“Rise and shine! No, rise and shine in style!”
Several crusts scratched Fluttershy’s cyan eyes. No replies were spoken; fatigue strangled her already soft voice.
“You said you wanted to get up early with me! Well, now is the time! Let’s get going! Come on!” A pair of muscular forelegs constricted a tight grip around the sleepy mare. “I need my best pal with me!”
“Okay... okay Rainbow... Rainbow Dash... I’m... I’m here.”
“Sleepy head!” Rainbow jolted Fluttershy on her hooves. “Chop chop!”
Yawning with the force of a mouse, Fluttershy stretched her legs and reached for a glass of water. “Good morning Dash.”
“Good morning? Are you kidding me? It’s a great morning! It’s always a great morning when you cruise with me!”
“I’m ready Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy whispered. “I’ll just grab a snack for the way out. Where do you want to practice?”
“I know a place really close to this hotel. A quick flight away!” Rainbow’s wings spread with excitement.
“Sure Rainbow Dash. Sorry you had to go through so much effort to wake me up.” Fluttershy’s eyes, still recovering from the morning, quickly met the ground.
“What did I tell you about apologizing! Don’t do that! You don’t need to!” A hoof soon rested across Fluttershy’s shoulder. “I actually... well... you know...”
“What is that, Rainbow Dash?”
“I need... I need the cheering! And I need the crowd!”
“Dashie, you don’t have to lie to me. What were you going to say?”
“You know, I’m like totally awesome and everything... but... I need... I need...”
“It’s okay,” Fluttershy soothed. “I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.”
“You.”
Dark embers roasted inside Equestria’s kindest heart. The air compacted every inch of yellow between a layer of heat and pressure.
“I need my friend with me. I need to know that somepony is right with me. I want somepony to remind me of what I still have at home. I need support. And I need you.”
Rainbow Dash stepped back, feeling her cheeks heat up. “You know what, my tricks are way cooler with my pal around. So yeah, totally get ready! Let’s go!”
Me? No, she needs a friend. Not me. Thoughts engaged in a violent clash inside the mare’s head.
“‘Shy? You alright? Equestria to Fluttershy. Do you come in?”
“Sorry, I’m just so tired,” Fluttershy shrugged at the weak nature of her lies. “Yes... and thank you Rainbow Dash. Everypony needs friends. Everypony needs support. Don’t worry about it.”
“Hey, I didn’t say any sappy thing like that!” Rainbow giggled. “Now, don’t tell anypony! Pinkie-promise?”
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Now what you are going to see next? That, well, you can tell everypony! Actually, I want you to tell everypony! The world must know!” Rainbow descended into her usual ramblings, speaking with the boast of Applejack and the intensity of Pinkie Pie.
“I don’t know Rainbow Dash! Maybe you could show me your tricks first, then I could go around telling everypony,” Fluttershy teased. “Equestria’s fastest pegasus isn’t all talk, right?”
Sparks jittered every strand of hair of Rainbow cyan coat. “Is that a challenge Fluttershy?”
“Yes certainly... I mean, yeah totally. It’s totally a challenge Rainbow!”
“No challenge is too great for me! And work on talking... um... cooler, Fluttershy.”
“Then I guess... well... um... how about... we both have awesome challenges! Woo hoo!”
Rainbow opened the door for her friend. “Better, but it needs practice. Unlike my flying!”
“Nopony’s perfect,” Fluttershy closed the door. “But I guess you are pretty close Rainbow Dash.”
“Rainbow Dash! I can’t believe it! That was so... umm... awesome? Woo hoo!” Fluttershy cheered.
“Awesome? No that was cool to the max! Cool beyond cool! I can’t even explain it! That’s how cool that trick was!” Rainbow roared.
“You rock!”
“Alright, that’s enough boasting for me. I don’t want anypony to see me and get jealous or anything. Wait, I do want that,” Rainbow lost herself. “Anyway, let’s see you try!”
“Me? You know I can’t top that, or even come close,” Fluttershy shrunk.
“Get on up here filly! Come on, right here, right now! Don’t make me make you get up here!”
No. I can’t do that, Fluttershy clashed her thoughts. But it would be fun.
“Five seconds and I drag you up here!”
Be assertive! Get what you want for a change!
“Three-”
She’s going to tackle me again. Be cool Fluttershy.
“Two-”
Oh Celestia! This is wrong! You’re selfish!
“One! Ready or not, here comes Rainbow Dash!”
“Eeeep!”
In a blur of rainbow, the frightened mare found herself high in the sky, safe in the grip of her friend.
“Right. You have wings. Now use them.”
Wings?
“Got get ‘em ‘Shy!”
Keep going! You’re a great flyer. Do it for yourself! Do it for Rainbow Dash!
“Come on! Double back-flip! You can do it!”
You got it! Keep it up!
