't helped by Rarity being forced to assume the role of "there, but not there," something Rarity's personality really doesn't suit her to. It may have been inevitable that she would slip the moment she was given an opportunity to speak her mind just a little. Hopefully that Troll really was more impressed with her than offended by her gall.
I am curious to learn how that interaction with the balding troll will factor into things down the line. Will Daylight's foreshadowing of becoming a personal servant come into play here? I worry what that could mean for her, though; there are other reasons that servants are handpicked, after all.
Meanwhile, in Equestria...
Rainbow Dash: It's been too long without word from Rarity. I'm going to that island right now.
Twilight Sparkle: It's only been a few days, and it would take that long for a message to possibly get back here. Plus, you don't know where it is.
Hmmm
It must be difficult to keep the story light given the subject matter. Do you plan chapters around particular jokes?
9526317
The story has ended up a little more serious than I intended but that's my own fault. The whole story and sequence of events was written down and then I came up with and divided things into the chapters, so things were always structured a very exact way.
If Rarity does happen to be in the same room as the Troll King, I'm thinking she'd say something like this to him:
Your Majesty, I was sent here to find out about your kingdom and bring that knowledge back to Equestria.
Instead, I have been enslaved.
I should have you know that, if I do not return to Equestria by the end of the month, that Princess Twilight Sparkle will come here to get me.
Once she sees that you are a land of slavers, she will free ALL of your slaves, lock you Trolls inside of this castle, and then go and tell Princess Celestia, the Dragon Lord, and all the other rulers of Equestria's allies to come show their displeasure with slavers.
9534503
Aside from the bit where they're immune to magic, and if she doesn't know that ahead of time she'd be in trouble if she attacked.
(If she does know it's pretty easy to work around, she's great with lifting heavy objects.)
Well, isn't that last line just tempting fate?
Future message:
From Princess Celestia, Dragon Lord Ember, and Queen Novo, to the Troll King
We shall be arriving in three days. Have all your slaves freed by then, or it is WAR!
How much longer until Rarity's friends come looking for her?
Rainbow Dash: It has been too long. Just point me towards where she was going, and I'll go check on her.
Twilight Sparkle: Even you cannot fly that far. We need a ship, but apparently there is currently a lack of sailors in Equestria.
9563889
They aren't coming.
Plot convenience.
I wonder what Kazumi Evans singing l'Internationale would sound like.
9563889
There aren't any sailors left because they've all been captured and enslaved, apparently.
Does this story have anything to do with Rarity Gets Caught?
'Females can hold no rank'
-should I tell him that females are the rulers of 4 nations?- thought Rarity. -no, save that for the beatdown of truth I shall give the King.-
Spike: Twilight, where did you park your balloon? I shall use that to find Rarity. I shall send a message to Celestia every day so you will know I am safe.
9570556
I was unaware that existed.
This is a gem! I'm loving this and can't wait for completion.
I'm not a Rarity fan, as it's known, but you've made her relatable, likable, and in character!
The journal style is quite nice, too.
9577392
Thank you. The journal/first person pov wasn't something I originally was going to do but then I felt like it was something that suited Rarity well.
Rarity to the King (later): Apparently you Trolls were never told that slavery was ended in every civilized nation on Equus centuries ago. As the OFFICIAL EQUESTRIAN AMBASSADOR, it is apparently my job to educate you of that fact, as well as the fact that you are technically at war with the nation of every creature you have ever enslaved.
Oh boy, I can't wait for the next chapter.
That was a damn solid build-up to the finale. It feels entirely unpredictable by the end.
By the way, since this story is part of the series you are making of each M6 going on their own adventure I would guess one of the M6 is going to get taken by aliens?
Awesome story but though... I don’t see much dialogue for the King & High Priest. Like they didn’t sound like they know that she was a slave in the last chapter?
This did felt like it was missing a chapter for both of them because they never got a chance to speak at all.
Maybe you rushed too the end to fast?
