9548554
Well, while I see your point, it is still quite sad to see that happen

9552668
Understandable, I tend to treat the characters I love the worst!

I’m don’t know if I’m enjoying this at all. It just feels like it’s going to fast.

“Shining Armor and Big Mac grabbed mares who they then fucked but then they were done and they fucked them at least 20 times before they fucked again and it keep happing because there fucking more.”

There’s no time spent at all to be able to enjoy it. It’s all going to fast.

6,000 words later and I really haven’t seen a sex scene that was longer then a few paragraphs. It’s all just “then sex happens”

9557333
That's fair, I tried to put my focus onto the mind breaking and the depraved scenarios around the club, and left a lot of the actual sex for the reader to fill in, fearing it might get too repetitive.

Chapter 3 seems way too out of place. It seems like it'd be better served as its own sequel, rather than tacked onto this one, because it has almost nothing to do with the premise the first two chapters had built.

9695832
My intention was to show the debauchery of the club, and how their failure enabled this tragic situation to continue, escalating, but it may have worked better as a sequel.