“That’s it! Keep going! You got this girl!”
“Rainbow Dash! I’m doing it!”
“Finish strong!”
"I did it!"
“Fluttershy that was awesome!”
Fluttershy’s adrenaline spiked to a level previously unreachable. The tricks, already a rush beyond the bashful mare’s standards, were dwarfed by the following events. Her mind raced with the series of events and if her chilled nerves were any indication, she had already lost.
“What’s the matter ‘Shy?”
Nothing.
“You did great! I’m so proud of you! Here, hold on, I’ll let go of you.”
No.
“Talk to me girl!”
“Rainbow don’t let me go!” Dreams became a reality. Tightly pressed in a soft cradle, Fluttershy hoped to Celestia that the moment would never end.
“Huh?”
Act fast!
“Um... I’ll guess I’ll carry you back, okay?”
“Rainbow sorry... I’m... I’m scared,” she lied rather poorly. “Thank you.”
“You okay?”
“This is just so much for me to handle,” she said, which was true. “But so exciting!”
“This is cool! Carrying you while flying, it’s a good workout!” Rainbow was apparently oblivious to Fluttershy’s mixed joy and anxiety.
“There you go!” Rainbow placed the exhausted mare on a cloud. “That was, well, let’s just say I’m almost impressed!”
“I thought when you have to catch a pony, she wouldn’t be a very good flier!” Her nerves were soothed enough to allow a giggle.
“I totally didn’t catch you; I got in the way! Nothing can stop you!”
“Always saving somepony, huh Rainbow Dash?”A familiar voice echoed through the void of the sky.
“Spitfire?”
“I saw your name on the tryout list and I was real excited! This is big news! About time you finally fly with us!” Spitfire landed next to the two mares and greeted Rainbow Dash with a bro-hoof.
“Really? I mean, yeah, it is about time!” Rainbow bounced.
“I was just flying around until I saw you... and, hey wait, I know you! You’re that awesome pegasus who saved the day!” Spitfire offered her a hoof. “Fluttershy, right? You flew like a champion!”
“Thank you...” Where once she was filled with joy, Fluttershy could only now feel intimidation. Spitfire meant well in her approach, but Fluttershy couldn’t help feeling a little weak in comparison to both mares.
“She’s my best pal! I’ve known her since we were both fillies! And she’s here to cheer me on during practice!” Rainbow quickly trotted to Fluttershy’s side.
“It’s nice to always have support, that’s for sure. I wish my friends would have been there with me when I joined up,” Spitfire sympathized. “If I remember you correctly, I bet you are more than ready!”
“Are you kidding? I’m always ready! Hay, I was born ready!” Dash knocked her hoof.
“Hey don’t sweat it. I’ve seen you fly Rainbow Dash. I’m pretty impressed.” Spitfire spread her wings.
“Really? I mean, yeah, totally!”
“See you Rainbow! Nice seeing you again Fluttershy! See you both at the tryouts!” Spitfire descended towards Cloudsdale, flying with precision that only Dash could rival.
“Oh my gosh, she is so awesome! Are you watching her fly? I wanna be like her! Oh my gosh! That’s going to be me!” Rainbow shook a shell shocked Fluttershy several times to ensure her attention.
“She’s really laid-back. She seems like a really nice pony.” Fluttershy timidly replied, doing her best to recover her mind. She’s everything I’m not. This life... it’s everything I’m not.
“I can’t wait! Like really, I don’t think I can! I might explode! Ohmygoshohmygosh!”
Silence complimented the next few moments.
“So, we going to practice some more?” Dash took to flight.
“I can just watch.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“No... something’s up,” Dash landed next to her. “Sorry about that trick. You didn’t have to do it.”
Rainbow’s sympathy only intensified Fluttershy’s insecurity. “Rainbow, no, it’s okay.” Her left hind leg began to shake softly but steadily.
“Not when my friend is sad! Come on, put a smile on!”
You can’t keep up with her. She’ll go onto bigger and better things. Without you.
“Come on! Don’t leave me hanging here! What’s wrong?” Dash was beginning to exhibit mild signs of panic.
“Nothing Rainbow Dash. Still recovering from that fall,” she lied.
“Okay...” Fluttershy’s attempts to lie were beyond Rainbow Dash. “We’ll talk about this later. How about we freshen our minds with some tricks?”
“Sure...”
Confidence can’t be bought, conjured, or created. True confidence can only be earned through a series of gradual ups-and-downs. The path towards confidence isn’t a road, rather it more closely resembles a dark cavern; light exists at the end for most ponies. Fluttershy wasn’t fortunate enough to have discovered her light.
Rainbow Dash’s wings could carry the mare wherever her life demanded her. She was perfect. Her goals were in her hooves, she carried herself with supreme pride, and most of all, she knew herself.
