Starlight Glimmer Makes Many Mistakes

by MagicS

The Slightest of Detours

“So that’s Tirek?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, just wanted to be sure I wasn’t going totally crazy.”

Starlight and Spike were surprisingly calm about this sudden new hazard. Maybe the both of them were just tired of all the insanity they had been through and just didn’t have a care to give anymore. Maybe they were in shock at the radical turn of events, having just succeeded against Empress Starlight only to be thrown into a new frying pan. Maybe they didn’t even fully realize what was going on since by all accounts this didn’t make any sense whatsoever.

Instead of running away or getting ready to fight Starlight just started to walk towards Tirek, Spike worriedly following at her heels.

“Er, Starlight? Do you have a plan?”

“Not really.” She shook her head.

“So what are you doing?” Spike gulped.

“I’m going to talk to him. See what he wants and then maybe we can leave.”

“Starlight...”

“Spike I’m well aware of how stupid that sounds but I’m really not in the mood for another fight. Despite getting an all new Alicorn body I don’t feel like I have a lot of extra power in me or anything.” She looked down at him. “And by the looks of it you’re on the verge of collapsing, after all we did we both need some rest, we’re not in any condition to fight him. In the end even if something bad happens here we’ll just have to do what we did in that other world. Cause a big enough change to get thrown out and hopefully end up where we belong.”

The two of them reached the ground below the ridge Tirek stood on. He had actually patiently waited for them to walk up, apparently pleasantly surprised that “Princess Starlight” wasn’t hiding or running away from him. He gazed down at the both of them with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Well now, so you aren’t going to run away? Have you come to fight me, Princess?” He asked, chuckling.

Starlight had to crane her neck to look him in the eyes. He was big. “Hello there. Lord Tirek, correct?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Yes. That is correct.”

“You said I had something that belonged to you. What might that be?” Starlight cheerfully smiled at him.

Spike smacked his face and shook his head.

Tirek, to his credit, took all of this in stride. “Your Alicorn magic is what I desire. Give it to me. Clearly you aren’t interested in fighting, have you realized the futility of your actions? Or has your mind simply snapped under the pressure?”

“Her mind snapped a long time ago if you ask me...” Spike muttered under his breath.

“None of that. I was just hoping we could talk and come to an understanding instead.” Starlight said.

The great centaur stood silently for a second, regarding the Alicorn princess with a bemused expression. “You’re… serious? Do you not realize that I’ve already drained the magic of every other pony in Equestria? There is no understanding to reach. You can either willingly allow me to devour your magic or I can forcefully take it from you.”

“Oh I realize all that.” Starlight lied. “But I don’t see any reason why we still can’t put all that in the past and be friends. You can give the magic back can’t you?”

Tirek flatly looked at her before turning his attention to Spike. “Has she lost her mind?”

Spike looked at Tirek. Then at Starlight. He blinked and looked back at Tirek, shrugging.

“Enough of this trifle.” Lord Tirek scoffed and gathered powerful magic between his horns. “This is your last chance to give me your magic before I obliterate you.”

“If you obliterate me how are you going to take my magic?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

Lord Tirek grumbled, facepalming just like Spike. “It’s just supposed to be threatening, okay? I wouldn’t completely obliterate you right from the start. That can come after.”

“Okay.” Starlight nodded. “But I’m still not giving you my magic. I think it would be better for all of us if you gave up on your ambition and turned over a new leaf. Think about it, you could do a lot of good and have some great friends. Sounds nice, right?”

“No. It does not.” Tirek growled. The orb of fiery magic between his horns flashed and a great blast of magic erupted towards Starlight and Spike.

A massive explosion tore apart the ground they were standing on, reducing it to nothing more than a smoking crater. Tirek grinned evilly as he stepped down from his ridge to see how his Alicorn prey was doing. His attack was powerful but more for show than anything, certainly not enough to “obliterate” an Alicorn… oh, wait, that dragon was right next to her too.

Eh, whatever.

“Did that knock some sense into you, Princess?” Tirek laughed as he looked down into the smoking center of the crater.

“Hey, over here.”

Tirek glanced up to see Starlight and Spike standing behind the crater. Perfectly okay. The Alicorn was even waving at him.

The huge centaur scowled at them. “Teleported away at the last second? You can’t keep doing that forever, you’re merely delaying the inevitable.”

“Tirek, there’s no way we’re going to let you have Starlight’s magic. I can’t say I agree with everything Starlight is doing right now but that’s at least one thing that’s certain.” Spike said to him, folding his arms in front of his chest. “Right?” He looked to Starlight.

But Starlight actually now looked like she was deep in thought. Her brow was furrowed and she cradled her chin with a hoof. “My magic...”

“Uh, Starlight?” Spike asked.

“Hmph, very well.” Tirek said, catching both of theirs attention again. “I would be delighted to beat you into the ground and take your magic, but if you’re going to give me so much trouble over it I might as well just show you the other reason you can’t defy me.” Tirek snapped his fingers and five bubbles appeared in the air around him. “Take a look at your friends, Princess Starlight.”

Starlight and Spike looked on in shock to see several very familiar ponies being held captive by Tirek.

