• Member Since 6th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 3rd, 2014

FlutterDash979797


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Fluttershy has feelings for Rainbow Dash. Love? No. A crush? Maybe...

Wonderbolt trials await Rainbow Dash. What better way is there for Fluttershy to get closer to her crush by attending Rainbow and helping her during the tralls?

Written by DinoManDraves
Edited by FlutterDash7, xXAzn_BoiiXx

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 166 )

This is great! I cant wait for more! :twilightsmile:

1059234
Just what was going through my mind.:pinkiecrazy:
(I don't like the song either)

Interesting.

Hey, cool! I'm looking forward to where this is going!:raritystarry: It's always an interesting angle to go with when it comes to this pair, the imminent ideal of Rainbow Dash joining the Wonderbolts and having some conflicting issues within it. I can't wait! :pinkiehappy:
:yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

1059264
I hate the song as well :rainbowlaugh:

I can assure you the title was not inspired by that song!

But...

Thanks for commenting and hope you enjoyed!

1060621
Hey thanks! Glad you are looking forward to it! I'm looking forward to your future projects as well! :pinkiesmile:

Yay, more FlutterDash :yay: So far, the story seems promising and I'll definitely be tracking it. I see it's another "Wonderbolts or Love" kind of stories, which I've seen quite a few of. Although, you can go anywhere with this s tart, and I'll be sure to be along for the ride!
And as always, DLUTTERDASH FTW :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

Awwwww, Fluttershy's in love! :twilightsmile: So cute! What a splendid idea for her to go along with Rainbow Dash for support. I mean, she went with her back to Cloudsdale to prepare for the competition, so it seems just about natural that she would go with her for this!

And it's true, Fluttershy really is that kind of pony you can talk to and actually feel comfortable in doing so, knowing she'll listen to you and won't judge you, but will tell you what you need to know, blunt as it may be sometimes. And Rainbow Dash can really use that kind of support network. Seriously, I hope season three will showcase this some more... But until then, we'll always have fanfics! 8D X3

Well done so far, yet again! I'm looking forward to what's to come. :raritystarry:

1085261
Thank you! Yes, I agree, she does need that support line. Good thing she has friends like Fluttershy.

1085261 Flutterdash in the actual show would be EPIC, although, i don't know if they'd let a lesbian relationship on a children's show :fluttershysad:

1086631 I know how you feel. In my own personal bubble, I would be ECSTATIC. But to be realistic and in regards to canon, there's no way it's going to happen and frankly, it would be a bad idea in GENERAL to do ANY shipping within the Main Six. :fluttershysad: I could go on forever about why, but I won't. The point is, it just wouldn't work.
But at least we'll have them as friends. :twilightsmile:

1086648 well, their ship would be a REALISTIC turn, if there was ANY romance, as the show has told us, they've know each other for a LONG time, and several other instances. Have you seen the video the pointed out they kissed (in the show)?

1086666 You're definitely not wrong about that! They're a great pairing and would be awesome together. And yes, I do know about the infamous kiss. X'D I made a little analysis about it. :derpytongue2:

1086827 XD I think that sums it up perfectly!

Just wondering... but does “I was just going to visit Pinkie. - from Twilight, when Pinkie had just ditched Rainbow Dash's company hint at anything between the two mares?

Very cute ending to the chapter. I liked Rarity's entrance and her prying... may the feelings develop :rainbowkiss::heart::yay:

"Gimme five!" Five what? Fingers? Nooo... :ajsmug:
Anyway, I like the story so far, and I will continue to read the chapters as they come out. The idea for Fluttershy to go along with Dashie was splendid as well. Keep up the good work.
And as always, FLUTTERDASH FTW :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

1087044
Well.. Gimme hoof is just weird... I'm not sure what to do with it.

1086977
Hmmmm... I wonder who had the idea of Rarity entering. :twilightblush:

1086875
1086977
1087044
1086882

Any suggestions from my awesome readers? I'm not hearing much... And I'd really to hear suggestions... if that's okay with you :fluttershysad:

1087409 I'm sure to think of something... I'll pm you my thoughts...

1086977
About the TwiPie, it was actually conquisental, but it makes a lot of sense. Maybe there will be hints but I'm going to have Adventures focus on them

great story so far. Can't wait to see more! and remember to be a :raritystarry: STAR! :raritystarry:

1087409 I'll let you know if I do think of something! :3

1088270
Thanks! Any suggestions in writing style/format/ ect... Was it easy to read?

Thanks!! I know it's a lot to ask, but I want to keep getting these stories out to you guys in the best way possible... if that's okay with you :fluttershysad: (I feel like I'm demanding, which makes me feel :fluttercry:)

1088414 It's definitely easy to read, no worries about that! :3

1088264

I'm a lot of things, not sure a star is one of them :rainbowlaugh: . Maybe a mixture of a nerdy socially awesome/awkward penguin? :twistnerd: :moustache:

But thanks for your support! Check out my other stories if you are a FlutterDash fan

1088419
Don't be afraid to pick out any bad writing/mistakes. It would help me out a ton!

I might start on another Adventures Chapter tonight. We'll see what happens :pinkiesmile:

1088449 Will do, good sir! You can count on me! I'll do what I can! :rainbowdetermined2::twilightsmile:

I like the story, but this is what the dialogue sounds like in my opinion...