“Check this out!” Fluttershy organized her thoughts to include her evaluation of Rainbow’s flawless tricks and her own mental struggles.
“Awesome Rainbow! Woo hoo!” Fluttershy managed to hide her mood.
“And this one!”
The duration of the next hour varied immensely for the two ponies. Rainbow Dash’s time died at the same speed as her flight. It also shared the same style, enjoyment, and passion.
Self-doubts strangled Fluttershy’s perception and dragged them downward in time. Her lack of confidence was irrational to everypony except for herself.
These feelings of anxiety could only make sense to Fluttershy as well. They were certainly sporadic, and it took very little to trigger them if the circumstances were met. Ponyville was all too familiar; a perfect place to dull her immunity to the unknowns.
The last time this had happened was during the Cloudsdale water incident. Perhaps seeing Spitfire again brought back bad memories. Or, most likely, the pressure of losing Rainbow Dash to a life of fame lit her anxious fire.
There was nothing wrong with Spitfire. In fact, she was a wonderful pony and a great role model for Rainbow Dash. Most ponies would recall Fluttershy overcoming her fears and saving Cloudsdale. Negative memories hit the timid mare much harder, more so than any positive memories. The sight of Spitfire catalyzed the final switch. Fluttershy was having an anxiety attack.
“Fluttershy? Look, I’m starting to feel... well... a little sad. And I don’t know why. I can tell you are sad. So I guess seeing you being sad makes me sad. I wanna know what’s up.”
“Rainbow Dash... I’m fine.”
“Quit playing that game.” Rainbow added a stern tone to her voice.
“I don’t know how...look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be this way. This is your day. Your weekend. A start of your new life. And I’m ruining it.”
“Is this what this is all about?” Rainbow quickly lifted Fluttershy to her feet and engulfed her in a hug. “Fluttershy, I don’t know what I’d do without you! I need you with me here!”
“I’ll... I’ll get better. I promise.”
“I want you to get better! I need my pal!” Rainbow trotted towards Cloudsdale with Fluttershy by her side. “Why don’t we go get something to eat and talk about this?
“Thank you Rainbow Dash.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just returning the favor."
"I've having a great time. I don't want you to think otherwise," Fluttershy said. "I just have sometimes where I don't feel so great. Nothing you need to worry about. You have so much more important things-"
"No," Rainbow stopped Fluttershy mid-sentence. "Friends first. Always."
"I'm not sure you will understand it..."
"Then you'll be darned sure I'll try," Dash rose triumphantly. "No friend of mine is going to feel sad!"
The pair descended into Cloudsdale with Rainbow Dash leading her frightened friend. A few minutes would pass before they found themselves back at the hotel.
"So Fluttershy, what's up?..."
I love the pacing in this story, please, continue.
1195922
Planning on it!
Thanks
damn cliffhanger
MOAR DAMN IT!
All aboard the Train of Tears, next stop Eternal sadness, I gotta baaaaaaad feelin' bout this
cdn.ripten.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/pyro.jpg
Sidenote: loved it, can't wait for MOAR
1196704
You made me
I hope you enjoy this fic! I've put a lot of effort into it's writing, more than my other fics.
I won't have time to respond to your comments after this one, but I want you to know that I appreciate your readings and feedback!
Alright, this chapter......
Downright made me laugh!
And the funny thing is, I thought this was a different story because I was to lazy to read the title of the story, so when was reading the first little bit, I was wondering what the hell was going on, so I scrolled up and saw it was your story.
1196736
Wow! Thank you!
I hope you notice that comment was for chapter 1
I did put some few criticizing in the other comments. But, it is okay right?
They go in order like: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3... etc.
I should have just typed "Nothing to criticize in chapter 1... Moving along" or something like that.
But, I am giving my final rating here:
Idea 5/5 - It's idea was pure awesome and D'awww. Loved it!
Pacing 5/5 - The pacing is really good. Not too fast, not too slow.
Spelling/Grammar 4/5 - Sorry. Most of them were grammar mistakes. (To be precise 1 spelling and others are grammars.)
Overall - Grammar is the only problem. I am guessing your Proofreader proof-read the spellings, but not grammars? (I am not saying that your Proofreader sucks. He/she is good. Only 1 spelling.) Other than that. This is pure aweso-D'awww-sauce here! I don't mind spelling and grammars that much too. So, 5/5!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
Also, I wonder when the next chapter is coming...
Nah, I am sure I can wait patiently.....
Duh, I really need to read it ASAP..... I can't wait... But I will have to... (no offense to anyone except myself.)
I wish if I can give multiple likes. Or give 5 stars on the rating system......
moar....... This video is all that need to be said.
But in all seriousness, great chapter. Can't wait for more!
1197752
Will fix those grammar mistakes and the spelling! Thanks so much for helping out! Really appreciate it! I do make a lot of mistakes sometimes, but they are all really easy to fix. Most of time.