9604658
Yeah I'll give you that. The King was meant to be more of an object or "symbol" to overcome and less of an actual character. The High Priest did appear back in chapter 14 but that was it.
Rarity: No.
Twilight: Eeyup. :)
Rarity: *faints dramatically*
That all went much easier than I was expecting it to after the build-up in the previous chapter. No red terror, no bloody reign of Madame Guillotine, no insideous foreign-backed counterrevolution, no occupation by former slaves--Rarity's was the most proper and well-mannered revolution ever.
9608240
I write my stories mostly light and drama-free.
9608399
I'm cool with that, and it does make sense that Rarity would only be the author of the most ladylike of uprisings. It is just that, after the last chapter, everything going well was the last thing that I was expecting to happen.
I finally found the time to read the whole story and I really liked it! Rarity doesn't get to shine in a way that suits her too often in adventure stories. Also, are the Harlequins going to be in every story as a way of connecting them or just to show that there are playful spirits all over the world? Not sure if that question would be considered a spoiler or not so I played it safe.
9733233
Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
As for your question it's kind of funny you ask that and I don't think it's much of a spoiler but I'll put it in spoilers anyways. Sort of, there are four of them (all quite different) and they'll physically appear to some degree in every story except for ironically the Starlight one I'm finishing up right now. There's a reason for that but I don't want to go into detail on it until I've written more stories.
So I finally finished this story, and it was a good read!
First off, however, let's deal with room for improvement:
Occasionally, there's incorrect punctuation after speech tags, such as, from this chapter:
Now, to address the four things in your final author's note:
Now, compared to the previous story, I think this is an improvement over Applejack Gets Lost, though partially because this is something structured and much more thought-out than the semi-random events of the first story and I have personal taste and preference over structured stuff than semi-random stuff. However, it also shows that you're quite capable and beyond decent when it comes to handling a long-form story. I can easily imagine this as some kind of two- or three-part My Little Pony Rarity-focused special with ease.
In terms of plot: it's nigh flawless! The story's paced pretty well, kept tension high when needed and brought breathing room in when needed. Although the climax was a bit anti-climactic (I honestly expected a more detailed description of a fight or two), I guess it fit the theme of friendship (and the E rating) rather well.
Regarding how you characterized Rarity: quite spot-on! And not just with her tone of voice and how she would think things out in her head, but you also displayed a surprising knowledge of tailoring and other things Rarity would be good at. You definitely did your research or, at the very least, had some experience in the field. As for how you characterized everyone else: they were all believable and they were all quite consistent for their personalities and circumstances.
Overall, with the only gaping errors being only grammatical, this is a great story and it's a shame that it's not as popular as it should've been. Bravo to you, and may you fare well in your next stories!
9754384
Thanks for another big in-depth review! I'm glad you liked the story. The Starlight story I just finished is one that takes place in the same world as Lost and Enslaved but it's different for a variety of reasons. Some of which are actually sort of spoilers for future stories I'm writing so I can't go too far into detail. But it ended up being a story of just me doing whatever with it and I can already tell you probably won't like it as much as this one because it's by far the most unstructured thing I'm going to be writing. Trail Blazer is completely separate, that's just something I've wanted to write for a while.
I had a lot of fun writing this story from Rarity's perspective. I think she's the most fun character to write like that.
As for the foreshadowing you're right about that. The Trixie story I'm writing soon (probably going to publish the first chapter in a couple weeks) will be the next installment in this world and a lot of things foreshadowed in this one will be relevant there, and I think you'll like that one because it's more of a single big story again. But then some other things foreshadowed aren't gonna come around for a long time.
Once again, you’ve got your main character down perfect. I’ve got a feeling this is gonna be good.
The Word of Glimmer has at least partially reached the trolls, it seems.
It’s nice to see a few familiar faces. This Harlequin dude is suspicious, though; I’m assuming the fact that he knew of Rarity without her introducing herself or even realizing was not a mistake. I wonder if this point will be explored sometime.
Also, I bet Applejack would be green with envy upon hearing about those farms and their apple obsession.