Equastria Gilrs: Halfway to Destruaction by The Blue EM2

And… this is my life now. As I have established myself as the ‘will review anything that is put in front of him’ guy, I get the privilege to review trollfics, lucky me. Now it isn’t that I don't like them, I kind of do, but the issue is… how do I review this? But let me establish the story I’m talking about first. The story is about… actually, I literally can't give you a synopsis that doesn’t give you the entire story, there is seriously no way to tell you what happens here without spoiling the story. So, go read it and come back, the rest of the review will continue assuming you have done so. Don’t worry, it’s 1000 words exactly so it should take you no more than five minutes.

You done? Ok, let's continue.

So the story is apparently a creative writing assignment done by Rainbow Dash. And, well… it's bad. I don't just mean ‘oh, there are a few spelling mistakes here, a few problems with pacing there, but it can still be fixed’, no, this story is better found in the heart of a fire. I work as an editor, and if I had to edit this, I would either; A) end up writing the entire story myself as there is nothing salvageable here save for what can GENEROUSLY be called a plot, or B) give up. The story is about a sample of magical uranium being stollen and Twilight and some other dudes trying to get it back. And… how do I best describe this? Imagine if you placed a four-year-old in front of a computer and told them to write a story, this is likely what you would get. 
Spelling; these are words/10
Grammar; It’s ‘English’ in that it's structure doesn't resemble another language/5
Pacing; there is a beginning, middle, and end that hits plot points/20

Now, here’s the thing, how do I review this? No, seriously, how is that accomplished? If I said that the spelling was garbage, 1/10, but the story was MEANT to have nonexistent spelling then it would be a success.  So, I will review it as I would normally review a story but I would like you to keep in mind that this was purposefully bad so the closer to 0 the score is the… better?

Final scores:

Writing; 1/10, This is English in so far as I can read it. Every other word is misspelled, the grammar is only vaguely there. I legitimately have stories that I wrote for my parents when I was six and seven, when I barely understood writing, that are less eye-gougingly bad.

Pacing; 2/10, There was at least an attempt at telling a story, too bad it rushes through things like Sonic if he was injected with caffeine, cocaine, and meth to the point that he was now starting to hear blue and his heart-beat could only be measured in hertz.

Character; 1/10, that one point was awarded simply due to fact that there were in fact characters in this story, and saying they were 0-dimensional would be giving them more credit than they deserve.

Total score; 4/30 or 1.33/10, this story was the closes thing I could think of that would get me to legitimately just post this video as my review and that just be it:

{I rather enjoyed making this review as I can go right for the throat and not even pretend to be nice seeing as everyone involved knows that this was bad.}

6980220
You sum it up perfectly, mate.

6980220
Props for taking this trollfic on, Schatten Honestly I don't see the point of sending in something like this for review other than for the small chance of trolling the reviewer, but ehh, great job nonetheless :D

6980653
It was meant to be dreadful. Just like the story that inspired it