I do work on this with my other proof-readers over google docs if you wanna join in one time.
So yeah, thank you sir or ma'am.
Expect more in the future. And thanks, yet again, for helping out
1197235
1198584
Well, I'll work hard to get it out soon. I wanna get more out soon. If this next chapter flows like the last 1/4 of the previous, expect it very soon
I gotta update my other fic as well.
1196228
I'll start working on more and drop by your fic later tonight to give you a hand,
1196369
I don't know. Apparently I write sad stuff sort of well. I don't know, I'll give it my best shot. I intend it to be a serious moment. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off.
You should be proud of always bringing a smile on my face with your images. You seem to have one for everything I write
1200793
WOW! Thanks for your kindness and appreciation. I am glad to have helped.
And thanks for calling me sir. If you haven't noticed. I am male.
You actually want me to join?
Well, I can proof-read but, I have a little problem... Of course, I am in the "Proofreaders and People willing to proof-read"
Because, at first I thought I was good enough for it. But, then I noticed a blog. Which is why that blog contained the things I need to know. So I was like . I know, I should use dictionary or something like that quickly and get working. But, I am not sure.
As you can see. I am a foreigner (non english or american.). And because, of that. I do not know what comma, punctuation or any other things like that means .
I know it seems lame. But, I am a foreigner. And, I have no record of proof-reading anyone's story. Because, I was afraid to screw it up or something. Although, I can still proof-read... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Enough about me now. And, if you still want me to join. I will be happy to help with your grammar and spelling.
I will read your other stories too. Is this the correct order: Living the present, hoping for the future And then The Adventures of Tank and Angel?
And, once again. Thanks for your appreciation. (And calling me a sir. )
1203667
You don't have to! No, I mean if you don't want to, then you don't have to. I saw the proof-reader group on your page and I kinda assumed. But don't worry.
Yes, reading "Living the Present, Hoping for the Future." first. Then Tank and Angel.
1204846
Oh... upon looking back at my comment. I think I gave you a misunderstanding. That comment is like "I have a problem. But, if you want me to. Of course, I will join. Because, it means a lot to you"
Actually, I would love to help. I have "proof-read" some stories. (something like I did on this story. By using the comment section)
Because, in the group. It has been assumed that if you proof-read someone's story before and that author says you're good. Then I will be at least accepted and will help me restore my position in the group. I have joined the group. But, after looking at requirements I was . So, I can't just leave the group like ditching or an "arsehole". So, I was kinda stuck. If I get permission from you to help you. I won't be stuck.
Anyways, I WILL help you... that is if you want to...
EDIT: !
Oh my... your "Living the Present, Hoping for the Future" has lots of chapters and they aren't short too.
Looks like it will take some time to read all of them and give feedback. And I can't simply keep posting for each chapter like I did here. And when I give feedback. I will have to point chapter numbers and explaining why/why not which will result in a long comment post. So, expect a long comment post.
Anyways, you are creative. Awesome!
Keep writing!
1204903
Take your time. "Living the Present." needs a revision. I use way too many semi-colons and there a couple of grammatical errors. But I think the idea is good!
1205005
Okay, I will read it tomorrow. And I don't mind semicolons.
Haha the barrels are losing their spotlight. Gr cliffhangers can really suck sometimes. Like when watching Transformers Prime where there was the same cliffhanger two episodes in a row with a character having smoke come out of their back, then there wasn't an episode for months, then we learn that he won't function the same, next episode: he's already starting
get back on his feet. Sorry for the rant, loved the chapter
1205005 Now that i think about it, Living in the Present, Hoping for the Future wast the first story of yours that I read, before I really knew who anyone on this site was. I stopped part way through for just that reason... I REALLY liked the idea, but the presentation wasnt the best I had read. This is in now way me trying to put you down though! That was your first fic on this site, and you have improved VASTLY since then, hay, you made it onto my favorites! But yeah, a rewrite, even though it would take awhile, would be a nice way of really measuring how far your writing talent has come from your first story here.
NOW THEN, ONTO THE CHAPTER
D'AWWWWWWWW SOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE
That's how I felt in general about this chapter. It was ADORABLE to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash doing stunts together, and the waking up scene was very realistic.
Cliffhanger!!!! Oh wait... I was behind so i get to read the next chapter right away Although... i dont know if I would have kept my sanity with a cliffhanger like that Very well executed!
Now, critical review is a lot smaller in this one, but here's what I got:
I dont know, muscular hooves just paints a weird picture for me..... I think what might be better is "A pair of muscular forelegs"
Although descending into "the Cloudsdale" does have a nice dramatic ring too it
This chapter really reminded me how great Flutterdash is as a pairing. Left me with all the Flutterdash-related warm fuzzies It also left me soooo excited and anxious for Fluttershy! I just cant tell what will happen next! That's wonderful!