• Member Since 14th Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen July 26th

NinjaTurtle


Reading and creating stories no one cares about since god-knows-when

Sequels1

T

Connor Irons is a fifteen years old boy and his prototype mech, DB, go on a mission to stop the enemy. They succeed but as they were returning, something goes wrong. Instead of returning to base, he disappeares. Question is, where did they and what does DB stand for?

Based on the game HAWKEN with a few changes. For example, since there's not much, if any, lore, I'm creating my own.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 18 )

UUUUGGGHHH!!!!! NOT BLUEBALLS!

Could be worse. At one point, I planned to have Connor kick him in the balls and use that nickname. But I just decided not to.

Finally got around to reading it you will get my feedback today or tomorrow at the earliest. Good luck and see you soon.

Thanks for reading. See you soon.

Blades dont just lose their sharpness

9733776
Really? I didn't know that. I just thought that, if used to much, it would get worn down. Thanks for the correction though.

" Really? Ya been taking note on Connor and you're not told us. " Applejack said, acting surprised.

should be you've short for you have

tips for using you, you're, your and their, there, they're. anything with 're is always previous word plus are like you're is you are and they're is they are. your and their are ownership of said object. finally there is a location. this info will be good for all you writers that read this if you did not know. hope this helps

9768673
Thanks. This is my first story so I'll take all the advice and comments I can get. I will take what you've said onto the last few chapters.

Y'know, with their sylisation of logo I awlays read it as НЯШКЕN.

9817080
Really? I can see what you mean but I still see it as HAWHEN.

9817092
It's because I'm russian, I read it as НЯШКЕN [Nyashken].

They made an oopsie.

10403811
Well, trying to kill someone usually makes them a little mad. But hey, they lived which means they're luckier than some.

Login or register to comment