“Starlight!” Trixie screamed from inside her bubble. “He stole the Great and Powerful Trixie’s magic! Now I’m just the Still Great but Normal Trixie!”

“Whatever you do don’t give him your magic, Starlight!” Sunburst told her from the second bubble. “Forget about us, Equestria is more important!”

Starlight’s eyes then flickered over to the third bubble where a stoic as ever Maud sat.

The reticent earth pony tilted her head when their eyes met. She didn’t say anything but Starlight had the sneaking suspicion that Maud had realized something was off with her.

In the fourth bubble-

“Wait, who are you?” Starlight asked. Raising her eyebrow at the unicorn mare she didn’t recognize.

The unicorn in question’s jaw dropped. She was a taller than average mare with a long horn, light blue coat, and orange and yellow mane and tail. She wore a fancy black and gold outfit with a saddle on the back. “What are you talking about, Starlight?! It’s me, Sassy! We’ve been friends for years!”

Spike tugged on Starlight’s mane to get her attention. “That’s Sassy Saddles, the manager at Rarity’s Canterlot Boutique.”

“Oh.” Starlight scrunched her nose in confusion. “I think I’ve seen her? Once maybe. We’re friends in this world?”

“Guess so.” Spike shrugged.

“Well whatever…” Starlight gave up on that line of thought and looked at the fifth bubble.

And stopped. “Wait. What.”

In the fifth and largest bubble a different creature all together sat. While it had an Alicorn shape and size it was far more bug-like in appearance and its colors were, despite being mostly black, blue and purple hues, were brighter and more neon-like than a typical pony’s would be. Her wings and tail were insectoid and her eyes were a vivid green with big white pupils. The large bug timidly sat back, gazing out with hope at Starlight.

“Please tell me that is not Queen Chrysalis.”

“Well, I was the Queen...” The transformed Chrysalis shyly said, blushing. “But when you showed me the magic of friendship I-”

“Okay, stop, stop!” Starlight held up a hoof. “I can’t. I’m done here, I just can’t anymore.” She shook her head and looked down at Spike. “Spike, I don’t care if we have to go burn down the Castle of Friendship, we’re getting out of here.”

“I’m definitely not letting you do that.” Spike replied.

“Excuse me.” Tirek (very patiently) said. “But if you’re going to have a mental breakdown could you at least have the decency to do it after you’ve given me your magic?”

“My magic?” Starlight glared at him. “Look, now I’m annoyed. You want my magic so bad? Fine then.”

“What?!” Spike yelled.

“Starlight are you crazy?!” Sunburst shouted from his bubble.

But Starlight ignored the both of them. She merely walked towards Lord Tirek with a stony frown on her face. The centaur sorcerer greedily smiled as she approached.

“Good. Once I have your magic I’ll be truly unstoppable.” He laughed.

“Quiet, windbag.”

“Excuse me?” He said again, stunned at her sudden change in demeanor and attitude and the fact that she would insult him in this situation.

“I tried being nice but apparently that’s just not working for me.” She glanced at Chrysalis. “Not me at least. I wanted to solve this peacefully but if you’re just not going to listen and be a jerk then fine. If my magic is what you’re after then have a spell!” She fired up her horn and shot a powerful beam of magic at the centaur.

Tirek just laughed and effortlessly swallowed it up. “Hahaha… thank you for the snack, Princess. But what I really want is the full course.” He wrung his hands together. “If you’re prepared to give me the rest I’ll even… I’ll...” Tirek stopped as a strange sickly feeling overtook his body. His vision started to blur as it felt like he was weakening all at once. “W-What’s happening...”

“You like to absorb the magic of ponies and use their special properties, don’t you?” Starlight flicked her mane back. “Well that spell you just ate? It’s all about taking away what makes somepony special.”

Lord Tirek looked down in shock at the Alicorn, his body trembled and try as he might he couldn’t draw up any magic to his horns. Finally he felt a strange and alien sensation burn along his flank and he looked back to see a huge equal sign flash into existence on it while the colors of his fur dulled. At the same time the five bubbles carrying Starlight’s friends all popped and they safely fell to the ground.

“You little!” Lord Tirek screamed at Starlight and charged at her. His magic might have been gone but he was still huge and strong and she was definitely not ready for a fight like that.

But Starlight wasn’t worried, she could already see reality falling apart and turning white around her. She just smiled at the rampaging Tirek and saluted as the entire world shattered like a thousand glass mirrors. Every little piece of reality swirling away like dust in a tornado before a hundred-colored rainbow of lights swept down like a tidal wave. She and Spike had fallen back into the rift between time and dimensions, no control over where they might be going next but hopefully it would be home.

As they spiraled through that abyss Starlight idly wondered if she would stay an Alicorn when they got back.

Author's Note:

I don't know either. It's the kitchen sink.

Comments

[TheHardie-Boy]

9735538
I thought the exact same thing

[TheHardie-Boy]

Well, I just read that. Now I must go do something else

[Starlight Glimmer1]

So you threw everything at us including the kitchen sink? Where are we gonna wash the dishes now?

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

...This chapter made me laugh hysterically, I loved it.

[RoboRed]