Rainbow Dash: "Hey Fluttershy! What ya thinking 'bout?

Fluttershy: I dunno, animals n'stuff...


Again, i like the story but that got stuck in my head while I was reading.

Hmph. I re-read the chapter looking for the Spongebob reference, and I couldn't find it. :fluttercry: I'm a failure at life. :ajsleepy: Although, if I had to guess... Is it the part with the traveling pirates? It seemed pretty random, but it could also just be Soarin' exaggerating the importance of his pie. Well, I noticed two mistakes while I was reading.
1) "Have I told you what the challenges and trails are like?"
- I assume it should be trials rather than trails.
2) "What is that Rarity,"
- The sentence should be "What is that, Rarity?" Since it is a question.
I think the dialogue is fine, so you don't really have to fix it. But then again, that's just my opinion, so it's up to you. Future suggestions... Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash travel through a time vortex to find they've been launched into the distant future where there is an epic pony war over Equestria! Yeah, as you can see, I've got nothing. If I do think of something, I'll tell you, but right now I can't think of anything. Oh well, I look forward to future updates. :pinkiehappy:
And as always, FLUTTERDASH FTW :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

1090016

Yeah, it was with the pirates. Remember when Squidward buys an explosive pie for spongebob?

Thanks for your comment and I will fix the mistakes

This story so far looks great! Not too much to criticize. The dialogue was the biggest standout for me, it seemed... well, awkward. It seems as though you focus on the unimportant bits of a conversation, small talk and pleasantries, while skimming the important stuff.
“ 'Oh yeah, that’s right! The veggies in these sandwiches, you grew them didn’t you?'

'Yes. I have always enjoyed gardening so I thought I would give it a whirl. What do you think?'

'I think they are amazing! These are so much better than any restaurant I’ve ever been to!'

'Maybe I’ll make some for the road on your trip up to Cloudsdale. You leave tomorrow, right?' Fluttershy offered, perfectly in form to her usual kindness.

'Yeah... Tomorrow night, in fact. You don’t have to do that!' Rainbow replied, delightfully munching on the homegrown vegetables.

'But I want to Dash! I can really see you like them,' She giggled as Rainbow reached for another sandwich.

'Well, I guess I’m not stopping you. Cause’ they are that good!' "
In this example we find small amounts of exposition and plot development, but buried in small talk and awkward compliments. While you write that they are close friends and they can say whatever to each other, their dialogue seems limited by formalities and compliments. It seems Rainbow is restating that Fluttershy is a good cook, and Flutters is restating her concern for and willingness to help Rainbow Dash. Then you go on to skim over the (what i would imagine would be) important stuff,
"The pegasui shared a few stories and laughs as the minutes passed by. The moment was spent in the manner that only two best friends could enjoy; both felt immeasurably comfortable with sharing their feelings. After some prying, Fluttershy would open her personality a great measure; certain that Rainbow would understand."
Instead of writing out a conversation between best friends, where we get to hear Fluttershy's feelings, you merely state that such an event occurred. So in short, it seems you write out the awkward conversation starters and offhand compliments, but then skip the important dialogue that would show that the two are comfortable with each other. Other than that though, i did not find much to criticize (of course, this is partially because I have not read much of your work so i cant recognize many patterns that show throughout your writing, or any bad habbits that could be corrected). Thumbs up from me :twilightsmile:


1086648 Personally, I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on why the mane six couldn't be paired. I have no real thoughts on the matter yet, and you have a way with reason and logical debate.

1095648

Wish I had more time to write more (I will later) but all I can say is... Rewrites are on the way!

1095648 I'll probably post a brief essay-ish thing I made about the subject. XD And it's only in regards to canon, though. Beyond that, in Fanon, pair up away!

1095648
I understand all of your points and after rereading it, it totally does feel awkward and out of place! So now I'm driven to fix it! :rainbowdetermined2:

I'm rewriting all of the dialogue between Dash and Fluttershy; skipping the pleasantries as you said and focusing more on their friendship. The whole thing kinda skipped by head. Will fix!

Thanks for your input! I would really appreciate it if you could reread the chapter after the rewrite (it will be republished) and offer some input... If that's okay with you :fluttershysad:

1098577 No problem! its always nice to see my input being well received:twilightsmile:. I am looking forward to reading the edits.

1095648
You should check out my other FlutterDash fic"Living in the Present, Hoping for the Future." and let me know what you think

1095648
I edited it... Tell me what you think!

Thanks for your suggestions!

Wow! That was great:pinkiehappy:! Things flowed nicely and there was a clear sense that Dash and Flutters understood and cared for each other. I must say, I am impressed :twilightsmile:

In my personal opinion, I don't criticize chapters that often, or do I? I dunno, the important thing is that this story, this story my dear sir, is a flutterdash story and most likely will have RD and Flutter shy as a couple. Every one reading comment: Well duh, Captain Obvious. Me: Well, no need to be rude. It IS a flutterdash story. Just obviously pointing it out on the web to everyone else. People: Why? Me: Because sometimes you just feel like selling something. People: What? Me: And that is how I wiped out the dinosaurs. DinoManDraves: YOU killed all my brothers and sisters? Me: MUFFINS! :Xanazumaki: Hey! That's my joke! Navi: And there my muffins! Everyone: What the.... why would... what? :pinkiehappy:

great so far can't wait for more

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