Equastria Gilrs: Halfway to Destruaction

by The Blue EM2

Epilogue

Cheerilee finished reading the text, and facepalmed. "Rainbow Dash," she sighed. "Either this is intentionally bad, or you need serious help with character writing and grammar."

"What?" Rainbow Dash replied. "Nobody will want to read it if the protagonist isn't super awesome!"

"Well, who is this Tom person? Or this Jimmy person?" Cheerilee asked, confused. "They just appear out of nowhere!"

"Well, that's true," Rainbow admitted. "But my grammar isn't that bad!"

"Says the student who spelled 'bouyancy' at least 8 different ways in a single sentence," Mrs Harshvoice chimed in. "Be thankful I don't teach you English."

Rainbow Dash went red. "So, how do I fix it then?" she asked. Her face was serious.

"Well," Cheerilee said, "Start by asking whether your friends want to appear in it or not. Then work on a plot. The core story is good, but it needs fixing in order to be readable."

"And that means running it through spellcheck?" the prismatic haired girl suggested.

"More like a proofreader," Cheerilee sighed. "This reminds me of something a Canadian guy called PeterChimera sent me once, and that was absolutely atrocious."

"But worse than this, right?" Rainbow Dash asked desperately.

Cheerilee nodded. "Yes. A lot, lot worse than this. Let me demonstrate by finding the story in question for you and then..."

Author's Note:

Well, this was a hard one to write. No, seriously, writing badly on purpose is actually incredibly difficult.

This is also my only story to come in at exactly 1,000 words.

Comments

[SpikeCrosstie4077]

Why do I imagine the narrator sounding like Nostalgia Critic

[SoundOfImpact]

derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/22/381290/medium.png

[The Blue EM2]

9443134
Personally I imagine Canon590A, who did the narration in the ICTON Gmod adaptation.

[The Blue EM2]

9443177
Perfect.

[Avellana]

This is a masterpiece 👏👏

[SpikeCrosstie4077]

This was the most beautiful story I’ve ever read

[The Blue EM2]

9443534
Thanks! Mind, you have no idea how hard it is writing a deliberately bad story.

[The Blue EM2]

9443614
Thanks.

[Rednbluescooter]

I think I may have just had a stroke, and PTSD from chatting with friends with seemingly little to no knowledge on the English language (Despite it being their bloody first)

The effort to make this bad is outstanding, man :P

[The Blue EM2]

9444106
Well, congrats on your first comment on my story.

I got the idea to do this after reading the works of SonicDashFan2005, who cannot write. I took the opportunity to pastiche him, but I had to clear this with mods first.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[MorbidTheBrony]

Two words. Fucking magical, this story was. Reading every word as they were spelt in my head, already my highlight of the week.

[The Blue EM2]

9444404
Thanks! Who knew writing trollfics was so much fun?

[Silence_EXE]

Help... Me... I... Am... Dying....

[The Blue EM2]

9446771
Glad you enjoyed it.

[MorbidTheBrony]

....Sorry, mate. I may have ruined this for no reason.
https://youtu.be/NxViRcxbyys

Sorry for not asking either, I probably should have.

[The Blue EM2]

9448841
THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[wingdingaling]

Yup. This definitely reminds me of the garbage I've edited for people.

[The Blue EM2]

9450578
But the key difference is this is deliberate.

[DmitriTheWriter]

Truly the greatest piece of literature since the days of Shakespeare. Bravo, sir! Bravo!

[The Blue EM2]

9470652
Thanks man. Boy was it hard to write though...

[ZWORZT_WRITER]

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!! You made my day, good sir!

[The Blue EM2]

9497535
I thought it would be a good way of productively venting my frustration over badly written fanfiction on this site.

[Mystic Sunrise]

For a moment I thought this was written by someone else. Two of them actually (I've seen you trying to help TwistedCupcake and LonelyFanboy48, which is how I found your stories.)

It's even better when its bad on purpose.

[The Blue EM2]

9567571
That was the point; parody the worst of the worst. Glad you enjoyed.

[wingdingaling]

Ha! Every time I read this, it gets funnier! Got any more like this one?

[The Blue EM2]

9705838
I can write another, if you'd like. In the meantime, I recommend a true dumpster fire called Across the Universe.

[The Blue EM2]

9705838
Here it is.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/400711/across-the-universe

[Schattendrache]

A review for thee.

[The Blue EM2]

9817300
Thanks.